They Do Things Differently In The States….

She split her own lip with a pin, scraped her knuckles with sandpaper and had her friend punch her in the face. US investigators say she even ripped open her blouse, then wet her pants to give the appearance she had been knocked unconscious.

But it was all part of what authorities say was an elaborate hoax by the woman to convince her husband she was raped so they could move to a safer neighbourhood.

Not the best plan, really. But then, what can you expect from barely-educated young girls who…

Wait:

Ms Martinez had been a psychologist overseeing other mental health workers treating inmates at California State Prison, Sacramento, department spokeswoman Terry Thornton said.

Ummm…

Robert Kahane, executive officer of the California Board of Psychology, said Ms Martinez's licence was valid.

However, "we are working diligently to ensure immediate and continued consumer protection as quickly as possible", he said.

Translation: ‘We’re gonna can this crazy bitch the minute the lawyers sign off on it…’

H/T: Angry Exile via email and @MrsErdleigh via Twitter