Saturday 6 March 2010

Generation No ‘X’ – Part I

Sian Anderson (a 19-year-old freelance journalist, PR and radio host from south east London) explains in ‘CiF’ why ‘da kidz’ ain’t down wiv da pols, yeah?’.

If you are on blood pressure medication, better take some before reading this:
So, it's time to blame the lack of voters from Generation Z on the government.
Nice to see you start out your little essay with your conclusion…
Apparently, despite bulging marketing budgets, they haven't promoted the registration process properly among young people, with more than half of 18 to 24-year-olds not registered to vote.
Because if the youth aren’t voting, it must be because they simply haven’t promoted it properly?

Are you familiar with the term ‘post hoc ergo propter hoc’, Sian? I suspect you aren’t…
Personally, the thought of walking into a polling station, tattooed up to my neck, piercings all over my face and wearing my comfortable-yet-dreaded-by-the-government "hoody" to be judged and looked down upon is cringeworthy.
Ah..

Right.

Because polling booths are staffed by people kept in hermetically-sealed pods and only let out for the duration, then shoved right back in for the next one. They aren't real people, drawn from society. They've never seen piercings and tattoos before, right?

And besides, how do you know that would happen even if that was the case? People might surprise you, if you give them a cha…

Oh:
Well, I assume that's what happens – I've never voted before. And it's one of the reasons I probably won't vote.
Is it time for the /doublefacepalm yet?
That and the fact that, half of the time, I can't even understand what politicians are going on about.
Mnhgtmmnnnnn!

Sorry, had to bang my head violently only the desk for a few moments…

And what gives you such difficulty, Sian? What is it a 19 year old struggles to understand?
Should you take time out to investigate the politicians on offer, a quick Google search leads to 15-page speeches (using language only the majority of Oxford University students probably understand) and, you've guessed it, apathy kicks right back in.

You may prefer to call it lazy – and that's exactly what it is. But given how young people consume media, it should be pretty obvious that anything involving too much in-depth research and analysis is a no-go for engaging young people in politics.
Dumb it down for you, you mean? Ensure you don’t have to do any hard work, or make any tough decisions?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the ideal Labour (non)voter.

Ignorant, lazy, and proud of it.

Spat out of the other end of the education system unaccustomed to ever having to concentrate or analyse, trained only to respond, like one of Pavlov’s dogs, to small bites of information in primary colours…
I'll give the officials charged with overseeing the electoral register some information for free: no matter how much you continue to promote the need for young people to start voting, you're going to hit a brick wall. Why? Because you're doing it all in the wrong way. Take down your billboards, give up the fancy speeches and get to the core of what young people are engaged with these days. Whether it's music, EastEnders or sport – use it. If you've got the balls (Ed), brief rapper 50 Cent to talk to young people about the importance of voting in a way they can understand.
Oh, I’m losing the will to live here…
Other organisations have tried a non-conformist approach and proved it works. In my role as street team coordinator and music editor of Ctrl.Alt.Shift, a global and social justice movement for 18- to 25-year-olds that uses popular culture to bring about engagement, I've seen first-hand how to empower a typically apathetic group of young people.
Christ, I thought she said she didn’t understand all those 15 page politician’s speeches? That sounds just like one of them! It even hits all the politically-correct high points…
A recent rave thrown to raise money for Haiti raised more than £10,000, with 3,000 clubbers signing up to the website to find out what else they could do to tackle poverty. And all because the likes of Ms Dynamite and Sway took to the mic and asked them to get involved.
Fantastic! Schools used to be the place to train the future leaders of the country.

Not any more. Now, they just babysit the future followers for a while…
That gets my vote.
I think we’d be better off if no-one had your vote, Sian. Frankly, it isn’t worth anything.

Anyone want to tell me I’ve been too harsh?

By the way, at time of writing, this 'CiF' column had nearly 600 comments, the vast majority in the same vein as this one. By the time it posts, I wouldn't be at all surprised to see it in four figures...

22 comments:

Macheath said...

One of your finest, JuliaM.

You could make a fortune selling T-shirts - or possible baseball caps - emblazoned with the slogan
'Ignorant, lazy and proud of it'

Next series of Dragons' Den?

Mike said...

or 'tits' on the front and 'what are you looking at?' on the back

Brian, follower of Deornoth said...

Good, Sian Anderson, you fuckwit. Please don't vote. Please carry on not voting. It makes my vote more valuable, you see, and since (unlike you) I have more brains than a turnip my vote should be more valuable than yours.

Gibby Haynes said...

