Well, I Suppose They Did At Least Get The Species And Breed Right This Time...

 ..which, let's face it. is good going for this particular member of the MSM!

Germiran Bryson, 26, showed up at Las Vegas’ Harry Reid International Airport with her two-year-old goldendoodle earlier this month, only to be turned away when she didn’t have the proper paperwork to bring the pup aboard as a service animal.

*sighs* A two year old dog is in no sense 'a puppy'... 

I Beg Your Pardon?

                                 

The term is 'hangdog'....

Not Quite, 'Mail'...

 

...mauling implies teeth and claws - horned and antlered animals gore you to death. Although given it was a whitetail deer, the hooves probably did most of the damage.

According to her obituary, Proger was 'an avid animal lover' who liked to ride horses and rescue injured creatures.

A noble endeavour, but you always have to remember, they don't necessarily feel the same way about you. 

How Will They Get The Cork Out With Their Little Paws?

I mean, sometimes even I struggle, and I've got the benefit of opposable thumbs!

Maybe Not, But Failing To Proofread Should Be....

Unless 'baclony' is one of those odd Noo Yawk processed meat products?

Journalists In Glass Houses...

...really shouldn't be throwing stones at dim Yanks who can't recongise a model elephant when they see one:

Especially not when, just a short scroll up the page, you've printed this.

It's A Wonder Modern Journalists Can Find Their Offices...

                                            

And this is illustrated by something even more stupid....

So when did Glastonbury move, since I'm pretty sure Stonehenge can't?

H/T: the Meissen Bison via email

The 'Mail' Needs A TV Show Called 'QI'...

...for 'Quite Ignorant':

It was a Learjet. They aren't equipped with ejector seats, being civilian luxury passenger aircraft.

Say What, 'Mail'..?

Rhino gore, they don't 'maul'...

Going Into 2025 Just The Same As Ever, 'Mail'?

Through the what? The doorbell? 

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

All The Right Words...

...just not necessarily in the right order.

One Too Many 'Nots' To Untangle That Headline....

I'll have another drink, then it might start to make sense....

You've Got A Great Memory For Names, 'Mail' Editor...

...not so good at spelling them, though.

So Bad They Named Him Twice?

Or did they get him confused with Boutros Boutros Ghali?

Subtitles Would Help With That, I Think!

Never change, 'Mail'...

Apart From Being A Different Animal Entirely, 'Mail'?

 

And lacking a barbed tail?

But the image caused a stir online with many fans confusing the aquatic animal with a stingray, a fish that tragically killed his father Steve Irwin in 2006.

Just like your headline writer did?

I...I Can't Even...

Why would that be the word you grab for? When 'Mammal' fits just as well in the headline? It's England, we don't even have marsupials! 

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Funny Looking 'Jet', 'Daily Mail' Editor...

 

What exactly do you think that spinny thing on the nose is, an airconditioning fan? 

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Are You Drunk, 'Mail' Writers?

Because this is impressive even by your low standards! 

Is It Before Or After 'E'?

If in doubt, perhaps just leave it out altogether...