Tuesday 31 January 2012

Reading Between The Lines Again…

There are certain words and phrases that, when used as a descriptor (particularly of the deceased), tell you exactly what you are dealing with.

One of those is 'cheeky and loveable'. Oh, and 'character':
The family of a man whose decapitated body was found burning in a car park have paid tribute to a 'cheeky and loveable character'.
It does indeed crop up a lot:
Father Chris Bergin, who conducted the service, said Barrie was remembered as a young man who always had a "permanent, cheeky smile" on his face.
They are unlikely to ever be used about me, or my friends or relatives. Thank god!

H/T: Curmudgeon via email

Post Title Of The Month

...goes to James Higham at 'Orphans Of Liberty' for this one (and no, it isn't what you think!):

Quote Of The Month

Comes from OldRightie, on the topic of 'community':
Nevertheless, back to The Marches. The tragic disappearance of Alethea has consumed the area. Hundreds are searching voluntarily each day and receiving plaudits and accolades from The Police Officers on board. Indeed one DC has said to me quite forcibly how astounded she is at how the local, proper "community" is responding. Here the word community is not a euphemism for some poverty stricken, slum wasteland, blighting our cities and Nation.
Fingers crossed for Alethea...

Post Of The Month

Goes to DumbJon for this splendid summing up of CallMeDave's 'ambitions'.

Let’s Hear It For The ‘No Responsibility’ Generation!

A judge has spared a mum from prison, despite her stealing more than £30,000 from her employers, because he did not want to send her children into care.
Why can’t the father and/or relatives look after them, then?
Judge Gary Burrell QC took pity on office administrator Louise Humby, who fleeced the company by falsely claiming expenses on a company credit card, telling her: “Your children have saved you.”
OK, so, well, at least she’ll have to pay back the…

Oh, FFS!
Humby, 31, helped herself to the money and had an element of “thrill and excitement” but is now filing for bankruptcy and will not be able to repay any of the money she stole, a court heard.

Meanwhile, if you are hopelessly inadequate and your baby ends up with dozens of fractures, don't worry! It's not your fault, it's the fault of the social workers:
Judge Ticehurst told the father: 'You clearly were far too young and not able to look after your child.

'That child suffered considerable neglect due to your inability to care for her. But in my view you and your partner were let down by the social services, who have a duty to provide for you.

'In my judgement it would be quite wrong to impose anything other than a community order, for you to get the help and support you need.'
And hey, if you will insist on pouring vodka down your throat all night, it's not your fault when you wind up dead, it's the poor bloody paramedics!
His father, Michael, 44, is taking legal action and said his son would still be alive today if the emergency workers had taken his son to hospital the first time around.
He's also 'still be alive today' if he'd moderated his drinking, but hey, there's compo to be had!

Speaking of which...
...last week he received a letter from personal injury lawyers Almy & Thomas saying that under a no-win, no-fee agreement they had been instructed by Mr McCarthy to sue for damages and costs. The letter said he had injured his left elbow, which needed treatment at the police station.
You couldn't make it up. And in the UK in 2012, you don't have to.

And She Appears To Be Growing A 'Hitler' Moustache!

What better way to signal the evil she did here?
Mr Latham, now living in Trinity Place, West Reading, said he would not get his money back because Farmer had no assets.
Mr Latham gave her his cash card to get cash for him – and she used it to draw money for herself.

During the period, Farmer bought a washing machine, cooker, two TVs, a tumble drier and mobility scooter which Mr Latham thought she was paying for herself.
So, what are they, then?

Curiously, there's no report of any defence 'mitigation', but there is this:
The court was given a character reference for Farmer written by Cllrs Tony Page, Bet Tickner and Mohammed Ayub.

Cllr Page said: “We were happy to give a character reference on the basis of the many years of community work she had done in the area. For the most part it was offering information and advice and putting people in touch with us as their councillors.

“I would add that none of it was financial advice.”
Well....duh! Do you even understand what a character reference is supposed to be, cllrs?

Monday 30 January 2012

Lessons - Still Not Learnin' 'em...

It seemed prison escapes were all the rage last week. One of them, however, shouldn't have come as that much of a surprise:
It is not the first time Farndon, who is serving time after he was found guilty of grievous bodily harm following a brutal hammer attack that left his victim with a fractured skull, has escaped custody.

He leapt from the dock at Coventry Crown Court during a court appearance in connection with the GBH charge and was on the run for a time.
But, despite that...
Farndon was handed an indeterminate sentence for public protection in his absence and told he must serve at least two years before being eligible for parole.

He was also sentenced to 18 months for dangerous driving, 18 months for aggravated vehicle-taking, and banned from driving for two-and-a-half years.

Despite the serious offence, officials only classed him as a category C prisoner - meaning he was deemed unlikely to make a determined escape attempt.

: 'The Jannie' via email

Should We Fund The ‘Help’ He Needs..?

Major Matthew Wright, 47, downed 12 cans of lager before staging the sit-in, during which he hurled a radio and a bowl out of the property, Bournemouth Crown Court was told.

After a 30-minute stand-off, two firearms officers entered the property and arrested the distressed dad, of Arrowsmith Lane, in Wimborne, prosecutor Simon Jones said.

He said: “Jones was banging on the window shouting: ‘If you come in I will cut you’ “He threw a china bowl of food at a PC, turned the gas on and the microwave and was ready to kill himself.

“He was threatening to cut officers’ throats as he was banging on the windows.”

Before this, he had been threatening to hit and pour boiling water over former wife Susan Wright. She left at around 5pm.
Mitigation is going to be something, eh?
Mark Ruffell, mitigating, said his client gets on well with his family but drinks too much.

“He has problems that he needs counselling for,” Mr Ruffell said.
He has problems? I’d say it’s the neighbours that have problems. And his family.

Speaking of which…
Wright’s 25-year-old daughter was in court to testify for his good character.
Not his wife? Maybe she’s had enough?
Nikita Wright, a student, said: “He needs help to get off the drink and drugs. If he is helped he can become the man that he was, a loving, caring, devoted dad and husband.”
Many, many, many dads don’t need help for that, though, love.

And I’m not sure yours is worth it, frankly. If he can afford drink and drugs, he can afford therapy.


A former California psychologist who faked a rape attack in an effort to convince her husband to move to a new neighbourhood today pleaded no contest to a felony conspiracy charge.

Sacramento Superior Court Judge Kevin J. McCormick sentenced Laurie Ann Martinez to five years probation, six months of electronic monitoring and ordered her to pay $4,463.32 in restitution for the police investigation.
Yup, that'll be this case.

And I was right about her chances of hanging on to her job:
On top of that comes the personal cost - her husband has divorced her, and she was fired from her job as a psychologist at California State Prison, Sacramento.
H/T: Mark Wadsworth via email

The ‘No Blame’ Culture Reaches Ridiculous Proportions…

Coach driver Colin Scott, 52, ‘lost his mind’ after children in the street jeered at him, calling him a ‘fat b******’, making V-signs at him, and shouting: ‘How fat is your wife?’

He began swerving his vehicle at them to try to frighten them off.
Yikes! Just what you want the man driving a multi-ton vehicle to do!
But his final swerve was too violent and he lost control of the bus, causing a six car pile-up and demolishing buildings.
His passengers weren’t too impressed, as you can imagine:
In a statement read at Croydon Crown Court, John Lewis employee Nick Henderson said: ‘He only stopped when a road sign came through the windscreen.

‘He had snapped and lost his mind. He was blaming everyone but himself, but I blame him
Well, yes, indeed! Unfortunately, as far as the court was concerned, that clearly doesn’t appear to be the case…
Scott, of Reading, pleaded guilty to dangerous driving on Carshalton High Street, Sutton, South London, on August 27, 2010.
He was disqualified from driving for three years, ordered to pay costs of £500 and to do 200 hours of unpaid work.
That’s it? That’s all?

And, as they say, there’s more:
A bus driver who tore the roof off his vehicle after he crashed into a low bridge while carrying dozens of students has been given a suspended jail sentence.
Driver Trevor Wilson ignored panicked shouts from students and missed four warning signs before the doubledecker Compass Royston bus ploughed into the bridge in Neasham Road, Darlington, on September 22, last year.
This one was more serious for the passengers, though there was no element of ‘provocation’ – twelve of them were hospitalised.
Wilson, 51, of Wellington Walk, Stockton, appeared before Darlington Magistrates’ Court, yesterday, for sentencing after pleading guilty to dangerous driving earlier this month.

Magistrates sentenced him to 12 weeks in prison, suspended for 12 months, and ordered him to complete 100 hours of work in the community.

He was also disqualified from driving for 18 months.
Oh, good grief! That’s all?
Simon Walker, mitigating, said Wilson’s life had been devastated by the incident, which had left him suffering flashbacks.

