I, Too, Think We Should Ban Nuts On Planes...

...but not peanuts, people like you:

What are you most scared of? Perhaps snakes send a chill down your spine. Or heights leave your knees weak.

Heights, yes, I don't like them. But I don't let that fear rule my life. 

Peanuts may sound like an odd source of phobia, but they have taken on an absurd bogeyman quality for me since my daughter was taken to hospital by ambulance after eating peanut butter when she was six months old. Just the sight of a bowl on a pub bar, or their shells discarded on the pavement, can raise my heart rate – even when I’m not with her.

Nowhere is the sight of peanuts more confronting than at 30,000ft, especially now when millions are jetting back from their holidays. Travelling with a severely allergic child can be a nightmare for all sorts of reasons, but the idea you could be sat next to a passenger consuming the very thing that has hospitalised them is its own kind of hell.

As Tim pointed out, this is a you problem. Not an us problem. 

Most airlines will make an announcement asking passengers to avoid consuming nuts if you let them know that somebody in your party has a severe nut allergy. But I brace for impact when these announcements are piped out. On almost every flight there is at least one passenger who sighs or makes some inane comment, loud enough for everyone to hear, about how annoying it is.

When confronted with someone else's neurosis and entitlement, I'd be surprised if no one did that. 

I didn’t realise the right to eat nuts was a civil liberties issue. How utterly absurd.

Then you're as dumb as a brick. 

I am mystified by this mean-spiritedness. Allergies are not a lifestyle choice but a medical condition.

 It's a very good question, isn't it? 

Take a look at some of the comments under Chloë’s post and you’ll see what I mean. They are staggering in their stupidity. “Fly private or DON’T FLY AT ALL. Don’t make other people’s lives miserable just to please yours!” one reads.

Allergic people can’t be wrapped in cotton wool.

Good, we agree on that!  

Banning nuts on planes seems like a no-brainer.

To a person with no brain, yes. What are airline supposed to do, frisk people for them? 

Banning nuts on planes could send an important message to the broader public. That people with allergies should be able to travel without fear. That compassionate societies make accommodations.

We've made far to many accommodations to modern life and the inability of people to realise it doesn't revolve around them or raather, we've been made to!

.Another Day, Another Senseless Death...

Star Lane in Canning Town was shut in both directions between Manor Road and Durham Road at around 5am on Wednesday, September 9, with forensic teams seen working at the scene. A shopkeeper claimed the incident involved an elderly man who died after being bitten on the hand by a dog.

And yet, unlike the incident in Yorkshire, which quickly generated police appeals to the public and has resulted in a man being charges in short order, there's been little in the news - the 'Mail' has found a juicier story to worry like a bone from across the pond. 

He said: "A customer had a large dog which went for the man’s small dog.

It will be interesting to find out the breed, when - or if - he's evetually caught. 

Another shopkeeper said the man had been walking his small dog home from the park when the incident occurred.

A lot of shopkeepers in this area - did no-one have a suggrstion as to who the mystery man might bre, perhaps a regular customer?  Even Facebook has no commentd on th teo stories they have up. 

Hsve we become so used to the threat it's no longer newsworthy? 

I Think We Need More Tiers...

A mother-of-four has revealed how she was arrested in front of her screaming disabled children after a neighbour from hell fooled police into believing she was the victim of a violent broom attack. Ruzena Gaborova, 48, was left traumatised after spending 13 hours overnight in a police cell after a bitter neighbourhood row with mother-of-six Salina Begum, 47, spiralled out of control in Chatham, Kent. Ironically, Begum's lies were exposed by the very footage she had handed over to police as evidence of the 'assault'.

Because two just won’t cut it anymore! Here we have two different immigrants at war with each other, and the British state agents treat them very differently.

Begum, who has a previous conviction for harassment, was last month spared jail at Maidstone Crown Court as the judge handed her a 13-month sentence, suspended for 18 months, for perverting the course of justice.

Typical! 

Ms Gaborova told the Mail how she moved from Slovakia to Britain 16 years ago and has always been very close with neighbours, until Begum and her family moved in two doors down.

The court heard there was a history of hostility between Begum and Ms Gaborova with 'numerous allegations between the two going back and forth'. This included Begum claiming she was being harassed and racially abused. However, Begum was often shown to be the 'aggressor or instigator' so no further action was ever taken.

And despite this history, plod appear to have trated each new report by her afresh, paying no attention to her history. 

Begum, who was treated as the victim, alleged she had been violently assaulted and handed police footage supposedly showing her being hit with a broom by Ms Gaborova. Ms Gaborova was arrested the following day, but when she provided her own CCTV of Begum as the initial aggressor, police decided to take no further action.

Not wanteing to arrest Begum on suspicion of wasting police time, of course. Gabarova may have bren an immigrant herself, but she clearly lacked the melanin to matter much to our woke farces. 

Just two months later, Begum reported the alleged assault again and submitted the same video.

Didn't anyone notice? 

