Terror Stalks The Land...

"The people of the village, numbering some fifty men, women and children, were in a state of abject terror, and though the sun was still up when I arrived I found the entire population inside their homes behind locked doors, and it was not until my men had made a fire in the courtyard and I was sitting down to a cup of tea that a door here and there was cautiously opened, and the frightened inmates emerged."

MANEATERS OF KUMAON By JIM CORBETT

Alaska & Canada have man-eating grizzlies and polar bears, Indian children fear tigers and leopards, African children build bomas to protect their goats from lions and hyaenas. Even the sunny Californian forests are stalked by the mountain lion.

Here in England, we've had to make do with...well, the occasional sighting of an out-of-place big cat that just doesn't pass the smell test.

In fact, the biggest predator of our young (apart from other young) has been the Ford Escort.

Not any more...

Weighing almost two stone and measuring four feet from his nose to the tip of his tail, this is thought to be the biggest fox ever found in Britain.

Twice the normal size of the species, it was trapped and killed in a garden in the South East after apparently devouring a pet cat.

The discovery has fuelled fears that urban foxes are hunting new prey after getting bigger and bolder as they gorge themselves on leftovers, including treats put out for them by animal lovers.

Oh, and check out the photo accompanying the article. All the old hunter's tricks to make your quarry seem bigger and more impressive are employed - body stretched out on a frame, small child photographed behind the animal...

But it doesn't take a super-fox to make a modern metrosexual wet his Calvin Kleins, the ordinary kind seems to suffice, as the 'Mail' has already showed us, so why the fuss here? Particularly when the 'cat-killing' story doesn't exactly stack up, in examination:

The new giant was caught by vet Keith Talbot at his parents’ home in Maidstone, Kent, on Boxing Day after they told him they believed a fox had killed their black and white pet cat, Amber.

The 'Mail' illustrates this with a picture of the cat. It turns out to be a tabby and white. OK, this is clearly going to be a 'Mail' article of larger-than-usual proportions too...

But a fox - even a large male - taking a healthy adult cat is very, very unusual. So maybe they are onto someth...

Ah:

He said today: ‘Obviously, they were very upset. Amber was 19 and liked sleeping on the front door mat.

Nineteen is a good age for a cat, but it's at the far edge. A vet should know this, surely?

Mr Talbot said: ‘I’ve seen cats and foxes in the garden before and they normally give each other a wide berth.

‘Cats can usually defend themselves and are not on the menu for a fox. But when a fox gets that size, and particularly in bad weather, it appears it may become desperate and go for a cat.’

Take another look at that picture. Apart from being dead, that's the healthiest (not to mention glossiest and fattest) damned fox I've ever seen! It's not exactly desperate, is it? Not if it weighs twice the normal weight for an animal in its range, either...

Still, at least there's no irresponsible moron using this to panic the population into...

Oh, FFS!

The giant fox’s discovery was revealed today on the internet-based Fieldsports Channel - and was pictured next to a boy of seven, to give a sense of scale.

Presenter Charlie Jacoby said: ‘If it took a cat, who’s to say it wasn’t on the path to taking a child?

‘If I lived in the suburbs with children, I would think twice about leaving the baby out in the pram on a warm summer night knowing outsize foxes are out there.’

Is this cretin in league with Clive Aslet, 'Country Life' editor?

Tomorrow the channel will seek to confirm that an even bigger fox has been found after a man contacted them to say he shot one weighing 34lb in Somerset last year.

/facepalm

And I thought the junkie fox story was a lulu. Trust the 'Mail' to go one better...

Update: The 'Telegraph' sinks to a new low in their retelling of the story:

A dog fox will often grow bigger than the rest of the pack because the social system means the alpha male gets most of the food and the rest get leftovers.

Foxes are social pack hunters now! Who knew..?!?