Thursday, 27 May 2010

Go To Work On An Egg A Motivational Statement!

Well, my office's teamworking event was, as expected, a massively pointless waste of time. But as I sit here gloomily contemplating my bulging email inbox, I realise it could be worse:
Many people admit they struggle to get motivated for a day's work when they first get up in a morning.

But police in Manchester have been given a helping hand after bosses printed American-style slogans on their breakfast cereal boxes.

The messages, which cost almost £2,400 to create, include: 'Start your day the citizen-focused way' and 'Putting people first.'
Oh, I just bet they went down a storm...
One disgruntled officer said: 'I can't believe the force would spend money on rubbish like this when there are cut-backs all over the place.'
Can't you? Can't you really?
Assistant Chief Constable Terry Sweeney (Ed: Really..?) defended the decision to create the boxes.

He said: 'The promotional cereal and tea bag boxes were produced at a minimal cost around 18 months ago and have long-since passed their sell-by date.

'In late 2008, we sent out 500 of each around the force and, at the time they were issued, we received very few negative comments from anyone within the force and it was generally well-received.

'They were designed to show - in a more eye-catching format than a simple poster - what officers and staff should be doing to improve public confidence in the policing and the delivery of the 'policing pledge', such as how to make it easier for people to contact us.

'The money for them came out of the 2008/9 budget, which came out of a different economic climate. To complain about them now is, in my view, a little after-the-event.'
There you have it - modern management to a 't'. If they don't hear enough complaints (and you can just bet they went out of their way not to hear any..) it must be a success...

9 comments:

Jiks said...

They were designed to show - in a more eye-catching format than a simple poster - what officers and staff should be doing to improve public confidence in the policing and the delivery of the 'policing pledge.

Ohh, did they say stuff like "Stop wasting money on pointless drivel", "Get off your behind and go catch a criminal" and "Don't drive 110 mph to deliver a birthday card to get the last doughnuts" then?

Bucko said...

£2400? Jeez. Even if they really were necessary, surely they could just have printed some stickers on the office printer and stuck those on the boxes.
And it doen't matter what the financial climate was like when they did it. A waste of money is a waste of money in any financial climate.

Joe Public said...

Therein lies the skill.

Waste some money on a useless project one year; then, "save' that project's budget by scrapping it, the following year!

banned said...

What a dreary fool must have thought that one up and the police bloggs make it clear that complaints about progressive initiatives are unwelcome and will not help career advancement.

If I were just sitting down to relax, possibly for the only time all day, the last thing I would want to see would be an odious offialeeze slogan staring at me.

MTG said...

How I wish I had read this topic before commenting elsewhere on the parallel universe theory.

My conclusion that we had already established ideal lives somewhere, failed to take account of our police. Plod will need n+1 attempts to get things right.

Ross said...

"But police in Manchester have been given a helping hand after bosses printed American-style slogans on their breakfast cereal boxes."

If that's American style then I can see why they are so keen on going on workplace killing sprees.

Chalcedon said...

Wot? No focus groups? No measurement of success or failure? these bozos aren't doing their job and certainly aren't constructing motivational processes properly. If there is no measurement you cannot judge value for money!

Ben said...

I'm assuming that you haven't seen the anonymous surveys that GMP send out every couple of months.

You know, the ones that ask for your full postcode. And have police officers knocking on your door to 'remind' you to fill them out?

I'm betting that particular piece of idiocy costs a lot more than £2400

JuliaM said...

"Even if they really were necessary, surely they could just have printed some stickers on the office printer and stuck those on the boxes."

You'd think, wouldn't ou?

"If I were just sitting down to relax, possibly for the only time all day, the last thing I would want to see would be an odious offialeeze slogan staring at me."

Indeed. What happened to 'quality time'?

"If that's American style then I can see why they are so keen on going on workplace killing sprees."

Heh!

"No focus groups? No measurement of success or failure?"

Most measurements make damn sure, by dint of careful manipulation of the method, that failure isn't an option...

"I'm assuming that you haven't seen the anonymous surveys that GMP send out every couple of months.

You know, the ones that ask for your full postcode. And have police officers knocking on your door to 'remind' you to fill them out?"


No, and just as well! There might be a breach of the peace should that happen here...