50 Cent (that's an unusual name)? Isn't he the chap who got himself shot for dissing someone's whip or something? Who in their right mind would want to listen to what this common street criminal has to say about anything, let alone how a country ought to be run?
No Sian, you carry on not voting. I dread to think how much of a worse state the place would be if you and your simpleton peers were voting. And if the government is to 'blame' for this, then I salute it wholeheartedly. Mind you, it's the government that created these miscreants in the first place, so it's a double-edged sword.

Mike said...

Does a vote depend on intelligence or need? there are lots of needy stupid people , needy smart folk and perfectly dumb examples who ask for nothing but very few of our inteligencia that take care of themselves.

My colleague, a medical doctor, arrived at work the other day in her 2yr old BMW and complained all day that it wasn't driving right. I looked at it over my lunch break only to discover the pistons had fused themselves to the engine block due to a lack of oil and a consequential heat that resulted in lots of damage. When I asked her when she last checked her oil she replied 'oh I thought you just put petrol init and that made it go, does it need some oil then?' I laughed and said 'no it needs a new car dear'. She said 'I wondered why those lights were flashing at me, I guess I'll have to ask my boss for a new one'.
I wouldn't trust her vote or her diagnosis but she is allegedly intelligent.

The Cowboy Online said...

It's absolutely clear who Sian should be voting for, she's a 'street team coordinator', well clearly she's also Labour's natural voter.

Give me strength.

Chuckles said...

About the only thing not entirely absent from her outlook and demeanour, is an industrial sized quantity of 'self esteem'.

As always, the funding source and amount for crlt.alt.shi*t would probably tell another interesting story, since the 10000 collected for Haiti does not seem to acknowledge any understanding of input costs.

Or like this:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704486504575097783544905868.html?mod=WSJ_hps_MIDDLEThirdNews

English Viking said...

I was going to say that this girl should be lobotomised for the public good, but it appears that 12 years of State 'education' has done the trick nicely.

Under 25's, over 70's, non tax-payers, benefit claimants and anybody paid from the public purse should not be allowed to vote.

Gibby Haynes said...

My colleague, a medical doctor, arrived at work the other day in her 2yr old BMW and complained all day that it wasn't driving right. I looked at it over my lunch break only to discover the pistons had fused themselves to the engine block due to a lack of oil and a consequential heat that resulted in lots of damage.

How did it drive at all if the pistons were fused to the cylinder walls?

Dave H said...

(Dave H's had a few lotions and thinks he's being funny. I may regret this. It does go on a bit)

2010 General Election voting instructions. Under-25s version.

"Please vote by texting an X to the telephone number corresponding to the party of your choice in the list below. For example, if you wish to vote for the Labour Party, dial 0781...

Mobile phone charges may vary according to your provider and more importantly may become punitive should you decide to vote injudiciously.

It is not permitted to vote more than once. However, certain sections of the electorate have previously shown complete contempt for electoral rules and since they mostly belong to favoured minority groups (which all vote for us anyway) multiple votes will be continue to be counted.

This message is also available in 45 different languages, including txtese, pseudo-Jamaican Chavspeak and Standard-English-but-with-much-shorter-words, though in the process of translation various details may have become altered or omitted entirely; in the event of any legal dispute this version shall take precedence, although it is appreciated that not many under-25s will be able to grasp the significance of this, or indeed anything else."

Anonymous said...

Interesting how keen so many people are to disenfranchise (and indeed "lobotomise") anyone whom they perceive to be "ignorant" or a "simpleton". The very thought that anyone a little bit uninformed or a little bit gobby might be allowed any say in the future of this country seems, for some people, to imply that the barbarians are at the gates. Obviously, what we should do is only give votes to people who have letters after their names!

It may not have occurred to you that Ms Anderson (or, perhaps, the members of the Great British public whose views she is trying to articulate) will have to put up with the policies of whatever government comes to power after the election, just as much as you will. It's hardly a crime to ask "where to turn in order to actually comprehend what voting means and what the parties are promising". It is in fact a vital question, given that in the UK we do actually give to poor people, ignorant people, people who might actually have no option but to make extensive use of the welfare state the right to have their small say about whatever plans the cleverer people in society might be hatching that might or might not be the ruin of these "morons'" lives.

