Monday 8 March 2010

Jan Moir: License To Kill Inflame

Not content with lighting the blue touchpaper and standing well back over Stephen Gately, she's decided to take on an even bigger identity group this time.

It's the Earth Mother in the firing line:
Yet this small incident has been the starting gun for a blast of instant maternal affront and Curse Of The Mummy-style fury. Emphasising once more that it takes a brave man - or woman - to get between the modern young mother and her perceived statutory rights.

These include, as if we all didn't know, the right to mow you down with a buggy if you don't get out of the way quickly enough; the right to behave as if they have just given birth to the second coming of Christ instead of a farty little squirt called Sam; the right to congregate en masse all day in the best coffee shop seats, sharing a single latte and a blueberry muffin between six; the right to sigh like a tornado when their Hummer-sized pram cuts your heel to the bone; and the general and overreaching right to behave as if the normal rules of polite society do not apply to them.
Oh, dear...
Whatever happened to make mums so angry all the time? Previous generations managed perfectly well without the need to breast-feed in public. Yet the National Childbirth Trust is waging a campaign to make it illegal to stop women from breast-feeding in shops and restaurants in the UK.

Well, I do hope it fails. Yes, most of us want to be kind to starving infants, if not their bolshie mums. But surely it should be up to individual owners to decide what does and does not happen on their premises?
Indeed it should. Welcome to the concept of property rights, Jan!
Personally, I don't mind breast-feeding, but I mind that others do. And I mind that their objections are increasingly steamrollered by the righteous motherhood. Why should society, bus passengers and charity shop managers be terrorised by militant mothers determined to give junior his num-nums whatever the circumstances?
I can't help thinking the fightback this time is going to be twice as vicious...

7 comments:

Brian, follower of Deornoth said...

I've also observed that motherhood makes one unable to manage three-point turns.r

Anonymous said...

I recognise some of the buggy and pram behaviour mentioned, one omitted is the group chinwag which involves 3 or more mums with pram or buggy plus walking toddlers in tow stopping in the middle of the pavement and occupying it all, thus forcing everyone else to step off the pavement and into the road to get around them, with this even being inflicted on other mums pushing prams and buggies - when that happens "mum solidarity" is frequently replaced with "quite sharp and sometimes rude words" being exchanged.

But that aside, Jan Moir is basically an addle-brained waste of space? Oh yes ...

HeartAttackSurvivor said...

Brian, it's not motherhood, it's a simple Y-chromosome deficiency that does it.

wv: colica. Singularly appropriate.

blueknight said...

Breast feeding is natural, but so is farting. One shouldn't do either in situations where it is likely to cause offence.

Foxy Brown said...

Hell, in the JP Sartre sense, is the offspring of the "yummy mummy" class.

Anonymous said...

Jan Moir is the angry one. That miserable pug of hers would curdle milk of any variety.

There is a lot of resentment against people who have the temerity to pro-create.

Why doesn't Moir fuck off to join those human-hating Greenpeace scumbags.

JuliaM said...

"I've also observed that motherhood makes one unable to manage three-point turns."

No, as HAS points out, it's not just motherhood. I'm not too hot at that either!

"But that aside, Jan Moir is basically an addle-brained waste of space? Oh yes ..."

Indeed. But even a stopped clock...

"One shouldn't do either in situations where it is likely to cause offence."

Ah, but that doesn't fit in with today's 'I know my rights!' generation...

"Hell, in the JP Sartre sense, is the offspring of the "yummy mummy" class."

And especially when they grow up...

"There is a lot of resentment against people who have the temerity to pro-create. "

No, not really, people with well-behaved, well-grounded children are no problem. It's today's selfish 'My child is a prodigy, how dare you deny their every whim!' attitude that causes the problem.