Oh, really? Well, let's look at the details:
The men were eventually brought out of the cafe and arrested at 6am. Mrs Marshall said:
'Apparently they were hungry and wanted some quiche. There was a little bit of money in the till, but I think they just wanted food and then it got out of hand.
'It obviously must be very good quiche.'So, these poor starving fellows broke in for a feast?
'They were in there a long time and they trashed the cafe.'Ah. Guess not.
But perhaps Ally meant a 'desperate story' for the poor bloody cafe owner, who now has to bear the cost of the clean-up and repair while wrangling with the insurance company, all thanks to two drunken, druggie or just hopeless wastes of oxygen?
Yes. I'm quite sure that's what he meant...