Maybe You’re The Very Reason It Needs To Change

 

There are many lies told by politicians when it comes to immigration in the UK, but none is bigger than the claim that it’s all too easy. Too easy to enter Britain; too easy to be given handouts; too easy to acquire citizenship. The UK is presented as an inert country, passively receiving future Britons that it does not charge, test or, indeed, invite. The government’s latest raft of policies to deal with the “failed experiment” of “open borders” is heavily influenced by this lie, as it is intended to make things harder for immigrants.

I doubt it, but if it turns out to be true, then it’s long overdue! 

That policy is extending the period you’re required to be settled in Britain before you can get permanent residency, and then citizenship, from five years to 10 years. As someone who became naturalised under the five-year route, my stomach sank when I saw the news.

why? It’s not going to affect you, is it? You’ve already got your feet under the table, haven’t you? 

If the government’s new policies come to pass, the route to settlement will now take a minimum of 11 years, not including any time spent in Britain as a student or on other visas that don’t count towards the settlement component. I know from experience that five years is already one long trial of keeping jobs against all odds and fighting sudden changes in the law.

Yet you managed it. And how have you demonstrated your gratitude? 

Above all, the rule changes show how little our politicians really care about integration. They constantly cite it as the epitome of what earns the right to be in the country and accuse immigrants of not holding up their end of the bargain. But being stuck on work visas for year after year amounts to the opposite of integration. It means you can’t vote, cannot have recourse to public funds if needed, cannot fully lean in to British society and participate with a sense of safety and belonging, as you’re constantly trying to minimise costs in case a change in circumstances means relocating.

All you've done sinse you were granted leave to stay is whinge ans moan and run Britain down, as a quick glimpse of your columns will show.So ehat exactly is the benefit to Britain of having you here? And if you're a shining example of integration, it's no wonder no one else (apart from the chattering classes) wants more of you here.

I Guess I Am, Readers...

 I Guess I'll have to buy a balaclava now....

Under this definition, I'm in very good company though!

I Hate To Say ’I Told You So’…

Actually. I love it, after all. it hsppens so often. Though rarely so quickly:

Public disorder broke out in Ballymena in Northern Ireland, with police saying a number of missiles had been thrown towards officers after crowds gathered near the site of an alleged sexual assault in the town. The unrest follows a protest in the area, about 30 minutes’ drive from the capital city of Belfast, earlier on Monday evening, the police statement said, adding damage had been reported to a number of properties.

More people unwilling to trust to the authorities' claims that the forces of law and order should be their only recourse? Stands to reason it would come first from a community long harbouring a distrust of government and its false promises.

Protesters gathered after two boys appeared in court after an alleged serious sexual assault in Clonavon Road, media reported. On Sunday, police announced that detectives investigating a serious sexual assault on a teenage girl in the adjacent Clonavon Terrace area of Ballymena had charged two teenage boys.

Those 'teenage boys' requiring the assistance in court of a taxpayer-funded Romanian interpreter. Which little nugget may go some way towards rxplaining the action taken by the community.

It's going to be a long hot summer. Isn't it , Reader?

Of Course, It Would Be Dorset Police....

A neighbourly feud involving a damaged garden gnome resulted in a 15-month legal ordeal for a law-abiding grandmother.

Mrs Hutton, 66, admitted she had accidentally broken off one of the gnome’s legs while moving it from a communal pathway outside her flat in Bournemouth, and said she had already apologised to its owner, Lilijana Cekauskiene.She also said she posted £20 through her neighbour’s letterbox to cover the damage. But Mrs Hutton was horrified when Mrs Cekauskiene reported the damage to Dorset Police and accused her of breaking the gnome ‘provocatively’.

And the fiull might of the Dorset cops (who make the Keystone cops look good!) descended on her:

A convoluted court saga followed, which is thought to have cost the taxpayer thousands of pounds – including £4,000 to pay for Mrs Hutton’s legal aid, £1,000 for her psychiatric evaluation, a £55-per-hour Lithuanian interpreter for Mrs Cekauskiene and magistrates’ court costs, which can be upwards of £1,000 a day.

Hey, why not, it's only taxpayer cash, there's always more where that came from, right? 

Fifteen months and three court dates later, and Mrs Hutton has been formally exonerated of any crime.

 And are those involved in this farce sorry? Reader, of course not:

Official statistics show that Bournemouth had the worst crime rate in the south-west of England in 2024. Crimes involving possessing an offensive weapon were up 22.9 per cent and shoplifting offences rose by 5.5 per cent. Meanwhile, in 2022/23, 77 per cent of burglaries went unresolved. But Wessex CPS, which brought the case against Mrs Hutton, insisted it was in the public interest.

Because the neighbour was an immigrant? After all, crimes against English-born folk don't get anything like that response....

Cover Me! 'Devil Woman'

The welcome return of Duran Duran in 2024 breathed new life into this Cliff Classic: 

Starmer's War On Children

The mother of the eight-year-old blamed Labour's war on private schools for emboldening NHS managers to deny her child help with his crippling joint condition. 'If you discriminate against children because of the school they went to, where does it end?,' she asked. Her son was referred to a paediatrician at Kingston Hospital in south-west London after she noticed he was 'struggling to hold the pen well enough to write properly', along with other mobility issues.

At the hospital appointment she was asked to fill in a form which asked: 'Where does your child go to school?'

So parents, you know what to do now - lie. or cross out the question and write 'none of your business'. But of course, she didn't because we are all conditioned to fill in these forms to feed the hungry bureacracy of the sainted NHS, aren't we? 

And days later, she received a text message saying the child had been 'declined' the crucial next appointment with occupational health therapists. She then discovered that the specialist unit had written a letter to her GP saying: 'We are unable to see this child as we do not provide a service to school age children who attend an independent schools [sic]. We are only commissioned to provide a service to the mainstream schools.'

 And plenty of Tory MPs have lined up to hoof the ball into this open goal, but not one Labour MP dared say anything.

The boy's older brother – who has the same condition, hypermobility syndrome – had been treated without issue several years earlier.

They needed the time to get up their courage to do this, clearly.  

'I have complained bitterly and asked who created these eligibility criteria and where it says in the NHS constitution that it's OK to discriminate against independent schoolchildren.'

It doesn't, but they are clearly now emboldened to do so, because this isn't an isolated incident: 

The mother of an autistic girl in Somerset told this newspaper her daughter was denied access to NHS mental health services, and was told: 'If you can afford the school fees, you should pay privately. If you had kept your child at the local authority primary school, she would have been supported.'

Notice no-one is offering her the percentage of her taxes that pays for the NHS or comprehensive education back?

The Mail on Sunday understands that other NHS trusts have also refused occupational therapy treatment to children because they attend independent schools.

I thought I hated the NHS bastards enough...turns out I was wrong! 

So Offensive, It Merited Swift Action...

