Looks Like The Three Degrees Got Back Together....

*innocent face*

Wha...?

Does no-one at the 'Mail' drive?

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Sunday Funnies...

No 1 seems a bit of a two-edged sword....

There's A Strange Familiarity...

Jessica, Charlie and his little sister Elsie, two, were on their way back from a family day out when they stopped at the McDonald's in Hampton near Peterborough, Cambs.

He had been holding his mother's hand but she turned round after feeling his hand slip out of hers to see the girl on top of him.

A woman, believed to be the girl's mum, was telling her to stop and allegedly said 'I'm sorry, she's autistic,' according to the mother.

Well, that's OK then. If you can't prevent her attacking children, why are you taking her into places crowded with them?

Jessica said the girl was 'hitting, scratching, biting. Down his back, his bottom, his legs.' She said: 'I leaned down and I was saying 'oh no, jump up'. As I got down to lift him up, I realised the girl was shaking her head and her teeth were in his back. He was obviously hysterical.

'Charlie was still crying. I managed to pull him away slightly but it was at least 30 seconds, and she was biting him all the way down his body as I dragged him.

'She was biting, hitting, scratching him. Then I fell back myself and had Charlie on top of me because I gave one last tug.'

Horrifying!

Jessica claims the police initially failed to investigate the incident which happened on July but have since made inquiries.

Sure, when it's too late. They should have been called by the McDonald's staff if the mother of the victim was too distraught, and the attacker detained for their arrival.

Jessica shared a post about the experience on social media, which has since been shared more than 7,000 times.

She wrote: 'I'm so angry! I'm so so very upset! How can my child go through this, and yet no one is going to be held responsible?

'What is this teaching him? Who is protecting him? I'm trying so hard to be understanding to every aspect of the situation, but it just doesn't seem right.'

She added: 'I just feel like Charlie is being failed and I just don't know what to do?!'

Have less 'understanding' and 'concern' for the attacker, and next time, draw blood, kick, punch, do whatever it takes! FFS, woman, it's your child at risk!

A Cambridgeshire police spokesperson said: 'This incident was reported to us and investigated.

'The family involved have since been identified and we are working with both families to deal appropriately with this matter taking into consideration the sensitivities and needs of the victim and girl.'

This story reads like every dangerous dog story I’ve ever read and reported on this blog: lack of concern or help from the ‘owner’, police indifference until the social media campaign, the portrayal of the attacker (by social media commenters) as somehow having been 'provoked'....

No doubt we'll soon be reading about another attack. Maybe next time the child victim won't be so fortunate to just have bites and scratches.

We Want To Get What We Pay For...

So great was the anxiety and paranoia inspired by the phantom tyre slasher that by January everyone in the village near Thirsk, North Yorkshire, seemed to be considered a suspect. Then the villagers turned detective.

In February electrician Chris Moores, 33, hid three tiny CCTV cameras in his garden shrubbery – and two weeks later the footage appeared to show a balding man in an overcoat walking his dog, and pausing to stab at the tyres of a grey Alfa Romeo.

 An inspiring, genuine community action!

They thought the police and Crown Prosecution Service would have no trouble getting a conviction for such an apparently open and shut case.

Oh, reader. You know only too well what's coming next, don't you?

They were wrong.

The prosecution of alleged tyre slasher Mr Richards has now collapsed in ignominy with the presiding magistrate accusing the police of “inexcusable” failure and declaring: “The bench has to make it clear that we are appalled at the way this case has been handled by the CPS and the police."

 Not for nothing are the CPS dubbed 'Couldn't Prosecute Satan'.

...the villagers of Carlton Miniott were furious. Confronting police officers outside court, grandfather Kevin McCarthy, 60, told them: “It’s been a balls-up from you guys from start to finish.”

Mr Moores, the man who had spent £250 on the cameras hidden in the shrubbery, told The Sun the police had seemed uninterested in the case throughout their ‘investigation’.

“We had to spoon-feed them the evidence and tell them what to do with it,” he said.

“Witnesses were lining up to give evidence but we were told they weren’t needed and information wasn’t followed up.

“It was embarrassing. All they had to do was get him charged and put before a court. They couldn’t even do that properly. The police showed no interest whatsoever. They just made a complete mess of it.”

The question has to be asked - why are we funding them?

You Could Give Him Fifteen Years, He Still Won't Learn...

The court heard how Ham needed money last year to buy drugs, when he first broke into the home of a 90-year-old victim. On November 17, he entered the pensioner's bungalow during the night, while she slept. He then carried out an "untidy" search of her bedroom, before emptying the contents of her handbag, leaving the mess across the room.

