Saturday, 27 March 2010

I'll Save You The Trouble, Shall I?

It's because you are a pack of bumbling incompetents who couldn't find your own anuses with both hands and a torch:
The UK Border Agency is to launch an inquiry into how Benmakhlouf, who has 12 aliases, was able to make a mockery of Britain's border controls yet again.
Can anyone honestly claim to be surprised by this? Anyone? Bueller?
The 28-year-old, was first thrown out in July 2007 when, while serving a three-and-a-half year prison sentence for theft, he was given £3,000 by the Government to be released early and fly home to his native Algeria.
That went well, eh..?
But 24 hours later he returned to London on Eurostar to continue his extraordinary crime wave.

Benmakhlouf was re-arrested in April 2008 and jailed for three years the following month after admitting two thefts and asking for five similar offences to be taken into consideration.

But he was released last March after serving just a third of his sentence and flown home again at taxpayers' expense.
Ah. The good old taxpayer. The ones he was robbing personally, rather than getting the government to do it for him...
A UK Border Agency spokesperson said: 'We will look to remove this individual as soon as the judicial process is concluded. Those who come to the UK and break the rules will not be tolerated.'
They won't be kept out, either, it seems.

Shall we reserve him a seat now, for his next trip?

9 comments:

ranter said...

Have an enquiry? Busy doing nothing? Laughable? No, simply depressing.

Sue said...

This is just typical. I actually know East Europeans (Romanians) that have fake Irish Passports that they regularly use. No word of a lie... that's how easy the Border Police are fooled.

Edwin Greenwood said...

"...a pack of bumbling incompetents who couldn't find your own anuses with both hands and a torch..."

A disquieting allusion, Julia. I find myself speculating on how they might deploy the torch.

wv: shisall

Hmm, I'm sure that would make quite a good expletive, or perhaps it's one of the less well-known Yiddish terms for an idiot.

DerekP said...

Spend our taxes:
- keeping him in a cushy UK prison
- bribing him to leave the uk
. paying window-lickers to find out why he would repeat this?

Wouldn't we be better off paying Algeria to serve his full sentence in their prisons as soon as he was found guilty?

That way he goes straight there and into prison - no option to come straight back. If he gets out we stop paying Algeria.

Of course we'd need some means of monitoring to make sure he stayed in prison. Something along the lines of Big Brother perhaps?

This won't happen though - he's more likely to become an MP.

MTG said...

If we placed you in charge of border control JuliaM, you would stop such repetitions by doing precisely - what?

Kevin B said...

"...two thefts and asking for five similar offences to be taken into consideration...."

So, do that in a few Arab countreys I've been in and he wouldn't have many limbs left.

Mind you, they didn't have much crime.

John Pickworth said...

I've just had a thought. I once kicked a football and broke a window. Do you think I should fess up to the Border Agency and ask them to deport me?

St Lucia would be nice but I'd settle for the Seychelles.

JuliaM said...

"Wouldn't we be better off paying Algeria to serve his full sentence in their prisons as soon as he was found guilty? "

Wouldn't we be better off paying Algeria to see that he has an unfortunate accident while in jail there?

"If we placed you in charge of border control JuliaM, you would stop such repetitions by doing precisely - what?"

See above... ;)

nbc said...

In response to MTG, here's what I'd do...

For starters I'd make sure that entry points were properly manned at all times and with staff that could actually give a f*ck.

I'd also ensure that they were polite to travellers and had enough basic manners not to swear in response to the question "Good book is it?"

I'm irritated that the French (for example) can manage to be polite and helpful whereas UKBA are just gits.

wv: nativer