Mr Walker said: “It is not an overstatement to say the events have changed this man’s life forever.

“This has had a devastating effect on him on a number of levels. He has sought help from his GP. This was a one-off error, his first in 30 years. He has indicated that he will never drive a bus again.

“He has lost his good name, his job and, at least temporarily, his health.”
He deserves to lose his liberty, too. Incredibly, it seems yet again, some blame is considered to lie with others:
Mr Walker referred to concerns raised by a relative of one of the students involved, who said a single-decker bus had had a narrow escape at the same bridge the day before the collision.

He said: “The woman seemed surprised that Compass Royston had not been blamed for this incident.

There had been alarm the previous day when the bus went under the bridge. That incident was not brought to Mr Wilson’s notice.”
And why would that have had an effect, when he missed all the road signs and the shouts of his passengers?

How is it the company’s fault if their – presumably previously unblemished - license holders seem unable to remember that they shouldn’t go down routes their vehicles aren’t capable of traversing correctly?
Magistrates said Wilson’s remorse and the fact that Compass Royston changed the vehicle were mitigating factors that meant his sentence could be suspended.
Yes, the fact that he normally drives a single-decker and the company had asked him that morning to drive a double-decker apparently means that they are partly to blame…

You really couldn’t make it up!

Quote Of The Month: Special Stephen Lawrence Edition

From Richard at 'Going Fast, Getting Nowhere':
"The publication on national television of covert videotapes showing the accused behaving in a racist and violent manner in their own homes (is it even legal to do this?) which, while causing revulsion in anyone who saw it, was not criminal in itself, and was not evidence of their guilt or innocence, and yet virtually ensured that they could never have a fair trial in this country."
Spot on!

Post Of The Month: Special Stephen Lawrence Edition

So January brought us the conclusion to that travesty of justice, the on-going Stephen Lawrence murder retrial.

Many, many people in the blogosphere were concerned at what it cost us as a nation to put these two men on trial again, and so weighed in with good, thought-provoking posts, among them Angry Exile, Tim Worstall, David Duff.

But the definitive post this month was, without a doubt, Anna Raccoon's. Superlative!

Time To Go Dowsing For A New Well Of Sympathy…

The family of a 17-year-old girl killed by a dangerous driver have branded his prison sentence "a joke".
Another tale of a family mourning the loss of an innocent party, wiped out by a careless driver?

Well. Not quite.
Banned Zahoor Hussain was driving his dad's Mini Cooper at 50mph on a 30mph road when he lost control and caused the death of his friend and back-seat passenger Zoe Smith, above.
Hussain, 25, of Oaklands Drive in Almondsbury, had already racked up three previous convictions for driving while disqualified yet still got behind the wheel while serving a drink-drive ban, on September 6, 2010.
Well, his punishment will be all the greater for…

At Bristol Crown Court, Recorder of Bristol Judge Neil Ford QC jailed Hussain for 32 months and disqualified him from driving for five more years. But as he has already served 126 days, Hussain could be released on licence in about 14 months, when half his term is up.
Now, I can see why the relatives would be upset about that. But let’s not forget their daughter wasn’t kidnapped, but got into the car voluntarily:
After the hearing, Zoe's mum Karen Pope, 41, told the Evening Post: "I think the sentence is a joke."

Her dad David Smith, 44, added: "It doesn't matter how long he goes to jail for – it's not going to bring our Zoe back."
Well, no. But you know what might have helped keep her safe, in a speeding vehoicle? How about a seatbelt…
Prosecuting, James Ward told how on the night in question Hussain had borrowed his dad's car, picked up his friend Afzal Hussain, then went to pick up Zoe from her home on Kingsmead Road, Speedwell. None of the three was wearing seatbelts, the court heard.
Described as a "beautiful angel" in one tribute, Zoe's family said the pain of losing her "bubbly" presence has not eased at all in the 14 months since the crash. They were shocked to hear for the first time, in court, about Hussain's previous driving bans and convictions.

Mr Smith said: "We would urge everyone who gets in a car to wear a seatbelt. It may have prevented Zoe from losing her life."
I wonder if Zoe was similarly unaware of her chum’s criminal record?

Sunday 29 January 2012

Oh Noes, Now They Are Armed And Dangerous!!

Another deer kill has been reported as scientists move closer to results of DNA tests which could beef up evidence of big cats in Gloucestershire.

Oh. Wait.
The Roe deer, found by walker Dave Davies on Tuesday afternoon, appeared to have been shot at point blank range through the top of its head.
One back leg was also broken and Mr Tunbridge believes it may have been involved in a road collision and dispatched with a gun.
Yes, that's the Mr Tunbridge described in the news item as an 'Expert big cat tracker...'

Number of big cats tracked by Mr Tunbridge? Anyone want to guess?

And there's some amazing back-and-forth in the comments between the Big Cat Believers and, ummm, normal people.

Spot The Odd One Out!

Campaigning began this week for Islington’s first-ever Youth Council as 24 candidates aged between 13 and 17 battle it out.
Maybe I’m being unfair. There’s another 12 to go…

Maybe Benefit Fraud Investigators Should Read Local Newspapers?

"Dashing to the end of the road"


"Mr Nicholls, 35, who does not work because of disability"….
Admittedly, we don’t know what sort of disability. But if it’s a movement-based one, or agoraphobia, he’d be bang to rights, wouldn’t he?

H/T: Dave Ward via email

Yeah, Southend Is That Sort Of Place Now...

Spellcheck is your friend...

Sunday Funnies

Because life just isn't like the movies...

Saturday 28 January 2012

They Take False Claims Seriously In The Emerald Isle…

The man who falsely accused X Factor judge Louis Walsh of groping him in a nightclub has been jailed for six months.

Leonard Watters, 24, pleaded guilty to making two false reports to Irish police that the pop music mogul sexually assaulted him in Dublin nightspot Krystle last April.
Wow! Compare the usually incredibly lax response to such claims here!
Pleading for a non-custodial sentence, Watters' solicitor, Cahir O'Higgins, said his client was a tragic figure whose life had been a litany of disasters from an early age.
I see ‘mitigation’s’ the same, though…
Passing sentence, Judge Dermot Dempsey immediately granted Watters bail to appeal against the decision, on condition that he lodged 100 euro (£83.50) in cash with the court.

Watters was now a laughing stock and a joke, and had been treated as a pariah in his own community, he told the court.

"For ever and a day, he will be known as the guy who accused Louis Walsh in the wrong," he said.
Can you imagine that being said about the usual inadequate or spiteful chavette who makes a false rape claim?

No, me neither.

H/T: Mark Wadsworth via email

The Guardian’s Most Misjudged Campaign Since ‘Operation Clark County Vote’…

Zoe Williams on ‘dangerous dog panic’:
… there is a political subtext – as is so often the case – to the presentation of risk here, and it's not just because bulldog breeds are unusually tenacious and have powerful jaws.
Well, Zoe, sweetie, that’s definitely part of it.

I mean, if my neighbour mistreats his Chihuahua and makes it savage, a well placed kick will send it flying back into next door's garden. Not so with something that looks like a cross between an alligator and an overstuffed sofa…
People talk about "weapon dogs" without needing anything as coarse as evidence that the dog might be used as a weapon – all that really means is a burly staffordshire bull terrier with brass chest furniture in the company of young, ideally black, men.
‘Black’ men..? As her commenters point out, in most areas, this is mainly a white chav phenomenon, or - in a few - a Pakistani one.

But gotta get that ‘racism’ accusation in somewhere, eh, Zoe?
Animal charities often point out how much teenagers benefit from having something to care for, how it bolsters their independence and maturity…
Great! Let ‘em have a poodle, then. No?

Maybe ask yourself why that wouldn't do, eh Zoe?
"Really sociable, healthy dogs do get caught up in it, and there's nothing you can do," said an officer from the West Midlands police dangerous dogs unit, about to kill a beautiful tan pitbull that any dog lover would have rehomed in a heartbeat.
Ah, and here I part company with your later well-founded critiscisms of the DDA; this particular part, harsh as it may seem, was well thought out, because, you see, an animal raised in those conditions, with that initial start in life, will never, ever be trustworthy. The programme made me grateful no-one has yet invented Smell-O-Vision; most of the people couldn't look after themselves adequately, never mind an animal.

And it prevents soppy, soft-hearted animal lovers taking into their homes an animal that could be Lassie or Rin Tin Tin, or could be Cujo. No-one really knows.

Because, you see, these aren't inanimate objects like guns, that people like you seem to fear so irrationally. No gun ever loaded itself, left the house by jumping the fence and trotted off down the street to find a random stranger to shoot. And yet, people like Zoe go out of their minds when someone suggests that giving young people guns is a way of showing them how to handle responsibility..

