Sunday, 18 August 2013

Yes, I Know What You're Thinking...

...but it was still in the can!

Yes. Really:
Harry Hadfield, prosecuting, said the victims had stopped on Union Street in the Teesside town to divide bags of shopping on the evening of April 10 when they saw McNicholas, whose nickname is Snapper, and his dog.
Rather makes you wonder what the dog's nickname was, eh?
Mr Hadfield said McNicholas asked the man for a tin of food, but when he refused, McNicholas struck him once over the head with a large stick knocking him to the ground and causing swelling and bruising.
McNicholas then struck the woman over the head splitting her scalp open, the court heard. She needed eight staples in her head to fix the wound, Mr Hadfield said.
Peter Wishlade representing McNicholas, said his client had been throwing the stick for the Alsatian when the other man swore at him, told him to shut up the dog and then threw a can of rice pudding at the animal.
And you thought it was just the punchline to a joke...
The Recorder of York, Judge Stephen Ashurst jailed McNicholas, who has 43 convictions for 104 offences, for nine months for the ABH assault and 15 months for the wounding to be served concurrently.
Ah. There's this one's punchline.

H/T: Anna Raccoon via email


Fidel Cuntstruck said...

Ahhh ... The 'Burrah ... a particularly unsalubrious place as a quick google of the street mentioned will no doubt demonstrate.

Home to the the Smogmonster, or Smoggie for short, as the locals are affectionately known and a centre of Haute Couture for the white tracksuit, the grubby Reebok (or Nike if yer minted) and the place to experience the "Parmo" - a peculiarly disgusting dish consisting of meat or chicken smothered in what is alleged to be Parmesan cheese then melted down so it adheres to the plate as the waitress cum sumo-wrestler sashays across the cafe with it and bangs it down in front of you with a look of "you fuckin dare complain" on her battered face.

So why did the bloke throw a full can of rice pudding at the dog?, well, there's a strange kind of logic there I think. It's a hefty and effective missile if aimed accurately with the added bonus of still being usable after the altercation, I mean, if he'd thrown something edible then the mutt would have eaten it - so credit where credit's due I think :0)

JuliaM said...

It's clearly vying with Mos Eisley for the 'Wretched Hive Of Scum And Villainy' title...