But not so swift it didn't come nearly a half-year after the offense:

Jamie Borthwick has been suspended by the BBC after he used a slur aimed at disabled people on the set of Strictly. A video obtained by The Sun showed the EastEnders actor using the term 'm********s' to describe residents of Blackpool where the show was being filmed at the time.

The term was 'mongoloids' and the time - last November.

The BBC told The Sun on Sunday: 'This language is entirely unacceptable and in no way reflects the values or standards we hold and expect at the BBC. We have robust processes in place for this.'

Just not speedy ones, eh?

What Always Happens, Of Course – It Went Too Far

“There’s lots of chat at the moment about #SkinnyTok,” Jenny Stevens, the Guardian’s deputy features editor, tells Helen Pidd. “The TikTok influencers, TikTok users, who are documenting their extreme weight-loss journeys.

And activists are worried. But why should normal people who don’t follow celebrity trends care? 

Stevens explains why she is worried about the rise in weight-loss drugs, as someone who suffered from an eating disorder. “I worry about them. And the wider media context, and their absolute fixation on who’s taking them, who isn’t, who’s lost the weight, how they’ve lost the weight. Look at their bones jutting out … I worry about the effects of it on vulnerable people who are already suffering with disordered eating.”

*Shrugs* 

Also, we ask what a renewed fixation on thinness means for plus-size women?

Probably little,  they are too busy eating doughnuts and makibg gross tiktok videos to care.

Gina Tonic, the author of Greedy Guts: Notes From an Insatiable Woman, talks about the origins of the body positivity movement and why it feels less visible than it did.

The TikTok generation lost interest in the shock value of women who look like drag versions of Jabba the Hut, perhaps? 

“I think Covid put health into the forefront of society’s point of view as something that we really needed to prioritise for ourselves and also for our communities. And obviously, the first people to suffer under that kind of logic is people who are disabled, but also people who are seen as unhealthy, I guess, or willingly unhealthy. “And fatness is automatically associated with being unhealthy and has been for decades. So it just feels like a natural follow-on with a public obsession with health, and the perception that thinness is health, thinness becomes the priority again for so many people,” says Tonic.

Live by the trend, die by the trend.... 

Rejoice In Our Multicultural Society!

A murder investigation has been launched following the death of a man in Bradford after a number of males 'fought on the street with bladed weapons'.

Elsewhere: 

This one didn't initally make the MSM, which strangely often covers the annual Pamplona affair...

It's hit now, when the animal hs been captured and is in a sanctuary:

It was unclear where the large black bull came from or why it was running loose.

In 2025, we have no idea where a loose bovine came from? Really? Aren't we a First World country, with government regulations and paperwork to be filed for everything, then? 

It annoys me that the council can't put a stop to what's going on more quickly.

 But it surely can't surprise you?

Villagers are angry that, while strict planning controls apply to them, the travellers appear to be able to 'get away with anything' by flouting the rules. Around 120 people attended a meeting with local councillors in the village hall on Monday.

They pointed to a recent planning decision which is available to read on the council's website.The proposal was to convert a barn in a field opposite where the traveller camp now is, and also on Green Belt, into three dwellings. It was refused because the design of the proposed buildings 'would not adequately reflect the agricultural character of the area' and would be contrary to the Warrington Local Plan.

Well there's your problem, better to ask for forgiveness than permission. The travellers know this. 

Maybe it's about time everyone else learned? Maybe it's time everyone else stopped playing by rules that don't appear to be applied fairly to everyone?

Your (Much Longer Than) Five Minutes of Fame Are Up

Former Great British Bake Off winner Nadiya Hussain has revealed the BBC has cancelled her cooking show after a decade on screen, describing the decision as "really difficult".

The 40-year-old, who won the sixth series of the baking show in 2015, announced the news to her 950,000 Instagram followers in a rambling video discussing changes in her career.

Was The RaceCard pulled? Reader, you knew it would be.... 

Hussain also railed against the "challenges" she faces as a Muslim woman in TV. "Actually, it's really difficult as a Muslim woman.

"I work in an industry that doesn't always support people like me or recognise my talent or my full potential," she said.

Oh, good grief, series are cancelled all the time, especisally cookery shows = Rick Stein hasn't had a new show recently. nor Delia (and neither of those posted rambling 'pity me' videos while taking a political swipe at Israel and the non-existent 'Palestinian genocide')- haven't you made enough money from the run you've had? All those books? 

If not, whose fault is that? Who is ever owed a lifetime contract?

A National Treasure Comments On A National Disgrace...

 

Another triumph from Matt, effortlessly skewering Labour's uselessness.

Sunday Funnies...

 Never heard of any of them....

Advertising (Double) Standards

The mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, has stepped in to reverse a ban on adverts on the London transport network calling for abortion to be decriminalised.

Yes Reader, the same Sadiq Khan who previously banned swimwear adverts... 

It is understood that the mayor is seeking an “urgent review” of a Transport for London (TfL) decision to ban the adverts from the British Pregnancy Advisory Service (Bpas) charity on the grounds they may bring the Metropolitan police into disrepute.

As if that were possible.... 

The campaign posters feature the anonymised stories of real women who have been investigated by police and in some cases prosecuted after a termination or pregnancy loss.

The decision to ban the ads came despite TfL previously allowing pro-choice campaign material on buses across London, sponsored by Doctors for Choice and Abortion Talk and featuring the slogan “abortion is healthcare, not a crime”.

But the very law of our land states that under some circumstances, it can indeed be a crime. 

But then, it appears a bit of killing goes down well at TfL's advertising department:

Last year, campaign material on assisted dying from Dignity in Dying was also approved to run on the network, including in Westminster tube station.

What a wretched organisation, happy to flaunt its inversion of societal norms while it fleeces the customer blind. 

Such As, Brian?

Police hunting for people who use small amounts of cannabis is a waste of scarce resources, and diverts officers from tackling much more serious criminals, a former police chief has said.

Who is advancing this viewpoint? 

Brian Paddick was a senior Metropolitan police officer who in 2001 pioneered the limited decriminalisation of cannabis in a pilot scheme in Lambeth, south London. His comments come after the mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, backed calls for the partial decriminalisation of cannabis possession.

Aha - someone with experience then? 

Paddick said officers would spend hours processing cannabis arrests that would result in minor punishment, such as a caution or conditional discharge: “We were wasting a lot of money for something that was not a priority at the time. He added: “80% of local people were in favour of the effective decriminalisation of cannabis for personal use.”

I've no doubt, but we aren’t going to import the customs of the ethnics as well as the ethnics themselves, Brisn, are we?

He denied that limited decriminalisation amounted to going soft on drugs: “When I was in Lambeth there were a lot more important things police needed to spend their time on and it was doing a lot of damage to police community relations. “The policing of small amounts of cannabis is disproportionately focused on young Black men. I think the argument that cannabis is a gateway drug is no longer considered to be a credible theory.”