These dogs are living things with minds of their own. Not always sane minds, even those well-bred and well treated, from sensible, responsible breeders.
The law serves no purpose in public protection, has not reduced the number of dog bites, and hasn't even reduced the number of pit bull-type dogs on the streets.
Mainly because there’s been a lack of – if you’ll pardon the pun – teeth? And because while the law was rushed through to grab headlines, no-one actually had the resources or the desire to crack down on then problem…
But this doesn't mean it hasn't had an impact: it has given a legislative framework to neighbours prosecuting grudges against one another.
The dogs investigated on Death Row Dogs were local tip-offs, and all the dogs, on examination, were being mistreated by their owners. But a neighbour worried about animal cruelty would have called the RSPCA; the choice of the police as their authority of first resort suggests malice.
No, it suggests that the ‘cruelty’ the neighbour is worried about isn’t that done to the dog, but that the dog will undoubtedly mete out to any neighbouring cat/small dog/child.

Or even it’s owner’s child. These things aren’t fussy.

And I wonder if you’d dub it ‘malice’ were a concerned neighbour to report a gun, or racist taunting..?
Furthermore this law has made young people with any bull breed type the legitimate focus of disapprobation – in the London borough of Lewisham, the local paper, the News Shopper, ran a campaign last year to "shop a dog". No incident was required – you just saw one you didn't like the look of and shopped it. It suffices to say that spaniels didn't count.
And if it turned out not to be a banned breed, it was as safe from seizure as…well, as that spaniel, wasn’t it?
It would never be OK to say: "I'm afraid of young men, especially large groups of them, especially the ones without much money" – so in order to articulate that, these people are broken down into their constituent parts.
Who says it isn’t OK to say that? In most parts of London, it's a necessary survival trait!
It's not them you're afraid of, it's their dogs, or their hoods. And each rationalisation is justified on some generalised pretext – a criminal might wear a hood, ergo hoods suggest criminality; staffs have strong jaws, ergo all staffs are weapons. And that in itself is usually syllogistic – but it also has the effect, in reducing a person to his accessories, of dehumanising the person.
They seem to be doing a bang-up job of ‘dehumanising’ themselves
Intellectually, it's interesting to watch how prejudice works, the circuitous routes it takes, its iatrogenic consequences. But as the owner of a staffie crossed with a ridgeback, it's not interesting, it's annoying.
Aha! And now we see part of the reason for her concern.

She is indeed that soppy animal lover who has given a place in her home to an animal cross-bred from two ancient hunting strains, one bred to harass angry bulls, the other to bring to bay African lions. And which, if it turned one day, she'd have no more chance of stopping than a runaway beer lorry.

She’s getting an almighty mauling (again) in the comments. Someone should really call the RSPCA. Or perhaps get a bucket of water…

Ah, That Frisson Of Anticipation!

...you get when you look at a local newspaper thread and see this:

You know it's going to be a rich seam of chavtastic splendour:
Drivers watched in disbelief after a woman was punched during a row over a car parking space on the first day of the sales in Hull.

One woman punched another in the car park at Tesco in St Stephen's Shopping Centre as carloads of shoppers descended on the city centre for the Boxing Day sales.
So, safety ropes tied off, helmet on, let's go spelunking!


Just think two teachers lost their jobs for correctly describing such types.

If it was caught on CCTV it would be interesting to see it on Look North.”
Yes, yes indeed it would...

“Good old fashioned road rage, but as usual the HDM who never write anything positive about Hull try and act like this is unique to Hull, you couldn't make it up unless you write for the Mail.”
This is certainly true, as MacHeath points out, it seems to be unique to large shopping areas and sales, no matter where they are.

But as we know, a comment thread never really catches light until an involved party joins it, so...


“for all your information!! first of all the git driving the car ran into me!! not once but twice!! then the passenger had the cheek to call me a fat sl*g!! ye ok i might be big but so what have most of you looked in the mirror? at least im trying to do something about it!! and as for what the mail has published is mostly lies due to the interfering woman from another car that just wanted to get a quick name for herself, and started offering me out! i'm not sorry, she got what she deserved, if she hadn't have insulted me in such a nasty way maybe she wouldn't have got a good hiding!! and when i told her not to call me that she grabbed me!! i was only defending myself.

anyone else got anything to say...?”
And we're off!

Is It All Just About Ticking The Boxes?

Simon Leftley, corporate director for adult and community services at Southend council, said: “In many cases, particularly with the victims of domestic violence, many adults will refuse any offers of help or assistance.

“While we must respect the right of adults to make independent decisions about their lives, we also need to ensure that appropriate checks and balances are in place.”
Good luck squaring that circle, then, Mr Leftley.

Why not just accept some people cannot be helped, no matter what 'the authorities' do?

Or do really you just want to ensure that the i's are dotted and the t's crossed next time?

Friday 27 January 2012

Six Of One, Half A Dozen Of The Other?

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell…
Lee Edge was under the influence of drink when he targeted Everton Greaves, who was walking to his mother's house in Hanley.

Stoke-on-Trent Crown Court yesterday heard Mr Greaves was on Moorland Road, Burslem, when he saw three drunken men at 8.20pm on April 17 last year.

"One was the defendant and he shouted he wanted to the fight the complainant," said prosecutor David Bennett.

"He chased the complainant along Hanley Road shouting racist and homophobic insults and demanding his telephone.

"He punched him several times to the floor and continued to punch and kick him. The attack continued in the middle of the road."

The court heard Mr Greaves managed to get to his feet and sought refuge in a nearby garden. But Edge followed him into the garden and continued the attack.
Thus involving the householder:
Mr Bennett said the householder intervened and at one stage threatened to set his dog on Edge if he did not stop.

"Edge demanded a gold tooth (from Mr Greaves) and tried to knock it out. He punched him in the mouth and ran off. The complainant's mobile phone, worth £30, was taken," said Mr Bennett.
Well, well, well…

Mitigation will be awesome, I’m sure:
Anis Ali, mitigating, said Edge has a lot to learn regarding his inability to control aggression.
Errr, yes. You could say that!
He said the best mitigation was Edge's guilty plea, which spared Mr Greaves the ordeal of giving evidence and having it challenged.
Interesting comment. Just how could a fairly straightforward-seeming violent street robbery be ‘challenged’?
Mr Ali added: "He understands he has to adopt a more sensible attitude towards his life. He expresses a renewed sense of optimism towards his life. He understands he has to address his drinking habit."
Note, he just ‘understands’. There’s no indication he actually plans to DO any of these things!
Judge Paul Glenn told Edge the offence was aggravated by his homophobic and racist abuse.
Well, of course! I mean, the beating and robbery alone wasn’t half as bad otherwise…

In the comments, we see that people are no longer fooled by the headline, when it comes to sentencing:
by focusboy

“So, he's going to serve "up to" half the sentence, which makes it 2 years, and he's already done 210 days on remand which is taken in to account, so he's actually going to do a lot less than a year and a half.

I don't call that being "jailed for four years".”
Nor would anyone!

However, a clue to that odd claim by the defence pops into the comments:
by Danni_1991

“Before you judge this 'homophobic thug' please read this story


Then tell me if he is homophobic why is it that many of his friends are homosexual Yes he did do something wrong but i can tell you one thing for sure he is not homophobic
So get from behind your keyboards in your pretty little world and get to the real world . You people judge people far to quickly and if you have opened the link i have pasted above you will realise that Everton Greaves isnt the victim he makes out he is he is just as bad. Im not saying that what Lee did was right because it was far from right ! And he knows this. I will stand by whatever I say.”
That link leads to this story:
Everton Greaves committed a "sneak in" burglary at a house in Hamil Road, Burslem, at 6.30pm on Friday, April 26, Stafford Crown Court heard.

Prosecutor Neil Ahuja said one of the householders left her home with her boyfriend and his friend inside. She left the door closed but unlocked. But when she returned five minutes later she saw the defendant walking out her front door carrying three cans of lager with a jumper draped over them.

"She alerted her boyfriend and his friend and they began to follow the defendant," said Mr Ahuja.

"She continued to keep a view on Hamil Road. She saw the defendant come out an alleyway where he recovered about 20 CDs which had been taken from her house.

"Her boyfriend and his friend followed to a property in High Lane. When they went on the driveway to get the property back they saw the defendant holding a small knife."

The defendant went into the house and came out with a larger knife.

The police had already been called and they arrested the defendant.

