Sunday, 1 November 2009

Because Not All The NuPuritans Are Over Here...

Dozens of police officers are being deployed to the US city of Boulder, Colorado, to try to prevent a zany annual Halloween tradition.
Sheep decapitation? Mass urination on public highways? Smokers march?

What could possibly need to be stopped at all costs?
Each year, dozens run down the city's snowy streets wearing only trainers and a hollowed-out pumpkin on their heads.
Say what?

Naked pumpkin people? That's it? That's all they do, risk getting frostbitten in unmentionable places? They don't smash windows, assault passers-by, wreck cars?

No. They just have fun. Or rather, this year, they try to:
Officials say they will charge pumpkin-clad runners under the city's law against indecent exposure.

According to the Wall Street Journal, more than 40 officers will be present on the traditional route, with two elite teams of officer patrolling nearby.
Oh, boy. I bet that's a sought-after posting in the Boulder PD:

'Hey, Bob, how's it hanging?'

'Not bad, Chuck, not bad. Hey, I got accepted to that post I interviewed for, the elites, the best of the best!'

'Hey, gratz, man! What was it again? SWAT? Major Crimes?'

'Nope. Pumpkin Run Patrol!'

'Awesome, buddy...'


dickiebo said...

Ha, ha! Says it all, really!

James Higham said...

Well, it's all over now, isn't it?

Fat Hen said...

What a great business opportunity!

Next years bestseller:

Penis pants

(to be clear: that's chaste pants that hide the real thing whilst provinding a decent sized thang, just so that the cold does not minimize the shock.)

:) :) :)

(sorry *cackle*)

Btw, the free Librivox audio book of the month: (enjoy!)

Nick M said...

*Elite* cops chasing after naked people wearing pumpkins.

When does the DVD come out?

Mark Wadsworth said...

That'd be bad enough, but I read an article in yesterday's Times about the Catholics in Spain complaining about Halloween and children dressing up as witches etc and going trick or treating, because, they said, it puts the children at risk [of paedo's, presumably].

So the Catholics, a veritable haven for paedo's is now playing the "it's for the chiiiiildren" card with the rest of them.


blueknight said...

Where do you put the candle?

JuliaM said...

"Where do you put the candle?"

Anywhere it'd keep you warm, I suspect!