Well, Brian, be that as it may. but the waft of cannabis emanating from my fellow morning Tube commuters often seems to come from white or mixed race men adorned with hi-vis and carrying safety helmets, which I'm sure even you'd have to agree is somewhat alarming, surely? 

Words And Actions In Total Disconnect

Carol Shaw was subjected to a savage attack by Kieran Matthew, 17, that left her unconscious in a pool of blood after she asked him to change separately from other pupils. Shortly after carrying out the vicious assault on March 22, 2024, at St Paul's Academy in Dundee, the teenager put his feet up on another teacher's desk and said: 'The stupid cow deserved it.'

The court heard Ms Shaw had been left 'permanently disfigured' with a 'significant scar' and was too traumatised to return to work. It comes as she had 'dedicated her life to vulnerable school children like [Matthew]'.

Sheriff Tim Niven-Smith added: 'It is difficult to imagine a more serious assault, having regard to the consequences of your attack for Ms Shaw. 'It is not over-egging the pudding or exaggerating to say your attack has affected her life in every aspect. She is permanently disfigured. Photos show an extensive, significant scar on her head.

'Until her promotion, she was the safe person for you to seek sanctuary with if you felt overwhelmed. She has dedicated her life to vulnerable school children such as you. 'You have robbed her of her career as she has been unable to go back to school due to panic attacks, nightmares and night terrors as a result of this assault

.Note the continued referral to this young thug as the one who is 'vulnerable', despite his actions proving that it's those around him and his explosive temper, lack of self-control and disregard of authority who are vulnerable. 

The horrific assault took place after the pupil, who was in S5 at the Dundee school, refused to get changed separately from other pupils before a PE class. This measure - agreed by Matthew, his foster mum and the school - had been put in place because of previous aggression towards other children.

And of course, he's portrayed as the victim by the court system. 

Solicitor Theo Finlay, defending, said Matthew had moved to foster care as a young child after being subjected to abuse in his biological family home. Mr Finlay said: 'He has had longstanding issues managing his emotions. It is likely he was already in a heightened condition. He experiences nightmares and requires to be medicated.

He requires to be removed from society entirely, and medicated where he belongs - in a secure institution. But this is Great Britain, where there's no longer any hope of justice for the actual victim:

'He told Matthew the offence merited 18 months in custody, but said it would be reduced for an early guilty plea. He said it would then fall within the sentencing rules on avoiding short-term sentences [under 12 months] for first offenders if an alternative is available. Matthew has also been placed under social work supervision for three years and ordered to attend Mentoring for Men and Designer Skills courses including anger management.

The War On Cars...

First, those robbing bastards at TfL announce plans to hike the congestion charge by 20%. 

Then, before it's even built, a pressure group is demanding sky-high fees to use the new crossing: 

 

Cars pay £2.50 to travel via Dartford, but analysis from the campaign group Transport Action Network (TAN) suggests that tolls would need to be about £8.10, and £14 for a lorry, to cover financing and operating costs.

 Because that’s a well researched estimate of costs, or because it suits their agenda to demand the price is raised? 

National Highways, which is leading the work on the crossing, said the figures were untrue and that it expected the tolls to remain in line with present levels, adjusted for inflation.

Who to believe amongst two sets of known liars? 

Natalie Chapman, the head of public affairs at Logistics UK, said the approval of the crossing was “excellent news” given the delays to traffic at Dartford. She added: “Industry recognises that road charges are necessary to fund new infrastructure, but tolls need to be reasonable, as industry pays disproportionately more towards construction costs than private road users.” Many vehicles have, however, been charged substantially more to cross the Thames since similar mirror tolls were enforced last month on the new Silvertown tunnel, a mile-long crossing in east London, and the nearby Blackwall tunnel, which was previously free to use. Transport for London said the tolls, of £4 for a car, were needed on both tunnels to deter traffic from taking an alternative cheaper route.

I feel you didn't need those last six words; they merely mask the true agenda. 

Dorset Police Fail To Read The Room

 When they geo flack from commenters and the public for sacking an officer for being 'insufficiently respectful' to the knife wielding teenager he was arresting, the PR Team evidently decided that if they released the video, the public would see sense and get behind them.

Well, to quote Vivian in 'Pretty Woman': "Big Mistake. HUGE!"

First the barrage of comments pointing out that's exactly how we, the public, want to see teen thugs treated:

And now, the fundraiser:

None of this will , of course, change minds at HQ, they will cling to their College Of Policing indoctrinated view of what the public are supposed to want from their police and ignore reality in favour of that

Nowt So Dumb As Nationalist Gourmets

A fraudster who tricked luxury hotels and stores into buying "Scottish-grown tea" that was grown abroad has been found guilty of a £550,000 scam.

Where did he say the plantations were, right next to the haggis ranches? 

Thomas Robinson supplied high-end customers such as Edinburgh's Balmoral Hotel and the Dorchester in London with varieties with names like Dalreoch White, Highland Green, Silver Needles and Scottish Antlers Tea. Trading as The Wee Tea Plantation, he claimed they had been grown on farmland in Perthshire.

What sort of buyers are these places employing? Perhaps they'd all visited the Eden Project, where you can indeed be served locally grown tea, but even a child can understand there's a vast difference in climate between Cornwall and Scotland.

Instead, the tea had been imported, repackaged and then resold at hugely-inflated prices, Falkirk Sheriff Court was told. Robinson also defrauded genuine aspiring Scottish tea growers by selling them plants he claimed were grown in Scotland.

Mad dreamers are so susceptible to conmen...

The 55-year-old, who is also known as Thomas O'Brien or Tam O' Braan, rented a former sheep farm near Loch Tay and began spinning "elaborate lies" to customers. Prosecutors said he created the "CV of a fantasist" (Ed: Good thing for Rachel Reeves that isn't illrgal in and of itself)- claiming among other things that he was a multi-millionaire, a polymer scientist, a former bomb disposal expert and had invented the "bag for life".

He also claimed to have developed a "special biodegradable polymer" that would make the tea plants grow in half the usual time. The court was told it looked like a black bin liner.

Because it's probably exactly what it was.... 

The scam began to unravel in 2017 after Perth and Kinross Council started to check if he had a food processing licence.

Took them long enough!

After a three-week trial jurors took six hours to find him guilty of defrauding tea growers, hotels and tea companies of nearly £553,000 in total. He will be sentenced at a later date, and also faces proceedings under the Proceeds of Crime Act.

They should serve him his own tea when he's doing porridge! 

They Infiltrate Everywhere....

Angela Howard, a second-generation witch whose mother was a high-priestess who ran a coven in the 1980s, turned to the religion hoping to find 'spiritual healing' in 2020 from the faith - even training to become a bard, a division focusing on storytelling, poetry and performance.

It seems there’s no institution the cocks in frocks and their handmaidens won’t infiltrate to push their agenda, no matter how niche… 

So she was horrified when she was banned from areas of the faith after speaking up about her experiences when a pagan group said trans women being women 'is not up for debate'.

