Beware Of 'Unknown Groups', I Guess...

A very modern stabbing event:

Five teenage boys have suffered serious injuries following a stabbing at a Halloween party. The victims, three aged 16 and two 17, were hurt after an 'unknown group' gained entry to a property in Eastleigh, Hampshire, on Saturday night.

Police were called just after 10.30pm and found the five boys with injuries described as 'serious'.

A description of the injuries, however vague, yet not of the perpetrators of the stabbing? Well that tells its own story, eh, Reader? 

Hampshire Police said no arrests have been made and appealed for anyone with information – or who may have attended the party – to come forward. A nearby resident's daughter, who said she had been in contact with one of the victims, said she heard people 'jump the fence and start stabbing'.

Only heard, not seen?  That's handy,

One local man added he was awoken by police knocking on his door at 1.30am asking for more information.

That would guarantee I wouldn't give them any if I had it... 

Senior investigating officer Detective Chief Inspector Elizabeth Pirie said: 'We are already hard at work identifying anyone who was at the party who may be able to assist our enquiries, whether that be having directly witnessed what took place, having filmed any footage which may be relevant, or who may be able to help us identify the unknown group. 'I understand the response the local community may have to hearing about this incident this morning, and I do not underestimate the impact our scenes will be having on those living in the area. 'These scenes are vitally important for our enquiries and we are grateful to the understanding of our communities whilst we work to establish the facts.'If you were at the party and have not spoken with officers yet, or you have any CCTV, mobile phone, dash cam or doorbell camera footage covering Park Road and the surrounding area, then please get in touch.'

Why not ask for evidence from TikTok as well, since the most likely culprits for this sort of crime are keen to also provide filmed evidence 

Liz Jarvis, MP for Eastleigh, wrote on X: 'My thoughts are with the victims and their families and all those affected by the incident in Chandler's Ford last night, and my thanks go to our local police and emergency services for their prompt response. 

'It's important not to speculate or share unverified information.'

The concern shown for the identity of the perpetrators and the reluctance of the police to issued desriptions tells it's own story. 

Update: Two suespects arrested And they are 'from Southampton'. There's a relief, eh? 

Did She Misread The Job Spec?

A former criminology lecturer who styles herself as 'Britain's poshest thief' could be deported after a crime spree running into several thousands of pounds, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

I guess she misread the 'criminology' part... 

The Home Office has told Polish-born Pauline Al Said, 36 - who has been given a suspended jail term - that she will be kicked out of the country if she fails to launch an appeal by next month.

Thus pretty much guaranteeing that she'll lodge one with one of their ambulance chasing friends, of course. 

Al Said, who worked at Bath Spa University, was told her claims to stay in the UK on human rights grounds had been dismissed after being found guilty of shoplifting offences to the value of £12,000.

Some of them apparently Le Creuset items, which surely takes some doing give how heavy the damn things are!

Al Said's mother and sister live in the UK. She was granted indefinite leave to remain in 2021 and said deporting her would breach her human rights.

But a Home Office official concluded that 'the public interest in deporting you outweighs your right to a private and family life'.

Well done that HO official! Good to know there’s at least one normal one in the bunch, eh, Reader?

Just Learn To Ignore Them!

A Christmas fair has been forced to ditch its live reindeer in a 'woke' row over animal welfare. Organisers of Richmond Christmas Fair in North Yorkshire had initially advertised that actual reindeer could feature at this year's event on Sunday, November 29.

Once again, an organisation folds like a paper napkin instead of telling these fun-sponges to take the sex and travel option, thus emboldening them and practically guaranteeing they will find something else to freak out about, perhaps the selling of meat at the fair next time…and what about the people who had wanted to come and spend their money at the fair because of the reindeer?

However, the suggestion caused an uproar from eco zealots on social media and led to the booking of the animals being cancelled.The decision has now angered parents who had promised their children the chance to see a real-life reindeer for the first time.

