They're Not Even Homophones, 'Mail'..!

/facepalm

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Wait, Only One..?

They clearly aren't looking hard enough!

Sunday Funnies...

So, we'll likely never see another Concorde...

"It's Your Fault For Wanting To Stay Warm!"

The problems stem from a decision by Falkirk Council to install new, eco-friendly boilers in around 900 council properties over the past ten years, in a project costing £6 million.

The homes were previously heated by coal fires and storage heaters. Instead, the Thermaflow boilers use electricity to heat water and warm homes — which means residents don't need gas.

Hurrah for the Greens! We're all saved from glob...

Oh.

On this deal, they were charged two different rates. They paid 7p per kilowatt hour (kWh) for their heating, and 12p/kWh for powering appliances and lighting.

But the supplier has since hiked the prices, to 16p/kWh and 18p/ kWh respectively — rates described by one expert as 'absolutely outrageous'.

On top of this, residents are now finding that they are barred from switching to another deal because the way their meters were set up means they are not compatible with most other tariffs on the market. So, to switch to a new deal, they would have to pay as much as £250 for an electrician to change their meter.

Well, of course! If you get to choose, you're the consumer. If someone else chooses for you, you're the open wallet waiting to be pilfered.

It's why public sector contractors can charge £1000 to move a computer from one desk to another...

A Scottish Power spokesman says: 'These customers are not prevented from switching, all suppliers have an obligation to provide a tariff to support these meter types. To address the root cause of the problem, that many customers are using high levels of energy, we're working with Falkirk Council and making a £1 million fund available for energy efficiency and insulation measures.'

When someone's selling something, and claims that high demand for that something is a 'problem', normal people smell a rat.

A council spokesman confirmed an independent contractor was visiting homes to review boiler performance, but had not yet identified any significant issues.

Because there's nothing wrong with the boilers, except it's cold in Scotland and people want to use them...

George Curtis, of Thermaflow, insists the boilers are not to blame and puts the soaring bills down to energy providers hiking prices and residents using boilers incorrectly.

How dare they expect to use them to keep warm? And despite this disaster, are second thoughts being had by the state?

Reader, they are not.

More Woke Gaming...

Which word? 'Planet'? 'Journey'?

It ain’t perfect, but it’s got heart. It’s a succinct and loving throwback to the Metroid Prime series that fills a pretty specific niche in a sea full of service games that want to become your part-time job. But I have to be honest, I hate seeing the word “savage” in a game about exploration.

Oh. Of course.

My eyes rolled right the fuck out of my head when I read the title of this game at its reveal at the 2018 Game Awards. I know I sound like a wet blanket, but just… hear me out.

I have to admin, the tem 'wet blanket' wasn't the first to spring to mind. But this is a family blog...

The word savage has a long history being used to justify violent behaviour by colonisers.

*sighs*

I’m not asking for Journey to the Savage Planet to have some super poignant message at every turn, but according to Hutchinson, the game is meant to have a “tone of sort of early science-fiction of hopefulness.” But it’s worth asking whose hope it is we’re talking about.

The hope of gamers that this will be a game with few bugs and a sensible XP system?

I’m not going to die because of the title of this game or its story’s lack of conviction. Like I said, this ain’t new. I even thought the game was pretty fun! But that “emotional purchase” Hutchinson talks about hits a little differently when history paints some of us as savages – Columbus Day is still a national holiday.

And always will be.

Why Not Just Re-Use The Other Reports..?

Ian Cliff, representing Lee, told the court that he had been remanded in custody since he was arrested in January.

He also told the court that Lee was on his “third strike” having committed drugs crimes before the incident.

Then he's going d...

Oh.

Mr Cliff asked Judge Samantha Leigh (Ed: *groans*) to delay the sentencing for six weeks to allow for a report to be prepared into Lee’s situation.

What's another report going to tell her that the others didn't?

Judge Leigh agreed to adjourn the sentencing hearing until the week commencing March 23 at the same court.

By which time, when she eventually gets around to passing a sentence, it'll probably have to take into account the time on remand, and he'll walk.

Straight back to his spot to deal drugs again.

They Don't Do It On Their Own Doorstep...

A Bromley businesswoman responsible for numerous rubbish bags filled with food waste dumped in a skip hired by another trader has been fined.

