This new round of punitive measures against single parents – benefit freezes, the closure of access courses – enrages me not only personally but politically. How does pushing them further down the ladder help? The backlash against the welfare state is spoken of in the abstract. Bring it home: it is a seven-year-old whose dinner is a packet of crisps.That's appalling parenting, not 'poverty'.
Thursday, 21 March 2013
No, Suzanne, No!
Suzanne Moore in (where else?) The 'Guardian' on the supposed war on single parents:
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32 comments:
She should pop down to any MacDonald's on a Sunday lunchtime and see how many families are out having their SUnday Dinner, happy meals galore...and the cost! Mum and / or Dad or both or....whatever...could for the price of a bargain bucket and 4 Happy meals buy a nice chicken to roast PLUS all the usual veg and trimmings. But it might ruin their nails or get fat on their lopsided UGG boots. lazy fuckers. People like Moore should stop making excuses for the lazy chav and under classes.
First, I have not read the article, but if Ms Moore is sticking up for single parents, then I bow to her for that.
I grew up under Thatchers government in a single parent household. My father worked his backside off as best he could. There was no help for widowed men at that time. We had no money, hardly any clothes or shoes that were adequate but got by as best we could. It was very, very hard. We struggled badly. My father became very ill with the toll as no one helped him or us kids. No one looked upon us and thought they would try to help. Instead they judged us by our lack of material wealth. Mainly turning their noses up and scurrying away as quickly as they could because we were not of a 'certain' class.
Children would grow up far better adjusted in this world if there was more adequate help and support for single parents. Not just money, but schools assisting, clothing assisting, and better communication and help with form filling etc for school meals and less delay from councils in action over helping families.
In this day and age, in this country, we should not be seeing third world images. Especially involving children.
That is all.
Feral.
And I forgot to say, in past employment I tried very hard to persuade many employers to take on single parents that I knew, only to be met with the response "oh, no. We don't take on single parents. If the children are ill or need to attend an appointment, they won't be able to work. We need a reliable sort that can also work overtime and work at the drop of a hat if necessary."
If employers do not take on single parents, how can they get anywhere? So attitudes like calling them lazy is pig ignorant.
There is also the matter that if employers need extra hands then they should bloody well take on extra staff and damn well pay them for it!
Feral.
it begs the question - why are there so many single parent families?
Nothing to do with the long term socialist agenda of course....
it begs the question - why are there so many single parent families?
Nothing to do with the long term socialist agenda of course....
There are so many single parent families because the nursery and primary schools are not doing enough. You need mature, inspiring teachers in place with life experience to guide and direct children and families. Not these young idiots that just go into it because it's an option. You need headmasters that are inspirational yet know when to deliver discipline or praise. The discrimination needs to stop about which parent gives money to the school and which doesn't. The parents that are not very involved need constant information about how well their child is doing, and also no blame upon the parent if a child needs more help, because like it or not, I find schools try to shift the blame onto parents, yet when a child is at school for 6 odd hours a day, why are they failing?
There needs to be better before and after school care at affordable rates. It won't kill authorities to get in a few people training up to be teachers (or the like) to work these hours so parents can work. Schools should be open about information to extra help for working/single parent families. A lot of schools are not willing to open their doors beyond the official school hours day. That needs to change. Children need an instillment of personal responsibility and to help their peers. Guidance about not bullying and a duty to be friends. With good leadership, this can be done.
The police also need to stay out of 'domestic' issues unless they are major. People can go to places for domestic abuse advice and help. If a crime has happened, that is what police deal with, not trying to persuade a person to report a crime so it hits the targets or looks good for the officer. This is destructive to what can possibly be rebuilt in a family relationship.
Overall, people need to feel of value. To be told they matter. To be shown they are an individual that has some contribution to give back. The upbringing with self worth matters so very much and makes someone learn right from wrong. With good leaders and inspirational people, it can be done. By doing this, single parenthood will them become less frequent.
Feral.
Feral
When one thinks of single parents one thinks of the majority of them - women who shag everything in sight or for the "better quality" ones who decide they can do without the kids father(s).
They all know the State will pay so they don't have to take responsibility for their own actions.
I'd be very happy to see better State support for the widow or widower trying to cope on their own provided nothing goes to the feckless.