The furious post, made after the Supreme Court ruling that trans women are not legally women, cited their 'unequivocal' support for trans people and belief that 'trans women are women, trans men are men and all non-binary genders are valid'.

I guess they found it easy to infiltrate a group already prepared to accept odd notions, as David Thompson notes.. 

In a post titled 'Statement of Support for Trans People from the Pagan Federation' they said that their values were 'rooted in respect for the divine', adding that 'the gods and spirits we work with' tell them that identity is part of their spiritual path. And devoted druids were left horrified as the hard-line group banned or blocked anyone who raised an objection. In a comment, they said: 'We are banning people who are being hateful and/or bigoted (4 so far).'

Are the voices of the ‘gods’talking to you now? 

In a written complaint to the BDO, she said, as reported by The Times: 'It is profoundly ironic that within modern paganism and druidry (movements that should be committed to liberation, healing and truth) we are witnessing a kind of spiritual witch-hunt against those who speak up for the rights, safety and dignity of women and girls.'

Of course their handmaidens followed in their wake as they always do, eager to portray themselves as even more unhinged than the perverts themselves: 

...others were delighted with the group's stance, praising them as they continued to ban members. One said: 'You're doing a solid job. Every time I finish writing a reply to some of these anti-trans types and click post, you've already removed the post I'm replying to. It's a very pleasant kind of frustration. Keep on beating me to it.'

I suspect that is the least frustrating thing in this no doubt white progresssive woman's life... 

’ The young defendants will now have to face the consequences of their actions…’

 Is this what you call’consequences’? Sentences in on this case:

Nathan Otitodilchukwu, 18 (31.01.07), of Crow Lane, Romford and a 16-year-old boy from Dagenham appeared at the Old Bailey on Monday, 2 June. Nathan was sentenced to six years, the teenager received two years and eight months

And the cop on the case has the audacity to shamelessly trot out the usual pre-drafted bullshit provided by the PR team to try to claim that what's being done here is 'justice' for the victim. 

Let's not forget that Lucy Connolly was banged up for 31 months for a Tweet stating (in the wake of a mass murder committed by the child of parents granted asylum) that she 'could care less' if people set fire to asylum seeker hotels. Now immigrants (or the children of immigrants?) who actually set fire to - and killed - an elderly British man have got what will be lesser sentences than hers, once the usual leniency they will be automatically granted kicks in.

Someone make it make sense?

Have The Progressives Realised The Lack Of Sympathy For The Pallies At Last?

 

Burning fossil fuels is causing climate chaos, with increasingly deadly and destructive extreme weather events forcing record numbers of people to migrate. The Gulf region is among the most vulnerable to extreme weather and slow-onset climate disasters including drought, desertification, extreme heat and erratic rainfall, as well as environmental degradation, food insecurity and water shortages.

Now will you start to care, if not for the poor terrorist nation, then for the planet itself? 

It is the third and most comprehensive analysis by a team of UK and US-based researchers into the climate cost of the first 15 months of conflict in which more than 53,000 Palestinians have been killed, in addition to widespread infrastructure damage and environmental catastrophe. It also provides the first, albeit partial, snapshot of the carbon cost of Israel’s other recent regional conflicts.

Just what we were sorely lacking, now can we add to thr 'War is Hell' concept? 

“Whether or not States agree on calling it a genocide, what we are facing is severely impacting all life in Gaza, and also threatening human rights in the region, and even globally, due to the aggravation of climate change.”

You'll note that the 'Guardian ' doesn't use this new research as a lever to insist Hamas release the hostages...

Were There Clues?

 

Well Reader, what do you think:

H/T:

Her stint at HMP Styal women's prison in Cheshire was particularly noteworthy, with staff recalling how she would turn up in gold hot pants.

Whoops! 

Pegg, a keen gym-goer inside jail, was seen as a “rising star” in the Prison Service, quickly climbing the career ladder from graduate entrant to prison governor in six years, along the way also having breast enhancement surgery.

I fear the biggest boobs here belonged to the Prison HR staff. 

CJ Nerd via email

Sadly, The Article Is Missing The Phrase 'With A Rusty, Blunt Knife And No Pain Relief'...

...and also, it'll never happen, just like all the rest of this wretched government's plans and policies.

Shabana Mahmood, the lord chancellor, is considering mandatory chemical castration for the most serious sex offenders, according to government sources. The minister’s department is planning to expand a pilot to 20 regions as part of a package of “radical” measures to free thousands of prisoners and ease prison overcrowding in England and Wales.

The report has urged ministers to build a comprehensive evidence base around the use of chemical suppression for sex offenders and examine the findings of similar programmes in Germany, Denmark and Poland.

Which will never pass the human rights lawyers lobby, so why even suggest it? 

“Problematic sexual arousal and preoccupation can be reduced via chemical suppressants and other medications, which can be prescribed for individuals who have committed a sexual offence under certain circumstances,” the report notes.

LOL, when the State can't even ensure that violently mentally ill people can be forced to take their meds, they are going to try it with perverts insterad? It is to laugh.... 

Gauke has called for the need to increase funding and resources for the probation service, including expanding the availability of electronic monitoring equipment like tags, and warned that there will be a “public backlash” if money is not found.

I think there will be one if it is... 

Penal reform group the Howard League welcomed the recommendations.

And if this bunch of wrong 'uns is for it, anyone sensible should be against it. 

There's 'Taking Your Work Home With You'...

...and then there's this:

Peter Sugden, 46, from Falkirk, delivered 'intensive' rehab courses to sex offenders but has now been placed on the register himself following the grim discovery.

Sugden's home was raided by police in June last year after he was caught in a 'sting' set up by a London-based group of paedophile hunters.

You know, those folks decried by all the progressives... 

The former HMP Edinburgh officer appeared for sentence at Falkirk Sheriff on Tuesday after pleading guilty at an earlier hearing to communicating indecently with someone he was under the impression was a child named Abbie. But this was actually an adult female decoy named Sonia.

Sugden, now a driver living in Rumford, also admitted to possessing and downloading child pornography, and possessing extreme porn including images depicting a woman engaged in sexual activity with a donkey and men engaged in sexual activity with dogs.

And astonishingly, didn't see any jail time! 

Sheriff Craig Harris placed Sugden under supervision for three years and on the sex offenders register for the same period of time. He also ordered Sugden to complete 210 hours of unpaid work in the next two years and imposed a string of strict conduct requirements affecting Sugden's internet use.

His brief did her best, but this was the best she could manage: 

'Mr Sugden is a man who never thought he would be in front of the courts but finds himself here after a significant lapse in judgement.'

Really?  

Homophones And Fleet Street

 

Oh dear. Must have written this one up just before lunch

H/T: N McCarthy via email

Extra Demerits for Misuse of 'Decimating'

 

Octopi. 'Mail', I assume you meant?

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Sunday Funnies...

