Friday, 25 November 2011

Spot The Connection!

Giant plant blooms:
The plant, also called titan arum, but popularly known as the corpse flower, blooms only a few times in its 40-year life span, and the bloom lasts for two and a half days at the most. During the first eight hours, the bloom emits a scent that has been variously described as similar to that of rotting eggs, a dead elephant, an outhouse in sweltering heat—and worse.
Traffic warden caught short:
An NSL spokesman said: 'He's not actually peeing, he had a bottle of water and he's sprayed it on the wall as he walked along'.
Porsche driver feels life's a drag:
The 33-year-old Worthing man’s solicitor said his client was driving down a country road on his way home from London.

He added: “The dog had got loose that afternoon while it was being taken for a walk and was in the middle of the road.

“It was wearing a leash which extended several metres in length.

“While he was driving past the leash became entangled in the exhaust system of the vehicle, dragging the dog behind him.

“The driver was completely unaware of what had happened.

"He stopped to check his car several times because he heard a sound and thought there might be something wrong with his brakes.

"However he did not see the animal behind him.

“He went to the car park near Devil’s Dyke because he wanted to use the toilet at a nearby pub.

"He turned round in the car park and drove on.

“Eventually the driver stopped at the lay-by by Southwick Tunnel because people had been flashing and hooting at him.

He untied the animal, but did not even realise it was a dog. He was so shocked by it he drove away.

“My client is a dog lover and is completely devastated by what has happened.”
Did you spot the connection?

Yeah, that's right. They all stink to high heaven...

6 comments:

Woman on a Raft said...

He's not peeing. He's marking his territory.

Wonder if David Attenborough will be narrating the wildlife doco: The Kingdom of the Iced Beer.

JuliaM said...

SNORK!

Captain Haddock said...

@ WOAR ..

Brilliant .. I nominate that as comment of the year .. ;)

Tattyfalarr said...

From the dog story: Forensic experts seized the Porsche and are currently analysing it to try and see if the dog could have become accidentally tangled in the engine.

I think the bastard is lying. Get Grissom on the case !

(I recently did an entire series CSIathon...have eyes like pee-holes -.-)

Chalcedon said...

The bastard in the Porche did it deliberately. the cops think he had a domestic dispute. Bastard!

JuliaM said...

"I think the bastard is lying. Get Grissom on the case !"

Heh! But please, not Horatio!

"The bastard in the Porche did it deliberately. the cops think he had a domestic dispute."

That was the initial report, yes, but I can't see where that came from, and the police seem to have dropped that line of enquiry since there seems to be no connection to the dog (and the last report said that the owners were unaware of what had happened).

I'm sure it'll all come out at the trial. There'll have to be a trial.

Won't there?