Monday 1 November 2010

Make Up Your Damned Minds!

Leg-Iron treats us to the unedifying sight of an NHS senior consultant indulging in the sort of scare stories that wouldn’t be out of place in a Hallowe’en special:
Consultant ophthalmologist Parwez Hossain, from Southampton General Hospital, Hampshire, said dunking your head into a bowl of water to bite an apple was fraught with danger.

This is an allegedly educated man. A consultant. The top of the profession. Keep that in mind.

Where there is a chance of a high velocity impact, for example with an apple, you need to wear eye protection such as goggles.

What do they do these days, dive off the high board into a pool full of apples? It was a long time ago but I don't recall any high velocities being involved.
Quite.
I repeat - this man is a consultant. He's at the top of his profession. What are the ones below him like? And they expect me to listen to anything they say? Really? When the head man is telling us tap water is deadly and apples attack children?
And yet, in a town far, far away….
A schoolboy swimmer who dreams of Olympic glory has been banned from wearing goggles in a pool under health and safety rules.
Huh?!? First goggles are safe, nay, they are a vital piece of safety equipment, now they are unsafe?

It seems that it even contradicts other advice from...the pool operators themselves!
The ban contradicts a notice at the pool which recommends goggles to protect the eyes from chlorine.
What gives?
The school, St Anne’s in Royton, Greater Manchester, says it is following Oldham Council swimming guidelines which state that beginners and improvers should become used to eye contact with water.
The ‘Metro’ fleshes the story out a little:
Alex’s mother, Angela, said: ‘If he does make it to the Olympics in 2020, we won’t be wanting to turn around and say the school and council helped to get him there.’
Who can blame you?

So, did this seemingly-contradictory advice come from another panicky consultant?
Councillor Jack Hulme, of Oldham council, said: ‘Beginners and improvers, unless they have a medical condition, should not wear goggles. That is so they can get used to eye contact with the water.’
I think you need to get used to eye contact with the water, Cllr Hulme.

About 20 minutes immersed face-down ought to do the trick….

7 comments:

Chuckles said...

Funny, I thought one wore the goggles to avoid eye contact with stuff that is 'not water'?

And to look like a complete prat of course. Seems to be a pre-requisite of all modern sports gear.

Obsidian said...

It's always an idea to regard anything Oldham Council does as probably stupid.

After all, we recently spent a chunk of cash on Oldham in Bloom - including giant buckets - when it was becoming quite plain cuts were coming. I'm sure those being made redundant will be glad their employers had the spare cash for that.

Surreptitious Evil said...

OT, some good news.

Captain Haddock said...

Wasn't it Oldham (or somewhere close to there) which wasted shed-loads of brass on installing sub-continental style bog-holes, with the old "foot-rests" on either side .. and then ripped them all out again ? ..

With regard to the conflicing advice/views .. all arguments are valid, all of the time .. it just depends on whose particular "Hobby-horse" we listen to ..

Or, in the case of those of us with more than two brain cells to rub together .. choose to completely ignore ..

Leg-iron said...

It's like living under Nero's rule all over again.

Except this time, they're all Nero.

Apart from the ones who are Caligula.

JuliaM said...

"Funny, I thought one wore the goggles to avoid eye contact with stuff that is 'not water'?"

Well, chlorine is 'not water'. Or did you mean the stuff that some swimmers always seem to bring with them to the pool? ;)

"It's always an idea to regard anything Oldham Council does as probably stupid."

Could probably drop the 'Oldham' and still be mostly right!

Some councils have certainly not got the message that the money's not going to be rolling in, have they?

"OT, some good news."

Ah, cheers! I wondered when she'd get her sentence. Not a bad one, all told; three years. Unless, of course, it's automatically halved and time on remand is accounted for.

"Except this time, they're all Nero.

Apart from the ones who are Caligula."


And the vast majority of them, who are merely the back end of Incitatus....

Dave H. said...

And if the children should get into difficulties while their heads were submerged, have the emergency services received the appropriate training in water rescue?

The possibilities for tragedy are endless.