Man Up, Juan!

Helicopter footage of the near-30-minute chase was being broadcast on KCBS-TV when the suspect was shown emerging from a van in the Mount Washington neighborhood in an apparent attempt to flee. The man is seen hopping over a divider on the 110 Freeway before a car in the opposing lane speeds by, striking him as the camera had zoomed in.

And modern day male news anchors aren't made of The Right Stuff anymore, it seems... 

'Whoa, wow! Oh my god! Oh no! Oh no!' weekday anchor Juan Fernandez could be heard saying. 'Stay wide, stay wide, he got hit,' said assignment editor Mike Rogers, instructing the cameraperson to pull back.

Surely the possibility for this sort of thing exists with every live police chase? Well, not everyone lost their shit: 

The feed then cut to the studio, where Fernandez was shown with his mouth open and face frozen, with a hand on his cheek. His co-anchor, Suzie Suh, kept her composure to speak to viewers. 'We just saw the person who was being pursued get out of their car and actually get hit by another speeding car,' she said.

The only thing she did wrong was not to look at the camera, shrug, and say 'Shit happens!'... 

Animal control were also called to the scene to remove a dog from the inside the van, the Los Angeles Fire Department said.

If the dog had got out and been run over, Pussy Juan's reaction might have been a little more understandable. 

"People used to think if they were affiliated with Hezbollah but not fighters, they were effectively safe."

There's an old saying, chum - lie down with dogs and you'll get up with fleas.

"But this changes everything. The pager attacks happened in areas where you thought they could never happen – Christian areas, for example. But Hezbollah are everywhere in Lebanon and you can't know who is who."

When they go 'boom!' you soon find out. And then all your terrorist-supporting journalist friends start crying about it on social media:  

We are gazing into the portal of a dystopian future, where anyone on earth can be killed with the flick of a switch.

Consider how further technological advances could mean anyone could be immediately located and killed. It would become impossible to resist anyone with that power https://t.co/8KV4pWoenj

— Owen Jones (@owenjonesjourno) September 17, 2024

'Anyone can be killed' squeals little Owen. Conveniently forgetting that to put yourself in the electronic crosshairs, you have to launch an unprovoked attack on Israeli civilians. 

No Professional Courtesy For Bloodsuckers?

Oh dear, how sad, never mind...

And in other pest-related news:

A flea-infested courtroom has halted the murder trial of a man who was strangled to death in his own home for a year.

The trial had already been going on for a month when the tiny biters invaded the space and the jury has had to be discharged.

Horrible creatures that prey on the weak are everywhere these days, it seems. 

Six men are accused of murdering Ian Staves, 44, after he was found dead in his own home in September 2022.

Prosecutors claim he had been strangled by men planning to steal drugs from him at his home in Wooton, near Hull.

The court heard that the self-employed car sprayer - who lived next door to his mother - was a drug user who was being investigated by police. Half a kilogram of cocaine and a cannabis grow were found during a raid of his house.

See what I mean? 

Wow, Apps Are Getting Amazingly Sophisticated..!

A woman who was cleared of cruelty to one of her horses has said that the damage caused by a “trial by social media” is “irreversible” and that she received hand-delivered death threats because of the incident.

Twitter (I refuse to call it 'X') can now arrange for your menacing post to be hand-delivered...! Truly, we live in an age of wonders!

You know, if I'd avoided a jail term for kicking and punching one of my pets in a fit of temper, because a jury had returned one of those baffling verdicts that they can sometimes be prone to, I'd want to hide away and shun the limelight until everyone forgot. 

But of course, I'd never ever do what this woman did in the first place...

She said: “It is profoundly troubling that, in this digital age, misinformation can spread like wildfire, leading to premature judgments and jeopardising the lives and careers of innocent individuals.

“A snippet of video was taken out of context, and manipulated to paint a picture of me that is entirely at odds with who I am.”

No, it showed what it showed, and your real issue isn't that it showed that. It's that it showed quite the opposite. 

The jury didn't buy the offence, but that video - and the resulting impression people were given of you - is never, ever going away.  

🎶…’cause later, if you get too close, he’ll hurt you where it hurts the most…🎶

This is the terrifying moment a matador was gored in the rectum and tossed in the air like a ragdoll during a traditional bullfight in Spain last night.

Alejandro Conquero was reported to be in a 'serious' condition after sustaining horrific injuries during the event in Cenicientos, in the region of Madrid.

I'm not sure wht the 'Mail' describes it as 'shocking', I'd have thought it was an inevitable consequence of this... 

