A transgender prison officer who was caught with £3,500-worth of heroin in the car park of a Midlands jail has escaped a jail sentence.
Why was there a transgender prison officer in the first place?
Prison bosses swooped in on Ollie Griffiths, 29, after a tip-off alleging he was smuggling in contraband for inmates at HMP Featherstone, Staffordshire.
A court heard how multiple wraps of heroin were found in the footwell of his car, stuffed into a tube of Pringles crisps, on July 31.
Bang to rights! So how did she - for it is a she - escape with this?
He was sentenced to a 12-month community order with 100 hours unpaid work and ordered to pay £280 in costs.
Well, would you believe, CPS incompetence? Or laziness? Or desperately helping the Prison Service cover up their mistake in hiring this person?
Griffiths - formerly known as Holly Griffiths - was spared jail after prosecutors charged him with possession of drugs, and not the more serious charge of intent to supply.
Even the judge said 'WTAF, dude?':
Asked to explain the 'astonishing' decision by district judge Marcus Waite, Ms Fraser said that reviewing lawyers had told her to proceed on the lesser charge.
Gosh! I wish I could avoid awkward questions by saying 'big boys did it and ran away' when confronted...
Richard Davenport, defending, said: 'He is no longer employed in the prison service. He has left his parents' address.
'There have been various problems with the family because of his transitioning. He is living in shared accommodation and has got work as a chef.'
Great! Food preparation. That's safer, right?