The Only Surprise Here Is It's Not The Met!

 If you were asked, it would be a toss up between the Met or the WMP, the two worst police forces in the land:

A police chief has been told to go back to Parliament amid claims he provided 'shoddy evidence' while explaining the decision behind a ban on Maccabi Tel Aviv fans attending an Aston Villa match last month.

The Home Affairs Select Committee has written to West Midlands Chief Constable Craig Guildford to provide 'further evidence' amid claims he misled MPs when he appeared in front of the committee on December 1. 

Daily Mail understands it is the first time a Chief Constable has been recalled to Parliament in this way.

You'd think they'd be more competent liars, at least wouldn't you? Or is it all just a publicity stunt?

Man Up, Juan!

Helicopter footage of the near-30-minute chase was being broadcast on KCBS-TV when the suspect was shown emerging from a van in the Mount Washington neighborhood in an apparent attempt to flee. The man is seen hopping over a divider on the 110 Freeway before a car in the opposing lane speeds by, striking him as the camera had zoomed in.

And modern day male news anchors aren't made of The Right Stuff anymore, it seems... 

'Whoa, wow! Oh my god! Oh no! Oh no!' weekday anchor Juan Fernandez could be heard saying. 'Stay wide, stay wide, he got hit,' said assignment editor Mike Rogers, instructing the cameraperson to pull back.

Surely the possibility for this sort of thing exists with every live police chase? Well, not everyone lost their shit: 

The feed then cut to the studio, where Fernandez was shown with his mouth open and face frozen, with a hand on his cheek. His co-anchor, Suzie Suh, kept her composure to speak to viewers. 'We just saw the person who was being pursued get out of their car and actually get hit by another speeding car,' she said.

The only thing she did wrong was not to look at the camera, shrug, and say 'Shit happens!'... 

Animal control were also called to the scene to remove a dog from the inside the van, the Los Angeles Fire Department said.

If the dog had got out and been run over, Pussy Juan's reaction might have been a little more understandable. 

Sunday Funnies...

 Good you see us Limeys can still kill it on tv...

And Then A Stint On 'Strictly'..?

 

Misght as well, eh. Matt?

Your (Much Longer Than) Five Minutes of Fame Are Up

Former Great British Bake Off winner Nadiya Hussain has revealed the BBC has cancelled her cooking show after a decade on screen, describing the decision as "really difficult".

The 40-year-old, who won the sixth series of the baking show in 2015, announced the news to her 950,000 Instagram followers in a rambling video discussing changes in her career.

Was The RaceCard pulled? Reader, you knew it would be.... 

Hussain also railed against the "challenges" she faces as a Muslim woman in TV. "Actually, it's really difficult as a Muslim woman.

"I work in an industry that doesn't always support people like me or recognise my talent or my full potential," she said.

Oh, good grief, series are cancelled all the time, especisally cookery shows = Rick Stein hasn't had a new show recently. nor Delia (and neither of those posted rambling 'pity me' videos while taking a political swipe at Israel and the non-existent 'Palestinian genocide')- haven't you made enough money from the run you've had? All those books? 

If not, whose fault is that? Who is ever owed a lifetime contract?

It’s Never Been About ‘Representation’…

...it's been about rubbing everyone's nose in it.

Criticisms that Doctor Who has become too “woke” prove the series is doing the right thing by being inclusive, its new star Varada Sethu has said. Sethu plays the Doctor’s latest travelling companion, Belinda Chandra, in new episodes airing this month. With Ncuti Gatwa returning as the Doctor, the pairing marks the first time a Tardis team will comprise solely people of colour.

And as Tim points out, this is something people not having to face market pressures can say with impunity. Those facing commercial pressures learn the hard way.  

Speaking about the milestone, Sethu told the Radio Times: “Ncuti was like, ‘Look at us. We get to be in the Tardis. We’re going to piss off so many people.’”

“Woke just means inclusive, progressive and that you care about people. And, as far as I know, the core of Doctor Who is kindness, love and doing the right thing.”

And nothing says 'kindness' more than gloating that your presence will upset and annoy people you don't like, I'm sure we can all agree. 

But this is a trend in entertainment now - it's no longer sufficient to make a classic, beloved book or story if you aren't also using it to stick your thumb in the eye of the people you despise. 

I suppose we should be greatful for small mercies, and that the sex of Lewis's main character is the only thing they are changing...

Meet the new Aslan! 