And then on May 18, 2023, she called the police again to claim she was the victim of another broom assault at the hands of Ms Gaborova. Ms Gaborova was arrested six days later at her home, in front of her children, at around 2.30pm. She was booked into police custody at 3.11pm and detained overnight until her release at 4.12am, the court heard. This adds up to just over 13 hours in police custody.

Shockingly, it would emerge that Begum had again used the same video from the incident in August 2022 - and that the supposed altercation on May 18, 2023, simply did not exist.

Oh, clearly they didn't notice - it must have been as familar as an old 'Cheers' rerun by this timr! 

According to KentOnline, Judge Robert Lazarus scolded Begum for wasting police time by making a 'false complaint about Ms Gaborova'. He added: 'I find it very difficult to trust much of what you have said.' 

'This is a serious offence but... there are sometimes such offences that are much more serious, and I don't think this offence is so serious that immediate custody is the only appropriate punishment.'

Well, no doubt, after all, his honour doesn't have to live next door to this mendacioud bitch, does he? 

Well, If It's A Firing Squad, Perhaps You'll Get One With The Blindfold...

An Egyptian television presenter pleaded for mercy and screamed 'I've never smoked a cigarette in my life!' as she was handed the death sentence on drug charges, according to local media.

Sarah Khalifa and 11 others were sentenced to death by hanging...

Oh, well. 

...on charges of manufacturing, promoting and trading synthetic drugs, as well as possessing and carrying firearms and ammunition without a licence.

I suspect that in Egypt, that latter is not considered as bad as the former. \well, I gurss she's a hopelessly naive woman who fell in with a bad lot and didn't have a clue about the possible consequences? 

Khalifa, 39, who is best known in Egypt for presenting 'Mission Impossible', a programme dealing with crime and security, was convicted by a Cairo court.

Oh, well!  

She wept during the sentencing, begging for 'mercy and humanity', the outlet claimed. Khalifa is also reported to have told the court how she was suffering with a tumour.

One excuse at a time love!  

The verdict is not final at this stage, and is subject to appeal.

I suspect she stands a good chance of an appeal being successful, especially if made direct to the Grand Mufti.  

Ruff Justice

A woman who was in charge of an out-of-control XL bully dog which killed her teenage cousin has avoided prison.Kelcie Reed, 24, received an 18-week prison sentence – suspended for 18 months – after 19-year-old Morgan Dorsett died when she was attacked by the large dog.

I had to scroll back pretty far on my blog, past all the others, to find this particular XL Bully fatality.  

Imposing the suspended sentence with a nine-month mental health treatment requirement, Judge Anna Richardson said: “This is a case that was utterly tragic for Morgan Dorsett’s family and it has also had a huge impact upon you. 

“I accept not a comparable impact, but a huge impact.

It comes as little surprise anymore when a white liberal female judge shows just why she's unsuited to that role - like XL Bully maulings, there's just so much evidence around...the only thing missing is some victim-blaming. 

The court heard the dog attacked Miss Dorsett when she suffered a seizure from the effects of taking cocaine.

Spoke too soon!  

Mr Willmott said there had been previous incidents with Prince where he had killed another dog and Reed had previously posted on Facebook asking for advice on training. “It was apparent this this dog had the capacity to cause considerable harm,” he said.

It was apparent by vitue of it's breed, long before anything else! 

Reed’s boyfriend held a Government exemption certificate for keeping an XL bully and the dog – that weighed up to 55kg – was muzzled and kept on a lead while in public.

Proof once again that possession of a piece of government-mandated paper means nothing to a person trying to stop a fighting-breed mutt weighing as much as a male leopard.

Miss Dorsett’s younger sister, Caeila Dorsett, said her family had many unanswered questions about what happened.

I'll bet they do! Like, why the leniency?  

Sarah Regan, defending, said Reed had no prior knowledge of previous incidents with Prince and the attack on the other dog had never been reported to the police. “What did happen was sudden and unexpected, and could never have been anticipated by her,” she said.

It could have been anticipated by anyone who wasn't stone stupid! 

Miss Regan said Reed had developed PTSD since the incident and was also caring for her nine-month-old baby.

Ah, not so stupid she didn't get herself knocked up so she could plead her belly.... 

Detective Sergeant Rich Glanville, from Avon and Somerset Police, said: “Morgan’s family have shown great courage despite experiencing such a terrible loss and we want to thank them for their patience and support through what’s been a really tough 18 months for them, while our investigation and court proceedings took place. 

“It’s truly devastating that not only have they lost a loved one, but that Reed has not given them the answers about what happened that night – answers they deserve to have. 

“This was a completely avoidable tragedy and was caused because Reed failed to have control over a dangerous breed of dog.”

A dangerous breed of dog that anyone can have as long as they get a piece of paper. A killing weapon, if you wanted to be sure to get away with murder. Almost as good at that as a car.

Plenty!

Are there any drinkable canned cocktails?

ALL canned cocktails are drinkable, some only once.

Premix cocktails are disproportionately marketed to young drinkers – gateway booze, if you will, as the likes of Bacardi Breezer pineapple was for me – and often have a one-note, cloying taste.