 Surprised they could narrow it down just to five. 

Tweet Of The Month

 A good selection for May! Love Twitter for the snark...

Post Title Of The Month

Christopher Snowden weighs in on one of the worst modern habits:

Quote Of The Month

LegIron has been hors de combat with bronchitis:

"There really should be a website called SickAdvisor where you can rate your illnesses. I’d give acute bronchitis 1/10- definitely would not recommend. It gets the one point because it didn’t kill me and because it saved an absolute fortune in tobacco. The NHS suggests you don’t smoke if you catch this, which only goes to show how little they understand smoking. If you catch this thing, no matter how dedicated a smoker you are, you will struggle to get through a cigarette a day. It’s the most likely thing I’ve ever come across that could convince me to give up smoking."

Post Of The Month

Tim Worstall (where I can comment again!) on a conundrum of modern times - 'Guardian journalists' continued employment'....

Is There No Escaping It, Ever?

If you’re like me, hearing that Martha Wells’ beloved Murderbot Diaries were going to be adapted into a TV show triggered both desire and dread. The books are hugely important to a lot of people, especially fans like me who are neurodivergent, on the nonbinary spectrum, or on the asexual or aromantic spectrums. So how did Apple TV+ do with the first two episodes? Is the show a brilliant success or utter failure?

Well, I for one really enjoyed it, but what does a professional reviewer think? 

I mean, they don't let anything distract them from the purity of sci-fi and fantasy, do they? They haven't been taken over by the relentless march of the progressives, have they? Let's see, eh, Reader?

I want to preface this by saying these episodic reviews won’t be a side-by-side comparison with the book, All Systems Red. My reviews of the TV show will try to examine it as its own thing, with some contextual analysis around the translation from text to screen.

I think what follows doesn't really meet the definition of 'contextual analysis', but is more of a 'how many times can I shoehorn progressive gender tropes into this article' ... 

When Gurathin forces Murderbot to make eye contact, the easy script choice would be to have Murderbot glare him down and intimidate him into backing off. But that misses this great little moment of character development. We see Murderbot’s, well, humanity. I think every neurodivergent person who struggles with eye contact has had an experience similar to what Gurathin put Murderbot through. You’re trying to make eye contact even though it makes you uncomfortable because someone else is forcing you to “be normal” so you end up counting how many seconds you hold eye contact and where else you can look where it seems like eye contact even though it’s not and when to look away then back and you’re running all these metrics and negotiations while trying to hold onto the thread of the conversation and also planning out how you’re going to reply and anticipating responses to half a dozen other possible paths the conversation might take and by the end of it you’re so fucking exhausted and stressed that you want to go hide in a dark, quiet corner somewhere to decompress.

Wait, there's more! 

Furthermore, Gurathin accusing Murderbot of being “wrong” gave me the same vibes as the experience of how every now and again how your masking slips and you misjudge a social situation or misinterpret an interaction and suddenly everyone else can see you’re not like them. I used to get that on three fronts, back before I had realized my identities: trying to act like a cis woman (I’m genderqueer), trying to act het (I’m asexual and aromantic), and trying to act neurotypical (I’m neurodivergent). You know deep down that you’re different but because you don’t have the vocabulary for it you think you’re broken.

A reviewer confessing they 'lack vocabulary' should be a red flag to an editor, but of course, there are no editors here. 

Okay, now for the elephant in the room: gender. Ratthi calls SecUnit a “handsome fella” and “buddy” in a way that sounds masculine-coded to me. Arada uses “he” and is quickly corrected by Gurathin. However, Gugu uses “it” almost like a slur, got that hard “T” at the end. Everyone else says “it” like they do any other pronouns. I keep changing my mind on how Murderbot’s lack of gender is handled. On one hand, I think the scene where Murderbot is interrogated by PresAux about the missing map sections is overt in a way that’s designed to help cis people get comfortable with nonbinary/agender identities, yet in doing so ends up othering and misgendering Murderbot. On the other hand, the way each character processes Murderbot’s gender identity is subtle in an intriguing way and tells me, a genderqueer person who uses they/them, a lot about their personalities.

Rather like this review tells me a lot about the reviewer's hang-ups, and not so much about the show? 

This push-pull also popped up for me in how we are repeatedly shown that Murderbot has no genitalia. It feels both invasive and hand-holding. It literally exposes Murderbot—and it has no choice in the matter because the repair cubicle offers it no privacy, although at least Mensah has the decency to look embarrassed after she goggles at it—which, in an era when some cis people are demanding to see trans and nonbinary people’s body parts before we can use a public bathroom or play sports, doesn’t feel great… but I also think that’s kind of the point. Murderbot feels safest in its armor and helmet and here’s Mensah seeing every inch of it and not able to hide her reaction. Yet it also forces cis audience members to reckon with that invasiveness while also reminding them that Murderbot does not have a gender, no matter what you think about its appearance.

I can't say that was something that crossed my mind as I watched a sci-fi tv show about a robot, but you do you... 

As an asexual who doesn’t really get “hot” and genderqueer person, I find this all both confusing and creepy. Why are y’all so obsessed with people’s genitals? It’s weird. Calm down.

We're obsessed? I'm reminded of the punchline to that story about the psychiatrist performing a Rorschach Test: 'Hey, you're the one showing me all the dirty pictures!' 

I Suppose Watching Your Offspring Like A Hawk Isn’t An Option?

The news that a child damaged a £42m Mark Rothko painting at a museum in Rotterdam last month had me wondering how I’d feel if my toddler was the culprit.

Probably delighted to have material for yet another tedious 'Look, I've reproduced, worship me!' column... 

This story has brought out two categories of people that I’ll admit I struggle with: people who don’t get the work of Mark Rothko, and people who dislike kids.

Oh, give me strength…. 

...it’s the usual calls for children to be banned from public spaces. They shouldn’t be allowed into galleries if they can’t behave, and their parents should be made to pay – that sort of thing.

And you can see why! 

Children respond instinctively to art. They have not built up defences, or preconceptions about it, and the earlier you take them to galleries and expose them to different styles and mediums, the more open and receptive they will be to things that are experimental, unusual or transgressive.

Or maybe children are just unsocialised little animals that shouldn’t be allowed free rein in society? 

Children explore the world through touch. My boy loves to scratch his fingers against woodchip wallpaper, to stand with his palms flat against the rough bark of a tree. Anyone familiar with kids will be able to imagine what went through that child’s mind as they stood in front of Grey, Orange on Maroon, No 8. Something about the unvarnished, slightly chalky surface of the paint made them want to feel it. And so they did. Arguably, in doing so, they connected with the work of Rothko on a deeper level than many adults.

🙄

Either way, I hope that the child wasn’t made to feel too bad. Perhaps it’ll be a funny story that the parents tell someday, and I bet they watch their child a bit more closely in future. I don’t want to add to the shame they are probably already feeling, but I do wonder if it’s time modern parents had a think about rehabilitating the much-maligned toddler reins of the 1980s and 90s, even if just for occasional use.

