I've Always Wondered What It Takes To Get The RSPCA To Act....

...and now I know:

Jodie Marsh has revealed her £1 million farm was swarmed by RSPCA investigators on Wednesday.

The animal group arrived at the property as they were investigating claims she took her meerkat Mabel to the pub.

And, what? Forced Guinness down the poor beast's throat? 

Taking to Instagram, she filmed the incident as it unfolded- and cleared up the rumours about her animal, revealing that she could not leave her alone as she would cry if she did and needed regular feeding because she was rearing her.

And this took two hours and a team of investigators?Well, no. That was because, thwarted in their purpose (not to help animals in distress, to secure a celebrity scalp, of course!) they went digging around for other things they could boast about in their publicity mailshots.

With the same results.

Jodie revealed that during the two-hour investigation, officers also looked into claims that an emu had a tube stuck in its neck. The glamour model shared that the tube was saving the animal's life as it was for feeding them...

It's not really surprising that they don't understand about 'saving animal's lives', since it's a pretty much alien concept to them. 

Also during the farm inspection, Jodie was asked about keeping a wild muntjac deer and she told officers she was looking after it because it had fallen into a swimming pool nearby.

I can see why that would have baffled them, too... 

I Just Can't Blog These Fast Enough...

Another day, yet another death by dog:

A community has been plunged into mourning after a woman died following a dog attack on Friday, June 2. It happened on Kathleen Avenue in Bedworth.

The 'family dog', or so it was claimed. Did police do the right thing when they turned up? Reader...no! 

Officers have now contained and seized the animal to a secure facility, and stress there is no ongoing risk to the wider community.

*sighs* 

A 52-year-old man and a 49-year-old woman have been arrested on suspicion of possession of a banned breed of dog and owning a dog dangerously out of control, according to Warwickshire Police.

Now that's very strange. Normally it takes a while for the cops to come out with 'not on the DDA register' (as if that made a difference!) so something must be odd about this one. 

There's only four breeds on the register. Perhaps it's one of those animals allowed to be kept with license and restrictions?

Superintendent Sutherland Lane said: “This was a tragic isolated incident, and a full investigation is now underway to establish the circumstances surrounding it. Thankfully dog attacks of this nature are exceedingly rare...

Beg to differ, lord copper! Your friendly neighbourhood blogger can't keep up with these reports lately! 

Any clues from the neighbours?

The man, who declined to be named, told how he spoken briefly to the dog owner after he was freed on police bail. Speaking to MailOnline, he said: 'The dog attacked his mum-in-law while she was in the back garden lying on a sun lounger.

'He is very shocked and shaken and said he had no idea why the dog suddenly turned and described it as an awful tragedy.'

'No idea', eh? 

'He was at work at the time so didn't see the attack but [his wife] tried to get the dog off.

'Police say it was a banned breed but I'm not sure. I don't know what it was - quite a size with a big head, a bulldog Mastiff type.

'When he got it he said it was a rare breed and there were only six in the country.

Curiouser and curioser. What would a builder want with such a 'family dog', I wonder? 

'It was kept in the back garden and whenever I saw it being walked which was not very often because he was always busy at work in the building industry it never showed any aggression.

'No one knows why it attacked and killed the poor woman, it could have gone crazy after being stung by a bee orbit (sic) could have had something wrong with its brain. It could be anything.'

Someone had something wrong with their brain, for certain. I just don't think it was the mutt... 

It's The Poor Texan Pizza Workers I Feel Sorry For...

Too much roughage in the diet..?

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Snitches Get What...?

Oh. Umm....

Sunday Funnies...

Well, think I'll stick to asking tall men to get things off supermarket top shelves!

But Those Who Broke It Will Never Face Any Consequences...

Mr Brennand said he would be writing to Health Secretary Steve Barclay expressing his 'profound concerns' about issues including morale, workloads and staff shortages.

Afterwards Mr Jones said Emily had been the victim of a 'broken' system. Campaigners said the tragedy raised 'serious questions' about whether the public were safe.

...and so what will change? Nothing.

After smuggling herself into Britain on the back of a lorry in 2014, Skana was twice sectioned under the Mental Health Act following a series of violent outbursts.

She attacked her mother with an iron in February 2017. Skana then absconded from the unit where she was being treated, tried to obtain a knife and demanded to see a friend's daughter. The following year she was refused asylum, but was allowed to remain in the UK after lodging an appeal.

Emily's inquest heard the Home Office dropped plans to contest the appeal – despite asylum workers being informed she had confessed that her trafficking claim had been a lie. The hearing was told her statement was disregarded due to the mental health problems she was suffering at the time.

Yet another in the litany of failures  to lay at the door of the disfunctional Home Office. The father of little Emily is unhappy with the verdict, as well he might be. 

Does the coroner sympathise, or does he see it as a way to burnish his woke credentials by chiding the grieving man? Reader, I leave it to you to decide: 

The coroner added that it was 'not difficult to appreciate that he may well feel, and is entitled to feel', that Skana 'should never have been allowed into the country' or be 'cared for in the community'.

But he stressed that unlike treatments from 'yesteryear', when patients with paranoid schizophrenia would be kept 'under lock and key on a permanent basis', we now lived in 'more enlightened times'.

