I could tell you once more about the lot of the poor asylum seeker in our country – sing that plaintive folk song again and again until the voice cracks...Yes, it's that old classic "Why Is The UK So Beastly To Immigrants?" again...
...the tragedy of Serge and Tatiana Serykh and their son, Russians temporarily housed in a tower block in Glasgow where others like them were kept, people who left their own lands and found no acceptance in ours...We should have immediately let them stay, you see, despite them having no right to claim asylum, because...well, Yazza doesn't say why, exactly.
It's not like we really have such a shortage of home-grown lunatics that we really need to import the exotic foreign type, is it?
But she's still singing those pro-asylum seeker blues:
The women at one immigration removal centre, Yarls Wood, are on hunger strike and complain about racial and physical abuse. Donkeys in sanctuaries can raise more sympathy than do these caged humans. A Swiftian thought – maybe we should turn the enclosures into zoos, label the countries the inmates come from, watch them feed and fight, maybe on a good day attack their guards.Beg pardon?
Has the Yazzmonster finally taken leave of her senses? Is she seriously suggesting that violent disorder (to the tune of £38 million) in detention centres is a good thing?
And why, other than the obvious, is she so keen on open borders?
Well, how else is a wealthy columnist supposed to feast on a wide range of exotic delights while out and about in the capital?
On Saturday night we popped into a small, unlicensed Vietnamese eatery on Kingsland Road in the East End. It was buzzing with arty young things. The young waiters were delightful, the food – which cost a tenner each – was fabulous...That's just peachy, Yasmin. How could we think of denying you your Vietnamese meal and wonderful Turkish coffee?
...Walking to the car we saw a new coffee house, The Bridge, and went in. I suddenly wanted a Turkish coffee. Ricco, the owner, in the middle of serving up lattes and cappuccinos, immediately set to, lit a small primus stove and started making me some.
If it irretrievably changes the look and culture of our high streets, and forces up house prices, and restricts job opportunities and demands for basic services, why, that's a small price to pay, isn't it?
After all, only good ever came from immigration or asylum, right?
Just a cursory think through exiles made good gives one hope and should give the authorities some doubts about their draconian policies. The conductor Sir Georg Solti would not have flourished if his family had not been able to flee Hungary and find a home here. Jung Chang, the writer of the wonderful Wild Swans, found her voice once she knew she was safe in our country.Some impressive names there.
Sadly for Yasmin, there are other names to hang on immigration and asylum policy:
Mauro Patrice Lopes
So it's not all bún chả and kahve, is it, Yaz?