Greaves, aged 43, now of Grove Place, Shelton, pleaded guilty to burglary and affray.
Well, well, well… I think this whole affair is what is commonly known as a ‘S**t on s**t attack’…

Interestingly, the defence clearly recycles the same old excuses – amazingly, drink is to blame for burglary too!
Peter McCartney, mitigating, said these offences were out of character for Greaves. "He drank too much," said Mr McCartney.
But was sober enough to steal lager and DVDs, and not, say, cushion covers?

That Told You!

Sentencing has been adjourned while probation officers prepare a report on Kidd.

Kidd’s barrister Paul Williams said the prosecution did not have evidence as to Kidd’s motivation for the offences.

The judge said: “The court will form its own opinion.”

And Oh, How I Wish I Could Believe They Won’t Fall For It Again…

A burglar who was freed from prison because he had five children to look after is facing another jail term for assault.
Who’s shocked? Not me…
Jobless Bishop, who admitted he had ‘never thought’ the judges would free him, claimed at the time that he was ‘going straight’ for the sake of his children.

But just four weeks later he attacked a man in broad daylight after chasing him into a Spar supermarket.

A court heard yesterday how horrified shoppers looked on as Bishop repeatedly punched his victim in the head while his brother held him in a headlock.
Not that they needed to rely on eyewitnesses, since….yup, you guessed it:
Bishop, and his brother, unemployed bouncer Robert Wheelhouse, denied the assault at Nottingham Magistrates’ Court yesterday.

But they were found guilty after a judge saw CCTV of the incident and dismissed their account of events as ‘implausible and untrue’.
Still, at least he can’t try…

Oh. Oh, of course he can:
… last night his lawyer said Bishop planned to try to use his children to avoid jail once more.

Solicitor Timothy Holder said: ‘Wayne is still responsible for all his five children. We will be asking the court to take into account his responsibilities towards his childcare duties.’
Well, why not? It’ll probably work…

Guns Don’t Kill People, Novelty Calculators Kill P… Wait. What?

Mr Ashley-Miller, who runs the gift shop The Present Finder, was stunned when officers descended on his warehouse and confiscated £1,140 of stock.
What sort of stock? Whoopee cushions? Fake dog poo?
They were seized after someone saw the toys on sale on The Present Finder's website and made a complaint to firearms police.

Detectives are currently in the process of assessing the 'weapons' to decide whether they must be destroyed or returned to the shop.
What sort of weapons….sorry, ‘weapons’ are we talking about?
The £6.50 'gun' calculator is in the form of a black pistol but clearly has a calculator keypad on the butt and an LCD display on the barrel. The user has to pull the trigger to calculate their sum.
Mr Ashley-Miller said two ‘burly’ police officers turned up at his premises and confiscated the toys, telling him it was illegal to sell a realistic imitation firearm under the Violent Crime Reduction Act 2006 before carrying £1,140 worth of stock to their police car.
Well, any competent solicitor worth his salt should be able to overturn that one then!
The 49-year-old, who has run The Present Finder in Sherborne with his wife Fiona for 11 years, said: 'It seems to me like an enormous waste of police time. We have been selling these toys for more than a year and we’ve never had any complaints about them.

'As far as I know they have never been mistaken for a real weapon. They are toys.'

Yes, only someone really, really simple could possibly mist…

Why, hi there!
Sergeant Ged Want, from Sherborne Police, said: 'Officers attended the Present Finder to liaise with staff and the two products were seized by us.

'We are in the process of liaising with our firearms licensing department in Dorchester to confirm the exact details of those weapons.

'It has not yet been decided how we are going to take it forward. The actual gun does look quite realistic. It may be that, on receipt of advice, we find there’s not a problem and they can be returned.

'Or they may be committing an offence. It’s always difficult to work out if our time is being wasted.'
No. No, it really, really isn’t.
'If we have concerns over a potential imitation weapon then we have to act. If it gets in the hands of someone who wants to use it in an illegal act, then it’s not wasting our time.'
Yes. Yes, it is.


A parent has been banned from going within 100 metres of her children's school by a court.

Kelly Nuttall has also been prevented from contacting a teaching assistant at the school after being issued with a restraining order.
Oh, great!
Clair Moss, prosecuting, told North Staffordshire Magistrates' Court: "Miss Reece had had considerable dealings with the defendant and they were frequently in meetings.

"The defendant began to constantly attend the school and ring up trying to speak to Miss Reece.

"She was also seen walking past the defendant's home address and a letter was delivered to Miss Reece's home.

"She was about to be spoken to by the police and faced the possibility of being given a harassment warning notice."

But the magistrates heard that Miss Reece called Staffordshire Police at 10.40pm on August 23 after hearing someone throw something at her Kia Rio car.

Officers attended the incident and carried out a search of the area. Nuttall was later arrested after saying: "Come and arrest me, she has ruined my life."

Oh, that’s not the only offence, either:
Nuttall was also sentenced for two counts of theft after admitting stealing clothing and accessories worth £365 from Primark, in Hanley, on October 16.
OK, so… *deep breath* …what’s the ‘mitigation’?
Simon Dykes, mitigating, said Nuttall's emotional wellbeing led to her committing the offences.
Or, perhaps more accurately, her lack of it?
He said she was a victim of domestic violence in a previous relationship.
Which has….well, what bearing on this?
Mr Dykes said: "It was those issues which led to the relationship she formed with Sharon Reece.

"She felt Miss Reece was a good friend to her and was always there for her to open up to.

"She saw Sharon Reece as someone she could offload her problems on.

"But she later felt hurt, upset and betrayed."
Well, boo hoo!

Doesn’t she sound just like the sort of person who shouldn’t be allowed guardianship of children? I see there’s no mention of a husband or partner…
Magistrates sentenced Nuttall to a 12-month community order with supervision and a requirement to attend 16 sessions at Chepstow House, in Hanley, which aims to help women get their lives back on track.
Just ‘women’..?
Nuttall was also ordered to pay £200 compensation and £170 prosecution costs.
I note there’s no mention of a job, either. I guess we know who’ll be paying that…

Thursday 26 January 2012

Redefining ‘Racist Chanting’…

Football fans suspected of chanting racist songs on a train back from an FA Cup match were arrested today in a series of dawn raids in south east London.
What ghastly things were they chanting?

Well, one of them (The only one? Or the only one the paper feels free to print?) is this:
The Charlton Athletic supporters are accused of chanting "There's only one Gary Dobson" in reference to the convicted killer of black teenager Stephen Lawrence.

A public order offence, maybe, but a ‘racially aggravated’ one..?

SBONA* On The Rampage!

A mob of up to 60 masked schoolboys, some of them armed, descended on a rival north London school to attack a pupil but were thwarted by police, it emerged today.
It took eight police cars. Eight! And were they grateful?
The mob, many wearing red bandanas, was headed off by police who arrested one of the youths, a 14-year-old boy, for allegedly possessing a knife. But as pupils streamed out of the school trouble flared between them and the officers who had come to ensure their safety, with two IAMS students being arrested for alleged harassment and threatening behaviour.
Just lovely
Ms Osagie (IAMS headteacher) added that a decision on whether the two arrested IAMS students would also face school disciplinary action would be made next week.
It’s something you need to think about?!? What sort of school is this?
A recent Ofsted inspection praised it as "good" with "many outstanding features". It said that it was a confident school embracing a wide range of cultures and languages.
Ah. Say no more.

* SchoolBoys Of No Appearance

PCSOs Overstep The Bounds Again…

The three-man tent cost £100 and was donated to vagrant Justin Hicks, 35, by members of We Are Witney.
Ahhh, the ‘Big Society’ in action! How noble.

And how ultimately futile…
Mr Hicks had been sleeping in the tent behind the Windrush Leisure Centre, in Witan Way, for a week.

The leisure centre contacted police and two PCSOs removed the tent on Tuesday.

The majority of the tent was found by the leisure centre’s bins, but some poles were found in the bin itself.
Thames Valley Police admitted yesterday that clearing material from private property was not a police matter.
Well, that’s OK, it wasn’t ‘real’ police that did this, was it?
Inspector Helen Roberts, of Witney police, said: “The police received a call from the Windrush Leisure Centre on Tuesday regarding a tent that had been pitched on their land behind the centre for a week and the rubbish accumulating around it.

“There were no personal belongings or occupier with the tent and enquiries to find an owner proved negative so it was dismantled and placed at the location for the owner to collect later.”
It wasn’t just ‘dismantled’, according to Mr Hicks; it was broken, and his Bible and medication were missing. If it had been a Koran, would it have similarly gone missing, I wonder?
Police spokesman Adam Fisher said: “In hindsight this does not really appear to be a police issue.”
No, indeed. So, what compensation will you be paying the people who bought the tent for Mr Hicks, and what action will you be taking to discipline your fakeofficers?