I don't quite understand what it actually is that the likes of Suzanne Moore are doing. I, for one, am becoming immune to the hand wringers bleatings about poverty. Child poverty, fuel poverty, mobile phone poverty, internet poverty - you name it and there's a bloody "poverty" for it according to some.
I've long been convinced, and shall remain so, that there are very very few people in the UK who are genuinely impoverished. If you have a roof over your head and can eat a meal at least once a day - then you are hardly in "Poverty" are you? If you want an improvement on that then it's down to you and you alone. As for the comment from Feral about single parents being unable to get work - utter nonsense - there are more part time and flexible hours jobs than there ever were in the past. The single mums would do well to remember that it was their choice to be a Mum in the first place and that we all need to make sacrifices at some point in our lives if we want to progress.
In this day and age, in this country, we should not be seeing third world images. Especially involving children.
We're not - so what's the problem?
No Feral, your dad wasn't a 'single parent', he was a widower and no one minds helping out the genuinely unfortunate.
What people object to is what Moore wants: the government to loot the hard working and the moral to supply tramps with filthy lucre, no questions asked - or, as I think of it, Ho Dough.
Given the costs and outcomes in each case, it would probably be less damaging for the government to supply free cigarettes for the Under 5's than to subsidise skanks to churn out Thuglets.
Step away from the blog and DON'T ARGUE WITH FERAL.You will regret it.
Fuck off those of you that slate single mums.
I am not a single mum by choice. I did my fucking best.
You rich fuckers that look down your noses know fuck all about poverty. Al you know is how to judge other people and wallow in your so called self superiority.
When you talk to the people that are regarded as scum, their face lights up when you don't treat them as such. Don't fucking tell me that they want to be regarded as scum. No one ever set out in life to be a criminal or to not have a future.
Yes, there is a lot of work to be done, but those of you on your high fucking horses are obviously not the one's that have any idea how to deal with anything.
As for my old man being widowed, what was to stop me from going off and committing crime so I could have all the things my mates had? To a certain degree, I wonder if maybe I should have. At least I might have been better off than I am now.
And another thing DJ. No one minds helping the genuinely unfortunate? Where the fuck is this help? Where was it when I needed it? Where the fuck is it now other people need it?
You people keep spouting your drivel, yet you don't ever really understand anything.
Feral.
"Comments for this discussion are now closed"
*snigger*
DSD
'What' is Feral? Is it mad?
And another thing.
That wanker Iain Duncan Smith can go and shove his head up his right conservative arse.
Him and Nick Herbert are a couple of greedy cunts that just want to be in with Murdoch to feed their vile egos.
I am for the people that cannot help themselves. I am for the people that try yet are let down.
I am for the people that feel they have no voice, no hope and no future. And my good friends will help me to correct that.
If you are a greedy or ignorant bastard, we will make sure you are changed. Forever.
Feral.
@ Feral
You rich fuckers that look down your noses know fuck all about poverty.
What an astounding assumption!
I am not a single mum by choice. I did my fucking best.
Yup. One day some scientist will work out where babies come from. And with a bit of luck another one will come up with a way of avoiding them. But I guess until then I guess you are right.
@John Tee.
No scientist needed. Help and direction for the people that don't have it is what is needed.
Whether you like it or not, all I wanted to be was someone's wife. Have kids, work, grow old together, enjoy retirement with grandkids, then snuff it. Greedy fuckers have a brilliant way of letting you down.
And don't take the piss. I doubt it's worked out the brilliant way you had it planned has it?
Feral.
Best to try and settle down when the worst types can only congregate to feed upon your pain, Feral.
Yes, it was your choice, Feral, because even if rape was your method of pregnancy you could of still had an abortion. We are not Ireland.
So unless you are the new Virgin fucking Mary and you're hand-rearing the new Saviour shut your fucking KFC hole.
Antony
"Fuck off those of you that slate single mums."
That's quite a potty mouth you've got there.
"Not just money, but schools assisting, clothing assisting, and better communication and help with form filling etc for school meals and less delay from councils in action over helping families."
Yeah, it's a right nuisance having to make your own way in the world and take responsibility for yourself. Still, that's the way it is.
