A sharp-eyed visitor claims to have spotted two alligators lurking in a lake at his holiday park.This guy’s going for the gold! Not one out-of-place animal, but two!
Park manager Dave Potter, 58, told The Sun: 'It has caused quite a stir.‘Had a good look’..?
'We have 90 plots for caravans and lodges, so there are a lot of people here.
'The police had a good look around but didn't find anything.'
Did they send down divers? I’ve seen ‘Lake Placid’. I know how that turns out!
Alligator expert Dr Laura Brandt said it was possible the alligators had been released or found their way to the water.Wow, she’s a great alligator expert, isn’t she? I totally didn’t know that!
She warned: 'They will eat anything that moves.'
Mind you, if spotted again, the police would be wise not to bring in armed units:
They don't get many alligators in the suburbs of land-locked Kansas City, but if and when they do the local police like to think they can handle it.Congrats! You shot…a concrete lawn ornament. Twice!
Officers responding to a rare sighting in the suburb of Independence, Missouri, left nothing to chance.
Seeing the alligator's head lurking menacingly in the weeds leading down to a pond they fired off one shot with perfect precision.
Noting that the beast hadn't moved, they fired again.
A Independence police spokesman said, in defence of the officers, it was growing dark when the incident occurred.Fantastic excuse! ‘We fired off two shots at a lawn ornament because we couldn’t see it properly’.
Do you feel a lot safer now, citizens of Independence..?
9 comments:
I think the 'Independent Spokesperson' meant to say 'a bit dim'?
I wonder if the Spokesperson was employed to do PR for the caravan park. Imagine
Spokesperson: Yes, I'll put this place on the map, get you in the papers etc
~ Later ~
Parkowner: aahhh... you said what?
Spokesperson: don't worry, no such thing as bad publicity
Why on earth didn't they send an officer right up to it so they could see if it was a real alligator?
Oh wait.....do you think thats a good idea or not?
Just aswell i never got sent to it as i would be getting the navy to fite tomohawk cruise missiles into the water.....who wants to get eaten alive by a bleeding alligator?
'Fake' animals & Police?
They do these things SO much better in China
http://tinyurl.com/67sz478
Our police would have failed to arrest the alligator at the scene, charged one they found in a zoo, and finally got 'their man' after tip-offs from jilted female alligators complaining about a crocodile.
Time for an internet classic:
The Tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo
by Richard Aronson (aronson@sierratel.com)
...In the early seventies, Ed Whitchurch ran "his game," and one of the participants was Eric Sorenson. Eric plays something like a computer. When he games he methodically considers each possibility before choosing his preferred option. If given time, he will invariably pick the optimal solution. It has been known to take weeks. He is otherwise, in all respects, a superior gamer.
Eric was playing a Neutral Paladin in Ed's game. He was on some lord's lands when the following exchange occurred:
ED: You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you
see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause) It's about 30 ft across, 15 ft high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo.
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo.
ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it
respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric, it's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (roll to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasn't it wounded?
ED: OF COURSE NOT, ERIC! IT'S A GAZEBO!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a +3 arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to
destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you
could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try.
It's a @#$%!! gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.) I run away.
ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It's too late. You've awakened the gazebo.
It catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so
I can avenge my Paladin.
At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining to Eric what a gazebo is. Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. It could have been worse; at least the gazebo wasn't on a grassy gnoll.
Many years ago I did a lot of surveying on Exmoor. I was lead and I had a young Chainman, whose job it was to carry the measuring staff and stand at the point we were measuring. He was very keen to learn so we would swap roles and I got him to check the levels I had recorded and I went and held the staff for him to read (all very exciting stuff)
Whilst we were out surveying old masonry arches on Exmoor I left him to setup the level and went to take a look at the structure. When I came back he was rooted to the spot, using the level sights to spy on something.
"I can see the Exmoor Beast" he exclaimed. A slight prickle caused the hairs on the back of my neck to rise. I requested he let me see. I used the sights to pick up the beast, it was low and black alright. It was shortly after that I sat him down and explained to him about the Exmoor Wild Ponies and suggested an eye test may be in order.
"I think the 'Independent Spokesperson' meant to say 'a bit dim'?"
That's even more accurate!
"Spokesperson: don't worry, no such thing as bad publicity"
I like the way you think.. ;)
"Why on earth didn't they send an officer right up to it so they could see if it was a real alligator?"
They don't have to go all the way up to it to see if it's real, they just have to get close enough to see what they're shooting...
"They do these things SO much better in China"
LOL!
"Our police would have failed to arrest the alligator at the scene, charged one they found in a zoo, and finally got 'their man' after tip-offs from jilted female alligators complaining about a crocodile."
:D
"It could have been worse; at least the gazebo wasn't on a grassy gnoll."
That story had me in fits! Especially the punchline ;)
" It was shortly after that I sat him down and explained to him about the Exmoor Wild Ponies and suggested an eye test may be in order."
/facepalm
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