In Which I Praise Social Services*…

Prosecutor Heather Chamberlin said the "extremely unpleasant" attack on Mr Orlowski happened after he had arrived a few minutes late with the baby.

Bould left the room to go to the toilet and his sister put on the kettle to make tea. While Bould was out, Mr Orlowski broached the subject of arranging the final contact visit.

Mr Orlowski then heard the kettle click again. Suddenly, he became aware of somebody standing over him.

Miss Chamberlin said: "He described simply feeling heat and Bould shouting at him, 'Come on'.

"He got to his feet and made his way to the door. He pushed Bould out of the way and raised the alarm."

Mr Orlowski was rushed to hospital in immense pain. The court heard he has since made a remarkable physical recovery and returned to work with Staffordshire County Council, yet he is still haunted by the psychological effects of the attack.
Bould was arrested in Leek later that day, although he was unable to be interviewed because of his mental state.
The reasons for the involvement of social services are becoming much clearer!
The court was told how he had suffered a debilitating stroke as a teenager after being attacked by a gang of youths.
Curiouser and curiouser…
Jason Holt, mitigating, said: "He is all but mute, save for a few words and words that are said in heightened emotion."
Such as when scalding a man almost to death?
Bould had become involved with another stroke victim and they had a child together before splitting up.

Social services became concerned and the baby was made the subject of a child protection order.

"Any issue of neglect was not intentional. It was the by-product of their disabilities," said Mr Holt.
And in this instance, Social Services are – quite rightly – doing their job. Because Bould wasn’t just guilty of a momentary loss of temper with the authorities…
Bould, aged 22, of Queens Drive, Leek, was yesterday sentenced to a total of 33 months in prison by a judge at Stoke-on-Trent Crown Court.

He had pleaded guilty to causing grievous bodily harm to the social worker on September 16, 2010, and a separate offence of attempted arson on his ex-partner's car while it was parked in St Edward Street, Leek, on May 29, 2010.

But as Bould has spent so long on remand, he was eligible for immediate release.

Comments are illuminating:
by Backdoored
“"He looks like a very evil man. -by LewisL

Not to me he doesn't. He looks sad. Very sad. Sad, like a little lost child. He's lonely, lost and in need of treatment. Save the punishment for the mature and able -who cunningly rip off old ladies in a premeditated manner.

This awful act of scalding a person -was almost certainly done on the spur of the moment. A result of a burst of uncontrolled violent anger brought on by a sense of injustice -Because he couldn't accept that the Social Worker was acting in the best interests of his daughter.

By failing to understand why the Social Worker was left with no alternative -shows clearly that he is unable to communicate in a normal and reasonable manner. That's why he needs treatment. He's lost the plot, and certainly won't find it in the nick -if anything it'll make him worse... bitter.
Can you even get worse that deliberately scalding a man?

But there’s always someone keen to excuse even this, and blame someone else:
by chacha28

“you all say he needs shooting, gasin ect,ect get a life, you obviously dont know what its like to love and loose a child, through no fault of his own he had a stroke at the age of 16, which he was victimised about by the social services, not once did they give him a chance or offer to help him in anyway, he fought for his daughter, when a lot of dads out there dont care in anyway, they decided before she was even born that she was going to be taken away, but still let him visit her everyday, unsupervised might i add, and to fall in love with her unconditionally, then cruelly took her away, imagine how YOU would feel if that was YOUR child, find out the REAL facts before you start judging him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Yes, it’s all the fault of the government. But no, wait! It’s actually all the fault of the girlfriend!
by chacha28

“LIDASTRESS- what gives you the right to comment like that, "OMG, his girlfriend needs a white stick and his child need genetic modification, he just needs a box 6 by 2 pine."

firstly if you knew his girlfriend you wouldnt comment like that, she is the most vile person i have ever met, ok, he fell in love with the wrong person but he is goin to be punished for that for the rest of his life, so find out the rest of the story before you go judging people like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she is the reason his daughter was taken away, so ***** about her, not for a father who wasnt given a chance to care for his daughter because he was victimised for havin a stroke, his daughter was taken from him and it broke his heart, there was nothing he could do about it, imagine if it was you and one of your kids, you wouldnt be happy and you'd do anything and i mean ANYTHING, so just THINK, the next time you think its ok to open your mouth about things that dont concern you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
That invites more comments, which incite these charmless pair to even greater fury:
by sann1234

“makes me so sad too read all these comments on this story and people judging this poor young lad, cause not a single 1 of u even know him dnt no wat hes been threw in my eyes this young lad was serving time for his daughter in which he cared very much for so as for u lot who sed he needs gasin and needs shootin take a bit of time too think how he was feeling at the time wen he daughter was been taken away. theres not a chance of this happing again not that its any of any 1 business. all sat there thinking u have the right too judge this young lad well its wrong cause he threw sum water over a socail worker. and yeah i will stick up for this young lad cause in my eyes hes done time for his daughter and the hard time in his life that was at that time!”
There, see! He just ‘threw sum water’. That’s all…
by sann1234

“hello iffyminty can u read the paper proplery he had his daughter taken off his because he had a stoke at the age of 16 and it was due too his disabilites the baby was taken. yes i do beileve he did av the babys interest at heart it obviously broke his heart that much and was unable too sit down and talk too sum 1 because he has limted speech because of his stoke!!!!and needed too take his anger out on sum 1 u sort of people who are up ur own **** wudnt no wat its like for sum 1 like this young had a stoke wen he was very young and goin threw hell!! u just all sit there judging people cause nuufin gos wrong in ur life ur all that perfect pppfft dnt judge people wen u dnt no the half of it u olny no bits wat the paper has put in u havnt got a clue!!!”
See, he ‘needed too take his anger out on sum 1’. Why is everyone making such a big deal out of it?
by Thisisme

“It is very sad that the child had to be taken into care, but with a father who has such a way of dealing with negative things in his life, we might find that a future newspaper might be telling us about the tragedy of a scalded baby. The child may at least now have the chance of a more stable life than her biological father might be able to provide, sad though it is to say.”
Sadly, I think you’re right. I also think we haven’t seen the last of him, either.

* Normal service will no doubt be resumed.

Remind Me Again? The Point Of ASBOs Was..?

A homeless man who threatened staff at Winchester’s hospital has been jailed for nine weeks.

Otto Bingeris, of the Night shelter, Jewry Street, Winchester, pleaded guilty to threatening behaviour at the Royal Hampshire County Hospital on January 3.
On the one hand, a welcome sentence, but…
Magistrates at Winchester heard the incident was his sixth breach of an antisocial behaviour order since it was imposed in Guildford last March.
His sixth?

Why not his second, or his fourth? Why does he get five more chances to make a nuisance of himself?

Wednesday 25 January 2012

Puzzling Story…

A minibus driver was taken away for a "mental health assessment" after police stopped him as he ferried vulnerable passengers through Brentwood.
The Community Link bus, run by Essex County Council and which transports adults needing social care, was pulled over in Western Road, near its junction with William Hunter Way, and later driven away by officers – with passengers still on board and passers-by looking on.
Curious indeed.
The county council has confirmed the driver was provided through another company, Capita Resourcing, which arranges temporary staff, but failed to give public reassurances that there would not be a repeat of the police intervention, on Monday last week.
Why would they need to do so? Surely this man won’t be driving for them again?

And why did this arise? Did a passenger or a member of the public raise concerns?

It seems not:
A police spokesman said: "We were called by the Metropolitan Police shortly before 3.30pm on Monday, January 16, following concerns for a 47-year-old man from East London who was driving a minibus.

"Essex police officers located the minibus in Western Road, took the driver into police custody and he was later taken to a mental health assessment centre."
Even curiouser…
Neither the county council or police revealed what sparked the concerns.
Which doesn’t help. Because now everyone’s free to draw their own (possibly erroneous) conclusions.

Blaming The (Ginger) Victim..

A mum claims bullies have forced her 12-year-old ginger-haired son out of school.

Emma Walsh says she will not let her middle child, Tyler, return to Yate International Academy following an attack last week.

Ms Walsh alleges that Tyler has been a target for bullies ever since he started secondary school 18 months ago, because of his hair colour and because he is keen to learn.
I wonder which is the greater spur to the rabble, the latter, or the former?

Naturally, this being 21st century Britain, the notion that the thugs themselves be punished and removed from the school is anathema. No, it must be the victim:
She is angry that the school's response to the latest incident was to suspend the attacker for one day – and to suggest that her son attend its pupil inclusion unit, for vulnerable students.
That’s a brilliant wheeze to get around the problem of having too many excluded pupils, isn’t it? Keep them in school, and ‘exclude’ everyone else within school grounds!
Tyler, who is in Year 8, was set upon by some Year 10 students and chased into a toilet cubicle where he "freaked out" and had to be rescued by a Year 11 student.

