Tuesday 2 August 2011

Oooooh, That Heart Of Stone Is Getting A Workout Again…

…. Nope, it’s no good. Bwahahahahahaha!
A pub landlady who put up handwritten ‘No Smoking’ posters while waiting for official signs to arrive has been taken to court and ordered to pay nearly £300.
*wipes away tears of mirth*
Inspectors who visited Dawn Lemm’s pub – the Judge and Jury in Colwyn Bay, North Wales – discovered she had violated regulations which decree that No Smoking signs must be rectangular with the shortest side at least 6.3in long.

Nor did her posters bear ‘a graphic representation of a burning cigarette enclosed in a red circle with a red bar which crosses the cigarette symbol’.
Shock, horror! No-one could possibly understand them then!
Miss Lemm, 39, was given a £150 fixed penalty which she declined to pay.

At Llandudno magistrates court she admitted failing to ensure proper signs were displayed and was fined £150 with £120 costs and £15 victims’ surcharge.
Oh, dear oh dear oh dear…

And all because you couldn’t wait to do the Smoking Gestapo’s job for them, Dawn. Did you think they’d be grateful? Did you think they wouldn’t turn on you, if the opportunity presented itself?
Last night she called the decision ‘ridiculous’.
It’s ‘ridiculous’ to think you can appease these people and not suffer any unfortunate mishaps yourself…

13 comments:

Captain Haddock said...

"Oh dear .. How sad .. Never mind"

(in best Windsor Davies voice) ..

Curmudgeon said...

Why are these signs needed anyway, when it is illegal to smoke in any indoor public place? Disgusting law, IMV, but that's another matter. It's also illegal to murder people in a pub, but you don't have to have "No Murdering" signs.

SBC said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
....oh dear I think I'm to have an apoplexy! No fucking sympathy whatsofucking ever!

Furor Teutonicus said...

Her bloody defence solicitor needs shooting with a nicotine coated .357. What the FUCK was he thinking of to let the cow get found guilty and fined?

The defence was in her own bloody hands, the council, or who ever had NOT SUPPLIED THE OFFICIAL SIGNS. How fucking EASY is it to defend THAT case?

UNLESS; of course, she defended herself, in which case....

SBC said...

Furor, I'm pretty sure that Publicans had to supply their own signs not the council. When it says 'she was waiting for the official' ones it means she was waiting for the ones she had ordered that conformed to the legal guidelines.

Or am I wrong?

Furor Teutonicus said...

SBC. Even so, she had made the effort. Would she have been fined more, or less, or whatever, if she had just not bothered?

As I say, easy enough to defend for a half compitent first year law student. Let alone a practicing defence solicitor....one would have thought.

SBC said...

Furor, I'm afraid such 'crimes' are what are known as 'absolute offences' ie she didn't have the correct signage and therefore she is guilty. The fact she tried her best to comply with their spiteful little law just mitigates and means , at best,she gets a smaller fine.

Even if the were the council's job to supply the signs and hadn't, that'd be no defence.

Pavlov's Cat said...

‘a graphic representation of a burning cigarette

surely it should be a 'representational graphic' or 'a graphic representing a' the other conjures up quite alarming images.

No-one could possibly understand them then!

Two points you need to consider , the current mouth breathers exiting our education system and the fact that it is Wales

Fags of our fathers said...

Oh woe is me. I did everything I could to follow the rules and be a good EU citizen. I went that extra distance to make the Controllers happy, and yet they weren't...

I am at a loss what more I can do to toe the line and bend my knee to the great and good laws that we must all obey.

WV= excupsis = latin meaning: your excuse for not following orders exactly will never be enough.

Angry Exile said...

FT, I know someone in the UK who had to declare his non-smoking premises Officially Non-Smoking, and one of the things he was bitching about was that the signs he'd had up for years that said 'Thank you for not smoking' or whatever, and which did the fucking job perfectly well since nobody smoked in there, all had to be replaced at his expense. They were only no smoking signs, you see, not Official No Smoking signs. He also told me that for not changing to signs which are Official the maximum fine was £1,000 (or something in that area). Just fucking mind blowing

Anonymous said...

I worked on London Underground stations when it came in; the Underground had already been non-smoking for a long time by this point. I was at Turnpike Lane when they were in the process of removing them; not only were the new ones smaller, we actually ended up with fewer than we'd originally had... And we couldn't keep the old ones even as a supplement to the new 'official' ones.

Vote never said...

Sorry, remind me again why we vote for these lunatics?

JuliaM said...

"Why are these signs needed anyway..."

So that the purse-lipped, pinch-faced complainers have something to point at?

"Or am I wrong?"

Nope, that's how I read it too.

"Two points you need to consider , the current mouth breathers exiting our education system and the fact that it is Wales"

True.. ;)

"...not only were the new ones smaller, we actually ended up with fewer than we'd originally had... And we couldn't keep the old ones even as a supplement to the new 'official' ones."

I smell the meddling hand of the EU in that...