Oooooh, That Heart Of Stone Is Getting A Workout Again…

…. Nope, it’s no good. Bwahahahahahaha!

A pub landlady who put up handwritten ‘No Smoking’ posters while waiting for official signs to arrive has been taken to court and ordered to pay nearly £300.

*wipes away tears of mirth*

Inspectors who visited Dawn Lemm’s pub – the Judge and Jury in Colwyn Bay, North Wales – discovered she had violated regulations which decree that No Smoking signs must be rectangular with the shortest side at least 6.3in long.

Nor did her posters bear ‘a graphic representation of a burning cigarette enclosed in a red circle with a red bar which crosses the cigarette symbol’.

Shock, horror! No-one could possibly understand them then!

Miss Lemm, 39, was given a £150 fixed penalty which she declined to pay.

At Llandudno magistrates court she admitted failing to ensure proper signs were displayed and was fined £150 with £120 costs and £15 victims’ surcharge.

Oh, dear oh dear oh dear…

And all because you couldn’t wait to do the Smoking Gestapo’s job for them, Dawn. Did you think they’d be grateful? Did you think they wouldn’t turn on you, if the opportunity presented itself?

Last night she called the decision ‘ridiculous’.

It’s ‘ridiculous’ to think you can appease these people and not suffer any unfortunate mishaps yourself…