As the parents are council rate payers, and the lunatics on line probably aren’t, and may not even be UK citizens, I fail to see why the council shouldn’t prioritise them. But then I think of the sort of feeble weak-willed little pipsqueaks that staff council offices, and realise that’s a futile hope.

The event, part-funded by York and North Yorkshire Combined Authority, is run annually by Richmond Business and Tourism Association. They said in a statement:'The decision was made to protect the hard-working volunteers from undue harassment and stress in the lead-up to the event and also to protect the enjoyment of the day for everyone from protests that were building.'

And just to forestall any blowback from the business who’s livlihood they are endangering: 

'We would like to reassure everyone that this decision does not reflect any concerns about the company we had booked,' they added. 'Throughout the process, we found them to be professional, knowledgeable and clearly dedicated to the welfare of their animals.'

Then why didn’t you stick to your guns, and tell the mad animal rights nutters to go fuck themselves? 

Well, Talent at Kickyball Doesn't Often Go Hand in Hand with Brains

Former Premier League footballer Jermaine Pennant says he needed more than 50 stitches after being mauled by a dog.

The 43-year-old was walking his two dogs in north London last week when he was attacked by a German Shepherd. The former Liverpool and Stoke City winger said the dog latched on to his leg and refused to let go as he tried to protect his own dog, King.

And what breed was King? An Akita - a Japanese hunting breed bred to take on bears and wolves . So why did he feel the need to try to protect it?

He added that King was unhurt, but did not give details about the German Shepherd. He said he declined to report the attack to police.

Oh, that’s not terribly suspicious in any way, is it? 

That Tune's Familiar: Parody Songs

No parody song compilation would ever be complete without the acclaimed master, Weird Al. Most would vote for his splendid 'Star Wars' version of American Pie, but thois one's my personal favourite.

Never Change, 'Guardian'

A review of a completely AI generated tv show on Prime generated this gem:

*sigh*

She Didn't See This Coming!

 If you laugh at this, you're going to Hell. And I'm going right along with you!

H/T: Dave Ward via email

Sunday Funnies...

 Ony 15? Pretty sure there are more than that just in the UK alone....

Why Are We Worried About Food Security, And Not About Food Purity?

What’s worrying French supermarket bosses should be prompting British ministers to action. On Sunday, hackers forced up the temperatures of refrigerators in hundreds of food stores across France to as high as 50C, resulting in waste and fires. Beyond the immediate destruction and inconvenience, it raised the prospect of other malicious actors finding new ways to play havoc with the food chain.

 Well, how stupid is it to sync all your fridges together and not password protect them?

Only weeks before, 150 experts together warned the British government that it does not have a plan to feed people in a crisis ­– and that the west is entering an era in which not only disruption but the weaponisation of food is a real possibility.

If so, the government has opened the door when they sanctioned actions like these.

The Covid pandemic was a salutary reminder of how vulnerable modern systems are – a shock for consumers used to strawberries in October.

i remember no lack of strawberries in the first lockdown, or the second. In fact, no shortages of anything, even the infamous toilet rolls. 

One issue is overall supply in the UK, which imports about 40% of its food. But affordability, logistics, distribution and nutrition are also essential components of food security.

But not knowledge of whether your meat is religiously slaughtered, of course. Or whether it contains an additive you don’t need and would rather not consume. 

The government has encouraged households to stockpile several days’ worth of tinned goods and bottled water in case of an emergency.

As long as you have the room to store it all in, of course.  

Real improvement requires a structural shift away from the “leave it to Tesco” approach decried by Prof Tim Lang, a leading food-policy expert.

Why wouldn't we want to leave it to them? They know what they are doing, after all -who else should we leave it to?

Geographical distribution – including relocalisation of food production – is also central. Almost 95% of retail food comes via 131 food-distribution centres. Disruption to just one supermarket chain’s infrastructure could have a mammoth impact.

Experts have rightly called for food supply shortages and disruption to be included as risks in their own right in the national security risk assessment. There is also a strong case for a dedicated national food council to focus on food security.

Oh, the State? Well, I think you can imagine how much I think of that idea! 

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