 

We Don’t Want To Watch Propaganda, That’s The Real Issue Facing Television

The UK’s television industry is being hit by a “perfect storm” that risks leading to British stories disappearing from the small screen, Elisabeth Murdoch has said.

Maybe part of that storm is down to the relentless drip, drip, drip of propaganda, when what we really want is entertainment?  

Murdoch, co-founder of the production company Sister, said that a crisis within British television was leading to an exodus of production talent – as well as a danger that British stories were struggling to be told. It follows warnings that cash-strapped British broadcasters are targeting their resources at dramas with international appeal. She said: “British producers are making excellent content for global platforms, with British talent, set in the UK – but those aren’t the same stories that the BBC or Channel 4 seek out. Those stories, from all corners of the British Isles, are struggling to be made in today’s economic reality. The BBC has projects that they have greenlit and provided foundational financing but the gap to budget remains unattainable.”

And of course, the answer is to stick their hands in other people's pockets: 

Some have suggested that tax breaks could be used to help the industry. Peter Kosminsky, the Bafta-winning television director behind Wolf Hall, has suggested a levy on the streamers to help fund local content.

Yes, of course, charge people more to watch the things they like and are happy to pay for in order to fund the things the luvvie mafia think we should watch instead!  

“The question is how much will be addressed by allowing market forces to work and where intervention could and should positively intervene to support all that is great and valuable in the UK TV industry.”

I'm in favour of market forces. Get your fingers off the scales and we'll see just what value you create.  

Streaming TV: Slow Horses (Apple TV)

And so we reach the final offering, and it's this incredible adaptation of Mick Herron's novels.

This one has everything. Inspired casting (although Gary Oldman is not a good physical match for the obese Jackson Lamb, in all other respects he captures his cunning and seedy character perfectly), some great set pieces and a good cast of characters you can come to root for as the ultimate underdogs, it's a triumph. 

And that theme song! Superbly matched to the show's themes and with Mick Jagger's incomparable vocals!

Streaming TV: For All Mankind (Apple TV)

I do love the 'alternate history' genre, so I was delighted to see this when I got a free three months Apple TV with my new iPad and decided to give this a try. It's a great romp through history-not-as-we-know-it, with some great characters and casting. 

And although the hard science in it often leaves me baffled it's full of really human storylines, and unexpected (and often tragic) setpieces. It's very much a soap-opera rather than a drama, despite some really nail-biting scences of peril.  

Streaming TV: Ms Marvel (Disney+)

Not a character I ever really read much about, when the trailers for this one debuted I was 'What?! Really..?'

But it worked! It was such a difference from the other Marvel offerings, and it really did have a charm all of its own. It introduced a community that didn't seem to feature anywhere else in the genre too, parts of New York that didn't get much screen time, and above all, it was fun. 

Sorry, But You're Not Special...

Families of the men killed in the world's worst oil rig disaster have branded plans to make a television drama out of the tragedy 'an invasion of our deepest wounds'. In all, 167 men died when a gas leak set off explosions that ripped apart the Piper Alpha platform 120 miles off the Aberdeenshire coast in July 1988. The BBC and STV Studios are looking to make a factual drama to retell the events of that night. But families of workers who died say their loss should not be 'trivialised into a plot for entertainment'.

Why not? This is no different to other disasters. 

Patrick McLaughlin's father Charles, an electrician, also died in the disaster, aged just 46. Mr McLaughlin said: 'To have actors who could be portraying someone who was killed that night doesn't feel right. I know if there was someone playing my father I wouldn't be happy. Families have been through enough.'

Welp, it's a historical disaster, like Chernoble or Bhopal or 9/11. And no-one objected to those, or if they did, they were rightly ignored.  

Streaming TV: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (Paramount)

I didn't bother with Paramount, I had too many other services on the go, so I missed this first time around. But Apple TV offered the entire first season to buy and download, so I treated myself. And I was impressed!

If the 'Star Trek: Discovery' season 1 hadn't ended so badly (I really liked the direction it appeared to be taking, until that penultimate episode) this slot might well have been taken by that show instead. But they dropped the ball and Anson Mount's team picked it up and scored that touchdown in grand style. This is so very reminiscent of 'old' Trek, only with 2023 CGI.

Streaming TV: The Umbrella Academy (NetFlix)

A show based on comics I never read, and with a seriously odd premise, when this popped up I was somewhat dubious. It had alternate realities (which I love) and time paradoxes (which I don't!). 

The initial episode was pretty confusing, but I stuck with it, and I'n really glad I did. That dance sequence to 'Footloose' was the high point, without a doubt.

