Sunday Funnies...

I wonder what stories the Secret Service agents looking after Joe Biden will have to tell... 

Normal Human Beings Don't Require Any Support At All...

A teenage mother who left her 20-month-old baby alone to die while she partied only received two hours of support a week from a charity, a hearing was told.

...to not do this.

YMCA DownsLink Group said they acted primarily as an accommodation provider for Verphy Kudi in the build up to her daughter’s death.

Yes, it's this case again. And not content with soaking up taxpayer resources without a live baby and working mother at the end of it, the State is about to splash out yet more of our money on a no doubt pointless exercise: 

Kudi pleaded guilty to manslaughter in March and was sentenced to nine years imprisonment on August 6. A full inquest into baby Asiah's death is due to be held at the end of January 2022.

Assistant coroner Karen Henderson said she expects the inquest to last between three and five days.

Gotta keep those legal aid shysters in BMWs! 

Peter Wilcock QC, defending Kudi, said it is “truly a tragic and devastating case”.

“She herself, the defendant, is both very young and we would submit very vulnerable,” he said.

I think the genuinely vulnerable person in this ghastly case is dead, Peter... 

Sentencing Kudi last month, Judge Christine Laing QC said:“It goes without saying that this is a particularly tragic case and it no doubt raises strong emotions in all who hear of it, but everyone should bear in mind that the charge I sentence you for is one of manslaughter, it being accepted that you did not intend to cause Asiah death nor to cause her really serious harm.”

What did this waste of skin think would happen if you left a baby alone for that long?  Another thing normal human beings know without need of State 'support'.

Signs Of The Apocalypse...

Doctors are being offered training to improve their bedside manner...

Well, it's about time!

...after dozens of patients complained about being ‘fat-shamed’ by NHS staff.

Wait, what?

Some took exception to being told that they were an unhealthy weight, needed to improve their diet or were too big to fit in scanners or have operations. The Royal College of Physicians said healthcare workers ‘must not be afraid’ to raise the issue because of the ‘very severe risks’ of obesity but they should discuss it ‘sensitively’ and avoid using ‘stigmatising language’.

How the hell do you point out to someone that the only scanner they will fit in is at Seaworld or London Zoo 'sensitively'..?

One doctor at Maidstone and Tunbridge Wells NHS Trust allegedly told a woman she was morbidly obese and it was her fault because of ‘the crap she eats’.

Maybe it was. What else should the doctor have told her? 

Tam Fry, of the National Obesity Forum, said: ‘A lot of people are in denial about their weight and doctors should not shy away from telling them home truths.

‘Some healthcare workers may need to improve their bedside manner but there will be some patients who take offence at being told they are overweight no matter how sensitively it is done.’

I can't believe I'm agreeing with Tam Fry of all people! 

*peers out of window for quartet of eerie horsemen*

I Hope They Take You (And Your Failed Parents) To The Cleaners...

A police officer's son who killed two men while drug-driving is being sued for more than £200,000 by one of their families.

Hang on..? Surely this isn't..? Yes. It is.

Magistrates spared Mr Coopey jail when he appeared in court and imposed costs of £105 which they said his parents could pay, but that the teenager should do chores around the house to make up for it.

However, Mr Imi's wife Sarah has since launched a civil action against Mr Coopey for compensation over the death of her husband, who leaves behind three children.

It was understood that Mr Shackley's family is also suing.

The best of British luck to you both, since British justice has failed you so abysmally. 

Oh, There Definitely Was A 'Need Or Purpose', Humza...

...it's bloody hilarious: 

The Scottish Health Secretary has been left unimpressed after a BBC journalist tweeted a video of him falling off a knee scooter while racing down a corridor at Holyrood Parliament.

Humza Yousaf said he wasn't sure there was a 'need or purpose' for the short clip to be shared by Glenn Campbell after it began receiving thousands of 'likes' on Twitter.

And it perfectly pricks the pomposity of this puffed-up little goon. And, as these things usually do, shows him up for what he is: 

Some social media users accused Mr Yousaf of hypocrisy after he previously said he 'couldn't wait to see the meme' after MP Douglas Ross fell over while acting as assistant referee during the Scottish Cup Final in 2018

He tweeted following the incident: 'Best moment of the 2nd half - Douglas Ross MP decks it a belter! Can't wait to see the meme...'

