Sunday 11 August 2013

This Story Would Be So Much Better If It Had Been Glasgow Zoo...


In fact, I think I feel a song coming on...

"If I could fight with the animals, just imagine it,
Scrappin' with a chimp in chimpanzee,
Imagine tangling with a tiger, wrestling with a cheetah, 
What a neat achievement it would be! 

If we could fight with the animals, learn their countermoves, 
Maybe make an animal dojo, 
I'd grapple elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle, 
Alligator, guinea pig, and flea!" 

With apologies to Rex Harrison, and MacHeath who does this so much better...

10 comments:

Macheath said...

Brilliant! (And thanks for the link - though I'd dispute the statement)

Actually, you may have hit on the next big thing for Saturday night TV - "from the people who brought you 'Strictly X-Factor Find Me a Talented Nancy Boy on Ice', it's 'Celebrity Animal Dojo!'"

Any thoughts about pairings for upcoming bouts?

Macheath said...

PS. May I suggest an amendment to the link so that musically-inclined readers don't have to wade through my interminable prose ramblings?

http://newgatenews.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/song%20parodies

Lynne at Counting Cats said...

No seal of approval for the keeper's actions then.

I'll get my coat...

Fidel Cuntstruck said...

@Macheath

"Any thoughts about pairings for upcoming bouts?"

Oh yes! 630+ for starters, question is ... can we lay our hands on that many savage beasts? It would lend a whole new meaning to the term "Political Gladiators" ;)

Michael said...

Well, at least it wasn't a Walrus. One is fat, ulgy, obese and with massive buck teeth... The other is from Glasgow. I'll get my coat... TTFN ;)

Woman on a Raft said...

They should have taken it to a whale weigh station.

CJ Nerd said...

Rearranging the second verse improves it :
If we could fight with the animals, learn their countermoves,
Maybe make an animal dojo,
I'd grapple elephant and eagle, guinea pig and beagle,
Alligator, flea and buffalo!

MTG said...

Was it only a few million years ago when entertainment based on captive animal violence first brought cave walls down, Julia?

CJ Nerd said...


If I could fight with the animals, Out-manoeuvre them,
That would be the perfect way to go.
I could steal a lion’s dinner,
Or maybe some day win a
Black-Belt in ko-a-la Tae-Kwon-Do!

JuliaM said...

"Actually, you may have hit on the next big thing for Saturday night TV.."

It couldn't be any less watchable that the current lot, could it? And, like Fidel, I've got a little list!

"No seal of approval for the keeper's actions then."

*groans*

"Was it only a few million years ago when entertainment based on captive animal violence first brought cave walls down, Julia?"

Trot over to the continent & you'll find it never went away, MTG...