The comment from DJ is spot on, your Dad deserved help (not sure why he didn't get it, the Waynettas round here seem to do just fine for fags, trackys, tatts, piercings and the latest phones) but your overweening sense of entitlement would be an embarrassment to so very many of his generation.
"That is all.
Vera."
Oh please don't keep raising our hopes and then dashing them.
Bunny
Towards Feral, regarding your life story, I neither believe you or care. If it is true I doubt if they were turning their noses up because you were poor, probably because you were just appalling people, sorry but that's it.
I would say enjoy your life, but somehow I doubt it.
To Antony.
Go and carry on fucking your sister and your mother. I gather they are the same person.
This blog ain't for me.
Try focusing on the fuckers that are ripping this country apart through their greed rather than pathetic shit you try to drum up.
You were all warned....kiss goodbye to reasonable debate on here.
I'm a little annoyed with 'the language' surrounding this 'issue'.
There are not millions of 'single parents', there are millions of 'single mothers'! And why? Because they are rewarded for becoming so.
Young girls who choose to become pregnant as a career choice, free homes and benefits (sufficient for them to have big-screen TVs, Playstations, fashionable (?) clothes and an active social life - and yes there are innumerable examples I could quote locally to support that assertion). Then there are those 'ladies' who had a 'longer term relationship' (more than one night) who either had some minor disagreement, or more likely saw they would be better off financially without 'the man' (after all they don't lose a thing, and in most cases either get his income or remain 'close friends' with their 'baby fathers', just not officially).
Reward an action and you get more of it!
As to Ms Moores "This new round of punitive measures against single parents" - ah well, they'll just have to cut back to only three nights out and only one new pair of UGG boots a week, and 'make do' without another new car (car dealers in my area are kept afloat by buyers comprised of single mothers and 'the disabled' who 'need' transport to the night clubs and golf courses).
"Mum and / or Dad or both or....whatever...could for the price of a bargain bucket and 4 Happy meals buy a nice chicken to roast PLUS all the usual veg and trimmings."
That's the really sad thing. It's poverty of aspiration we should tackle, not money!
"...but if Ms Moore is sticking up for single parents, then I bow to her for that."
Well, maybe read it? It might, y'know, help?
"In this day and age, in this country, we should not be seeing third world images. "
The only 'Third World images' we see are those transmitted from the Third World.
"If employers do not take on single parents, how can they get anywhere?"
There are several in my office.
"Nothing to do with the long term socialist agenda of course...."
Perish the thought!
"... I find schools try to shift the blame onto parents, yet when a child is at school for 6 odd hours a day, why are they failing?"
Because they only have them 6 hours a day. And the parent(s) have them the rest of the time, and before they start, and so set the parameters.
"I don't quite understand what it actually is that the likes of Suzanne Moore are doing."
Making a mint!
"..and no one minds helping out the genuinely unfortunate."
Quite so. The original premise of the welfare state. Not what it's morphed into.
"Step away from the blog and DON'T ARGUE WITH FERAL.You will regret it."
It's OK, jaded, I spit on my hands & rubbed them together first! ;)
"You rich fuckers..."
You can tell that? From a blog?
""Comments for this discussion are now closed"
*snigger*"
Oh, it's just 'Guardian' policy to close them after a few days have past.
"Yup. One day some scientist will work out where babies come from. And with a bit of luck another one will come up with a way of avoiding them. But I guess until then I guess you are right."
SNORK!
"...all I wanted to be was someone's wife. Have kids, work, grow old together, enjoy retirement with grandkids, then snuff it."
Well, I can guarantee you'll achieve the latter. But then, so will everyone else.
"Jaded48 said...
You were all warned....kiss goodbye to reasonable debate on here."
Before she slithers back under her radiator, WC Jaded should not be denied appropriate thanks for her warnings.
The Devil finds work for plod trolls and of those infesting the Internet you are probably the most deluded by a notion of contributing to reasonable debate.
and MTG said....................wibble.
Thanks Melvin,I was missing the word radiator.
My enemies enemy is my friend.I'm sure you and Feral will have a long and happy relationship with matching straight-jackets.
Nice use of the word troll as well.Now try "irony".
Irony is for seniors, Jaded. Apostrophes, plurals and spacing tomorrow...and don't forget to return Moo Baa La La La to the library.
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