And also clearly not as someone fit for his role: 

Social media users pointed out that instruction manuals for the device available online repeatedly advise users to not travel at speed.

'We have a person in charge of a £15bn portfolio who hasn’t read the instructions,' wrote one alongside a screenshot of the manual which reads: 'Do not scoot at high speeds.'

Well, can't leave you without the video, can I?

   

Get the popcorn!

We Know Who's Really Paying, Recorder Cuthbert...

Mitigating for French, Nick Maggs said: “He accepts that it was him and he was responsible.

“The report writer asked why he didn’t admit it. His explanation was ‘well, my dad told me to’.

“That’s not a good explanation but one has to compare it to other defendants who are convicted at trial and maintain that position upon conviction. But now that he expresses some remorse is significant.”

Oooh, scraping the excuse barrel there, Nicky boy... 

Recorder Leslie Cuthbert said: “You participated in what can be described as a group attack on him, a simple member of the public who was trying to do his civic duty to prevent you and your two associates from stealing alcohol from Sainsbury’s.

“In return for him doing that courageous act you participated in punching and kicking him, fracturing his left eye socket and his left shoulder dislocated.”

And that calls for a spell in chokey, surely? Surely...?

Recorder Cuthbert said that French is “only just” not going to prison, giving him 23 months suspended for two years, plus 200 hours unpaid work and 15 days rehabilitation.

He also ordered French to pay £2,000 in compensation, plus £1,750 in costs.

From his well-paying job, I suppose? 

Perhaps We Can All Forgive Gavin Williamson, Now...

...especially you, Rashford:

Mr Irvine said: "Having reviewed the evidence, a hypothesis has been arrived at by the Metropolitan Police that this is a tragic case of mistaken identity. Is that right?"

"Yes, that's correct", Det Insp Simon replied.

"It is believed the shooter had wrongly believed David was somebody else he had a problem with," Mr Irvine added.

"Yes", the officer confirmed.

A forensic post-mortem gave the cause of death as gunshot wound to the head.

If they can't tell each other apart, how is anyone else supposed to? 

Chavs Gonna Chav...

A mother accused of killing her own children in a brutal motorway crash has gone on the run, with border control asked to place 'alerts' to ensure her return.

Mother-of-four Mary McCann, 35, of Derby, was due to appear before Aylesbury Crown Court today to answer two charges of causing death by dangerous driving.

She is set to stand trial over the deaths of her son Smaller, 10, and daughter Lilly, 4, after slamming her white Vauxhall Astra into a Scania HGV while driving on the M1 near J14 and J15 on Monday, August 9.

All I needed to know about this woman I learned from the social media picture the MSM grabbed when it happened...

The judge issued a warrant, not backed for bail, for her arrest saying he wanted the Home Office to put ports and airports on alert for her.

'It is most likely she will flee to Ireland,' he said.

Hmmm. Ireland, eh..? 

Much Like The Children In Those Images Did, I Imagine...

John William Green, known as Will Green, was head of corporate communications at Cleveland Police when he accessed indecent pictures of youngsters.

He was spared jail at Teesside Magistrates' Court today but as he left the building an attacker grabbed his head and his mask then chased him up the court ramp as Green shouted 'help, help'.

It says a lot about why police public communications are so dire, doesn't it?

The assault came to an end when security guards pinned the assailant down.

Hope they didn't hurry...

Superintendent Paul Waugh, of the force’s Directorate of Standards and Ethics said: 'The public may be concerned that a Cleveland Police staff member has been found to have committed these offences, but I hope our actions to bring this person before the courts provides reassurance and highlights that we do everything in our power to seek justice for these crimes, without fear or favour, even when the suspect works for the same police force.”

Not really, no. It's your job. What do you want, a cookie? 

Don't Worry, Lads, I Know A Way Out Of This...

Oh, the brute!

How awful!

But wait! Just identify as a woman and you can beat them with utter impunity! You'll even win awards for it...

...which just goes to show how utterly mad the world has become, doesn't it?