When it comes to making love, most people like to think they've got the hang of things by the time they hit 50.Which, I think we’d all agree, is pretty much the biggest waste of £8000 ever. I’d rather they put it into flowers for the Mayor’s Office, frankly – if they are going to steal our money, at least don’t slap us all in the face with it as well!
But such experienced individuals are apparently in urgent need of guidance in the bedroom.
Town hall officials in Manchester have spent £8,000 of taxpayers' money to produce an illustrated guide to sex for over-50s.
The illustrated 47-page booklet offers tips for those seeking to spice up their marriage or looking for new love after divorce.
Critics of the project say that, instead of paying for a sex guide, the council should use public funds to improve routine services such as schools, rubbish collection and public amenities.Well, most people would say that’s what we have a council for.
Otherwise, we might as well get the staff of ‘Marie Claire’ and ‘Cosmopolitan’ to empty our bins…
Last night Tory MP Ann Widdecombe said: 'I think this guide is an incredible waste of money. If someone hasn't learnt how to have sex by the time they have turned 50 then a booklet is certainly not going to help.Possibly the fact that, when they do it, we don’t rise up, march on the Town Hall with flaming torches and pitchforks and throw the bums out?
'I can't understand what possesses these people to come up with ideas like this.'
Maybe we should try it…
12 comments:
If Widders can't understand what makes people think things like this up, she should find a mirror...
Manchester City Council have always been big on wasting money - although at least this doesn't appear to be one of Pat Karney's vanity projects. Now there's a guy who really would turn up at the opening of an envelope.
My dear heart and I would have shown them for a lot less than eight grand! Pillocks.
"Possibly the fact that, when they do it, we don’t rise up, march on the Town Hall with flaming torches and pitchforks and throw the bums out?"
And why do we not? In case they bring out a £8,000 illustrated guide on how to do that ....
Really it is the lack of repercussions that enables this sort of thing. When officials behave in this fashion, they should learn to fear serious negative consequences.
How will marching on the council with flaming torches and pitchforks and throw the bums out help my sex life?
Still it's got to be worth a try ;-)
"Manchester City Council have always been big on wasting money..."
It would be nice to find a council, any council, that didn't...
"My dear heart and I would have shown them for a lot less than eight grand!"
A missed opportunity... ;)
"In case they bring out a £8,000 illustrated guide on how to do that ..."
Lol!
"When officials behave in this fashion, they should learn to fear serious negative consequences."
Agreed. Can't see any signs on the horizon though. In fact, I can see things accelerating faster and faster downhill.
It's getting so I can't keep up with the horror stories!
"Still it's got to be worth a try ;-)"
Heh!
Recipe for dealing with Manchester City Council:
1.Take eight thousand well seasoned Manchester taxpayers, and send each of them to the town hall with a metal saucepan, and a metal potato masher.
2. Add some beer to get them in the swing of things.
3. Tell them the council owes them a quid each, and show them how to bang the pans and mashers together, incessantly, outside the town hall until they get their money back.
That's how they got rid of a poxy government in Iceland last year.
Excuse me but the stalwart citizens of Manchester might start by stopping voting Labour. You get what you vote for. (Current council: Labour - 62, Lib Dem - 33, Tory - 1)
Apparently one of their "corporate objectives" is "To provide services that are relevant, efficient, effective and best value for money." lol
new meaning to being screwed by the council.
I am over 50, but the Top Tips confused me
1. Watch a sexy movie with your favourite film star or read an erotic book
Not sure how inviting Clint Eastwood over to watch a scratchy copy of 'Pumping Irene' is going to help
2.Try a new lovemaking position every night for a week and burn 970calories
Missionary lights off, missionary lights on, doggie lights off, doggie lights on. Takes me to Thursday
3.Sex is good for the heart.
Has Dickiebo asked whether the NHS can provide...?
4.Vacuum pumps are available to help with erection problems.
I've heard that they suck.
5. Anyone with a heart condition or high blood pressure should see their doctor before taking viagra
or reach for the pump
6, Buy a sex guide and read it with your partner
or buy a partner
7. You can't tell if someone has a sexually transmitted disease just by looking at them.
I am wondering if you cn catch one from a secondhand pump
8. Women's responsiveness to sex increases with age.
Let's put that to the vote.
9.Women can do pelvic floor exercises to improve their sex lives,
Men, its the pump again
"That's how they got rid of a poxy government in Iceland last year."
I can't see it working here, sadly...
"Excuse me but the stalwart citizens of Manchester might start by stopping voting Labour. "
Never happen!
"1. Watch a sexy movie with your favourite film star or read an erotic book
Not sure how inviting Clint Eastwood over to watch a scratchy copy of 'Pumping Irene' is going to help"
Lol!
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