Thursday 9 January 2014

In Vino Veritas, Mr Samuels?

Her solicitor Simon Samuels told the court: “When sober, Miss Eden comes across as a quiet, nice, young woman...”
And when she's partaken of a sherry or two?
Ian Allen, prosecuting, told the court all three had been drinking throughout the night and while Eden’s friend left at about 2.30am, she remained there until 7.15am when Mr Mlothshwa asked her to leave.
He said: “She was extremely drunk and the complainant reports she began to attack him, biting him on the left hand side of his chest. He tried to defend himself, trying to keep Miss Eden away from him, which was followed by her biting him on his right hand little finger, causing it to bleed.
“The defendant was sufficiently intoxicated that she herself fell over, striking her face on the floor, causing her mouth to bleed. She began spitting blood around the room when the complainant telephoned the police and she left the property.”
After leaving the property, Eden, who claims on social network profiles to be a model, singer and actress, found herself in a locked alleyway belonging to the Tasty Chicken takeaway below the flat.
She made her way into that property where owner Mohammad Khan found her shouting “I need to get out”. She was then arrested.
 Ah.
However, he said following similar convictions, Eden had signed up to a rehabilitation programme and had decided to live with her father in Islington permanently to “leave the influences of Southend which are putting her in the position to drink”.
Whew! Luckily, there's no such bad influences in Islington...

4 comments:

Hogdayafternoon said...

Ah, Southend, that explains it. Poor kid, she just never stood a chance. I blame those Thames Estuary winkle-picking, whelk munchers. Must dash, I have a 2 for 1 pass to the Kursaal.

Furor Teutonicus said...

XX Mr Mlothshwa XX

Obviously pised at the time as well.

Mister fucking WHAT??

Furor Teutonicus said...

XX She began spitting blood around the room when the complainant telephoned the police and she left the property.” XX

"Have you nothing better to do? Go and arrsest a rapist, or something!"

JuliaM said...

"Ah, Southend, that explains it."

Oi! ;)