A bungled burglary saw a young man killed when his friend shot him in the head.Worry ye not, fair reader! This wasn’t some awful ‘burglary gone wrong’ story!
At least, not for the fortunate householder (and, we must assume, for wider society too):
Jonathan Barnes died last Thursday, two days after he was shot at a house in Morland Road, Croydon.
It is believed the 20-year-old from Lewisham, had gone with a friend to rob the house after being told expensive watches, thought to be Rolexes, were being kept there.
While in the property the pair were disturbed by the return of one of the occupants.
An argument ensued and Mr Barnes' companion pulled out a gun and during the struggle, mistakenly shot his friend before fleeing the scene.Ahahahahahahahahahahahahah……
*pauses for breath*
…..hahahahahahahahahahaha!
*wipes away tears of mirth*
Jonathan Barnes who is related to UK rap artist Pound Sterling, was also known as 'Change' and had featured in some of the rappers Youtube videos.
Tributes have flooded a Facebook page set up in memory of the talented musician, who was just weeks away from his 21st birthday when he died.Oh, my! This’ll be good!
Writing on social networking site Facebook, Diane Louise wrote: "RIP Jonathan, never going to forget your cheeky smile. I feel honoured to have known you from school. Sleep tight honey, lots of love."‘Honoured’ to have known a burglar?
Tuan Bonero wrote: "Rest in Peace Jonathan Change Barnes, the heavens newest recruit. God rest your soul."Don’t think he’ll be going to heaven, if I remember my theology…
Tiffany Bennett added: "You were kind hearted, something I experienced first hand and your smile was unique, those memories will remain. RIP Jonathan."So kind, the way you tried to help yourself to some other guy’s stuff.
Still, assuming the ‘Croydon Guardian’ hasn’t run a spellcheck over the comments before publication, at least they are refreshingly free of the usual wordmush…
17 comments:
So a black burglar died and it's not the police's fault? What will MTG et al say?
Where are the riots?
Jaded
A deliciously ironic exit worthy of a Darwin Award.
Heh
"Hahahahahahahahahahaha"!
Indeed ...
I doubt there will be any riots as a result of one "blud" shooting another "blud" ..
But I wouldn't be in the least surprised to see a compensation claim made against the lawful housholder .. for being so inconsiderate as to return home, mid burglary ..
I'd like to see the facebook tribute from the scrote who pulled the trigger.
Maybe... "Sorry, mate, should have been a better aim. wasn't meant for you and your cheeky smile. I promise I will try better next time when I go taking something that isn't mine and carrying a gun. By the way, there weren't any good watches there. Guess I'll have to wait for the next riot to get one inscribed to your memory. Your ever loving friend..."
Excellent post Bang-bang but he won't be posting for a while as he's been caught.No doubt his mates will be setting a facebook innocence page on his behalf.
Jaded
"Don’t think he’ll be going to heaven, if I remember my theology…"
According to Dante he'll end up in the 7th Bolgia of the Eighth Circle:
"The thieves are pursued and bitten by snakes and lizards. The full horror of the thieves' punishment is revealed gradually: just as they stole other people's substance in life, their very identity becomes subject to theft here,[43] and the snake bites make them undergo various transformations. Vanni Fucci is turned to ashes and resurrected. Agnello is blended with the six-legged reptile that is Cianfa. Buoso exchanges shapes with the four-legged Francesco: "The soul that had become an animal, / now hissing, hurried off along the valley; / the other one, behind him, speaks and spits."
What a great story - good news for a change. Let's have more dead burglars please!
A few years ago a colleague attended the scene of a reported burglary at a very posh top floor mansion flat in Chelsea. The victims were Arabs and the flat had a marvellously ostentatious decor likened to a tarts boudoir. Checking for points of entry and exit an officer looked out of a window and down into the internal well area in the middle of the block and saw the prostrate figure of a black male on the ground - legz akimbo - and surrounded by lots of shiny things.
Further investigation showed he had socks on both hands, presumably he forgot to bring his gloves and while exiting onto the roof from a window had slipped or missed his footing and fallen to his death. Marvellous! The shiny things were a load of jewels and gold, spilling forth from his pockets. The officers were pleased as were the arab victims. one dead burglar, case closed, crime detected and a big saving on legal fees and court time and then keeping the scumbag at HM pleasure - if he ever got a prison sentence.
Enter shiny new Det Chief Inspector, fully chipped and pinned who did not share the joy of every one else. The dead burglar was a well know burglar out of Peckham with a rap sheet as long as both arms and both legs. The officers had to treat the dead burglar's family as VICTIMS and one was a diplomat of sorts at a Caribbean embassy or consulate. it was unbelievable but just after the MacPherson report so understandable among the terminally ambitious senior officers. Lots of police resources tied up counselling the dead burglars family and running them around in police cars, a GOLD group set up in case anyone criticised the police for not dealing with BLACK people properly etc etc.
Daniel Tesfay has been arrested and charged with the murder of Jonathan Barnes.
http://www.croydonguardian.co.uk/news/9231654.Man_charged_with_Croydon_murder/?ref=mr
Leaving aside the issue of whether this is or is not the correct defendant which must be established first, it will be interesting to see if that charge eventually stands of it it is downrated because murder requires the demonstration of a very high level of intentionality.
There could be an old doctrine due for a revival, that of transferred malice where you are aiming to damage one person but it goes wrong and someone else gets hurt.
The defence argues that this means the level of intentionality is not met while the prosecution argues that the malice transfers with the act. The doctrine has never entirely gone away but it is supposed to be reserved for a narrow range of cases as it is capable of disrupting the legal definition of a person.
Due to charges being in play it isn't possible to wonder much else, but I do hope that which ever way it goes, the CPS put out a press release on their thinking as this is a puzzle case.
Ranter - "while exiting onto the roof from a window had slipped or missed his footing and fallen to his death....yer honour.
;)
I am truly amazed, Jaded.
A selfish amazement which could not be dulled were every day teeming with such news, dear.
Oh, and I trust you had a rejuvenating break, J?
Here's hoping you remembered to put sun cream on the soles of your feet, this time.
That and it's... Freddie Mercury day!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY0WxgSXdEE&ob=av3e
WOAR: there are still jurisdictions in the US where something like this would be classed as 'felony murder', i,e, a homicide incurred in the course of committing a felony.
A pound to a penny that the scrote who pulled the trigger won't serve as long as Tony Martin.
Any takers?
"Don’t think he’ll be going to heaven, if I remember my theology…"
Nah....he'll be going here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_hcO4N7hM0
"Where are the riots?"
Sadly, Capt Haddock is right - there won't be any this time.
"A deliciously ironic exit worthy of a Darwin Award."
Indeed! More please, faster.
"I'd like to see the facebook tribute from the scrote who pulled the trigger."
Well, he'll probably still have access to it behind bars. It's his 'uman rights...
"According to Dante he'll end up in the 7th Bolgia of the Eighth Circle..."
Ahh, yes!
" The officers had to treat the dead burglar's family as VICTIMS..."
GAH!
"...it will be interesting to see if that charge eventually stands of it it is downrated because murder requires the demonstration of a very high level of intentionality. "
Well, quite! Unless it's a bargaining chip?
"That and it's... Freddie Mercury day!"
Indeed!
"A pound to a penny that the scrote who pulled the trigger won't serve as long as Tony Martin. "
I rather suspect you're right. Will be interesting to see if he has a long record, though.
"Nah....he'll be going here"
Splendid!
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