Could The Left Wing Establishment Get Its Story Straight..?

Is Nigel Farage a bumbling joke politician, a one-shot busted flush? 

Or a wily operator who engineered the fall from grace of a banking executive, helpless to avoid the pitfall he led her into?

The Telegraph’s story, which was based on information requests Farage had made to the bank, appeared to contradict an earlier BBC story which had said that Coutts had ousted him for falling below its financial thresholds, rather than concerns about his views.

Rose herself came under fire when it emerged that she had sat next to the BBC’s business editor, Simon Jack, at a function the previous night.

It's popcorn time every day, lately, isn't it? 

Hide And Seek Champion 2023 Title Almost Won!

Around 20 minutes beforehand, police had been called to a domestic disturbance nearby involving a woman in her late 40s and a young boy. Both were hurt, but the extent of their injuries is not know (sic).

A male suspect fled the scene and police believe he then climbed into a bin outside nearby council flats.

Which turned out to be something of a tactical error, since it was Bin Day! Whoopsie!

Detectives are yet to rule out if he deliberately threw himself into the cart or not. A post mortem is now set to be carried out to establish whether the man was deceased or alive when he fell into the dustcart.

It's possible he had a heart attack while in the bin, I suppose. But really, who cares? 

Well, It Takes A Village To Raise A Child, After All...

A cyclist who crashed into a three-year-old girl at a zebra crossing in east London suffered a broken jaw...

Came off his bike, did he? 

...after being violently assaulted by a member of the public.

*suppressed chuckle* 

“The suspect is not believed to have been known to the child,” said a Scotland Yard spokesperson.

Nice to see some people still retain the old atavistic instincts, despite the current woke agenda. 

Police investigating the incident are now appealing for any drivers who may have been in the area at the time and could have dash-cam footage of what happened to come forward.

I hope they don't, if it allows him to be identified. 

It's Not Whether You Win Or Lose, It's How You Play The Game...

...and that goes double for the race-baiting crowd:

As of Friday morning the ECB’s comprehensive 82-page report into all of this is now upon us, complete with the verdicts on charges against seven well-known Yorkshire cricketing figures. At the end of which it will be tempting to conclude that there are no winners in this; or perhaps that only Vaughan emerges with any credit, successfully cleared of a single charge of having referred to four players of South Asian origins by referring to them as “you lot” in the famous huddle.

But the truth is the ECB’s judgment is a victory for Rafiq.

Eh..? How on earth do you reach that conclusion? It's been a complete loss for race-baiters, hasn't it? 

As usual...

...the fact is nobody can doubt Rafiq’s testimony now. For all the pain, embarrassment, and abuse, the viciousness of having his character dissected in public, the key point of all this has been upheld. And Rafiq has only ever had one point to make, that Yorkshire CCC’s institutional racism had damaged careers and lives, and that those concerns had been glossed over both by the county and initially by the ECB on Tom Harrison’s watch.

Ah, yes, Rafiq's character. Well, he's only got himself to blame for all that, hasn't he? 

... it is now a mater (sic) of public record that Rafiq was routinely referred to as “Kaffir” and Ismail Dawood as “Token Black Man”. It was found that Bresnan called Rafiq’s sister “a fit Paki”. It was found that John Blain used the P-word. More usefully we know that there was and still is a massive cross-purpose misunderstanding of what racism is, and that, for example, Matthew Hoggard genuinely believes Matthew Hoggard is best equipped to decide this matter.

There certainly seems to be a big blind spot with regards to racism, when it's only one race that's ever deemed guilty of it... 

There are those who will now crow and celebrate Vaughan’s vindication, while also pointing to the less admirable qualities of Rafiq dragged across the stage for the crime of daring to speak out.

Well, imagine if he hadn't spoken out. We wouldn't know anything about his 'less admirable qualities', would we? 

I expect that's white society's fault too.

Oopsie..!

Chiragh Chiragh (Ed: So good they named him twice?), 39, gunned down Mohamed Muhyidin, 28, as he sat in the front passenger seat of a car parked outside a flat in High Street, Harlington, west London in the early hours of Halloween morning in 2021.

He then drove the victim's body minutes away round the corner and dumped it by the side of the road near to Heathrow Airport, where it was found by a taxi driver.

Save your tears for this 'poor victim', though. He was no innocent. 

