Their Powers Of Deduction Are Incredible...

A 92-year-old retired dental nurse was seriously hurt after being mowed down in the street by a man on a mobility scooter.

Mrs Wicken’s daughter Helen Lee, 57, from Sunbury-On-Thames, said the rider stopped to check on her but left when other witnesses arrived. She said that the pensioner cried, “I’m in so much pain ... he hit me from behind, I didn’t even see him” before two people came to her aid.

Mrs Wicken is still receiving treatment in hospital and Mrs Lee says the family are considering legal action against the scooter rider, if they can identify him, after police deemed it an accident.

If it had been a retired police officer mown down, do you think they'd have been so quick to dismiss it?

And...so what if it was an accident? Don't they have a duty of care to find this idiot to prevent more 'accidents'?

Pity She Didn't Do It Before The Birth...

Defending, Paul Mendelle QC said Brazil's mother had taken her own life when he was 10 years old and that he was 'a deeply damaged individual who has been damaged by his traumatic early life'.

Reading a statement from Brazil, he said: 'I'm very sorry for what happened to this lady. I feel really bad and now I have to live with it.'

'Living with it' doesn't seem to have been that much of a problem for him:

Brazil, of Epsom, Surrey, has 46 previous convictions for 79 offences including battery, burglary and sexual offences, the court was told.

Still, he was 'remorseful' according to his brief. So that must count for somethi...

Oh!

Brazil told Judge Jonathan Black to 'f*** your mum's c***' and stormed from the dock as he was jailed for 20 years and three months with an extended licence period of three years.

Should have called him back and added another few years.

Trust, But...Wait.

A shop worker stuffed thousands of pounds worth of notes in his pants from the safe.

Chris Lam was caught on camera taking the money from the Cex shop in Western Road, Brighton.

Ooops!

It was just months after he was sacked for stealing thousands of pounds from Cotswold Outdoor Co where he invented fake receipts.

Wait, what? Why did Cex employ him then?

“It was not reported to the police, but he was dismissed.”

Ah. But wait!

He was previously jailed for four months in 2011 for fraud, and was cautioned for theft by an employee in 2008.

/facepalm

Judge David Rennie said he had been “thoroughly dishonest”, but gave Lam six months to prove his sincerity about paying back the money.

/doublefacepalm

Jason Halsey, defending, said Lam made full admissions to the thefts at the first opportunity, and said he is currently in work, earning £23,000 per year.

WHO IS EMPLOYING HIM? WHO?!?

He told Lam: “You have been thoroughly dishonest on a number of occasions in your life. You are saying all the right things, but I would say the same if I were facing prison.

“If you pay back the money it will be an impressive response that I would consider carefully.

“There may be better ways of managing your problems which led you to take stupid decisions.”

You could cut his thieving hands off? Maybe there's something to this sharia law thing after all?

The Price Of Safety Is Eternal Vigilance

...or as Tim put it the other day, "As the Stasi knew well, there are always narks...":

Two men were arrested over the weekend after passengers overheard them talking about knives.

BTP officers boarded a train at Wimbledon station at 5pm on August 10 following a report of two men discussing carrying knifes and theft.

One of the men, aged 24, was detained at the scene and arrested on suspicion of possessing a knife and theft.

The second man, also 24, fled onto the train tracks. He was found in nearby Cromwell Road and was arrested on suspicion of trespass.

More of this, please!

No, No, There's No Proof It's Harmful...

Statements from four of Ahmed Nur’s friends were read out at the inquest today by the coroner, Mary Hassell, at the inquest at St Pancras coroner’s court.

Their evidence laid bare the stress and trauma Ahmed Nur was going through before his death. As well as dealing with the distress of being imprisoned and tortured as a child in Eritrea before he fled, he was constantly worrying about his family, especially his younger brother, who was in prison in Egypt, and his older brother, who was in Sudan. He felt he should be providing support for both of them but was unable to do so.

His friends said he turned to alcohol and cannabis.

Because that helps!

After he was stopped and searched by the police, he became convinced that because he was smoking cannabis he was going to have his refugee status revoked and would be arrested and imprisoned for a long time and deported back to Eritrea. He believed that he was being followed, that there were videos about his drug use on YouTube, and that his drug use was being broadcast by newsreaders on the BBC and by TV sport commentators when he watched football matches.

QED

Tough On Knife Crime..?

Levi Allen, 28, had the blade in Lottbridge Drove, Eastbourne in June.

He admitted possessing the weapon at Hastings Magistrates’ Court, where he was given a 12-week suspended prison sentence.

Allen, of Seaside, Eastbourne, was spared prison because he showed remorse, and his last offence was committed eight years ago.

Don't make me laugh!

"...they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR DOORMATS!"

South Essex Homes has been removing the items from homes at a block of flats in Shannon Close, Leigh.

One resident said he refused to let the association workers remove his plant table and doormat out of protest.

David Carr said: “What the association is doing is absurd and so unjust.

“I am prepared to be arrested and even go to prison to stop them from taking my doormat and plant table.

“I have lived here 38 years and so many people compliment me on my plant table and how it makes the landing area so nice and homely.

“I feel this is unwarranted harassment of people who are trying to keep their homes nice.”

So there! Health and safety be damned!

The 75-year-old added: “Of course I do not want our flats to be dangerous in any way but this is just over the top. “When the South Essex Homes worker came to take my items I told them I would be prepared to stop them and they knew I meant it.”

I bet they were terrified!

A spokesman for South Essex Homes said: “We understand this may appear stern, however the safety of residents is always paramount.”

Hmmm, sure, I'm convinced.

Not That Bright Or Intelligent Then....

An immigration source told the Times that the woman’s family said (she) was ‘a bright, intelligent woman with a PhD who wanted to start a new life’.

...or she'd have applied the legal way, rather than try to get in illegally.

Surrogate Families Like The Mansons?

How on earth can anyone be so thick?

Ah. Say no more...

H/T: MarcherLord via Twitter

When Did He Find The Time For Coppering?

Ruston pays child support for three children from his failed marriage and also provides for a child he has fathered with a new partner as well as her four children, Mr Doble added.

Which is his excuse for failing an integrity test. And, as the judge pointed out:

"The circumstances of this case are an undercover police officer gave you lost property and he did so to test your integrity. And they don't do it randomly."

Quite!