But wasn’t it your type of progressive mummies who demanded their use be curtailed as they stifled ‘free expression’ in the first place?  

More Pointless Non-Action Leading To Disaster

A woman was left needing hospital treatment for numerous wounds after being attacked by a dog just 50 metres from her home. Pat Pope said the attack happened as she took a shortcut to her home in the village of Ramsbury in Wiltshire, with the dog attacking her "in seconds" and "biting everywhere".

The BBC understands that the dog had been involved in less serious incidents previously, with the owner required to complete a responsible dog ownership course.

*sighs* 

Wiltshire Police (Ed; yes, Reader, they have form...) said the animal was seized and is now in police kennels, and the force is now working closely with Mrs Pope.

You wouldn't have had to, if you'd acted on those other incidents. 

Devizes NPT Inspector Simon Garrett said: "We appreciate the victim's frustration following this horrendous ordeal for her, and we have since visited her to apologise, answer her questions and provide an update on the investigation.

"We are working closely with the victim and her family to ensure she receives an excellent level of support and involvement in the investigation moving forwards."

Which you wouldn't be capable of supplying, if past performance is any guide.... 

Well, Andy, I Guess They’ll Have To Elect A New Population, Then, Eh?

He doesn't mean 'us', of course. This is the 'Guardian' - he means you lot.

With British politics fragmenting, voters are now being wooed by five national parties – an unprecedented situation, made even more unpredictable by an electoral system designed for serious competition between just two. It would be only a slight exaggeration to say that we are all swing voters now.

The increased pace of British politics over the past decade, with extra general elections, parties frequently changing leaders and ideological directions, and sudden electoral surges and collapses, suggests that politicians have become more scared of voters – and that voters have become less deferential towards them.

I'm not sure it's possible to get less deferential to this mob, but why should we ever be deferential? 

But is this voter-dominated politics an entirely welcome development? Recent history suggests not.

Oh dear. 

One way to picture a healthier democracy is as a place where voters and politicians have frequent clashes but also a degree of mutual respect – and an awareness that they are co-creators of a political culture. It may be optimistic to expect grumpy old Britain to become such a country, not least because so much of our media has a vested interest in voters angrily believing that they are badly governed.

Yes, if not for the media, we'd all be happily thinking this was the best government ever! 

Beneath the nonstop call for political change, moreover, is often a demand that change be minimised for voters themselves. Drastically reducing immigration, dropping diversity targets and other socially conservative policies especially popular with supporters or potential supporters of Reform UK – the minority group around which our politics currently revolves – are essentially intended to slow down, halt or even reverse social trends that some Britons believe are too disruptive. Thus much of the feverish quality of British politics these days paradoxically comes from a desire for the country to stay the same.

The pace of change - especially with regards to demographics and the enforced tolerance of bizarre ideas - has been noticably too fast  for most people. 

If and when the current era of voter dominance ends, perhaps with a government that combines great confidence with a big majority, we may look back on it nostalgically. Politicians easily become too sure of themselves and too distant from reality, and punishing them for those flaws is one of the main points of democracy. But voters can develop those flaws, too. Until more of us realise that, our fickle and unhappy politics will continue.

No they can't. The voters have to deal with reality (Green voters excepted), they cannot escape the consequences of it.  

Another Triumph For Policing In The UK....

“It is believed the driver of the Ford Galaxy car involved in this incident was able to follow an ambulance on to Water Street after the roadblock was temporarily lifted so that the ambulance crew could attend to a member of the public who was having a suspected heart attack,” Merseyside’s assistant chief constable Jenny Sims told a press conference.

And did Merseyside plod make no attempt to stop the vehicle? Did they not notice it? 

“There was no intelligence to suggest an incident of this nature would take place,” she added, reiterating that it was not being treated as terrorism.

Really? So, is it normal to have snipers on rooftops for victory parades?

 

And is it normal to take so long to question a suspect for an event that took place on live tv, such that the newspapers have had time to get interviews with his family and neighbours?

Liverpool city council confirmed that hostile vehicle mitigation measures had been in place on Water Street as part of a rolling road closure to support the traffic management plan for the parade. Sims defended the policing operation during the parade, saying the force planned for “all contingencies” - including road closures and an armed police presence.

Didn't plan for those 'hostile vehicle mitigation measures' to be overridden by your Keysyone Kops on the ground though, obviously... 

I’m Reminded Of This By Allsopp’s Tweet

This infamous article in the 'Atlantic' was the thing that sprang to mind reading Katie Allsopp's (now-deleted) Tweet about her horror when her train stopped at York and people who’d been to the races got on:

She was immediately defended by people who clearly shared her horror at the thought of people drinking champagne on their train, though I’m sure they were all the sort who’d deem you ‘racist’ if you complained about Notting Hill carnival-goers boarding your Tube munching fried chicken and swigging rum. Requests for what, exactly, they had done besides having obviously had a good day out were utterly ignored.

Instead, it was the usual 'How dare you think I don't have a good point!' from the Z list 'celebrity' who has just discovered social media is a two-way street...

Always The Ones You Least Suspect...

A primary school teacher and a barrister who specialises in children's cases 'routinely neglected' their adopted sons, with the teacher strangling and racially abusing one of the boys, a judge has found.

The couple successfully made a bid at the High Court in London to be anonymised, meaning details including their names, genders, pronouns, and other details, which might identify them or their children, cannot be published.

Of course! The Establishment looks after their own... 

X is a primary school teacher and Y a barrister specialising in children's cases, who also sits as a deputy district judge with authority to sit and hear private family cases.

Families who will not be allowed to know if their case is being heard by a wrong 'un. Though to be honest, in modern Britain, it's probably wise to assume that in any case! 

In a ruling about their anonymity at the start of May, the judge said the parents 'present themselves as victims, yet have then displayed behaviour that demonstrates their position and way of operating has barely changed and shows they can behave in an aggressive and threatening way, similar to the behaviour described by the children'.

But she concluded 'not without some considerable hesitation' that they should not be identified in these 'very unusual and complex set of circumstances'. Mrs Justice Theis said there was a public interest in the parents' professions being published and the 'public knowing that the parents hold positions of professional responsibility in respect of children'.

Thankfully, that's the wrong tense. 

In a statement written in January, the parents said they had struggled mentally since the start of proceedings, had had to sell their family home, and had no intention of returning to their professions.

But no doubt have found others... 

Someone Never Learned You Catch More Flies With Honey Than With Vinegar...

Anna Landre, a wheelchair user, was set to travel from London's Liverpool Street station on May 18. Arriving 'several minutes before' her train was due to depart, the 25-year-old said that she had enquired with members of staff about a ramp, vital in order for her to be able to board the train.

I’m not a wheelchair user, nor do I know anyone who is, and even I am fully aware that these things have to be booked in advance.

