Sunday, 28 March 2010

The Value Of School Inspections...

The number of independent schools judged to have breeched minimum standards set by the Government has trebled, new figures have revealed.
Oooh! Sounds bad.

Well, until you read what those standards actually were:
  • Volunteers have not been CRB checked, even thought this is not a requirement for state schools.
  • The school has carried out all necessary CRB checks but the information has been stored separately rather than on "a single central record".
  • There was low water pressure in a shower in one boarding house.
  • Parents were not made aware that they can request sight of a copy of the school's plan to meet the requirements of the Disability Discrimination Act 2002.
And this one has to be my personal favourite:
  • Children have "not been taught how to play appropriately" because at break and lunchtimes they "often run around the small area shouting and letting off steam".
It's like something out of 'Monty Python'...

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Education Correspondent of the Telegraph
"The number of independent schools judged to have breeched minimum..."
and
"...a breech of child protection rules."

Witterings From Witney said...

So a school breaches minimum standards of regulations with low water pressure and a government breaches minimum standards of morality by denying us a promised referendum - which is the more guilty?

Ans: The school, as government don't have minimum standards of morality.

Pavlov's Cat said...

I liked
"Behaviour management", while exemplary , was not explicitly stated in the school policy.

That's because surely it's fundamental and should not need to be explicitly stated You cretinous jobsworths.

Antisthenes said...

When the good get gooder (I know it should be better but it does not rhyme) then the evil get eviler.

Dave H said...

As anon said, 'breeched' means 'wearing trousers.'

NickM said...

'Children have "not been taught how to play appropriately" because at break and lunchtimes they "often run around the small area shouting and letting off steam".'

Oh dear sweet... I dunno. We really are through the looking glass aren't we?

microdave said...

They like using the word "Appropriate" and variations, don't they.

They let the kids do what kids have always done - climb up trees, for instance. Then refuse to help them down, in case it leads to litigation. When a concerned parent climbs over the (locked - why?) gate and helps, she is accused of entering the school grounds inappropriately....

Witterings From Witney said...

md - my local primary school is key-pad locked.

You must know by now that we have to protect the children..........

JuliaM said...

"Education Correspondent of the Telegraph.."

That Aussie proofreading doing a bang-up job again...

"That's because surely it's fundamental and should not need to be explicitly stated You cretinous jobsworths."

There's so much /facepalm material in this report I nearly tagged it with 'humour'!

"We really are through the looking glass aren't we?"

Yup! Can't see it changing in a hurry, either...

John R said...

and all of this funded to excess by the hard pressed taxpayer...splendid.

Bessie said...

'Children have "not been taught how to play appropriately" because at break and lunchtimes they "often run around the small area shouting and letting off steam".'

Marvellous. My kids' church-based playgroup was OFSTED-inspected a few years ago. The eminently sensible 60-ish woman who ran the group told me, in bewilderment, that the inspector had taken her to task over the fact that there were no girls playing with the train set. What on earth was she supposed to do? Haul a few girls over from the home corner and force them to play with trains?

Weekend Yachtsman said...

It's like something out of Monty Python - except this is real.

It is part of the pressure being ramped up on the independent sector (the Charities Commission is another part), designed so that in the end they find life intolerable, and give up.

The people doing this are deadly serious, they know what they want and they are not smiling.

Neither should we be. It is not a joke.

microdave said...

@ WFW - Yes, I was joking....

Funny that the kids must be protected from us (even other parents), yet once they leave the premises they can do what the hell they like.

I vaguely remember being told that as long as I was travelling in school uniform I was representing the school, and was expected to behave accordingly.