While it may be an unpleasant thought for this country's "English Vikings", this country is a democracy, which means that everyone has the right to vote for somebody they think might improve their lives, or to vote against those thay think might intimidate them. It also means (in this particularly fine democracy) that if Sian Anderson is unimpressed by any of the politicians' plans, she has the absolute right not to vote for them. This has the unfortunate side-effect that the votes of her less-than-entirely-reasonable detractors will be worth a little more. More importantly, it will mean that the politicians will have failed in their solemn duty to convince The Voter that they have a clue what they're talking about. It means that when politicians talk about any subject in public, they should remember to answer the naive question "Why should I care?" Ms Anderson is only one voter, and perhaps she's a little bit too idealistic, but it's also people like her on whom the Prime Ministers of this country rely for their mandate to govern.

Mike said...

The car didn't drive ever again and I have no idea how it got to where it died but die it did. The moral of my story is not that I am a mechanic but apparently clever people may or may not use their vote wisely, I have to concede they have the right to vote regardless of intellect.

Got it?

I support a different approach and that is that all candidates be subjected to a game of chess. The winner is the one who takes the king btw. You should protect the queen but it is not necessary to win the game. All sounds a bit sexist but then if you had two queens you might just be better off than your opponent?

Brian, follower of Deornoth said...

"this country is a democracy"

Anonymous, please do not insult my intelligence. I know (as one who holds illegal political opinions) how democratic this country is.

Q. Who did you vote for for Prime Minister?

Q. Who did you vote for for European President?

Q. Did you vote for the European Constitution in the referendum?

English Viking said...

@Anonymous,

'Interesting how keen so many people are to disenfranchise (and indeed "lobotomise") anyone whom they perceive to be "ignorant" or a "simpleton".'

You've got no idea just how keen. And high-minded, patronising luvvies like yourself.

BTW If you think you live under a democracy, you really are as stupid as you sound. Who voted for Brown?

Mike said...

Oh dear there seems to be an IQ row going on here, which by any standards is an interesting debate but has little or nothing to do with the right to vote

anyone for chess?

Mike said...

btw you don't have to b intelligent to play chess but you do have to follow the rules

;)

so no building moats around the king at the tax payer's expense, its just not circket

Anonymous said...

Look it is not that difficult to vote. Most of these "young persons" only have to sign their names after all (make a cross) in a box on the ballot paper.
If you do not wish to vote, for whatever reason, please do not turn it into some sort of moral crusade or complain about the government you DID get because you chose not to vote.
TTFN :)

Clarissa said...

@Brian, @EV

As a simply point of order can I remind you both that we do not vote for Prime Ministers in this country? Brown is an elected member of parliament and an elected (unopposed) leader of the Labour party. Or have you forgotten that since 1940 the following have also become Prime Minister without a general election: Major (1990), Callaghan (1976), Douglas-Hume (1963), MacMillian (1957), Eden (1955) and Churchill (1940). This is not exhaustive list.

JuliaM said...

"You could make a fortune selling T-shirts - or possible baseball caps - emblazoned with the slogan
'Ignorant, lazy and proud of it'"


Give it a few more generations, and t-shirt slogans will have to be pictograms...

"Mind you, it's the government that created these miscreants in the first place, so it's a double-edged sword."

Indeed. This is what they wanted, right?

"Does a vote depend on intelligence or need? there are lots of needy stupid people , needy smart folk and perfectly dumb examples who ask for nothing but very few of our inteligencia that take care of themselves."

When we have a culture that rewards dependance, this is what we get...

"...an industrial sized quantity of 'self esteem'."

These days it seems the amount of self-esteem is inversely proportional to actual talent...

JuliaM said...

"2010 General Election voting instructions. Under-25s version."

Hah! Excellent.

"Obviously, what we should do is only give votes to people who have letters after their names!"

No, we certaibnly shouldn't do that.

"...if Sian Anderson is unimpressed by any of the politicians' plans, she has the absolute right not to vote for them."

She does indeed. But she then has no right to whine and complain, having taken no part in the system to change things. However broken it may currently be.

"Ms Anderson is only one voter, and perhaps she's a little bit too idealistic..."

No, she's not idealistic at all. The word you are groping for is 'apathetic'. Or maybe even 'lazy'.

Brian, follower of Deornoth said...

Clarissa,

Thank you, but I was already aware of that. We don't "traditionally" have referenda either. The question I was asking was how any of this can be considered "democratic".

And, of course, to be abusive towards the subject of the post who clearly thinks that if the world is too complicated for her to understand, that's somehow the world's fault.

Anonymous said...

Obviously, what we should do is only give votes to people who have letters after their names!

Don't be silly; we don't want the riff-raff deciding things. No, only people who have letters before their names should have the vote. (Sorry. You and your BTEC in social work and vegetarian cooking didn't make the grade.)