And all it costs us is the lives of our children. How very enlightened. 

" I am sick of being blamed when I did the legal thing and handed the dog over to the police."

More on this incident:

Geroge (sic) had been rehomed to the teenager's family less than 24 hours before. His previous owners had another dog and the two pets were not getting on. The family was trying to move to a bigger house so the dogs could be in separate rooms. But having failed to find a suitable property they had rehomed George with a family friend rather than keep both of them caged up.

Because if you have a mutt that 'doesn't get on' with your current pet, to the point where you can't keep them together, what better to do with it than 'rehome' it to another irresponsible tattooed chav?

Speaking for the previous owners, Laura Wicks commented: 'I had this dog with me. He also lived with my sister and her children. 'He wasn't aggressive. An eye witness said he was not aggressive towards anyone at the park. I (sic) was just because of the breed of him.'

That's not what other eyewitnesses say... 

A spokesman for North Yorkshire Police said: ' No-one, other than the owner of the dog, was injured during the incident. Their injuries are described as bite marks. They added that the dog was put down with the agreement of the owner...

Meanwhile, in London:

Another neighbour called the police at 8.52am, who arrived with riot shields and blocked off the road. However, Anthoney said that officers were reluctant to go near the dog.

It's about time police started dealing with thrse things they way they'd deal with escaped zoo animals... 

Time To Play 'Guess The Headline' Once Again...

Well, what could it be? Climbing them? Carving their names in the trunks? 

It can't be being injured by falling coconuts, after all, not in Devon's climate!

I...

Well, I can say I wasn't expecting that.

According to Plymouth Live, the council insists that the work was necessary in order to tackle anti-social behaviour. A council spokesperson said: “The area around the Belvedere shelter has suffered from growing anti-social behaviour, with council officers regularly having to clean up sex and drug paraphernalia.”

Which 'council officers'..? Because if it's the street cleaners or parks staff, some might say that it's their job... 

The spokesperson said: “We will be replacing them with planting that has improved biodiversity benefits and provides a better home to bees and bugs.”

And discourages public sex? Hmmm. Nettles?

The residents aren't convinced: 

The person, who called the palms “stunning”, said the removal of shrubs would merely relocate anti-social behaviour elsewhere and said: “Those causing the problems will simply move elsewhere.

The problem needs to be addressed at root cause level, not moved on.

“These palms were stunning. Adding to biodiversity for sure plus, as all island and seaside people know, they are the best at dissipating wind. The sound of the wind in palm leaves is unique and was something to be enjoyed by all.”

Quite! But not enjoyed in that fashion...

H/T: Ian J via email

Ah, You Know What Will Help? Some Doggerel...

No, no, really!

Brighton Palace Pier has received criticism from some customers for not allowing dogs on the popular tourist attraction. One Trip Advisor reviewer, Darren_R1, even wrote a poem in protest, stating that dogs should be allowed on the attraction.

Oh no! Not poetry!  

... the management has defended the policy, stating that it is for the safety of both the dogs and the other customers.

But, but, someone's written poetry...!! 

A spokesman replied: "Lovely poem but a busy pier is not the place for dogs.

"The pier gets too busy and dogs get frightened, also health and safety and also relieving themselves on the deck and around the bins, who will clear it up?

"What if the dogs get into fights, there are too many risks involved with allowing dogs on Brighton Pier and so the rule is no dogs."

What next? Mime? 

Shutting The Kennel Door...

Downing Street says work is underway to try and reduce dog attacks following a spate of incidents in Greater Manchester and across the country. Now, Downing Street says police, councils and animal welfare experts are teaming up to explore ways to reduce dog attacks and promote responsible ownership.

“There have been some horrific cases and our thoughts and sympathies are with those that have been affected,” the Prime Minister’s official spokesman told PA.

...after the fighting breeds have bolted. 

One thing you could do is issue stronger guidance to police farces to use the tools and opportunities they have to ensure none of these things can do it again:

North Yorkshire Police have had to evacuate a village recreation ground near Selby after a dog attacked its owner. The force said: “Police were called to Thorpe Willoughby at around 10.26am on 30 May to a report of a large, aggressive dog that was biting its owner.

"The dog was eventually contained in a high fenced area of a local park and the park was evacuated."

Great! Even the Elmer Fudds of the northern force can't miss, surely? 

"Officers contacted a number of animal experts including veterinary practices, the RSPCA, local zoos and wildlife park to request assistance with bringing the dog safely under control." "

The dog, described as an American bulldog and weighing around 50 kilogrammes, was eventually sedated by a vet and safely moved to a kennel."

What a pity Shotgun Cop wasn't taking a well earned break in Yorkshire... 

Police have seized dangerous dog on the loose after a teenage girl was attacked. Cops in Port Clarence were hunting the XL Bully-type breed after the 15-year-old was mauled and seriously injured on Monday night.

A spokesperson for the force has since confirmed the dog, understood to be aged between four and five, has been seized.

Cleveland Police told The Mirror on Tuesday morning that no arrests had been made in connection with the attack and an investigation is ongoing into what happened.

What more is there to 'investigate'..? 

H/T: @By_Pets via Twitter and The Jannie via email