“It held me prisoner in my own property.“Frankly, that's the sort of hysteria you expect from a 'Guardian' reading New Man, not a 53 year old dock worker from Canvey Island!
“My wife, Christine, even threw a pan of water at it. She is terrified.
“I couldn’t get any closer than four feet to it. What happens if it bites me?“What, from four feet away?
Mr Tappin, who works at Tilbury Docks, was unable to go to work while he tried to sort the problem./facepalm