Tuesday 31 October 2017

Tweet Of The Month

A new feature, and first honours go to Obnoxio:

Post Title Of The Month

Mark Wadsworth reads the weather:

Quote Of The Month

DumbJon makes a welcome return with this little gem on policing and the Conservative voter:
Meanwhile, is there anyone who works more than five miles from Westminister who doesn't think kicking PC Nailpolish back out onto the streets would be a vote winner? To put it the other way: who exactly is this guy who is going to vote Tory but only as long as they make cops walk round in high heels? Someone track this guy down!

Post Of The Month

A two-way tie this month, as Tim Newman lifts the curtain on the ways of the hotel industry, while Bill Sticker ponders the future of transport.

But Wait, What About Those 'Cuts'..?

King's College London has been criticised over a "deeply problematic" policy to hire £12-an-hour "safe space marshals" to patrol events checking there is no offensive content.
I thought universities were struggling?
Job ads on KCL Student Union's website offers £11.89 per hour - £13.32 if holiday pay is included - to monitor student groups' talks "which have been risk assessed as having potential for a Safe Space breech [sic]".
I guess they don't teach English anymore....
The monitors are expected to put up "Safe Space posters" and take "immediate appropriate action" if the safe space policy is breached.
What, fisticuffs?
The marshals have the power to eject attendees - including speakers - from events if they do not comply.
They might have the power, but who knows if they have the ability....
A King's College London spokesman told the MailOnline: "Universities have a unique challenge to create environments in which open and uncensored debate from all sides on issues of political, scientific, moral, ethical and religious significance can take place without fear of intimidation and within the framework of the law.
"We are proud of our diverse community and are absolutely committed to academic freedom and free, peaceful and respectful dialogue where people have conflicting views."
Blah, blah, blah...

Monday 30 October 2017

Should Have Been Their Throats....

A couple who tried to cover up their baby's death by staging the discovery of her body on a bus in east London have had their sentences cut.
Please don't tell me it's because they thought this crime wasn't so bad? Or because the two subhumans have 'shown remorse'?
Announcing the decision, Mr Justice Jay said: "This is a case with numerous aggravating features. Imani was defenceless and extremely vulnerable.
"Both appellants were in a position of trust towards her which they grossly abused."
A pre-sentence report on Wiltshire "stated that he was continuing to distance himself entirely from any culpability", while a report on Baker, said the judge, "stated that she minimised her responsibility for the offence and placed most of the blame on Wiltshire".
In the court's judgement, the sentencing judge "gave insufficient weight to his finding that this was a case of constructive knowledge, albeit one which... was at the upper end of the spectrum of gravity applicable to such cases".
Mr Justice Jay added: "We are accordingly persuaded that the sentences he imposed were manifestly excessive."

Good Electric Fences Make Good Neighbours....

Marina Bolton, 57, of Newington Avenue, Southend, admitted assault and criminal damage after leaving victim Jo Bates with a number of nasty bruises to her face and body.
Mrs Bates, 50, a nurse and charity worker who runs the Southend Homeless Hub, told how the attack took place on April 9 in front of grandsons Matthew, four, and Bradley, seven.
She said there was bad blood between the pair because Bolton had planted “huge” eucalyptus trees in her garden and allowed her Great Dane to damage the fence. She also said Bolton’s CCTV cameras point into her garden.
She said: “When I moved in 12 years ago there were no problems but she has turned into a nightmare neighbour.
“I had my grandchildren here so I went to the shops and bought the boys some water pistols. I put some music on and they were playing in the garden.
“Matthew decided to water the roses and some of the water went over the fence. He is only four years old. There was just the most horrendous shouting and screaming.
“The next thing I knew she was in my house. I was kicked and punched for ten minutes.
“I managed to get to the phone and dial 999. I couldn’t speak to the operator but they heard the tail end of the assault.”
Beating up a woman in front of children, after invading her home? She's going down, for sur....