Ms Walsh, 33, a full-time mother, of Wellstead Avenue, said her son had been extremely distressed by the incident, which she had been told happened after the perpetrator "had a bad day" and took it out on the first person he came across.
Awwww, bless! We can’t possibly punish him, can we, if he’s having a bad day, poor little lamb…
"I don't feel my son will be safe at school so I am keeping him at home until he can start at another school next week. I will be tutoring him at home."

Ms Walsh said the academy had told her it would not send work home for Tyler because it was felt that this would be condoning his absence.

"It is like they are punishing him," she said.
No, it’s not ‘like’ they are punishing him – they are punishing him!
Mr Gilbert said in a statement: "Having taken account of all persons' views in this matter the academy has managed the issues raised in accordance with our clearly defined policies and protocols. This has included seeking clarifications from external bodies such as the Education Welfare Service."
Perfect! Who cares that your school is now a laughing stock, you ‘followed procedure’. You must be so proud

Forcing The Police To Act In The Internet Age…

A woman is urging the police to take action after her puppy was killed by another dog.

Kate Nutbourne, 19, from Ryde, on the Isle of Wight, was walking her 12-week-old cockapoo on Appley beach when it was attacked by a "muscular" dog.

She said: "All of a sudden it went for him, crushed his skull, shook him like a rabbit and broke his neck."

On Friday, a police spokeswoman said it was still an open investigation.
Is that open as in ‘we’re actively pursing it’ or open as in ‘well, technically, we haven’t got around to binning it just yet’..?
She added: "While we can't do anything under section three of Dangerous Dogs Act, because there wasn't an attack on a human, we are taking statements from the dog owners to see exactly what happened and establish whether there was an offence under any other part of the act."
Which didn’t seem to be a concern of the first responders:
Ms Nutbourne said when she first reported the attack on Wednesday afternoon she was told there was nothing that could be done about a dog on dog attack even though the owner of the two year-old Staffordshire bull terrier was standing close by and had refused to put his animal on a lead.

"The only real advice we've been given is that we'll have to make a private prosecution, which we can't afford to do," she added.

"It makes me really angry."
Yes, me too. Luckily, there’s a happy ending, of sorts:
A dog which killed a puppy on a beach on the Isle of Wight has been put down, police have confirmed.
The beast was – apparently – voluntarily surrendered to police.
Insp Kelvin Shipp, from Ryde police, said: "I have visited the puppy's owners and they are happy with our actions.

"We have been actively pursuing lines of inquiry since Wednesday and our inquiries are continuing to establish if any further offences have been committed."
Possibly, though, not those committed by the offending dog owner!
Police have also refuted reports in the media and on social media sites claiming they had not taken action.
Well, well, well…

Truth hurts, doesn’t it? Initially, you didn’t take any action, preferring to fob off the injured party with references to civil litigation.

It was only when she started up an internet campaign and started getting media attention that you sprang into action. So don't be surprised when this starts happening more and more...

So, Suddenly, Ignorance Of The Law IS An Excuse?

Dallas told her fellow jurors she discovered that Medlock had previously been accused, and acquitted, of rape - information not given during the trial.
Her actions caused the collapse of Barry Medlock's grievous bodily harm trial at Luton Crown Court, the High Court was told yesterday.
Just another dumb juror?
Theodora Dallas, 34, said the judge spoke 'too formally and softly' for her to understand.

She told the High Court that she had 'no intention' to 'influence' the jury but had struggled to understand what the trial judge was saying.
Yup, probably unemployed (or unemployable), or a minimum wage cleaner or shopgirl or…

Dallas, a psychology lecturer at the University of Bedfordshire
'We submit that the reason that she did it was to influence other members of the jury, she did this deliberately in a calculated manner in the face of protest from other jurors,' Mr Grieve said
He added: 'The jury officer, the judge, the notices placed all over the jury area and in the retiring room all make reference explicitly to the internet.'
Quite! It’s hard to see how that excuse is going to fly, but full marks to the defence for persevering with it:
Charles Parry, defending, said that the warnings of the judge were more like 'a godfather giving advice to a child rather than with emphasis.'
It sounds like even a child would have been able to comprehend. Maybe someone should take another look at her qualifications?

Meanwhile, in bucolic Yorkshire:
Police fighting to stop Eastern European migrants binge drinking in the street have put up posters in seven different languages saying that alcohol is banned.

Officers in Armley, West Yorkshire, had the message translated into Slovak, Czech, Polish, Russian, Latvian and Lithuanian. It is also written in English.
It’s nice to see English there, even if it is as an afterthought…
Inspector Mark Wheeler, senior neighbourhood officer for Armley, said that reports of street drinking in the area had been 'on the increase due to Eastern Europeans coming and not fully understanding the regulations.'
So, who cares? Just bang ‘em up!
They brought in the signs so people cannot plead for leniency claiming they could not read the English signs.
Do you suppose English people caught committing crimes abroad can claim leniency on the grounds they couldn’t read the signs?

No, me neither. Maybe they have more intelligent judges over there?

H/T: CJ Nerd via email

Surely This Is Sex Discrimination?

A notorious prostitute who was the first to be given an ASBO in Blackburn has had the order extended.

Natasha Coker, 25, has already been jailed after numerous breaches of the conditions - originally imposed for soliciting in January 2010.

At Blackburn Magistrates’ Court on Friday, Coker, of no fixed address, had the ASBO extended for a further two years.
So, ASBO didn’t work, jailing for breach of the ASBO didn’t work. Maybe this time, nothing will work.

So, let’s try it!
Sgt Kevin Jones from the Blackburn North West Neighbourhood Policing Team said: “We have tried to work with Coker but her refusal to engage with the support we have offered leaves us with no other option than to extend the length of the Order.

“If she continues this behaviour she will risk a custodial sentence and I hope she uses this as an opportunity to rehabilitate herself and get her life back on track.”
She’s already had custodial sentences. Weren’t you listening?
Lancashire Police launched an initiative in 2009 where educational courses were offered to both street sex workers and kerb crawlers on first arrest in Blackburn.

The course costs £75 for men and is free for women. It aims to raise awareness of the law around prostitution, the dangers, health risks and the impact of their behaviour on the community.
Errr, hang on. Why the discrepancy?

It's presumably seen as a 'punishment' for men, while a 'valuable service' for streetwalkers, I take it?

Tuesday 24 January 2012

This Is Major League Extracting Of The Urine, Even By Liverpool Standards!

The mother of a four-year-old boy who was savaged and killed by an illegal breed of dog has written to the Prime Minister calling for a change in the law.
A four-year-old boy mauled to death by a..? Could it be..?

Why, yes! Amazingly, it is!

Wait, wait…

*gets popcorn*

OK, go ahead! What’s the change you are demanding, hmm? Chav families to be unable to own dogs, perhaps?
She said she had written to the Prime Minister calling for tougher dog laws which would see them muzzled both in public places and in owners' homes.

I’m sorry? All dogs?

Mrs Smith’s elderly Pomeranian? Mr Granger’s arthritic old Peke? They should all be muzzled 24/7/365 in their own homes because you let your four-year-old get eaten by your own family dog, FFS?
John-Paul's mother Angela McGlynn told BBC Breakfast that the family believed Uno was an American bulldog and they were not aware of any dangerous dog lists.

It’s a wonder you weren’t hounded (pardon the pun) off the set by incredulous laughter...
Ms McGlynn added muzzling dogs indoors as well as outdoors was the only way to stop dogs doing "any lasting damage".
Oh, well, why listen to common sense and expert opinion when you can be lectured on responsible courses of action by people (and I use that word advisedly) like these?
She said she had received a reply from David Cameron, who said her proposals would be "taken into consideration".
Yes, well, something you are probably too dim to realise is that it’s the polite, Whitehall way of saying ‘Yes, dear…’ before it gets filed in the round file.

No doubt after the office staff have had a good laugh at your chutzpah…
She said: "All I want to do is raise pet awareness basically, because you do think when the dog is brought up as part of the family it becomes part of the furniture and you don't expect it, and it did happen, and it does happen and it doesn't have to happen. It's not down to the owners. I know some dogs are mistreated but some dogs aren't and they do turn and I would just say rather safe than sorry, really."
Oh, on that, you’re quite right. I think the world would be a far better place without indiscriminate breeding and training of the young to be unsociable dangerous nuisances.

When do we wise up and start to fit muzzles to the likes of you?

Reality Shows – Dangerous To Your Health?

Well, apparently, if you are a NHS worker:
More patients and visitors are attacking staff at Staffordshire's biggest hospital every year.

Latest figures show 165 workers were assaulted at the University Hospital of North Staffordshire in 2010/11.