The shooting happened in a car park outside a block where one of the flats was used as a base for drug users and dealers to meet, police said. Chiragh and Muhyidin, along with another man - Mohammed Shakeel who had a fake firearm - and a 17-year-old boy all went to the flat the previous evening, where an argument broke out. Just before 5am, Chiragh left the flat with a submachine gun and got into a car with Muhyidin, who was sitting in the front passenger seat. But as he climbed out of the back door of the vehicle, the gun accidentally went off and Muhyidin, who was sitting directly in front of Chiragh, was shot through the chair.

I'm sure Alec Baldwin knows how you feel, Chiragh! 

Detective Inspector Lucy Carberry from the Met's Specialist Crime Command said today (Mon) that the defendants intended to injure someone that day, even if it was not the actual victim.

Well, indeed! Dumb criminals are always the best criminals, aren't they..?

Shutting The Stable Door...?

A fruit picker accused of stabbing to death nine-year-old Lilia Valutyte has reportedly been rushed to hospital after being slashed and battered by a shank-wielding cellmate in a brutal prison attack.

 But wait!

Skebas was under constant supervision following his return to prison.

 *hollow laughter*

Karma's A Bitch...

The victim was attacked while walking in London Road late on August 20, 2020. He suffered severe face, head and back injuries during the attack, which involved the use of a machete.

The victim was left blind in both eyes as a result of his injuries. Draper, of Sheepen Road, Colchester, fled the scene along with fellow attacker Sam Jarman-Hall.

Made a clean getaway? Well, no, Reader, not quite.  

But Jarman-Hall somehow injured himself while fleeing and was found with fatal injuries in College Way. He died a week later.

CCTV footage of the incident confirmed he had injured himself with the blade he was carrying.

Gosh, where's my tiny violin?

 Welcome back, old friend!

Draper admitted charges of GBH with intent, affray, possession of an offensive weapon and possession of cannabis when he appeared at Basildon Crown Court on April 8.

On Thursday, he was sentenced to 12-and-a-half years in prison, with five years on extended licence.

Why wasn't he charged with attempted murder? 

Keeping That Appointment With Karma In Samarra...

A father-of-two died at the same bus stop where he had killed a young woman in a hit-and-run collision eight years earlier, an inquest has heard.

For 'died at', read 'crashed into'. 

The carpenter from Clapham was speeding at 60mph in a 30mph zone before he collided with an advertising board at the bus stop, MyLondon reports.

Mr Davis was thrown nearly 25m onto the opposite pavement, sustaining 'multiple open fractures and massive internal bleeding'.

No better at driving a motorcycle than a car, clearly... 

Coroner Sarah Valentine recorded a conclusion that Mr Davis died in a road traffic collision.

I prefer to think karma finally caught up with him... 

Bet The Breeder Wishes He'd Thought Twice Before Breeding Them...

A local resident told The Mirror that the owner of the dogs was a breeder of American Bullies, adding that the owner's father, or his partner's father, were looking after the dogs while he was away watching Wrexham AFC play at the FA Trophy final at Wembley on Sunday.

Thankfully not an innocent member of the public this time... 

The dog was euthanised by a vet at the scene while other dogs kept at the property were removed by trained dog handlers and will be kept in kennels temporarily while North Wales Police continue with their enquiries.

Stick the idiot with the bill when this is finished. 

Another local said two or three 'vicious' bulldog-type hounds were often seen fighting each other in the garden.

'They are not the type of dog you want to mess with. You would think twice before petting them.' she said.

Sadly, the people that breed these things don't think at all... 

We eradicated smallpox without a thought. When are we going to do the same with pitbull type dogs?

'We Need More Voltage, Sarge!'

A spokesman for the force said: 'Police were called shortly after 7.10pm yesterday to a report of a domestic assault at a property on Fern Street in Farnworth, Bolton.

'Officers attended the scene and attempted to arrest a man in his 20s.

'After the situation escalated, a Taser was deployed to maintain the safety of all involved.

'The Taser was removed and man subsequently made off on foot​...

Whoops! Guess they needed more power, but where are they going to get it? 

...into Farnworth train station where he sustained serious injuries while on the railway line.

'He remains in a serious but stable condition in hospital.

Ah. Never mind.  

Perhaps It's Wise, Mrs Moulds...

Mrs Moulds has declined to make any comment.

...after all, those speaking out for you aren't exactly helping, are they?

The neighbour added: 'I don't know what happened and in what context but what is now happening to Sarah is horrible. She's terrified of being in her own home in case someone targets her or her kids there.'

She's got children? I wonder how she reacts when they don't do as they are told? Her employer certainly isn't happy to take any more chances! 