Bolton admitted assault by beating and causing £550 of damage to a wooden side gate, a speaker and an internal door. She was handed a four-week prison sentence, suspended for 12 months, at Southend Magistrates’ Court.
Bolton was also told to pay £1,220 compensation.
I bet the excuses were just too good?

In mitigation, Bolton, a self-employed cleaner, argued that she had poor mental health and was provoked by the child’s use of the water pistol.
Speaking after the hearing, she said Mrs Bates was the problem neighbour and a “green-eyed monster”.
She said: “I have nice cars and I have spent a lot of money on my house. She just wants her pound of flesh.
“At the end of the day I was in her house and I pleaded guilty. All she sustained were some bruises.”
What a lovely woman.

Saturday 28 October 2017

If She'd Acted With Half This Amount Of Passion & Apparent Sincerity...

...maybe she'd still have a career in showbiz:
'I called my attorney & said I want to get my script back, but before I could, #2 @amazonstudios called to say my show was dead,' claimed McGowan.
That move meant that she was no longer able to take her screenplay to another studio or network in an attempt to develop her work elsewhere, and that Amazon would forever hold the rights.
'I am calling on you to stop funding rapists, alleged pedos and sexual harassers. I love @amazonstudios but there is rot in Hollywood.'
She closed out by stating: 'Be the change you want to see in the world. Stand with truth. #ROSEARMY #Amazon.'
Nuttier than my Christmas fruitcake. If only there'd been some sort of warning that...

McGowan revealed that she had sold her show to Amazon last September, with the series supposedly an account of her youth growing up as a member of the Children of God.
The alarm bells should really have been ringing a lot earlier, shouldn't they?

"Is That A Pistol On Your Facebook Page, Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me?!

A man was prosecuted for posting a picture of himself on Facebook posing with...
...airsoft equipment.
Christopher Turnbull, of Grangemouth, Scotland, was charged with a criminal offence for posting the picture, which was seen by a Stuart Brodie of Police Scotland.
No surprise there, I guess!
The 45-year-old was eventually cleared at Falkirk Sheriff Court (magistrates' court) on August 31 – but his pleas for prosecutors and the legal system to see common sense before the trial went unheard.
Oh, bless him! He thinks there's common sense in the legal system! I wonder if he believes in fairies & unicorns too?
Turnbull was charged with posting pictures and videos that were "grossly offensive or of an indecent, obscene or menacing manner, in that they depicted [Turnbull] in possession of a cache of firearms and explosives".
I'm amazed Police Scotland haven't made utter fools of themselves before this, raiding 'Blockbusters'...

"Jings ma boab, sarge, there's thousands of offences..!"
In a vain attempt to make procurator fiscal (Crown prosecutor) Jennifer Harrower do the right thing and drop the case, Turnbull's solicitor, William McIntyre, wrote: "My client's concern is that he wonders why he has been singled out for prosecution from the fifty thousand or so other members of the United Kingdom Airsoft Retailers Association who regularly post these types of images on social media. I am not sure if you are aware of the fact that Airsoft is an extremely popular leisure pursuit all over the world, as well as within Central Scotland where there are skirmish sites in both Grangemouth and Bonnybridge."
He added that around 300 pictures had been posted in July alone on the airsoft group where Police Scotland's Stuart Brodie had copied the pictures for the prosecution.
Indeed! One wonders just what it was that poor Turnbull did to provoke the ire of Police Scotland. And least you think that the justice system up there finally came to its senses...
We understand a break in the chain of evidence rendered the prosecution's evidence legally worthless.
Which could be a hurried attempt to back out with less egg on their faces, or could be that they are incompetent as well as wasteful and authoritarian.
El Reg understands that the comments contained numerous unmistakable references to airsoft games.
And it was the removal of these that apparently scuppered the case. So can't they be done for tampering with evidence?

H/T: Ivan Turner via email

Friday 27 October 2017

The Lives Of Others...

