Saturday, 29 August 2009

The Silence Of The Lambs Lines

Two swine flu call centres are to close just weeks after opening because staff have been spending most of their time playing cards and board games.
How much did it all cost?

Hundreds of thousands. But it's ok, it was just taxpayers' money!
...staff said far fewer calls were made than predicted and supervisors allowed them to play cards and games such as Trivial Pursuit and Monopoly to help pass the long hours between calls.

One said that for most of the four weeks he was working at the NHS centre in Farnborough, Hampshire, each staff member took on average just two five-minute calls per eight-hour shift.
Nice work, if you can get it!

20 comments:

Macheath said...

What a pity nobody suggested they spend their idle hours polishing up their CV's or honing their typing skills (assuming each was sitting in front of a computer).

If their typing skills were already up to scratch, they could even have helped out with the backlog of typing the NHS seems to have accumulated since it started farming out secretarial work to India.

TheBigYin said...

I'm getting the sniffles, who am I gonna call now?

Mike said...

I rang the swine flu hot line cus my doctor wouldn't answer. I told 'em I didn't think I had some pig problem but could they help wiv this:
I started so many fights at my school - I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a lot of them.
They said, 'computer says, no'

Mike said...

Went to my doctor next morning.................

Anonymous said...

I'm confused, when you say "nice work if you can get it" are you criticising the staff for taking the job and having nothing to do?

I don't follow the point to be honest.

Mike said...

She said, 'There's nothing wrong with you Michael. You just need to get laid.'

Mike said...

I said laid, not paid, lol

Mike said...

If I have sex at work, is that prostituting myself?

Anonymous said...

Yes Mike but much worse, you could find yourself boring folk.

Mike said...

As in music? Because the only folk I know isn't exactly foot tapping if you know what I mean.
A note on dancing and music: if you can twist and head bang there is no other dance you need to know. Any music will accommodate either the twist or head banging. ******Warning******
Do not
repeat
Do not
Twist and head bang at the same time unless very, very drunk.

JuliaM said...

"What a pity nobody suggested they spend their idle hours polishing up their CV's or honing their typing skills..."

That would have been more profitable for them, I'm sure..

"I'm getting the sniffles, who am I gonna call now?"

Ghostbusters...? :)

"I'm confused, when you say "nice work if you can get it" are you criticising the staff for taking the job and having nothing to do?"

No, it's more a criticism of the idiots that employed them, frankly..

Mike said...

I aint afraid of no goats

paul said...

i aint afraid of no goats!

Haha, thats a good one mike. u mispeld ghosts and it came up GOATS, but u did it on purpurse, haha. im tyrying to get any tips 2 make women laff?

Oldrightie said...

Why comment if you don't follow the point, twat?

"are you criticising the staff for taking the job and having nothing to do?"

I guess they just felt like they were back at school.

Macheath said...

Oldrightie, how true;
'Earlier this month the Daily Mail revealed that some phone lines were being manned by 16-year-olds with as little as three hours training.'

It's reassuring, isn't it, to know our medical welfare is in such capable hands?

Mike said...

Oldrightie, your point is what exactly? twat, cunt, arse, feck.

Grow up

I aint afriad of no GOATS

lol

Mike said...

work to live or live to work

precious

ranter said...

I'd forgotten all about swine flu. It's a bit like the bird flu scare 3 years ago, big panic, scare stories all over then .....nothing. Watch this space though - death, terror, doom all coming to us all via The Daily Mail once the Bank Holiday is over. We're dooooooomed!

JuliaM said...

"It's reassuring, isn't it, to know our medical welfare is in such capable hands?"

You mean, a bit like this?

Hey, at least those 16 year old would have come up with a better game! :)

"It's a bit like the bird flu scare 3 years ago, big panic, scare stories all over then .....nothing."

One wonders what the next scare story will be. Ebola?

Longrider said...

Having had the misfortune to work in call centres in my time, this is not atypical. These people always over estimate the amount of calls they will get and the temps that are recruited know this full well. It's then just a case of waiting to see who will get laid off first.