My own favourites are Moth margaritas and M&S margaritas. 

Perhaps more than any other theme, writing about premix cocktails has made me confront the very question of why we drink alcohol. Take me as an example.

Twenty-five years on, and my palate is a different place, and I welcome the notes and nuances of a well-mixed drink. I now drink alcohol to savour it, and I like what I’m drinking to give me pause; it doesn’t need to be hard work, but I do like it to make me think.

Why did you drink it before, then?  

That’s not to say there aren’t premix cocktails out there that can do this, and I tasted several that I found interesting. The Reina Mezcalita in today’s pick, for instance, is delicious – smoky mezcal meets zippy lime soda – and I’d happily sip it from the can in the park or, even better, from a glass rimmed with Tajìn at home. Whitebox and Moth both produce good iterations of premix drinks (and in reassuringly small, potent formats) and are widely available in supermarkets; they feel a bit more grown up, too, both on the sugar front and because their ABVs skew higher, which you can taste (in the premix realm, quality seems to align with a higher ABV).

Must admit to always adding a little extra tequila to mine, so I guess it could be higher. 

Marks & Spencer has the widest own-brand selection, some of them better than others, but, on the whole, its premium Served range has more character and acidity (a good thing) than you’ll find elsewhere – I enjoyed the mojito and the lychee martini especially.

Hmm, might try the martini, if I ever see it in my local branch. 

Because They Aren't Coming From War-Torn Countries

 

Garang*, 18, is one of thousands of refugees recently caught in the crossfire of French riot police, who threw teargas and beat them with batons when they boarded dinghies to travel to the UK. He is a victim of a war in his home of South Sudan – and one being fought on France’s northern shores. He borrows a phone from anyone with credit who will let him try to call home, where his family is displaced. Garang doesn’t have enough money on the £10-a-week allowance from the Home Office to make a long-distance call. All he wants is to speak to his mum, to hear her voice, and let her know he is alive and safe in the UK despite the violence he has faced.

How nice of the Home Office to extract some of the money I pay in taxes for the upkeep of the country to gice a criminal a mobile phone... 

On Thursday, stopping more people like Garang from reaching the UK in small boats topped the “to do” list of the prime minister, Andy Burnham, and the French president, Emmanuel Macron, when they held talks.

And talk is all they are likely to do about it.. 

How much further can the war on refugees go?

Much, much further, of course - it's hardly a war, it's little more than a skirmish, and we're losing! 

The UK government is increasingly using military terms such as “surge” and “neutralise” in relation to small-boat crossings.

Timr to drop the 'terms' then, and use military forces instead. 

These images have fuelled anger, with some Britons believing that most refugees are shunning other countries to beat a path to our door.

They clearly are, because you've just proved that point, haven't you? Why did Garang not phone his mum in Sudan to tell her he was safe in France?  

In fact, the number of irregular arrivals to Europe in the last year has dropped significantly, and the UK ranks 16th in Europe per head of population for asylum claims. According to this newly released data, a majority of asylum seekers do not arrive in small boats – 41% were already in the UK and held a visa or other leave prior to claiming and 20% arrived by other routes, many likely to be clandestine means, such as lorries.

In other words people lie on entry, or when their visa runs out? Why would we be happy to keep people like this in thr country? If you invite friends over for supper, and they decide they aren't going to leave and annouce their intention to live in your house instead Diane, is that acceptable to you or would you be calling the police to have them removed? 

Nigel Farage and Reform UK have poisoned the public discourse on people fleeing war, people who run because they don’t want to be killed or to kill others.

If they've decided they 'don't want to kill others' it's not for long at all, is it? So many of them find the urge again that the government finds it polically useful not to keep track.

If They Weren't Essential, Would They Be Doing Them?

The British army has been ordered to halt non-essential training exercises in an effort to save money. Troops preparing to be deployed or on deployments, those who are on standby or in a quick-reaction role will continue to train as normal. But collective training exercises for UK-based units are being suspended for most of this year amid budget pressures.

I assume any training the Army gives its recruits is essential...

Andy Burnham is under pressure to increase defence spending to 3% of national income by 2030, rising to 3.5% by 2035.

Well, this is the wrong direction to go, Andeh... 

The chancellor, John Healey, resigned from Keir Starmer’s government as defence secretary in June, in protest against what he argued was the then prime minister’s failure to adequately fund defence.

 And we all cheered a principled member of Starmer's government at last. We should have known better!

But in his new post in No 11 Downing Street, Healey has made clear he will wait until next year’s spending review before presenting a plan to meet Labour’s pledge of devoting 3.5% of GDP to defence by 2035.

 Guess it wasn't such a deeply held belief in the necessity of our armed forces after all. Just another ruse for promotion. 

That Tune's Familiar: Parody Songs

Wasn't sure whether to include this one, as the tune's original and not a skit on an actual song, but the animation is spot on and it’s so bloody fitting for 2026  I’m including it regardless!

Ouch!

 

...finger on the pulse, that's our Matt!