Sixteen-year-old Ciara Witt witnessed her close friend Jack Gudge, 17, get hit during a fight with a group of men outside a Tesco Express store and cradled him in her arms as he died.
An inquest heard she had taken his death very badly, with one friend describing it as the 'last straw' in her troubled life.
It's an unedifying story....
Ciara disappeared on November 4 last year - the day after the funeral - and was later in the garage of her home in Bournemouth, Dorset.
Police had been called at 11.30pm on the day she went missing and officers arrived at her house at about 4am on November 5 but failed to look in the garage at that time.
It wasn't until 9.30pm that night that Ciara's body was found by a 15-year-old family friend.
Not the loft, this time? Well, I suppose that's progress.
The mistake was later compounded after investigating officers failed to remove vital evidence of the method used by Ciara to take her own life.
Ciara's grandmother Lesley Hartwell told the inquest how police left behind a section of the device the youngster used to end her life.
'I had to go in to remove it and I want to know why that wasn't done. It's disgusting.'
Sometimes, the lengths newspapers have to go to to avoid 'revealing the method of suicides' are ridiculous!
Dorset coroner Rachael Griffin said: 'I am very sorry that you had to experience that. It is unacceptable. You should not have had to do that.'
Addressing the police officers at the inquest Mrs Griffin added: 'That concerns me that you forgot to search the garage. How can you reassure me that won't happen again?'
Well, she can't hang herself twice, can she?
The hearing heard Ciara had some problems with her mood and had previously self-harmed and had been referred to CAMS (Children and Adolescent Mental Health Service).
But she became very low following Jack's death in July last year.
And how did her dear childhood friend come to shuffle off this mortal coil?
Jack died after falling to the ground and suffered brain injuries before going into cardiac arrest. Three men aged 27, 24 and 23 and a 15-year-old boy were initially arrested on suspicion of murder but police later confirmed no one will face criminal charges.
Ah! We can all read between those lines, can't we?
Hundreds of mourners attended Jack's funeral on November 3, where he was buried in a bright blue coffin designed to look like an Adidas shoebox. He had a flower arrangement spelling his favourite word 'Chav'.
Yup! We can see why there was no prosecution, but let's get the official record:
John Montague, senior district crown prosecutor for Crown Prosecution Service Wessex, said: "In order for the case to progress there has to be an unlawful act, I am of the view that we cannot prove that the actions of the 24-year-old man were unlawful. The decision was taken in accordance with the Code for Crown Prosecutors."
Translation: 'It was self defence, the little scrote's mouth wrote a cheque his body couldn't cash'.

Pass The Parcel....

In response to a query from Cornwall Live, the police said dog-on-dog attacks were a matter for Cornwall Council’s dog warden team. However, the council said any dog that was deemed to be dangerous was the responsibility of the police.
A spokeswoman for Cornwall Council said: “Dangerous dog issues fall under the police’s jurisdiction. While Cornwall Council’s Public Protection team will collect stray dogs that have been secured by the public, matters of dogs behaving in a dangerous manner are dealt with by the police.”
And round and round it goes on the public sector Magic Roundabout....

Thursday 26 October 2017

And Darwin Is Foiled Again...

Thinking his find might be a fish’s bladder, art dealer Mr Bennett picked the animal up with his bare hands, took it back to his home just minutes from the beach and popped it in the fridge.
It was only when the avid beachcomber, who has an interest in marine life, decided to research what the strange blue coloured sac was that he discovered how dangerous it can be.

Devaluing Hell....

Ms Attala, 43, of Old Shoreham Road, Portslade, said she and her daughter Isabella, 12, had been held hostage in their own home by the noise.
She said: “They started major, loud works, which included industrial machines and floodlights, right next to my house from 10pm on Thursday to 2.30am the following morning.
“These included disc cutters for the metal pipes, a generator and crew of five to six men chatting and whistling through the night.
“I had to get up for work at 6am and my daughter had to go to school.
“We had hardly any sleep at all and it was a living hell with my daughter and I crying and trying to sleep at 2am.”
So, basically, you were kept awake for 4 and a half hours, while the vital work to keep you supplied with water went on? And that's 'a night of hell'..?

