Friday 14 October 2011

Animal Lovers…

Victoria Bekiempis (staff writer at Broward-Palm Beach New Times, in Fort Lauderdale, Florida) has an article in CiF that….well, just read on:
Saturday was a sad day for the ranks of Florida's zooists – people who have sex with other members of the animal kingdom.
Oh. Perverts, you mean? Well, why didn’t you say so?
On 1 October, a state law went into effect that bars erotic contact between people and non-human animals, "however slight". The misdemeanor carries a jail sentence of up to one year.
So, no feeling a little hoarse* when in Florida…
Mention of bestiality typically elicits comedic cracks on hillbillies, polemics, as well as a resurgent intellectual interest in the topic.
So if, as a result of this blogpost, you’re finding yourself Googling ‘Puppy Love’ and not meaning the Jimmy Osmond song, well, my commiserations.

If you do mean the Jimmy Osmond song, there’s no hope for you…
Turns out, there is a vocal contingent of bestiality enthusiasts. They think that human-animal eroticism is misunderstood, and decry both social and legal opposition to bestiality as a limitation of sexual freedom – unfair government intrusion into their bedroom (or barn) activities.
Slippery slope, anyone?
A handful of made-for-tabloid bestiality arrests easily supports this thesis: people rallied against a north Florida man who asphyxiated a pregnant goat during intercourse, even screen-printing "Baaa Means No!" T-shirts.
SNORK!
Floridians were just as outraged by a blind man who routinely had sex with his guide dog, "Lucky".


No, not touching that one!
Discussion of the mandate has tended to veer toward cheeky jokes
Oh. I guess I better stop here, then?

* With thanks to Edwin for reminding me of that one...

21 comments:

SBC said...

Bestiality? Isn't that when you sleep with a ginger?

The Filthy Engineer said...

"So, no feeling a little hoarse* when in Florida…"

That's another keyboard ruined by a mouthfull of spat out coffee.

Lynne said...

Actually it was Donny Osmond.

I can't believe I just said that.

Damn!

I'm going outside. I may be some time...

Pavlov's Cat said...

Imagine the consternation if this legislation was enacted in Wales

oh wait

bars erotic contact between people and non-human animals,

As you were, wouldn't apply

Ross said...

I think I should be left alone.... er I mean they should be left alone to do what they want.

Lynne said...

Before I leave I perhaps someone ought to tell this young lady that next month's Turkish cultural dance gig in Miami has been cancelled.

Mrs Erdleigh said...

And no, wooing doesn't make a difference.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3872060/Pet-sex-man-wooed-dog.html

RantinRab said...

I remember a programme on channel 4 some years ago all about those who 'loved' their animal partners.

One even married his horse. Pixel, I think her name was.

I've been mentally scarred ever since.

RantinRab said...

If you're brave enough, the documentary is on you tube. Search for 'animal passions'.

Enjoy. *Boak*

Tattyfalarr said...

*rrrreeeeeeetch*

'Nuff said.

Hexe said...

You forgot to add the classic song for this theme Julia :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCRE9qOgbug

It contains the best line ever (also applicable to many other situations): "Someone should tell him 'NO'"

Longrider said...

Lynne beat me to it - it was Donny, not Jimmy. Jimmy was the long haired lover from Liverpool.

Likewise, how did I remember that?

blueknight said...

One even married his horse. Pixel, I think her name was.

And think I already did the joke about it being a stable relationship.

So... was the horse groomed?

Paul in Nottingham said...

Can I just mention that Derby County are known as the mutton molesters?

P T Barnum said...

Yes, yes, all very amusing, until you find you might be related to someone with an unnatural interest in four-footed folk. My distant ancestor would have been executed if he'd been found guilty at his trial for bestiality in 1834. He was acquitted.

His brother, convicted of sheep stealing, was less fortunate and was sent to Tasmania for 10 years.

It's all true, btw, but the trial must have been extraordinary :)

Captain Haddock said...

I'm amazed that Roy Rogers got away with singing about his "Four-legged Friend" for so long .. ;)

SBC said...

"Yes, yes, all very amusing, until you find you might be related to someone with an unnatural interest in four-footed folk"

My Mom's family are from Norfolk. In the norfolk dialect the word for someone who is into bestiality is an "Only Child" (ie doesn't have a sister).

*Hums the hit folk song "I've been banned from Banham Zoo...and the Dinosaur Adventure Park too"

SBC said...

Here the Norfolk Anthem: "I lost my virginity at Banham Zoo"

http://tinyurl.com/6j9jfjx

...don't blame me if you are damaged for life after listening

David Gillies said...

Longrider: you have summoned Osmond singing "Long-haired Lover from Liverpool" from the shadows into my cerebral cortex once again. I do not thank you for this. As a counter-move, I ask you to cast your mind back and contemplate the mysteries of a universe that permitted there to be such a thing as the Bay City Rollers.

You're welcome.

JuliaM said...

" Isn't that when you sleep with a ginger?"

Only a ginger seal...

"I can't believe I just said that.

Damn! "


Bwahaha!

"As you were, wouldn't apply"

:D

"And no, wooing doesn't make a difference."

*boggle*

JuliaM said...

"I remember a programme on channel 4 some years ago all about those who 'loved' their animal partners."

Ahhh, good ol' Channel 4 - the Freakshow Channel!

"You forgot to add the classic song for this theme Julia "

SNORK! There's also that famous rugby song, 'Bestiality's Best, Boys!'.

"..but the trial must have been extraordinary :)"

But probably not what Clarke has in mind when pondering whether to televise trials!

"Show me on the figure where the naughty man touched you..."

"As a counter-move, I ask you to cast your mind back and contemplate the mysteries of a universe that permitted there to be such a thing as the Bay City Rollers."

Checkmate!