'She's well known and respected in equestrian circles...

They should really be a different tense, shouldn't it? 

...and her social media was bombarded with comments from very angry people after the video went viral and she's now had to close it down.'

Oh, boo hoo!  

Her uncle David Kirkham from Bonsall, Derbyshire, insisted: 'She is a very upright person, a fantastic person who absolutely loves her horses.'

Odd way of showing it...

'I've seen the video but we don't know what the horse had been doing and if it was out of control.'

Does it mayyer? Does beating an animal help to get it under control, then? 

'But we know it ran out onto the road and she told it off.'

Errr, no, if she did that to a person, she'd be charged with assault, not 'telling off'. 

'She was reprimanding the horse. There was no malice intended. She is very well thought of and respected.'

Again, wrong tense. 

It's no wonder Moulds herself isn't commenting! 

Happy Christmas, Boris!

And hopefully, you'll be the next goose well and truly cooked this Yuletide...

North Shropshire had previously only had Tory MPs in its modern incarnation and was the party's 76th safest seat.

It also backed Brexit in the 2016 referendum. But they lost it with one of the largest by-election swings (34 per cent) in British electoral history to Ms Morgan, who finished a distant third in the 2019 general election.

Even now, Starmer's unpalatable. That should tell both parties something. 

"O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"

The High Court today issued a warrant for the arrest of a prominent solicitor after she failed to attend a hearing to answer allegations of contempt of court.

You'll never guess who it is...! 

The SRA, which earlier this month obtained an injunction to stop Khan ‘unlawfully’ acting as a lawyer through JFP, alleged Khan was in contempt of court by failing to comply with two High Court orders requiring her to deliver up client files.

Khan sought an adjournment of today’s committal hearing, claiming that she needed ‘emergency elective surgery’ – which Mr Justice Fancourt said was ‘a contradiction in terms’.

I get the feeling the judge is not disposed to give her the benefit of the doubt here... 

She also said that she needed legal representation, although the SRA’s barrister Rupert Allen said Khan had previously been ‘categorical’ in saying she could represent herself.

Heh!  

The judge said he had formed the view that ‘she will not voluntarily attend the court based on everything I have seen of her over the last month’. Fancourt said that the ‘only sensible option’ open to him was to issue a bench warrant, not backed for bail, to ‘have her arrested and brought to the court’. ‘It means she will be found and arrested and brought to the court,’ he added.

I bet every eye in every force is peeled, don't you, Reader? 

The court heard that the committal hearing may be heard on Friday, if Khan can be found and brought to the court.

Wow! Better order in another pantechnicon of popcorn... 

H/T: InspGadget via Twitter

You Missed Something Out, Didn't You?

Speaking on behalf of his daughter, Bryant's niece, he said: 'This may have just been another black man dying in controversial circumstances but to us he was just another son, brother, father and uncle.'

And armed robber.

'Throughout Shane's life there were times where he was misunderstood.'

Like when he dragged a female member of staff away from the counter at the Co-op store and forced them to open the safe?

'He was an energetic, upbeat, imaginative and creative individual.'

Does it take a lot of creativity to rob a Co-op then?

'It is very hard for us to understand why Shane got involved in the crime at the Co-op at the time of his death.'

Because he was criminal scum.

'As a family, there was no doubt in our mind that Shane should have been arrested for his crime, he should have ended up in prison for his crime, but he should not have ended up in a coffin.'

That was his choice.

Vibrant, Enriching Diversity!

A man had his hand cut off after being attacked with his own machete by angry vigilantes, according to locals.

No, not South Africa, Dhaka or Rio De Janeiro, this is Khan's London. 

A councillor wrote on Facebook that locals had cornered a man who had reportedly brought a machete to the scene. He wrote: “Yeah...you don’t mess with the people of Tower Hamlets.

“On a more serious note: Armed with machetes, this group has allegedly targeted innocent people in that area a few times. Locals decided to take matters into their own hands. “Nobody should ever condone vigilantism like this but it should also be a lesson for people who carry knives: your weapon can easily be turned against you.”

Locals..? Have the Pearly Kings started a vigilante group?

 Ah! The new locals...

A nearby shop owner said police closed off the street very quickly and he had heard from customers the man’s hand was cut off. Drill rapper Ak6ix7even said people had released “fake news” of him being involved in the attack after a photo emerged of him being arrested.

Good old London. So much better for having new blood, even if it is mostly on the streets, I suppose...