Streaming TV: The Falcon And The Winter Soldier (Disney+)

A Marvel show with two 'minor' characters on a buddy mission? Ugh! This shouldn't have worked!

But...it did, and a lot was to the credit of Sebastian Stan and Antony Mackie, whose chemistry together on screen turned what could have been a dull affair into a great show.

Streaming TV: Good Omens (Prime)

You can't really go wrong with a Neil Gaiman/Terry Pratchett team up, and when that's turned into a show with a David Tennant/Michael Sheen team up, how could you possibly lose? 

I'd never actually got around to reading the book, it was always on my 'To Be Read' list, so when the TV show was announced I thought I'd see that first. And what a show! I honestly believe it wouldn't have worked with any other pairing.

Streaming TV: Moon Knight (Disney+)

Disney+ has been an absolute powerhouse for Marvel, and clearly the back catalogue is vast, so I was a bit surprised they went with this particular character. 

I did at least know the character and some of the backstory this time, though it was never a series I read, as he turned up in lots of other comics I was reading at the time. But I was surprised at the choice. And the very first trailer - introducing us to Oscar Isaac's rather strange interpretation of an English accent - didn't really make me say 'Wow! Got to catch this one!'.

But of course, I did, and was hooked! The main protagonists worked well, and F Murray Abraham's Khonshu was a delight! And there were some inspired musical choices. I see a second season isn't on the cards, and that's a real pity.

Streaming TV: Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan (Prime)

After several films with different actors playing Clancy's titular hero, I was somewhat dubious about the prospects for a TV version. 

But I should have known Amazon hardly ever lets you down! John Krasinski was great in the role. The show was fast-paced and had some spectacular scenes, including one set in London.

Upset No-One Offered You The Gig, Leila ?

Leila Latif phones in another column on tv criticism:

Whites Only: Ade’s Extremist Adventure, Ade Adepitan’s attempt to see if “racial separatism can ever be justified” becomes a cautionary tale for black people who think they can one-of-the-good-ones themselves out of white supremacy.The programme follows the charming presenter and Paralympian on his trip to Orania, a “whites-only” town in South Africa, to learn about why they founded this community (racism), what their values are (racism) and why it celebrates the architects of apartheid (racism). He meets estate agents, students and town leaders to enquire politely about their “whites-only” space with the levity of someone discussing the weather.

It's clearly entertainment, rather than searing social commentary, so what did you expect? 

He suggests their “racist past was just overshadowed by apartheid”, asks his subjects gently if there were “negatives” to the Afrikaans history in the region and, in a moment of astounding respectability politics, all but grasps a string of pearls as he defends British democracy and says: “I support BLM [Black Lives Matter], but I don’t go out rioting!” Not only is this a particularly tone-deaf thing to say in South Africa, but it also suggests that he also needs to read up on Mandela.

Yes, it seems for Laila being a non-rioter is a no-no. It makes him 'inauthentic', I suppose. What lovely people write for the 'Guardian'. 

Being a black “chilled-out guy” is a feeble response to white supremacy; the Oranians are unmoved by his politeness.

It's be rather a different sort of show if he'd gone in screaming and shouting at them, Laila. 

Adepitan concludes there were very fine people on both sides, but places like this will inevitably end with “me and you meeting on the battlefield”, seemingly unaware that the failure of his approach makes the case for militant action on racism.

Yes, because a TV presenter who doesn't act like an animal makes the case for all people of the same race everywhere to do so.

Really, Laila? After all, it's not like they seem to need your encouragement, is it? 

Streaming TV: The Witcher (NetFlix)

Confession time: I loved the PC games. And I read the books, though didn't enjoy them quite as much. So when they said they were filming it, based on the novels, I wasn't expecting much. When they said they were casting Henry Cavill, even less, as I'd found him rather wooden in 'Superman'. 

But I was wrong! He was amazing in the role. So it was a sad day when the creators decided he wouldn't continue. 

Streaming TV: The Mandalorian (Disney+)

When I first saw a new Star Wars show announced on Disney+, and then saw what the title was, I was a little perplexed. 

Sure, we all knew Boba Fett (who later got his own show, though it didn't have the impact of this one!) but a show about a character whose defining feature is that he never takes off his helmet to show his face? And you cast Pedro Pascal? How will that work?

And it did! Thanks to a certain marketing goldmine in the form of 'Baby Yoda'. The second season couldn't quite match the first, but it was still far more watchable than anything on terrestrial TV. 

And the theme tune was pretty good too!