Friday 2 December 2011

It’s All On Course To End In Tears, Tantrums And Recriminations?

Well, whodathunkit:
St Paul's Cathedral could open its doors as a "sanctuary" to protect Occupy London protesters if bailiffs attempt to evict them forcefully from the site, the Standard can reveal.
Splendid! I mean, they are already using the place as a toilet, so why not?

What do you have to lose, other than a few more of your dwindling visitors?
Church authorities believe this is an attempt to "tie our hands behind our backs" and ensure St Paul's cannot allow protesters to move onto its land in the event of an eviction.
I rather doubt the Corporation cares; in fact, I suspect they would think you were welcome to each other. Perhaps, as an act of 'Christian charity', you can provide the safe needle bins for all the junkies?
A Cathedral source said: "The Corporation has found a way to make sure the cathedral cannot do anything.

"The only radical alternative would be putting [protesters] inside the cathedral. We have said all along that what we do not want is for this to end in violence. If [during an eviction] they run inside, the doors are not going to be shut. Everything has been discussed."
Shouldn’t you give a bit more thought to the sort of people you might be letting in?
A protester quit the St Paul's camp today, claiming health and safety problems and drug abuse are so rife that people are at serious risk.

Leo Ashford, 20, said he has become disillusioned after being there since it started.

His decision came amid growing camp tension and another activist's claim that the atmosphere is "like a scene from Orwell's Animal Farm".

Unemployed designer Mr Ashford said: "I'm going to leave before someone dies here. If the poor kitchen hygiene doesn't kill someone then the poor fire safety will - and if that doesn't then someone's going to overdose here.
"I'm going to leave today because it has got to the point where health and safety is so bad I don't feel comfortable being here any more."
‘There’s no health and safety in this camp of hippies, freaks and dropouts, man! Quick, more State intervention!’
"We're protesting against bankers and no one on our finance team knows how to use a ledger or a receipt," he said. "In the second week we had public opinion on our side and enough donations to sustain ourselves. We all could have had brand-new tents and blow-up mattresses. Now no one knows where the money has gone.

"I'm sad but I knew a month ago that it would get to the point where we would collapse in on ourselves on essentially our own stupidity."
Ahahahahahahaha…..

*pauses for breath*

….ahahahahahahahaha!

In other news:
Two signed copies of Alan Bennett's work left by the author in the St Paul's camp library tent have vanished. The playwright, pictured when he visited last week and drank tea with the activists, dedicated the text of the play The History Boys and his memoir A Life Like Other People's "To Occupy London". Today a camp spokeswoman confirmed the works were no longer there.
It was those thieving bankers wot dun it, right?
Some activists claim it hints at the "infighting" which has set in at the camp. One said: "Everyone is really fed up. People are feeling a loss of purpose. We're here because we believe bankers should be brought to account. We are forgetting all this as a few people try to control what the rest are doing."
The socialist paradise, folks. Rather more chock-fulla-snakes than the original one.

In fact, more even than an Indian tax office

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sanctuary! Sanctuary!*

*Please affect a hunchback, a twisted face and a funny voicw whilst reading the above

Antisthenes said...

Oh! So that is what it is about blaming bankers. Somebody should explain to them that they should blame the culprits, Labour, not the scapegoats. Fell for the the left wing propaganda con trick have they. No surprise there so have a lot of others as well.

Martin said...

Hmmmm......let me see....

'It's getting a bit chilly now. What excuse can I come up with to leave and make it everyone elses fault'

Lord T said...

With finance skills like that they are clearly holding out for a role in the EU

Request stop said...

Poor souls. The 'Occupation' was meant to be the start of the long-hoped for revolution, but instead it turned out their fellow revolutionaries were just as nasty, selfish, evil and brainless as the ones they were set on replacing.

Who saw that one coming?

After all, they were told by the Great and Good in their warm places that a down-trodden world would welcome them, that we all would rise up as one against the nasty, selfish, evil and brainless ones.

But when it turned out we didn't, the lost lambs now will have to wait in the cold for the next revolutionary bus to come along...

Anonymous said...

"Splendid! I mean, they are already using the place as a toilet, so why not?"

Why not adopt a different tactic - such as that used at the UEA in Norwich. Deny them access to the toilets, and threaten them with arrest if they "Go" publicly...

dr cromarty said...

I assume they are using the pages of the Alan Bennett play as toilet paper

Captain Haddock said...

"I assume they are using the pages of the Alan Bennett play as toilet paper" ..

A wholly and entirely appropriate use for any of Bennett's work ..

James Higham said...

Splendid! I mean, they are already using the place as a toilet, so why not?

What do you have to lose, other than a few more of your dwindling visitors?

Got it in one.

alf stone said...

As somebody said: "Now is the winter of our discount tents"

Span Ows said...

Indeed...I concur...especially

*pauses for breath*

….ahahahahahahahaha!

blueknight said...

Two signed copies of Alan Bennett's work left by the author in the St Paul's camp library...

Sounds as if William Golding's 'The Lord of the Flies' might have given some clues as to how the protest camp would develop....

JuliaM said...

"Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"

:D

"Somebody should explain to them that they should blame the culprits, Labour, not the scapegoats."

Quite! The level of ignorance, dissonance and entitlement from these youths is astonishing. And paints a poor picture of the education they've (supposedly) had...

"Hmmmm......let me see....

'It's getting a bit chilly now. What excuse can I come up with to leave and make it everyone elses fault'"


Oh, you cynic, you... ;)

"With finance skills like that they are clearly holding out for a role in the EU"

Heh! Indeed...

JuliaM said...

"Who saw that one coming?"

Oh, maybe 'everybody'...? ;)

"Why not adopt a different tactic.."

Because it seems the authorities here lack the balls.

"A wholly and entirely appropriate use for any of Bennett's work .."

:D

"Sounds as if William Golding's 'The Lord of the Flies' might have given some clues as to how the protest camp would develop...."

Ahh, for the days when books were read, rather than just kept for their resale value...

Trevor said...

There are probably plenty of clubs in London for people who like to dress up as vicars and get shat on - why can't they just go to those and leave St Paul's out of it?

Anonymous said...

I do have some belief in OccupyX though I think we should all be at it. It should be about doing the right thing like the brilliant work of the Cheshire DC who refused to comply with a Clown Prosecution Service not to prosecute and put a rotten distraction burglar away with the help of a law professor. Sadly, whilst he was commended a teacher giving a 17 year old a lift home was sacked.
We should give more thought to our own roles in the right thing not getting done so much of the time.