Friday, 28 August 2009

Next Time, Try 'Milk of Magnesia' Instead

The court heard how Jablonski had driven his load of washing machines through Italy and France before entering the UK and had started drinking to ease 'stomach problems'.
Well, I know a bottle of whisky plus a bottle of vodka would clear up any 'stomach problems' I had. Permanently...

You have to hand it to his defence though. Even though his client had been apprehended after parking his HGV in the middle of the M20 and attempting to sleep off his bender, he wasn't going down without a fight:
Andrew Main, defending, said his client had been ill the weekend before with an upset stomach and had been unable to sleep or eat.

He said Jablonski had 'sipped' from a bottle of vodka since arriving in England on August 17.

Mr Main said his client had been tired and was planning to stop once he reached his drop-off point, adding: 'Mr Jablonski is a man of previous good character.

'He does not speak a word of English so how he is going to cope in a British prison I have no idea. Any sentence will be that much harder.
I wouldn't have though not speaking English was much of a problem for anyone in prison these days.

And if he couldn't speak English, how was he reading the road signs and obeying our traffic laws an...

Oh. Right.

13 comments:

Brat said...

Yeah, cos road signs are all written in language and not in internationally almost-identical signs, right.

JuliaM said...

Yes, indeed. All those directions don't have the names of towns on them, they have a little picture of the town! You have to hace good eyesight to make them out, though.

Oh, and those overhead dot matrix gantries? Well, when they need to warn you about fog and the need to slow down, they borrow those cloud symbols from the Met Office.

And if the police put up temporary signs for accidents and the like, they get the chap in the traffic police team who can draw a pretty good cat to do them an 'internationally recognised symbol' instead of, you know, words and suchlike...

JuliaM said...

I gues Mr Jablonski's downfall was because there wasn't an internationally-recognised symbol of a red circle with a Polish driver swigging a bottle of vodka in the middle with a big diagonal red line through it at the exit to Dover Docks?

Poor chap! Just think how easily this could have all been avoided...

Anonymous said...

Many people you can hearing I am speak very good English. Is important to have cheap car influence under the alcohol. Cheerski!

JuliaM said...

Lol!

A Nation Of Shopkeepers said...

It's 'lucky' that his vehicle was in need of repair otherwise we'd have been assessing yet another tragic road traffic accident. Do Halfords stock SatNav for the inebriated?

Anonymous said...

Off topic - but have a butchers at Heather Mills whore couture.

Leg-iron said...

Ah, the old Milk of Amnesia.

I'm off out for some later. I won't be driving.

Joe Public said...

Insult added to injury:

UK Taxpayers probably paid for his legal aid

TDK said...

Off topic

I see you're in at 31 in this list.

We are not worthy.

Rob said...

"Andrew Main, defending, said his client had been ill the weekend before with an upset stomach and had been unable to sleep or eat."

Only in Britain could drinking a bottle of whisky and a bottle of vodka on an empty stomach be considered as a defence in court. Madness.

James Higham said...

I wouldn't have though not speaking English was much of a problem for anyone in prison these days.

Just don't look pretty - that's the main rule in there, so I believe.

JuliaM said...

"Off topic

I see you're in at 31 in this list."


Oh, so I am! :)

That's not bad going. Cheers!