Saturday 19 September 2009

Hugh Pennington Wins The Race...

...to be the first person to call for children to be banned from petting zoos 'because of the risk':
Parents should not allow under-fives to touch animals at petting farms, a leading microbiologist has said amid E.coli fears involving four sites.

Professor Hugh Pennington said they were "most likely to touch the animals" and "the most difficult part of the population to get to wash their hands".
I do believe (I don't have any myself) that they are 'the most difficult part of the population' to get to eat their greens, as well. And to ignore warnings not to cross the road without looking...

So, should we feed them only chicken dippers and keep them indoors? What say you, Pennington, you great ninny? I mean, they aren't in charge, are they? It's the adults that are in...

Oh. Or, are they?
Professor Pennington said: "Clearly I think the public expects that we have a really good look at the guidelines.

"And also to look at the way the guidelines are being implemented - it's all very well having guidelines if people are not following them."
So, the problem isn't with the guidelines at all, then?

So why would the people who aren't following those guidelines follow the ones you are now suggesting!?

11 comments:

David Gillies said...

I've found the solution:

here's Professor Pennington's kidneys

here's a 16oz ball-pein hammer

I think they should be introduced to one another. I'm sure they'll get along just fine.

Anonymous said...

Jesus what a moron.

Kids have been going to petting zoos for decades (centuries?)

And now because the HPA fucked up royally, the kids are no longer allowed to enjoy the wonder and delight of seeing and touching cute animals.

Christ what a useless bunch of cunts... Deprive milliuns of children a bit of fun, becuase yet another state body proves itself incompetent...

Pavlov's Cat said...

I think there are some hidden victims here as well

Why are we not told of the countless toddlers of farmers and farm workers ( who actually, shock, horror actually live on farms) they must be clogging up the childrens wards of hospitals.

I blame Nulabor


wv. thedredu ( The Dread Ewe geddit? Oh please yourselves...)

James Higham said...

Children to be banned from touching animals?

Tehre is a gruff blogger I visit, not given to flights of fancy and he is running a quote about whether it might just be the end times we're in.

AntiCitizenOne said...

Another one for "The Wall" when the time comes?

David Gillies said...

No, AC1, kidneys + hammer. Shooting is far too merciful.

Gotta be public too, to put the wind up rest of the leather-elbow-patched mattress stains. Christ, a chilly, death-scented wind will blow through the staff common rooms of British universities when I ride back in on my pale horse. You'll be laughing out of the other side of your face for nicking my Spectator while I wasn't looking, you waste of space from Lang and EurStud.

JuliaM said...

"And now because the HPA fucked up royally, the kids are no longer allowed to enjoy the wonder and delight of seeing and touching cute animals."

Not just that, they gave misleading statements to the press about what they knew, and when they knew it. Heads should roll...

"I think there are some hidden victims here as well..."

Ah, but unlike urban children, I suspect they've learned to obey safety instructions and wash their hands...

"Another one for "The Wall" when the time comes?"

I'm beginning to think even the Great Wall of China won't be long enough...

Anonymous said...

This is idiotic, how else does an immune system develop if it does not encounter germs and viruses at an early stage. I think the "over clean" sterile environment we are seeing children being raised in means they are becoming more vulnerable to allergies and illness. I don't mean not to take care and parents should, of course, take care to avoid obvious threats and use soap and water etc.
TTFN, MJN :)
Still too idle to register...

Stewart Cowan said...

If children were only fed chicken dippers they would suffer severe consequences due to the chemicals pumped into cheap battery-farmed chickens.

a) They would quickly become immune to antibiotics and

b) they would grow to over fourteen feet tall due to the growth hormones.

They'd likely be dead at 19. Most probably by inadvertently banging their heads on bridges.

I'd take my chances at the petting zoo, although there are dangers and we, the unwashed, need authority to frighten us into complying with directives.

P.S. I was walking round Morrison's yesterday and there was a tannoi advert for toothpaste, complete with directions on how to use it, like 'remember to brush below the gum-line'.

Can't wait for the toilet paper announcements!!

Leg-iron said...

Ah, another pronouncement from Saucy HP. He lurks near me, very near.

Expect a pronouncement from him on 'a new treatment for Clostridium difficile in hospitals' very soon.

He had nothing to do with the work at all and I say that with absolute confidence... because I am.

JuliaM said...

"This is idiotic, how else does an immune system develop if it does not encounter germs and viruses at an early stage. I think the "over clean" sterile environment we are seeing children being raised in means they are becoming more vulnerable to allergies and illness. "

Yes, I've noticed the trend for anti-bacterial wipes and sprays to be advertised non-stop. I can't think it's doing anyone any good.

We certainly don't seem to be raising a healthier population, do we?

"Can't wait for the toilet paper announcements!!"

Eeeeewwww!

Shouldn't joke though. They are probably coming...

"Expect a pronouncement from him on 'a new treatment for Clostridium difficile in hospitals' very soon.

He had nothing to do with the work at all and I say that with absolute confidence... because I am."


Oooh, I'll be on the look-out for any announcement of that!