Wednesday 25 October 2017

"...all policies and procedures were completely followed..."

The letter, a copy of which was shown to the Echo, read: “Dear parents/carers, there was an incident at lunchtime today in which the police were called to the site.
“This was an innocent event and at no point were any children at risk.
“The safety of the school site was not compromised at any moment, and all policies and procedures were completely followed.
“Please help us to help your child by reassuring them that there was no risk at anytime.”
No risk of....errrr, what, exactly?
A police spokesman confirmed they had been called to the school.
They added: “Police received report of a man acting suspiciously in Point Road, Canvey, at about 12.30pm on Thursday, October 12.
“Officers attended the scene and spoke to the man.
“Following further investigation, police established that no offence had been committed.”
How was he 'acting suspiciously'? Well, maybe we'll never know.
One mum, who asked not to be identified, said: “The parents are furious at the way the school handled it. There was queues of people trying to get information on the ‘incident’ and the teachers were just categorically refusing to give any information out. When I asked if it was a legal reason, they said yes. But clearly if the police have told the Echo what happened, there’s no reason they couldn’t have told us.
“When you are given just enough information to make you worry, your mind runs away.
“It was just handled appallingly. God knows how you’re meant to reassure a child of their safety if you don’t know what about!”
Quite! But so long as 'all policies and procedures were completely followed', that's the main thing. Right?

They Do Things Differently In The Country...

A quiet street in a market town erupted into violence as two gangs armed with garden equipment and a chainsaw clashed.
I presume they mean a petrol driven chainsaw? Or they had a very long lead!
The fight erupted shortly before 3.30pm on Friday on the small residential street of Fleeters Hill in Hingham.
It is understood the incident was the result of a long-running neighbourhood dispute, which had boiled over.
One woman, who did not wish to be named, said she was watching TV in bed when she heard commotion outside.
“I saw all the men running in different directions, and it was just fists to begin with,” she said. “But then all of a sudden a chainsaw came out, then loads of other garden tools.
“One boy was threatening to wrap a spade around an older bloke’s head.
“The chainsaw was running and a young lad got cut by it across his chest. He was bleeding quite a bit.”
“It was initially between two males, but they had gangs on each side.
“This all boils down to someone reporting the others to the council for having fires, and them accusing someone as being the ones who reported them.”
It's all so very different from London.

H/T: jack ketch in comments

Tuesday 24 October 2017

"Dictionary For Mr Denison, Please!"

Mr Denison said: “This case is about a minor argument between two families’ children fighting. It suddenly and inexplicably erupted into violence on Easter Sunday.”
Yes, it's totally inexplicable. I mean, who'd have thought travellers would be prone to this sort of violence?
Esther says that Sherri-Ann came straight to her and hit her on the head with a blue double-edged knife. She grabbed the knife to protect herself and she was hit again in her right shoulder and her hand.”
The prosecution said that Esther was dragged into the hallway and then the kitchen where Draper appeared with another long knife and took Esther back outside while “chopping her and causing deep cuts as she tried to protect herself.
Mr Denison said: “Hugh had seen what was happening and had run back to get John Cooper. John was the first to get there and saw Esther lying on the ground covered in blood.
“He saw Draper holding something long which at the time he thought was a piece of wood in his hand. In fact, it was a shotgun.
“Hugh Doherty appeared and Levi Draper raised the gun and shot him in the chest.”
Usually, they save it for the wake! Talk about getting ahead of yourselves....

Oh, Is It That Time Of Year Again?

Poppy Day parades to honour Britain’s war dead are facing the axe because police chiefs across the country are refusing to send officers to block off roads.
Yes, it's the time of year when the police top brass get to use the nation's war dead as a stick to beat the government with...
Jock Bryson, 82, who runs the town’s Royal British Legion poppy appeal, said: ‘I feel disgusted that people went to war and gave their lives and now, all of a sudden, the police are saying they are not going to help us this year.’
You notice, Jock, they never say they won't help the Notting Hill Carnival? I do...
Frank Mullen, 80, who served in the Royal Signals, said: ‘It is ridiculous. It is going to be cancelled because the police can’t be there and we can’t by law stop traffic.
'We are one of the richest countries and they can’t even afford three or four police officers for an hour’s work.’
They can afford to make fools of themselves on social media all the day long, though....

