"I asked under what law did I have to close and they didn't know."

'When I got to the station they didn't know what to charge me with. On the board where they write things like "mugging" or "burglary", for me, they wrote something like 'shopkeeper'.

I was in a cell for a couple of hours before they let me leave. To be fair the officers in the station were great, it was just the ones who came to the shop.'

It would almost be funny, if it wasn't for the growing realisation that the police are not only ignorant of the law, but also that there's widespread confusion amongst those who are supposed to guide them in the interpretation of it!

The Chartered Institute of Environmental Health, whose members work for councils, and are responsible for enforcing the new rules, said: 'There does seem to some confusion over what should be closed and what shouldn't. Vaping shops are self-identifying as health care and staying open.'

If there's 'confusion', what are you doing about it?

'Our people are getting in touch with businesses to ask them what grounds they are open because there seems to be a feeling the legislation is open to misinterpretation.'

All legislation is - it needs to be tested in a court of law. You know, the ones that are scaling back right now...

'We're finding quite a few businesses open when they should be closed, and closing when we catch them and saying they will stay closed and then re-opening the next day.'

They've realised the police can't be everywhere. And are, frankly, making no attempt to be where they are most needed in favour of low-hanging fruit, like they always do...

The UK vaping industry has urged the Government to exempt its outlets, claiming it would be a counterproductive move that could place a further strain on the NHS.

Since vital services like chemotherapy appointments are being postponed in these times, they have a very good point. Do they want to be overwhelmed by people with issues caused by the closure of shops they rely on?

"Please Put Me Out Of A Job!"

Something that's becoming far more evident in these sad times is that it's not just the paid government shills that want a job deciding for others how they should spend their money, or indeed their lives:

A courier has begged Brits to stop ordering 'tat' online during the coronavirus crisis, after claiming she is having to deliver more non-essential parcels than ever before.

The self-employed delivery driver, 40, recently shared an image of a pile of 120 packages she was required to take to a single housing estate in Bury, Greater Manchester.

She's getting out of the house and working, classed as a 'front line service' and....she's complaining? There's a lot of people who'd like to be in your shoes right now, love!

She claims this is far more parcels than she was delivering on a standard day before the Covid-19 lockdown and has slammed people using their time at home to go on web spending sprees.

What, exactly, are they supposed to do? They can't go to the shops, can they?

'I've delivered Superdrug packages which I'm sure are full of handwash, and educational items from places like The Works - all that is totally fair enough.'

Oh, how magnanimous of you! I didn't realise we'd elected you The Arbiter Of Value, I must have missed a memo.

'But when people are ordering clothes online, that is madness. I don't understand where they're going in this stuff anyway at the moment?' 

Probably nowhere. Perhaps they are reordering their wardrobe for when the lockdown lifts. But there's one far more important question: What the hell business is it of yours!?

'The worst thing is, I have to go back to the same homes three days later to pick up the items when people decide they want to return them anyway.

'Shoppers are not thinking about the impact they are having.'

Are you thinking about the impact you're having, unnamed delivery driver? By setting yourself up as arbiter of what other people can spend their money on?

And then, there's Danny:

Danny is an idiot. Don't be like Danny...

Essex Police Farce Are Way Ahead Of You, Neil!

Of course, it all depends on who they are asked to challenge:

According to the resident, who was on her daily, isolated stroll when she clocked the rule-breaking group, she also saw police officers circle the congregating men.

But, to her surprise, she says they failed to take action or issue any warnings and drove away, leaving other onlookers feeling let-down.

"When I saw the police drive off, I was surprised and annoyed as this didn’t show the public that they are doing everything they can to help," she said. "They drove around the road and then just drove off without even going near them."

The only surprise here is that she was surprised...

I Don't Much Fancy These Odds...

...do you?

Hmmm....

Tweet Of The Month

Well played, Co-Op man, well played...

Post Title Of The Month

AlJahom on the EU pressure to interfere with internet access:

And The Champ briefly comes out of retirement to note the corona virus effect on another modern virus:

Quote Of The Month

DumbJon on the way COVID-19 posed a challenge for the Open Borders crowd:

"The left has spent a hundred years sneering at World War I generals and their cold-blooded decisions to keep throwing away lives with hopeless, head on attacks. Now, suddenly, open borders are in the firing line and these people are all but giving out white feathers to anyone who questions the sanity of Italian citizens being locked down and unable to go anywhere.... except Heathrow.

Hey, I consider The Omega Man to be an underrated conservative classic, but I don't want to live in it!"

Post Of The Month

A tie this month. Longrider exposes the insanity of the anti-smoking lobbie's policies while Squander Two makes a welcome return to discuss risk assessment...

"How Dare They Say We Are Out Of Touch With People!"

"Why, they don't even understand how important gender issues are!"

Congratulations, Bas. In a very tough field, you've come across as a prize example of why the UK public are now looking at senior officers with even more thinly veiled contempt than usual.

Pretty soon, the veil is going to drop completely.

Who Are You To Decide What's 'Essential'..?

Britons have brazenly flouted Boris Johnson's strict instructions not to leave home other than for essentials, by stocking up on homeware and DIY equipment.

Good for Britons, I say! I thought we were supposed to 'never, never, never shall be slaves'!

Shoppers in Stockton-on-Tees have been spotted emerging from B&M with a variety of non-urgent items including a lava lamp, paint a houseplant and doormats.

So what? So bloody what?! I went to Tesco yesterday, got essential food items and....a new houseplant!

When can I expect the public shaming to begin?

B&M has remained open as it sells essential products including food, groceries and pet food, but many shoppers appeared to stock up on other goods inside the store.

While you're picking up your dog food, you pick up some paint to do some DIY while you're stuck at home. What's wrong with that?

The flagrant disregard for the strict orders further risks spreading coronavirus as the Government desperately wants the public to remain at home.

How? If you're already there anyway!?