Thursday 11 November 2010

‘For The Chiiiilllldreeeen!’ - Bumper ‘Ban It Now!’ Edition

First up, Chinese lanterns:
Cael Jones and his family were gazing skywards as the paper lanterns drifted into the air, only for the freak accident to leave him with appalling burns.

As his parents yesterday waited to find out whether he had suffered permanent damage, they called for the lanterns to be banned.
Well, of course they did!

I wonder, though, if it had been some other little kiddie looking skyward when the tiny flying incendiary device tipped up, if they’d be quite so concerned?
Calling for a ban on the lanterns, Cael’s mother said: ‘I want people to realise how dangerous they are.’
Her partner, Terry Williams, 24, who is unemployed, added: ‘These lanterns shouldn’t be on the shelf if they’re not safe.
‘Save me, BigGov! I’m too stupid to figure out on my own that setting fire to oil to be carried aloft might be unwise!’….

If only the manufacturers had put some sort of warni…

Ah:
Manufacturers say they should not be released by children and warn people not to stand beneath them immediately after they are lit as melting wax may drip off.
Not good enough! We’ve raised a generation that can’t or won’t read. And one that thinks if they have an unfortunate mishap as a result of this, the offending object must be removed from existence.

Now, window blinds:
Mother Joy Edwards has been left 'devastated' and hopes that window blinds are banned in Britain - as they are in many other countries - for the safety of other children.
Yes, it’s another child strangled by window blind cords…
Mrs Edwards believes that no one should be allowed blinds in their house
That’s right. Even if you don’t have children, don’t want children, never invite children to your house, you can’t have window blinds with cords. Ever.
…and said: 'Apparently in America they are banned so hopefully that is something that will happen here too.

'We did tie [the blinds] up, but not all the time. I 'd just urge people to make sure they tie them up and to always be wary.'
So, you were aware of the danger? But never thought to, say, change the blinds?
In May, Andrew Haigh, a coroner for South Staffordshire, urged the Government to look again at existing safety regulations after two two toddlers strangled themselves within five days of each other…'The frequency of deaths of this kind is more of a problem than we would anticipate or expect,' Mr Haigh, who also presided over an inquest into a child killed by a blind cord in 2004, said.

'Is there any way to more strictly enforce the existing British standard as to what should happen with blind cords?

'If not, the next step is to ban looped blind cords completely. 'I feel very sorry for both sets of parents in these cases and in the similar previous case as well.

'They were in perfectly pleasant homes with responsible mothers and this risk just was not envisaged at all. The children were left in circumstances that appeared to be safe.'
You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more ghastly statement from a court official, have you?

In essence, his comment boils down to ‘Gosh! Awful accidents happen to nice people too, not the usual ignorant uncaring underclass sluts that usually cross my desk! This cannot stand, the government must act forwith!’

But we cannot eliminate all risk. I’ll bet a pound to a penny that these blinds carry the same kind of warning as the lights, that they should be used responsibly and if misused, or used around those unable to comprehend the danger, it’s the responsibility of the owner.

Indeed, Joy Edwards seems to have been aware of that herself, by her own admission. Mummylonglegs picks up on this too, as do several of the 'Mail' commenters.

Yet she still wants government to do something about it. As does little Cael’s mother. So the infantilisation of the population marches on apace….

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

or the teacher who sued for a hurty neck because she ‘HAD TO’ shout a lot in class. £150K FFS, stop shouting! stop teaching! start smashing your face into a brick wall and try to sue the builder, because that would make me laugh

Dick Puddlecote said...

Off to buy some chinese laneterns and blinds now - I laugh in the face of danger. Mwahahahaha.

KenS said...

I wonder when the call will go up to ban water in homes. Children can drown in that you know. And stairs: children can fall down those you know. And food: children can choke on that you know. And concrete paths: children can graze their knees on that you know. And...and...and...

Demon said...