However, Ms Landre, who lives with spinal muscular atrophy, a rare genetic disease, was immediately informed that was deemed to be of 'lower priority' than other passengers who had pre-booked a form of assistance.

Describing the interaction as 'very abled-mansplaining', Ms Landre took to X to outline the stressful ordeal, adding: 'I firmly but politely told him that I know the law and did not need a lecture.

 I think we can all imagine how that conversation diatribe went, can’t we, Reader?

'He continued on and I repeated myself and said I was just looking to the next train since they'd failed to bring the ramp for the original one.' To Ms Landre's dismay, the member of staff then outright refused to assist her any further, branding her as 'rude'.

Then, after speaking with another, she presumed to be more senior staff member, the American activist was told that, given accusations of her 'rude' nature, she would be denied ramp assistance by 'any' staff member in the station.

So she’s American, and doesn’t know our customs? Should she get a break? 

Ms Landre, who moved to the UK three years ago …

 That’s a ‘NO’ then!

…after studying in Washington DC, was banned from boarding any trains from Liverpool Street Station and eventually forced to return home. Firmly denying any allegations of rudeness, Ms Landre added: 'I believe this able bodied man did not enjoy a young disabled woman speaking assertively back to him in the same tone he was using.

'And regardless, "rudeness" is not the standard for denial of ramp assistance. Abusiveness is, and I was certainly not that.'

Well, the railway staff in question may have a different view, so maybe we should get their side, eh? 

The Liverpool Fans Are The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing

As the news was coming in and the video from the scene showed it to be less of a terroristic ramming attack, and more of a panicked driver desperate to escape a mob, old grievances came to the fore:

It's noticable that the speed with which the Liverpool plod released the suspect's description far exceeded their rather leisurely stroll to the trapped car to arrest the driver before the enraged mob hauled him out and lynched him on the streets...

'My thoughts are with all those injured in tonight's horrific incident,' said Assistant Chief Constable Jenny Sims of Merseyside Police, who confirmed a man had been arrested.

The top cop urged the public not to speculate or spread misinformation online, and thanked emergency workers and bystanders who rushed to help the injured.

Well, since Southport, the internet has been a far better source of information than the authorities, so good luck with that! 

Just How Incompetent Are The Met Police?

The body of a man has finally been identified 10 years after he was struck by a car near his home in Walthamstow. Bryan Woolis died in a road traffic collision on January 22 2015, when he was hit by a Mercedes C-Class, but at the time, detectives had struggled to identify him or find his family.

Sounds as if they didn’t try that hard… 

Now, a South Yorkshire Police officer, who gave his free time to investigate the crash, has successfully identified Bryan and finally helped his family have some closure after his death.

Local police officer Nik Dodsworth first became aware of the case via an article on The Sheffield Star’s website and offered his free time to try and solve the mystery.

“When I first joined the police, this was the kind of job I envisaged myself doing every day, but of course the majority of the time it’s nothing like this at all.

We need more police like him. 

“As it was believed that Bryan had links to Sheffield, and with Locate International being primarily London based, I offered to help out.

How long did it take? 

“I had done about five hours of research, primarily internet-based and with some visits to negate possible identities that had been suggested on forums.

Good grief! 

“The Met were really helpful, and when I got the case notes from them it became quite straightforward.”

Good luck to him, and shame on the Met cops who didn't do their job. 

Sounds More Like It's Been Captured By Retards...

The prestigious centre-Right unit found that George Floyd’s death in 2020 led to schools hastily including material about ethnic minorities to appear ‘anti-racist’. Former history teacher and chairman of Campaign for Real Education Chris McGovern said it was ‘clear that the subject has been captured by the Left’.

Oh! Give us some examples, then: 

Children are being taught that Stonehenge was built by black people and the Roman Emperor Nero married a trans woman as woke narratives increasingly infiltrate schools, according to an education think-tank.

🤣😂🤣 

They are also being told – in pro-transgender resources – that genital mutilation of slaves was a form of ‘gender transition’.

Why on earth are ‘pro transgender resources’ ever necessary in schools? 

It comes as the Government conducts its curriculum review to ‘reflect the issues and diversities of our society’ – which the report says may be unnecessary as schools already do it. Backed by former education secretaries Lord Blunkett and Nadhim Zahawi, it also calls for pupils to be impartially given a better overview of British history.

Forget it - we know full well whatever is delivered is not going to be impartial, the teaching unions will see to that!  

Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time!

Strawberry lovers are being warned a bumper crop for 2025 has left them “too big” to fit in their mouths. The whoppers will be sold at UK supermarkets and are “unlike anything” growers have seen in recent years.

Challenge accepted! Who said global warming was a totally bad thing? 

Bartosz Pinkosz, the operations director at the Summer Berry Company said brighter weather, longer days and rainy weather beforehand has made the monsters, which are now being picked to be sold.

Haven’t seen any yet. Hope they will be out in time for Wimbledon!

She Still Can, If She Keeps It In A Jar On Her Bedside Table...

...eh, Matt?

Sunday Funnies...

And critics laughed at Oliver Stone's 'JFK'..!

I Don’t Believe You

Former FBI director James Comey is being investigated by the Secret Service after he shared then deleted a social media post, which Republicans alleged was an incitement to violence against US President Donald Trump. 

Comey posted on Instagram a photo of seashells that spelled the numbers "8647", which he captioned: "Cool shell formation on my beach walk." The number 86 is a slang term whose definitions include "to reject" or "to get rid of", according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, which also notes that it has more recently been used as a term meaning "to kill". And Trump is the 47th US president.

Whoops!  

Comey insisted he did not know what the numbers meant, but Trump has disputed that.

Well, yes, I bet he did! Are they hiring morons as FBI Director these days?

Comey deleted the Instagram post, saying in a follow-up that he "assumed [the sea shells] were a political message". 

"I didn't realise some folks associate those numbers with violence," he added. "It never occurred to me but I oppose violence of any kind so I took the post down."

Good grief! No wonder he’s the former director! Man’s an idiot! 

Investigating Her Social Media Prior To Hiring Wouldn't Have Helped This Time...

A prison officer caught kissing a drug dealer inmate who she 'picked' above all others has been spared jail. Disturbing bodyworn camera footage shows Tracy Boateng, 27, lean in multiple times as she makes the inappropriate contact with Vincent Ojo at HMP Pentonville.

About the only time her name and 'lean' have probably ever featured in a sentence togather!

Boateng had admitted misconduct in a public office through engaging in an inappropriate relationship with Ojo between February 25 and April 19 last year. At Snaresbrook Crown Court today, the senior prison officer was handed a 12 month sentence, suspended for 24 months. Evidence against Boateng, who is from Dagenham (Ed: !!), included the bodyworn camera footage of the pair kissing and hugging, the court heard.

Yes, Reader, you read that right - she's so dim she elected to do this while wearing a body camera! 

Sentencing, Judge Caroline English... 