Then, after a period of non-offending, Ham needed more cash for presents for his child's birthday, and raided two stores in Hythe and Thornhill, but ended up with "not much at all", despite causing £76,000 worth of damage to the Hythe One Stop with the raid and commercial loss.

This lack of swag is considered mitigation, unbelievably!

Mitigating, defence barrister Richard Onslow said: "He ended up taking part in these escapades, and got some of the takings, which was really, not much at all."

*gobsmacked*

Presiding, judge Christopher Parker said that Ham's crimes were "foolish", despite hearing of Ham's troubled childhood. He told the court: "You have had a difficult start in life, but these crimes are foolish.

"There is a significant period of non offending between December and April, but then you find yourself in these positions of causing damage to these stores, resulting up to more than £70,000 worth of damage, plus commercial loss of course.

"You have to learn, and you will have time to think on that."

How much time?

Ham was given five years and ten months in prison.

Even if he were to serve all that - and we know he won't - I doubt it'd make a difference...

What Do These Incidents Have In Common?

A veteran shopkeeper in Bream, near Lydney, is mystified as to why he had a window shattered in apparent catapult attack by vandals.

Police believe a BB gun or catapult was used from Garrick House multi storey car park which shattered a pane of glass at Waitrose.

A cygnet was found dead in North Dorset after possibly being shot at with a catapult, say police. PC Rob Hammond, of Blandford Neighbourhood Policing Team, discovered the cygnet on the River Stour at Stour Meadows in Blandford on Saturday evening.

Well, none of them apparently warrant an armed response:

Nor increased police patrols.

I'm Not Sure Him 'Not Liking Dogs' Is The Reason, Somehow...

Residents in Astra Close stopped receiving post a month ago after a dog attacked a postman twice whilst he was trying to deliver letters and parcels.

Seems fair! Maybe a bit of social pressure will do the job the police obviously can't..?

Oh, but I forgot. This is Essex....

Daniel Wills, 33 from Astra Close, lives with Staffordshire Bull Terrier Blue, and says he has been having to make the trip to Hornchurch at least once a week to check if he has any post.

He said: “It’s really annoying.
“Why can’t they just find another postman who will deliver our post.

“If he doesn’t like dogs then he is doing the wrong job.”

Yeah, he probably does like dogs, but not when they are hanging onto his leg!

Another resident said: “I’ve only moved in a month ago and haven’t been to collect my post yet because it’s such an inconvenience.

“I can’t be bothered to go all the way to Hornchurch.

“I might have been sent in moving in cards or presents but I wouldn’t know because I don’t have the time to go down there.”

Well, you can't be all that keen to get post, then, can you?

Man Does Job, News At Eleven…

Rick Lamb was travelling on the 433 last week when he says a ticket inspector got on, fined a young girl and "forced" her off the bus.

Errr yes. And?

"This was despite her producing a valid (albeit low quality) child's Oyster Card," Mr Lamb said.

"Despite two other passengers offering to pay for the girl who was visibly extremely upset, the inspector angrily dismissed their grievances and threatened to call the police on the two passengers who were simply trying to help, also claiming that he would call the police if the girl in question would not leave the bus."

 That's what he's supposed to do.

But TfL’s director of compliance, policing and on-street services, Steve Burton, said the inspector was well within his rights as her card was not valid.

 Wow! Isn't it refreshing to see a company backing their employee for once? I wonder why...?

Ah!

But she wasn't the only person who the inspector had his sights set on that day. Mr Lamb himself was issued with a penalty fare for producing, what TfL deemed an invalid 'gold card'.

No wonder he was backing the fare evader!

"All drivers had approved the travel card for two and half months and suddenly I'm fined under the guise that 'oh, the drivers don't look hard enough, it is invalid' and 'I'm just following orders'," he said.

Yes, Nazi Germany was terrible, they wouldn't let you get away with fare evasion, eh, Rick?

Don't Poachers Want The Meat?

Poachers may have killed more than 20 deer, while others could still be roaming around injured, on farmland near Bewdley.

A distraught conservationist has revealed baby deer as young as three or four weeks old and a pregnant doe are among the animals which were shot at the weekend.

Initially it was reported that 15 animals had died.

But now Ed Brown, chairman of the Wyre Forest Deer Management Society, who helped recover the carcasses of 15 deer which had been shot on farmland near Kinlet, Bewdley says a gang of poachers could have “potentially killed at least 20”.

Not one carcass has been butchered. If this is 'poaching', it's a bloody strange sort of poaching!

PC Su Goddard, from West Mercia Police, wildlife officer for North Worcestershire, said: "We have launched a thorough enquiry into this incident and would appeal for anyone with information to contact us.

"At this time, we believe there is no wider risk to the public."

Strange thing to say...?