‘For The Chiiiilllldreeeen!’ - Bumper ‘Ban It Now!’ Edition

First up, Chinese lanterns:

Cael Jones and his family were gazing skywards as the paper lanterns drifted into the air, only for the freak accident to leave him with appalling burns.

As his parents yesterday waited to find out whether he had suffered permanent damage, they called for the lanterns to be banned.

Well, of course they did!

I wonder, though, if it had been some other little kiddie looking skyward when the tiny flying incendiary device tipped up, if they’d be quite so concerned?

Calling for a ban on the lanterns, Cael’s mother said: ‘I want people to realise how dangerous they are.’

Her partner, Terry Williams, 24, who is unemployed, added: ‘These lanterns shouldn’t be on the shelf if they’re not safe.

‘Save me, BigGov! I’m too stupid to figure out on my own that setting fire to oil to be carried aloft might be unwise!’….

If only the manufacturers had put some sort of warni…

Ah:

Manufacturers say they should not be released by children and warn people not to stand beneath them immediately after they are lit as melting wax may drip off.

Not good enough! We’ve raised a generation that can’t or won’t read. And one that thinks if they have an unfortunate mishap as a result of this, the offending object must be removed from existence.

Now, window blinds:

Mother Joy Edwards has been left 'devastated' and hopes that window blinds are banned in Britain - as they are in many other countries - for the safety of other children.

Yes, it’s another child strangled by window blind cords…

Mrs Edwards believes that no one should be allowed blinds in their house…

That’s right. Even if you don’t have children, don’t want children, never invite children to your house, you can’t have window blinds with cords. Ever.

…and said: 'Apparently in America they are banned so hopefully that is something that will happen here too.

'We did tie [the blinds] up, but not all the time. I 'd just urge people to make sure they tie them up and to always be wary.'

So, you were aware of the danger? But never thought to, say, change the blinds?

In May, Andrew Haigh, a coroner for South Staffordshire, urged the Government to look again at existing safety regulations after two two toddlers strangled themselves within five days of each other…'The frequency of deaths of this kind is more of a problem than we would anticipate or expect,' Mr Haigh, who also presided over an inquest into a child killed by a blind cord in 2004, said.

'Is there any way to more strictly enforce the existing British standard as to what should happen with blind cords?

'If not, the next step is to ban looped blind cords completely. 'I feel very sorry for both sets of parents in these cases and in the similar previous case as well.

'They were in perfectly pleasant homes with responsible mothers and this risk just was not envisaged at all. The children were left in circumstances that appeared to be safe.'

You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more ghastly statement from a court official, have you?

In essence, his comment boils down to ‘Gosh! Awful accidents happen to nice people too, not the usual ignorant uncaring underclass sluts that usually cross my desk! This cannot stand, the government must act forwith!’

But we cannot eliminate all risk. I’ll bet a pound to a penny that these blinds carry the same kind of warning as the lights, that they should be used responsibly and if misused, or used around those unable to comprehend the danger, it’s the responsibility of the owner.

Indeed, Joy Edwards seems to have been aware of that herself, by her own admission. Mummylonglegs picks up on this too, as do several of the 'Mail' commenters.

Yet she still wants government to do something about it. As does little Cael’s mother. So the infantilisation of the population marches on apace….