A good old Bromley name, I assume..?

Fikriye Halil of Ebury Close, Keston...

Ah.

...appeared at Bromley Magistrates’ Court and pleaded guilty to the fly-tipping incident was ordered to pay a total of £1198 in fines and costs.

Two men were caught on CCTV depositing 12 black bags in the early hours of May 21, making off in a vehicle registered to Ms Halil.

Stupid to let them use the vehicle. But not so stupid as to make sure they dumped it well away from her own £1mil property.

Speed Kills!

...unless it's us police, then it's perfectly fine, citizen!

A police driving instructor clocked speeds of 101mph in a 30mph area, a court heard.

PC Paul Brown, 48, of Norwich, denied 16 driving offences while in an unmarked police BMW X5.

But wait, really, I mean, how can they possibly catch criminals if they can't keep up with them? After all ...

Oh. Hang on.

The court heard PC Brown had asked to borrow the car from Norfolk Police's driving school in Wymondham to attend a meeting at City College Norwich on 30 April 2019.

I've been to some criminal meetings in mt time, but none that justified those speeds...

Footage showed him overtaking traffic at high speed on Newmarket Road, going through red lights and reaching 122mph on the A11.

At least this one had his lights on. That's something, I suppose.

He was cleared of the charges after telling the court he was carrying out continuous professional development (CPD) - a mandatory requirement.

Well, well, well...

PC Brown argued he was lawfully exempt from traffic laws as he was carrying out his CPD and the court heard he was "shocked" to have faced charges.

It was heard there was no national or local policy as to how CPD should be carried out.

Really? I though policy was paramount in the public sector?

Norfolk Police Federation welcomed his acquittal. Chairman Andy Symonds said: "He was perfectly entitled in law to use his exemptions because he was using CPD.

"There needs to be some clear expectations and guidance given to officers because there's a risk another officer could find themselves prosecuted.

"Luckily and rightly the right result was received."

Was it?

H/T: Peter Wells via email

I Think Someone Needs A Dictionary....

They could look up the word 'rehabilitation' in it, for a start.

Benje Howard, also known as Kingdom Rapper, said he spent much of his childhood with the wrong people, becoming involved with gangs at a young age.

Who better to teach young people to steer clear of the wrong path in life..?

He will be working with up to 16 inmates serving time for assault, knife crime, gang and drug offences.

He told Nottinghamshire Live: "It is a music project with the inmates and we are going to record an album.

"They have stories too, even though they have committed a crime.

"They will already have a knowledge of rapping."

Yes. I just bet they do! So...why do they need more 'teaching'..?

A spokesman for the Ministry of Justice, which runs HMP Nottingham, said: "Kingdom Rapper has done work with HMP Nottingham over the last few months and we are looking at another project with him but it is too early to say what it will look like."

Oh, I don't think it is, somehow....

"Women Hardest Hit!" Pt7823549

Earlier this year my daughter’s primary school, in a laudable quest for eco-credentials, banned all plastics. No bags. No bottles. No cling film. No juice cartons. No plastic packaging of any kind. That included all birthday treats, too. The cakes or sliced-up tray bakes must now be home-baked and arrive in a reusable box.

Of course, no one complained about this publicly. What are we, monsters?

No, idiots, for putting up with this control freakery....

But once again it’s the lives of mothers (mostly) that get more complicated, our to-do lists subtly longer, our mental load gaining another item (or three).

Then you should stop meekly acquiescing, shouldn't you?

What happened to 'I am woman, hear me roar (at the Green fruitcakes and their endless virtue signalling)!'..?

It won’t take much longer to make an oaty bar, but who buys the ingredients? Who will clean up afterwards? Yes, I can bake cupcakes, but, you know, it’s another thing to do after a long day at work and not all women like to bake.

You have noticed that every supermarket - and even Greggs! - sels the things ready-baked, haven't you?

Once you start looking, you notice that much of the urgent planet-saving work is falling to women.

Waaah! Waah! That's because you're too stupid to balk at doing it!

Eradicating plastic from a school is a commendable aim. But perhaps if we put just as much effort into levelling the domestic playing field, it wouldn’t feel like such a chore. Dads want to save the planet, too — let’s use the eco-crusade to speed up the rate at which they step up at home.

Or...maybe you could both band together and tell the school where to get off, instead?