Thursday, 10 November 2011

A Picture’s Worth A Thousand Words…

..and the appropriate words for this case are ‘Throw the book at ‘em!’:

John Nesbitt, 62, and Linda Jones, 51, hurled their four year old terrier dog called Jess into the sea from a slipway at Exmouth, Devon.

Jess narrowly missed smacking her head and feet on the concrete just below the surface of the sea as she twisted in the air. She was thrown in at least four times.
Luckily, a guy taking photographs captured the whole thing, giving these ‘Deliverance’ extras very little wiggle room…
Jones and Nesbitt, both from Exmouth, Devon, were convicted of a charge of causing unnecessary suffering to an animal. The couple claimed they were just trying to keep their pet cool during a hot day in April.
Such a hot day, the two inbreds can clearly be seen wearing massive coats.

Prosecutor Clifford Howard said: ‘Both of them accepted that the dog called Jess was thrown into the sea by them. However they claimed they were cooling her down because she was hot.’

Mr Howard said beneath the water was a concrete slipway but said the couple would not know how shallow the water was at the point and where the solid concrete was under the sea.

Really? You mean, they couldn’t possibly extrapolate that from the angle of the sloping causewa…

*looks again at pictures*

Ah, fair one. Probably not. They look like they have trouble with any reasoning task you might expect a higher primate to manage.
Jones told the magistrates: ‘I am so angry. I know the sea like the back of my hand. I just want my baby back.’
Thank god you didn’t mean that literally!
Jones told police in her interview: ‘I did not throw the dog in the water, Mr Nesbitt did. I could not have thrown her into the sea, I couldn't pick her up, she is too heavy to throw into the sea.

‘She was just going in for a swim - to wetten her.’
Errrr, but the pictures..?
But later she admitted: ‘I did throw her into the sea’ but said she 'plopped' her in.
Jones said: ‘All my dogs go into the sea. The water was clear, it was not dangerous. It was a lovely hot day in April. I would gladly do it again. ’
Heh! The prosecution didn’t need to work overtime on this one, did they?

Mind you, nor did the defence:
Defence lawyer Jeremy Tricks did not call either defendant to give evidence.
I’m really not surprised…


Curmudgeon said...

Look at the guy just sitting there reading a book!

Angry Exile said...

Lot of this going around at the moment. Take it you heard about Mowgli the cat? Bastards. Ebola would be about right if it wasn't something they could give to someone else.

Ranter said...

@curmudgeon - that was the first thought that popped into my head when I had read the article and seen the photos. he was probably a tourist, over from the continent and thought it was a quaint old Devonshire spring custom or maybe he misinterpreted the yelps of distress the canine equivalent of delight at constantly being flung into the sea again and again and again! Oooh-aaaaaarrrrr!

Captain Haddock said...

" .. the defence: Defence lawyer Jeremy Tricks .. "

How totally apt ...

James Higham said...

Trouble is, the jails are already overcrowded.

MTG said...

Unless they were 'mind your head on the concrete' custody sergeants in civvies, it beggars belief.

MTG said...

* sargents*

staybryte said...

"All my dogs go into the sea"

Is that some kind of euphemism?

JuliaM said...

"Look at the guy just sitting there reading a book!"

I know, I can hardly believe it!

"Take it you heard about Mowgli the cat?"

Yup, there's a man who is in dire need of a proctology exam. With a chainsaw.

"Trouble is, the jails are already overcrowded."

Oh, they won't serve any jail time. I'd rather see them do community service anyway.

They can help the police train their dogs. Without any padding... ;)

"Is that some kind of euphemism?"


Anonymous said...

Well done Melvin,you managed to turn this post about hillbillies hurting a dog into another anti-police dig.I salute your persistence.