Friday 16 March 2012

There Is Another Solution, Your Eminence...

...you could buy her a card or the flowers out of your own pocket!
Mr Brookshaw said that when visiting a woman on her 100th birthday he had been forced to choose between giving her flowers or a card.
Oh, the humanity! And all those functions you can't go to, and all those buffets you can't eat!
The number of events attended by the Lord Mayor is likely to be cut by about 30 per cent. Out go many purely commercial or business engagements, charity and social events, and most functions outside the city.
How will you survive?
Mr Brookshaw said: "You may save £200,000 a year but that is a drop in the ocean compared with what will be lost in the goodwill of the third sector."
That 'third sector' is tightening their own budget at the moment. I doubt they'll notice there's one less dignitary they have to buy sausage rolls for...

7 comments:

Simon Cooke said...

I don't mean to be picky but the proper address for a Lord Mayor is "Your Worship" and he should be introduced as "the Right Worshipful..."

Anonymous said...

This one sounds like a Right Worshipful Wanker!

Captain Haddock said...

Tight-fisted bastard ..

How much does a birthday card cost FFS ?

Not even a drop in the ocean of his expenses, I bet ..

James Higham said...

That's one of the most mealy-mouthed bits of scrooginess I've ever had the misfortune to see.

Weekend Yachtsman said...

The "third sector".

Feh.

If - as I think - this means assorted fake charities and quangoes getting fat off the taxpayer, then who needs their goodwill?

The "third sector" can k*** my a**, frankly.

Woman on a Raft said...

Do Lord Mayors not have the wit to buy a posy of flowers (99p) and write a thoughtful and congratulatory note on headed council paper, using a proper fountain pen? It doesn't need many words - the elderly generally prefer larger lettering.

Dear -

On behalf of all the citizens of XX I would like to congratulate you on reaching One Hundred Years of Age.

I have checked the archives of the council and local papers and found the following headline from your birthday a century ago:-

[example of something cheery here, such as the opening of a shop, avoid any reference to bad news, maybe add a photocopy]

We've all seen some changes since then/some things don't change, do they! [insert as appropriate]

Please accept this posy to mark this occasion with all our very best wishes.

Yours

Big Swirly Signature and a nice wax seal.

JuliaM said...

"I don't mean to be picky but the proper address for a Lord Mayor is "Your Worship"..."

Yeah, I know, I was just being sarky ;)

"Not even a drop in the ocean of his expenses, I bet .."

Oh, a pound here, a pound there, sooner or later you're talking....errr,I'll get back to you on that!

"That's one of the most mealy-mouthed bits of scrooginess I've ever had the misfortune to see."

It is pretty breathtaking, isn't it? And it shows you why so many of the same sort of character fills these seats too.

"If - as I think - this means assorted fake charities and quangoes getting fat off the taxpayer, then who needs their goodwill?"

Lord Mayors, clearly.

Well, more specifically, they need their sandwiches.

"Do Lord Mayors not have the wit..."

He wouldn't even need to tax his brain - he probably has access to council staff to do it for him!