There are times when I really do despair about the general level of intelligence in this country.
If we could only rely on Darwinism to call a halt to these total idiots breeding and inflicting even more offspring from the shallow end of the gene pool on the long suffering general public then it would not be so bad, we could just tune out these idiots.
However, we are being outbred by these cretins.
At times like this I just want to leave, but where the hell to go?

RAB said...

I'm thinking of starting Nursery for the children of parents who rather regret having them.

We already have blinds in the two rooms I was planning to use, but where can I get these Chinese Lanterns?

They sound so much jollier than a bog standard Mickey Mouse Mobile, dont they?

Angry Exile said...

Idiotic pair. Say they get their way, what's to stop people from tying the ends of the cords together for convenience? People who have the ability to procreate but are too fucking lazy to take responsibility for their offspring's safety really get up my fucking nose. If the silly bastards had backed over the poor mite and crushed her to death I suppose they'd be demanding that the rest of us aren't allowed a reverse gear anymore.

Sobers said...

I'm afraid I can't agree with your views on Chinese lanterns. As a farmer I find that the things are a menace. They are let off indiscriminately across the countryside, with no view to what damage they could do.

There are now documented cases of them causing deaths of cattle (due to the wire in them, if they land in a field of grass and end up in a forage harvester, the resulting small lengths of wire can perforate a cows gut, with fatal results), and fires (a field of barley was set alight by one not far from where I live this year).

I find it strange that people are OK with the concept of letting off what is effectively rubbish into the countryside. If someone drove down the road chucking their litter out they could be prosecuted for littering. How is letting off a chinese lantern any different?

And as a landowner I have no recourse in the courts - how can you know who has let off a lantern, miles away, in a large town?

Why should one person suffer a loss, just because someone else fancies a bit of a pretty light show?

JuliaM said...

"...or the teacher who sued for a hurty neck because she ‘HAD TO’ shout a lot in class."

Oh, yes. I've got something cued up on her...

"I laugh in the face of danger. Mwahahahaha."

You know how to live... ;)

"There are times when I really do despair about the general level of intelligence in this country. "

It's really apparent, when you start seeing the effects of the 'dumbing down' of our culture trickling through. Suddenly, there's a flood of it.

"If the silly bastards had backed over the poor mite and crushed her to death I suppose they'd be demanding that the rest of us aren't allowed a reverse gear anymore."

Next up: ban elderly people from owning automatic cars.

"As a farmer I find that the things are a menace. They are let off indiscriminately across the countryside, with no view to what damage they could do."

Then they are too cheap - increase the price to cover the damage they do, or insist on insurance.

Banning doesn't solve anything - it merely punishes the responsible.

banned said...

@ about age 13 my parents hosted my annual bonfire night party, me mate Terry, all excited, ran into the double glazed french windows, cracked them and cracked his head.
Did Terrys dad complain or sue? No.
Did anyone call for double glazed french windows to be banned? No.

My dad stuck some fablon patches on them (to enhance visibility) and so they remained for about 5 years until he removed them (the patches).

JuliaM said...

Heh! The same thing happened to my brother - though he was a good bit older.

He retained, in a small specimen jar, the humongous shard of glass the A&E doc dug out of his buttock... :)

bella gerens said...

"Apparently in America they are banned"

Is she joking? Window blinds absolutely are not banned in America.

Neither, for the record, are many of the other household items involved in fatal child accidents, such as top-loading washing machines and tumble dryers, caustic cleaning products, electrical sockets, electrical cords, sharp implements, razors, stovetops, kettles, microwaves, large saucepans, oil lamps, etczzz.

It's tragic when an unsupervised child accidentally dies from window blind cords, but it is certainly not a common occurrence. But as KenS says, would she have us ban swimming pools, bathtubs, and sinks, given that the number one cause of accidental child death in the home is drowning?

JuliaM said...

"Is she joking? Window blinds absolutely are not banned in America."

Maybe they are banned in one or two of the kookier states, say, California?

To the 'Mail' reporter, one state is 'America', after all....