That is up from 105 in 2008/09 and 148 in 2009/10.
And this is the fault of fly-on-the-wall TV? Really?
Union leaders today blamed the rise on gritty fly-on-the-wall television documentaries, which can glorify clashes with the emergency services.
In just what way do they ‘glorify’ them? Pretty much every one I’ve ever seen – and I don’t watch that many – makes it quite clear that this is unacceptable.

You’d have to be a complete moron to think…

Oh, wait.
Unison branch spokesman Geoff Wilson said: "The vast majority of sensible people watch these documentaries and are horrified if they see nurses, police, firefighters and ambulance workers being attacked simply for doing their jobs.

"But there are a worrying few out there who watch someone being hit in other parts of the country and then think it's all right for them to get one back at what they see as authority when they need emergency services in North Staffordshire.

"We are more than happy with how our local health trusts are doing their best to protect staff, but what you do about people copying what they see on television is another matter."
In other words, you can’t find a way to blame the health trusts for this, so you’re going after TV companies? How about you go after the people that actually do it?

Because I rather doubt they are rabid reality tv watchers anyway, at least, not that sort of reality tv.
Managers have put the rise in attacks down to staff being more willing to report incidents.
Urged by their union, no doubt. So….maybe they should be taking their share of the blame?

Why not? After all, it makes about as much sense as blaming Channel 4 or the BBC…

Reading Between The Lines…

School rules and chav haircuts again. Let’s see what the papers say, shall we?
Ms Burgin, 31, of Netherfield, said she had been told Jake could return to school, but would be placed in isolation until his hair has changed in accordance with school policy.

"I'm not sending him to school to sit in isolation. I don't see that he has done anything wrong. Yet he is being punished for it," said Ms Burgin, who has three other sons, Chace, eight, Che, six, Gage, three, who all go to Netherfield Primary School. The family say they have met representatives from Carlton le Willows but they haven't been able to come up with a solution.
Translation: ‘It’s so unfair! They ain’t backing down, like they oughta, innit?’
Jake returned to school on Friday after his dad Andrew Hayday, 37, of Colwick, met head teacher Craig Weaver to discuss the issue. Ms Burgin then received a letter from Mr Weaver on Saturday.
Translation: ‘Psst! Commenters! Look, father & mother have different names! Feel free to speculate…’
Jake's grandmother, Lynn Loach, 51, of Gedling, added: "Jake wears the uniform properly every day. He's had a difficult time in the last couple of years. Now he has been sent home for doing nothing wrong."
Translation: ‘I’m alluding to some ‘issues’ in the family to gain sympathy, but I’m not telling the papers just what they are, in case the commenters go against us.. ’
In a statement, Mr Weaver said: "It is entirely appropriate for Carlton le Willows to have a uniform policy. Our policy on uniform, by its very definition, requires pupils to be generally 'conventional' in terms of their dress and appearance. This high standard helps to set an appropriate tone at the academy.

"The vast majority of parents ensure that their child or children come to school in accordance with our requirements.

"However, parents, of course, do have freedom, under the School Admissions Code, to send their children to a school of their choosing, assuming that is the school is not full, where different procedures apply.''
Translation: ‘Here are the rules you signed up to. Fit in, or f**k off!’

Finally Getting Tough?

Lauren Barrington-Brown, 19, of Livingstone Road, Thornton Heath, who became a mum just before the New Year, wept as she was sentenced to 33 months detention at Croydon Crown Court on Friday January 6 alongside 16 and 15 year old girls who cannot be named.

The three were charged with false imprisonment, actual bodily harm and administering poison, namely fire, with intent to injure after carrying out a brutal attack on the 13-year-old girl in Grangewood Park, Thornton Heath on June 9, 2010.
Wow! Normally, the combined ‘pussy pass’ plus ‘expectant mum pass’ would have almost certainly seen her freed with a suspended sentence.

The crime must have been pretty appalling:
Her hair was cut and burned, blistering her head, her arm was cut with a tile, she was trapped in a bush barefoot and told to crawl out, spat upon and hit with a brick before being freed.

They then threatened her family would be attacked if she reported them.
And this was all over what?
The attack was launched because they believed the victim was spreading rumours about the 16-year-old described by Judge Pratt as “the prime mover.”
Ah. Of course. Just another day among the feral underclass…
In mitigation the lawyers defending both Barrington-Brown and the 15-year-old argued they were afraid of this girl, who pleaded not guilty to the charges but was convicted at a trial in November 2011.
Yes, well, that’s not really much of an excuse, is it?

Monday 23 January 2012

Now We Know The Price For Sticking Two Fingers Up At A Court...

He was also fined £100 after driving himself to court for an earlier court hearing into the matter, despite still having no insurance, and was banned from driving for six years.
Yes, he got the top end of the sort of sentence allowed for this, but I'm not sure that's very much comfort for the families.

The Intellectual Might Of The Left, In All Its Glory...

One of the delights of Twitter is the 'ReTweet' functionality, whereby people you are following can bring to your notice something said by someone they are following.

And so, I received a retweet from someone claiming that the phrase 'derp' (or sometimes, 'herp derp'), often used to indicate something particularly foolish, was - oh, horror of horrors! - 'disablist', as it poked fun at the 'intellectually disabled'. We were all commanded not to use it.

Intrigued, I took a look at the bio of the person claiming this. Yes, it was as I expected...

What was interesting, and enlightening though, as you can see from the image, is her method of dealing with people who disagreed with her bald statement of fact, and presented links to definitions of the term and the source of the meme itself to back that up:

Yup! She promptly blocked them.

This is the Twitter equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and going 'La la la la I CAN'T HEAR YOU la la la...'

Which, given that most of her interlocutors were of the left themselves, proved something of an object lesson for them...

It's nice to see the fledgling left get a glimpse of their heroes (heroines?) with their panties on display, isn't it? Let's hope it provides an object lesson.

And They Say ‘CSI’ Is Too Far Fetched…

An apparent murder case which remained unsolved for nearly 25 years has been closed after investigators concluded that a six-year-old boy was killed by a pack of dogs in a tragic accident.
Which, given cause of death was apparently strangulation, is quite a feat!
The case was twice investigated and then closed, but a new investigation from the FBI and North Carolina police used cutting-edge technology to determine that Nicholas could have been strangled by animals, not by a human.
I’m all ears:
They have concluded that the boy was attacked by dogs while he was walking his own pet, a collie which was in heat - which police believe attracted the other dogs.
The dogs pulled on the hoodie he was wearing, tightening it around his neck and choking off his air supply.
Forensic experts used new photographic technology to examine the marks on Nicholas' neck, and compare them to the fabric of his clothing.
Thus, surely, only proving that he was strangled with the cord, not whodunit?
They also decided that scratches found on Nicholas' body were probably inflicted by dogs.
Which, since he had two dogs with him, who might well have pawed his unresponsive body, doesn’t really prove anything either.

Is it me? Or would this one not even make it out of the scriptwriter’s initial coffee and doughnuts meeting?

Yeah, That’ll Work. Like A Charm…

Halliday appeared at Southend Magistrates’ Court and admitted possessing quantities of cocaine, heroin and methadone and using threatening behaviour as she argued with her former partner in Guildford Road, Southend, on September 24 last year.
Mitigation will be good, I’m sure.
A court heard Dionne Halliday, 26, was turning her life around for the sake of her son and unborn child.
Oh, here it comes..
The single mother…has since moved to Meadow Road, Barking, in a bid to turn her back on her old lifestyle.
Brilliant idea! There’s no drugs in Barking, or drug addicts!
Helen Walsh, mitigating, said: “The last few months have been very stressful for Miss Halliday, who had been in an abusive relationship for eight months. It culminated in, not long before Christmas, her former partner holding her hostage for nine days.”

Mrs Walsh added: “The drugs were in her possession, but she didn’t intend to use them. She felt that she had to look after them for her partner at the time.”
Yes, I too believe that she was just ‘holding them for a friend’. Perhaps I should be a magistrate?

Sunday 22 January 2012

I Guess The Wikipedia Blackout Will Take The Blame..?

For anyone who doesn't remember, it was ONE tiger that escaped and there was no crowd, it being late at night. It was in San Francisco, though, so they at least got that right...

Meanwhile, at the Goulburn Post, a terrifying new threat from dangerous dogs - a vicious massage:

Unless they meant Shih Tzu Maltese cross..?

Term Of The Week At 'This Is Essex'...

...is clearly 'squared up to'. Which, thinking about it, is probably right...

The Vehicle Of The Future!

..is a killer! At least, according to the 'Fail':

Michael Knight never had that sort of trouble with KITT!

Sunday Funnies

Maybe the NHS isn't so bad after all....

