Friday 12 November 2010

Shock At ‘Daily Mail’ As They Discover…

…women don’t wear the same outfit three days running!

I know! You could have knocked me down with a feather when I found out!

This startling new revelation occurred during the ongoing ‘did BBC drop ‘Countryfile’ presenters because they were boot faced harridans?’ dispute that the ‘Mail’ unaccountably feels is gripping the nation:
The executive at the centre of accusations of ageism at the BBC said yesterday that looks did not matter on television.

Miss Hunt, 43, denied appearance was important in television and insisted she had ‘never considered the way someone looks’ when deciding to put them on screen.
I suspect Miss Hunt’s not being entirely truthful there, but so what? It applies to men equally as well.

Richard Armitage didn’t get lead roles in ‘Spooks’ and ‘Chris Ryan’s Strike Back’ due to his amazing thespian skills as evidenced in BBC’s ‘Robin Hood’. He got them for his ability to fill a pair of leather trousers very well indeed.

Charles Dance and Richard Head are both getting a bit long in the tooth, but have plenty of female admirers for whom they could recite the telephone directory and still pull in a fair old audience…
Observers were quick to point out, however, that she has placed considerable importance on her own appearance at the hearing this week with three different outfits over three days.
HOLD THE FRONT PAGE!!!
On Tuesday she looked sombre in a black coat with lace-up high heels and dark tights. The following day she was photographed wearing a military-style royal purple coat and a gold chain necklace. Yesterday she modelled a bold red coat with a black skirt and heels.
The hussy!

Burn her! Burn the witch! BURN HER HEATHEN CLOTHING TOO!

That this appears to be an aberrant occurrence to the ‘Mail’ reporters must, I’m sure, say something profound about the sartorial elegance and attention to toilette of female ‘Mail’ journalists.

I’m just not sure what….

17 comments:

SadButMadLad said...

Sure must be a smelly place at Daily Fail towers if they don't wear fresh clothes every day.

William Brown said...

Tres amusant!

William the Outlaw

Ross said...

I change my underwear once a week regardless of whether they need it or not.

Disenfranchised of Buckingham said...

After Mr Compton's suggestion of stoning a BBC witch are you sure you are allowed to suggest incineration as an alternative?

Anonymous said...

A smile, pants, socks, toothbrush, credit card ,mobile phone and keys.

these are the things that we need regardles of sex.

Anonymous said...

oh and a hat and shoes ;)

Anonymous said...

some fish maybe?

Anonymous said...

a stick?

Anonymous said...

Definitely, a stick and that’s it, my chrimble list is complete. The rest is gravy.

banned said...

I misread the Mail report as "at a tribunal brought by aged Countryfile presenter Miriam O’Reilly against the BBC"

Anonymous said...

I've seen only one ugly mug on the BBC news and current affairs, and there's that blind guy they allow on radio.
I'd reserve the vast majority of these jobs for the disabled. All this nonsense just shows how stunningly ableist our crappy PC BBC rulers are. Any chance of programmes of actual interest Beebo? One's that don't need pretty faces, F-factors and women's skirts to look up? I know this would be a revolution.

JuliaM said...

"Sure must be a smelly place at Daily Fail towers if they don't wear fresh clothes every day."

Clearly, it isn't just the quality of their journalism that whiffs a little!

"I change my underwear once a week regardless of whether they need it or not."

:D

"After Mr Compton's suggestion of stoning a BBC witch are you sure you are allowed to suggest incineration as an alternative?"

Heh!

"All this nonsense just shows how stunningly ableist our crappy PC BBC rulers are."

Indeed. Like most agencies - I'm looking at YOU, Equality Commission - they talk the talk, but never walk the walk.

Chapcustard said...

What bare faced cheek. How dare she have clothes. Even more how dare she wear different clothes on consecutive days.

This is in blatant disregard to Daily Mail Public Outrage Directive No. 1,223,445.9.8.a, which reads as follows:

"...any person appearing in a court, in any capacity other than judge or barrister, must wear only soiled sackcloth with ashes in their hair. Furthermore they must be barefooted, arrive at the court crawling on their knees and lashing themselves repeatedly and/or smashing themselves in the face with a RichardLittlejohn book. Anyone appearing in court for any reason are scum and can expect the full Daily Mail Outrage treatment."

I fear if she turns up for another hearing it may have to been in a closed court as the sound of Daily Mail journalists heads popping may be quite distracting for the judge.

Mark Wadsworth said...

The Mail at its best!

I love the articles down the right hand edge of their web page which are always about "Coleen has new boob implants!!" and then there are several before and after pictures for the male reader to ogle, but right at the end of the article they write something like "What a slut this woman is".

Lynne said...

Women change their clothes (including underwear) on a daily basis.

Gasp! It's the end of civilisation as we know it.

I blame the hygiene fairy actually. That gossamer winged, pink tu-tued bitch has a lot to answer for...

moriarty said...

To be fair to the paper though, I'd imagine that most of the people that a court reporter sees in the dock only have the one outfit suitable for wearing before a judge, probably with a Primark price tag still hanging from the collar. (possibly the security tag too)

JuliaM said...

"...blatant disregard to Daily Mail Public Outrage Directive No. 1,223,445.9.8.a..."

I think that's pretty much the ONLY 'Mail' directive.. :)

"The Mail at its best!"

It is getting harder to distinguish it from the 'Mash', isn't it?

"To be fair to the paper though, I'd imagine that most of the people that a court reporter sees in the dock only have the one outfit suitable for wearing before a judge, probably with a Primark price tag still hanging from the collar. (possibly the security tag too)"

Heh!