Wednesday, 26 May 2010

If You Want To Know The Time, Don’t Ask A Policeman…

…because he’ll be too busy handing out cards to kids:
Premier League Footballers, Power Rangers and predators have all been the subject of popular card swapping game Top Trumps.

And now it is the turn of the police as the Hayes and Coney Hall safer neighbourhood team unveil their own version - Cop Trumps.
This is, apparently, the brainchild of some cretin promotion-conscious cop to ‘engage with the community’ and ‘promote safety’:
The cards are a set of 30 numbered cards featuring pictures and descriptions of the officers from the team.

Each officer will carry their own card and children will be challenged to find and speak to officers - either when out patrolling the ward or when visiting the school - to collect their card.

Additional cards will be given to children on request in answer to a simple personal safety question and they will then get a special ‘gold’ card congratulating them when they have collected the full set.
Oh, good grief!
PC Mark Donovan from the Hayes and Coney Hall Safer Neighbourhood Team said: "Younger children have always enjoyed collecting cards and we have certainly seen a lot of interest in these new Cop Trump cards.

We hope that the children will enjoy building the set, and learning more about the work of the police and their local officers."
His work?

Will he be ever able to do any, while being followed around the borough by hyperactive kiddiewinks begging for cards?

12 comments:

Uncle Marvo said...

Oh, I don't know.

When I were a lad, we used to know our copper. I sort of liked it. We got the odd clip round the ear, and the copper got respect. But then he didn't carry a gun/radio/GPS/CCTV camera.

Cops: good.

Traffictype Cops: cunts.

banned said...

I would very much like to see in which ways the more imaginative sproggs deface said cards and pin them to trees in the park

Jiks said...

Hmm, I thought taking pictures of the police was an aid to terrorists?

Their pictures and names together must be even more dangerous, sounds like a serious offence to me. I hope the PC who came up with this caper thinks the crime is worth the time!

Bucko said...

Don't top trumps have points on them for various things like biggest engine or most goals scored?

Do the Cop Trump cards have points for the cop who has issued the most littering tickets or the cop who has hit the most chavs with his batton?

ranter said...

A former colleague sent me through a copy of the the Met's Intranet page with this story on a few weeks ago. This one stood out amongst the numerous other so called 'good news' stories that are inflicted on officers and staff on a daily basis. Your summing up using the word 'cretin' and then 'promotion conscious' are spot on. The sad thing is, this cretin really does beleive he is doing something worthwhile.
Many stories seek to sensationalise what these people are paid to do (unlike in PC DONOVAN's case). A continuous stream of awards and local commendations FOR DOING THEIR BLOODY JOBS! Complete bollocks all of it but a performance indicator in one respect showing that the Safer Neighbourhoods Project is also complete BOLLOCKS!
Please be assured that there is still a majority of officers and staff who find these stories offensive but, thanks to New LAbour, that majority is getting smaller every day.

moriarty said...

The police have done this before. And I'm sure some other Ruralshire force tried something similar even earlier.

I wonder who comes up with these ideas, and how much they get paid.

Hogday said...

If some of the so called `leaders` from my old outfit dished out cards with their pictures, to their officers, with the same challenge, we'd still be out there looking for them.

Mr Ecks said...

Back in the day (1930s--it was my Dad who gave this info)Trumping was slang for farting. Fits for our bluebottle buddies.

John R said...

Having solved all crime, arrested all suspects and returned their patch to the peaceful way it used to be when I was a lad they're sure to have plenty of time for this exceedingly pointless activity.

patently said...

Like John R, I'm pleased to hear that all the local crime problems are solved and there is nothing else to distract the Police.

Given that all the local kids are therefore (presumably) looking for something new to do, is it not very thoughtful of the force to give them all free darts targets.

JuliaM said...

"We got the odd clip round the ear, and the copper got respect."

Respect stopped when that option went out the window.

"I would very much like to see in which ways the more imaginative sproggs deface said cards and pin them to trees in the park"

You can see it coming, can't you?

"Hmm, I thought taking pictures of the police was an aid to terrorists?"

It's clear they didn't think this through. All it needs now is ANOTHER ambitious police officer to raise it, and...

"...but, thanks to New LAbour, that majority is getting smaller every day."

I hope there's a few who will be getting short shrift for their bonkers ideas now the ConDems are starting to pick up the reins. But I'm not hopeful.

JuliaM said...

"The police have done this before. "

It did seem familiar, but I' couldn't find anything. Thanks for link.

"If some of the so called `leaders` from my old outfit dished out cards with their pictures, to their officers, with the same challenge, we'd still be out there looking for them."

Heh! That's senior management everywhere, it seems...

"Like John R, I'm pleased to hear that all the local crime problems are solved and there is nothing else to distract the Police."

Must be a paradise of lawful behaviour, mustn't it?