Saturday 21 January 2012

Well, Of Course They Are Laughing At The Law…

sickening scenes outside court today saw yob Daniel Chrapkowski wildly celebrate avoiding jail for a drunken attack which left an innocent bystander in hospital for a month.
Who is surprised? Not me…
… his lout friend Thomas Lane swore and squared up to photographers, after both were given non-custodial sentences by a judge.
Thus providing great photo opportunities.
The two thugs, along with a third man, Oliver O'Neill, 23, had battered Joseph O'Reilly, 24, after he had dared to ask why they were kicking over wheelie bins in Manchester city centre.

The drunken gang proceeded to savagely set about Mr O'Reilly, who was punched, knocked to the floor and kicked in the face and stomach before the cowardly trio fled.

During the brutal beating, one of the gang boasted: 'I've just been let out for GBH' before Mr O'Reilly was knocked to the floor then repeatedly kicked about the head.
And it wasn’t an idle boast, either. He had.

So, what about mitigation? It must have been good, right?
In mitigation for jobless Chrapkowski, defence counsel Miss Katie Jones said: 'He is extremely remorseful and wishes to apologise to the court. It is extremely out of character in a misguided attempt to protect his friend. '
Suuuuuuuure it’s out of character. Choirboys always hang around with scum, everyone knows that…
For sign writer Lane, Paul Hodgkinson said: 'He accepts he had been out drinking and engaging in tomfoolery - kicking around bins and that they were confronted.

'He became embroiled in an argument with a member of the public which he shouldn't have done but that mischief doesn't cross the custody threshold.'
So, participating in beating a man nearly to death is now ‘tomfoolery’?

No, Judge, It’s Not The Demon Drink…

…it’s the fact that the chippy little s**t thinks that he’s above the law. Something you’ve just helped to confirm:
Thug Omar Javid has walked free from court despite attacking four police officers in a shocking drunken spree.

The 21-year-old, of Kingsholm, grabbed one PC by the throat, kicked another two and then lashed out at a fourth, telling him he would go to his house and "beat him up".
And what prompted this?
It came after he was stopped in the city centre for making pig noises at officers.
And the little idiot clearly didn’t care who saw this:
But a group of around 10 to 15 people filmed the fracas outside Liquid nightclub in Eastgate Street, Gloucester, resulting in him appearing at Gloucester Magistrates Court.
Whoops! Bet he thought he’d get a starring role in a YouTube video rather than a starring role in the dock.
Javid, of Hyde Close, denied four charges of assaulting a constable in the execution of his or her duty.
That was never going to fly. The camera doesn’t lie.
At the trial he claimed the snorts were directed at a group of girls.

And it seems this is partially caused by another of those stop and searches that cause so much pain to the ‘innocent’
Police checked his documents while he sat in his car the night before the incident on September 24.

He said he felt unfairly targeted because of that, and only wanted to establish with police why they wanted his name.
So, a simple question would have sufficed.
District Judge Martin Brown found Javid, a student, guilty of all four charges.

"This should never have happened and would probably not have happened were you sober," he said.
Riiiiighht. It was the booze wot dun it, clearly.
Javid was put under a six week curfew from 7pm to 7am, ordered to pay £100 compensation each to PC Tutton and PC Gibbon and make a contribution of £300 to prosecution costs.
Big deal. Given he's a student, who's paying it anyway?

No, The Kid’s Aren’t Alright…

Bafta-nominated Adam Deacon, 28, star of Kidulthood, was due to give a talk at Woodbridge High School in Redbridge.
Deacon grew up on a Hackney council estate and is seen as a role model after becoming an acclaimed writer, director, actor and rapper.
Perfect! Just what the kiddiewinks need as a role model, eh? You can keep your bank managers, your scientists, your front-line firefighters/nurses/policemen. What sort of role model are they?

No, it’s got to be someone who’s achieved fame
He said: "I got a call from my manager saying the headteacher had seen the type of films that I make and cancelled without doing any research into what I'm about.
"Anyone who knows anything about me will know that I've only ever been about positivity and motivating the youth. I do school talks on a monthly basis all around London. We've only ever had a good feedback from the students and the teachers."
So, how did the pupils take this?
Angry pupils used the BlackBerry Messenger service and Twitter to claim a protest was taking place.
You say ‘protest’, I say ‘riot’…
One pupil who identified herself as Zoe, 12, claimed she saw 50 children taking part outside the school. She said: "They were running around and getting into big groups. Someone from year six threw a brick and smashed a window and people were running around screaming and shouting."
Hard to tell it was anything other than a normal school day there, really…

The head went into damage-limitation mode:
Headteacher Andrew Beaumont denied any protests had taken place. He said: "Woodbridge High School can confirm that a visit by the actor Adam Deacon had been arranged by a member of staff at very short notice this week but unfortunately I had to cancel the visit.
"This was to ensure the correct checks and procedures were followed as is the case when any external speaker visits the school. As a result some pupils at the school were disappointed."
In the comments, we see just how that ‘disappointment’ manifests itself.

What these comments show (assuming they are from genuine pupils) is the massive entitlement and arrogance of today’s generation:
I think that people are being really unfair to the Woodbridge students ! People are tarnishing us with the same brush , not all of the students have been protesting . I dont think that its really the teachers fault . The teachers had no idea when and where the protests were going to happen and there was over a thousand students against under 15 teachers . All of the stories about bricks being thrown through windows are lies ! Our head-teacher has a reason to deny the protests because there are too many stories to believe ! Although , i do think that the students of Woodbridge are doing it because the opportunity is there. Its not really for other people to comment about since they obviously dont know what happened .

- Woodbridge Student, London, 19/01/2012 20:58
*gets popcorn*
The actions carried out by the school were totally unfair and unjust, yes I do agree maybe some aspect of his films do play negativity but HELLO he's an actor, Woodbridge should of done previous research of the charity work he does and the speeches he does on a monthly basis! Poor planning by Woodbridge not a surprise... I can confirm that there WERE disturbances by outraged pupils and these were shown by the bricks thrown in windows, fire alarms going off and the teachers getting trampled! I do feel for Adam as now he will be p***** as ever but the fact that there was a buzz around school that Adam was coming and that's all what I could hear from every corridor. It was really exciting for students, given that we have exams and all. But the problem is that there is poor communication within Woodbridge, the lack of communication disappoints many of us sixth formers. Adam will never come to Woodbridge and nor will any external speaker. The only external visitor that we will get is Ofsted.

- Woodbridge sixth form student, London, 19/01/2012 17:53
And what a tough job they are going to have to avoid putting this school in special measures...
Mr Andrew Beaumont, Head teacher at Wood bridge high school canceled the appearance from Adam Deacon due to thinking he was a BAD role model because of the films he has been in and produced. Well I myself think he is a brilliant role model. Our school has been rioting for two days now. Mr Beaumont lies about there has not been riot and protesting because there has and there are many pictures and videos on internet site such as; Twitter, Facebook and Blackberry Messenger. He also lied about not locking the pupils in their form rooms which he did. When the fire alarm went off, he did not let the children out of the building,he made us all stay in our form rooms, the school could of been burning down for all he cared.

- Woodbridge Rioter, Woodford, 19/01/2012 17:50
I’m not going to do the (sic) thing, because, frankly, it’s too much effort when the commenters are this ill-educated. Luckily, it isn’t all in txt-speak…
I was there and can confirm that Andrew Beaumont's statement is completely false. Mass protest and anarchy gripped the school and forced all lessons to be cancelled and the students to be held in their form rooms until the end of the school day. Mr Beaumont's dealing of the situation was completely insufficient and his cancellation of Adam Deacon's visit unjust and misinformed.

- Woodbidge Rioter, Woodford, 19/01/2012 15:06
A day without any lessons! Think how that could harm their futures…


Luckily, there are saner heads on this thread:
These protests are absolutely ridiculous. Obviously there was a poor communication from the staff to the students about Adam Deacons appearance, but the reaction from the students is preposterous.

The students are no longer rioting about Adam Deacon, but the fact that they now can, and will push it to see how far they can go.

Most of these students caught up in the protests obviously have no understanding of the importance of there education, and no care for it. They would quite happily quit school now and enter a life of endless benefits.

- Woodbridge Sixth Form Student, Woodford, 19/01/2012 19:24
Yes, no doubt that’s all they can hope for. I mean, would you offer any of these monstrously entitled slobs a job?
They were running around and getting into big groups. Someone from year six threw a brick and smashed a window and people were running around screaming and shouting."

Well people do wonder what has happened to Redbridge, once a massive jewish area, very clean and well behaved kids, now gone, and down the pan like the rest of East London!

- Ed, London, 19/01/2012 11:08
How very true. And it throws new light on those youth unemployment figures, doesn’t it?