 I don't recognise the name, but wonder if she was the woefully progressive female judge that presided over the second trial I served on? 

...told her the 'exceptional' feature of the case was her three-month-old daughter and that Boateng had avoided prison because of the impact it could have on the young girl.

Can't help but feel the removal of such a parental influence could only be a good thing for the poor little mite... 

It’s OK Gaby, The Ones Smart Enough To Not Believe This Are Doing Just Fine…

Young people in line for good degrees from good Russell Group universities, who have for years obediently jumped through every hoop provided, are working in bars, going travelling, or despondently applying to companies that they know use AI not only to sift their CVs, but sometimes to conduct first interviews.Meanwhile LinkedIn – and yes, students have all been on LinkedIn for years – only feeds the gnawing fear that other people seemingly have their futures much more sorted, just as Instagram used to feed their teenage anxieties about who was going to all the parties.

Oh, weep! Weep for the students!  

Last year’s Institute of Student Employers recruitment survey recorded a ratio of 140 applications for every graduate job. Part of the reason for that deluge of applicants is perhaps because kids who suspect their forms won’t be read by humans anyway are using ChatGPT to fill in and fire them off en masse, to the point where AI is in effect talking to AI.

Well, the way things are going that’s a good grounding for the future work they will be taking up! 

It’s the betrayal that hurts. We drilled it into them that if they worked hard at school and made it into university then the world could be their oyster, but our stagnant economy just hasn’t generated enough graduate-level jobs to match – especially outside London, where we have simultaneously managed to ensure most of them can’t actually afford to live.

Well, the ones that saw this coming and took up a trade instead of a useless degree in grievance studies are earning a good living now. They were smart enough not to believe the hype.  

We can’t keep doing this to young people and then be surprised when they’re angry. If we keep whipping them through the education system on the promise their efforts will be rewarded, and then fail to deliver, sooner or later, the consequences will boomerang back on us.

What consequences will those be? More overqualified baristas in Starbucks?

Yes More Bus Carnage Leniency...

A bus driver who failed to brake and killed a 77-year-old woman has avoided jail as her sister pays a heartbreaking tribute. Almena Amica was using a pedestrian crossing to cross the road in the centre of Manchester when the bus accelerated and collided into her.

A further 11 people – a mixture of pedestrians and passengers - escaped with minor injuries as the single decker bus smashed into a café in Piccadilly Gardens on October 16, 2023.

I guess by this point, no-one's going to be surprised that no-one's seeing jail time...

Bus driver Khalid Mahmood was arrested at the scene a and while in custody maintained that the incident was as a result of a defected vehicle. A specialist forensic reconstruction officer conducted an extensive investigation and identified that this was not the case, with his report concluding that it was in fact a result of failure to apply the brakes.

He has today received a two year suspended sentence and has been disqualified from driving for five years.

He should have got more for lying alone. 

Sergeant Louise Warhurst from our Serious Collision Investigation Unit said: 'The impact of Mahmood's dangerous actions on Mena's family have been truly devastating and our thoughts are with her loved ones.'

My thoughts would have been more along the lines of 'What the hell is the point of this bloody job'... 

When I Don’t Hear English Spoken On My Morning Commute, What Else To Call Them?

Because I don't. Dozens of Eastern Europrean dialects, African and Indian languages, but very rarely the language of my countrymen. Even the Tube driver's announcements are in heavily African accented tones.

Every government needs an immigration policy and the one led by Sir Keir Starmer is no exception. Laws are required to establish the terms under which migration to the UK is allowed, and to deal with the complexities surrounding irregular arrivals. But the decision to publish an immigration white paper a week after Reform UK made significant gains in local elections, when it is riding high in national polls, is hard to defend. Rather than defusing public concerns, the prime minister risks playing into the hard right’s hands – and undermining the community cohesion he says he wants to protect.

Ah, that fictional ‘hard right’ again. Are they in the room with us now, ‘Guardian’ editorial writer? 

Some of the proposed measures are reasonable. Others are not. Visa rules are complicated and ministers have identified real concerns about the way the system works. But the timing and language, particularly the prime minister’s references to an “island of strangers” and forces “pulling our country apart”, were awful choices. The danger is that such rhetoric ends up reinforcing divisions and xenophobia.

Actually, I think it’s the actions of the immigrant community that’s reinforcing that. 

The pledge to deport more foreign criminals smacks of tabloid politics.

Because we all want foreign criminals to stay here for…reasons, I guess. 

Granting counter-terrorism-style powers to the Border Force risks stoking, not easing, fear.

I don’t think anyone expects them to use them, since they struggle to use the ones they currently have properly… 

Sir Keir’s anger about the Tories’ track record is justified. It harms democracy, and helps opportunists like Nigel Farage, when parties tell voters one thing while doing another. But past mistakes do not justify present ones. Migrants have been and will remain a vital part of the UK’s labour force and student bodies. The government and its MPs must highlight these positives clearly and loudly.

Highlight the positives as much as you want, the negatives are all around us and speaking much, much louder. 

You Need Therapy, Not Publicity!

A Southport survivor has called for a ban on pointed kitchen knives and revealed she is still too traumatised to use one herself following the horrific attack last year. Leanne Lucas, 36, was critically injured after she tried to protect innocent children from a knifeman who went on a rampage during a dance class on July 19.

I have immense sympathy for those who were subjected to this appalling attack, but no. Just no. Fuck off, even!  Typical brainwashed teacher, unable to call for the eradication of the real cause, stabby imports from the Third World.. 

Because of her chilling experience, Ms Lucas has set up a campaign calling for the adoption of round-tipped knives. Rudakubana attacked the dance class last year with one of two 20-centimetre kitchen knives he had bought on Amazon for £3.40 each, bypassing security checks. After her horrific experiences, the teacher had assumed there would be tighter controls around kitchen knives and was shocked to find there weren't.

She said: 'Every time I learnt something new, I’d think, "That doesn’t sound right. Surely there are laws in place so that couldn’t have happened." The more my eyes have been opened, the more I’ve been able to formulate an idea.'

A stupid and unworkable one, but hey, an idea’s an idea, I suppose!

She also credited actor Idris Elba's knife crime documentary (Ed; Oh, FFS!) for giving her the courage to launch her campaign.

She has the ‘courage’ to make an idiot of herself in public, but not to cook with sharp pointed objects?

...the brave teacher is launching Let's Be Blunt in conjunction with Knife Crime Awareness Week, and is calling for the widespread adoption of rounded kitchen knives. Ms Lucas is calling for all homes, manufacturers, retailers and the government to adopt the change and move away from pointed knives. She has suggested taking an inventory of all the sharp instruments in the home and explained that many will likely find more sharp knives than they had expected.

I won’t be doing this, I’m perfectly aware of how many pointed knives I have in the kitchen and I won’t be giving any of them up, no matter how sympathetic I might be towards the ordeal she experienced.