Bloody misogynist right-wingers, denying a feminist shibboleth like th...Oh hang on, 'Guardian' letters page? Really?
I write about the recent coverage of the Fordingbridge case (Court of appeal to review rape sentences of three teenage boys, 26 May). I experienced a remarkably similar crime over 20 years ago: same number and age of perpetrators, same incident, same court outcome.
Still, I’m worried by some of the discourse for the girls in question and others who have experienced similar. There have been comments in print and social media which, in attempting to emphasise the severity of the crime, have said things like “their lives are ruined” or “they’ll never heal”.
Yes, that’s been the case for some time, why, when the perpetrators are from an identity group, do you want this not to be the case?
Now, on the one hand, the impact on my life can hardly be overstated. I’ve struggled to make healthy decisions for myself, had a number of harmful coping mechanisms, and spent many years either feeling numb or creating or fabricating problems in the present because, surely, the pain I’m feeling can’t still be a result of what happened. I’ve allowed people to treat me very poorly and struggled to see it, subconsciously modelling a template that had been set.However, to say that my life is ruined? Hardly. I have many wonderful friendships, a successful career in a field I’m passionate about and I’ve travelled the world.
The girls in the Fordingbridge case – and others in a similar situation – are going to need a lot of support, time and space to feel a lot of things (I would advise them to seek out places and people that provide these, and to give time and space to themselves too), but I hope they can know that there is hope for the lives ahead of them.
Its a measure, I suspect, of how cynical I’ve become, that I firmly believe that we’re the perpetrators of this crime white men of Christian Anglo Saxon heritage, not only would we not be seeing members of the lanyard classes writing in to the ‘Guardian’ about it in this fashion, they wouldn’t be published if they did!

