Sunday 30 October 2011

Man Bites Dog….No, Really!

A Latchford man has been jailed and banned from owning an animal again after biting his pet Staffordshire bull terrier more than 30 times and attempting to drown it.
*appalled*
Vets and RSPCA inspectors said the monstrous attack was the worst they had ever seen after Mark Helps, of Cross Lane, turned on the dog because his girlfriend would not go to bed with him.
He also assaulted the girlfriend. Of course.
The 31-year-old had been drinking heavily when he punched Vanessa Briggs, aged 20, so hard it knocked her out before biting her nose.
The defence clearly did her best with limited material:
Miriam Sutton, defending, said: “The defendant had consumed so much alcohol his recollection of the evening is very unclear but he has shown some remorse.”
Only ‘some’..?
Judge David Hale sentenced Helps to 20 months.
He’ll probably serve four. If that…

5 comments:

Captain Haddock said...

"Man bites Dog" ..

Was it a Sausage dog ?

Alright, I know where me coat is, thank you .. ;)

Poor Joke Dept said...

When the woman shouted "Not Poodle!" he thought she was saying: "Pot Noodle."

You can see where the confusion came in.

Tattyfalarr said...

On this occasion I'd be happy to have seen the staffy live up to tabloid reputation and rip the bastard's face off.

Ancient + Tattered Airman said...

Had I been the judge he would have received an additional five years under the trades description act for acting unHELPfully to his girl as well as his dog.

JuliaM said...

"On this occasion I'd be happy to have seen the staffy live up to tabloid reputation and rip the bastard's face off."

Me too...