Monday 23 October 2017

Hard Cases Making Bad Law?

The Solicitor General said: 'Having considered the application, I have given consent to the family of Carole Myers to apply to the High Court for a new inquest into her death.
'I am satisfied that it is in the interests of justice for the application for a new inquest to be heard by the High Court.'
Really? Wouldn't you have to first change the law?
Mr Felstead said that by not ruling that these memories were false the court left 'a lingering doubt, a lingering suspicion that these things are true, and our position is that they are categorically not'.
'There was a 15-month investigation and it concluded that she was not abused, she was not sexually assaulted. It was a myth,' he said.
'Carol went to the doctor with a persistent headache.
'There was nothing wrong with Carol before she had therapy.
'All of her problems came from her having therapy.'
You're asking the coroner to do something I don't think they are able to do. They've certainly done as much as they possibly can within the limits of their remit:
During the previous inquest in 2015, Mr Felstead told Westminster Coroner's Court, which was sitting at the Royal Courts of Justice, that her family 'fiercely' contest the allegations.
Addressing the court, Mr Felstead said: 'I just want to ask that the court acknowledges that Carol developed false memories.
'She had treatment and memories that were false and demonstrably not true.'
Coroner Fiona Wilcox said she could not rule that Ms Myers suffered from false memories, but acknowledged that the 'extreme allegations that were made of satanic sexual abuse and murder were investigated and found to be absolutely unsubstantiated'.
She added: 'I wish to be clear that the family absolutely protest claims that Carol was abused sexually, and that the allegations of satanic sexual abuse and murder that she made in life were investigated by police and found to be unsubstantiated.'
I have nothing but sympathy with the family, but what they are asking for is not possible, and they have been told that.

Compare and contrast this with the easy allegations that are made over historical sex abuse. It's a bugger's muddle, and no mistake.

"I See No Ships Gang Of 30 Rowdy Youths..."

Chief Inspector Chris Veale said officers were dispatched to intercept the group but searched and could not find them.
He said a possible link between the report and the window being smashed was being explored although there was no current evidence to connect the two.
He added: “We do not currently have evidence of a general problem of antisocial behaviour in this area of Kemp town. However, we are always keen to hear from residents and would encourage anyone experiencing anti-social behaviour to report it.”

There really are no words, are there?

Another Giant Falls....

Author Julian May has died, her agent Russell Galen announced. Ms. May was 86 years old.
Very sad news. One of my favourite series, and one I'd definitely want on a desert island. I must have re-read them 4 or 5 times, and discovered something new each time.
At the time of her death she was working on a television adaption of her popular Saga of Pliocene Exile series.
There is hope!

Saturday 21 October 2017

The Right Result...

Four Met Police officers have been cleared of gross misconduct following the death of 18-year-old Henry Hicks who died after he failed to stop his moped in Islington, north London in December 2014.
Hmmm, well, technically, he didn't 'fail to stop his moped', it was stopped for him, by the parked car he careered headlong into!
The teenager, who had been described as a talented footballer was carrying several bags of cannabis at the time of his death.
Given the family, it's hardly surprising he was suspected of being lowlife, drug-dealing scum.
The suspected low level drug dealer had been stopped and searched 89 times between the age of 14 and 17, though had never been charged with any criminal offence.
Perhaps if he had been, he'd have learnt a lesson?
A disciplinary panel said the officers, who were given anonymity during the inquest into the teenager's death - were investigated over claims they had breached professional behaviour standards.
However, this afternoon, the panel, led by an independent chair, announced that all four officers had been cleared. The panel said that none of the officers had breached professional standards or had been engaged in pursuing the teenager.
No doubt there's already a few CiF 'journalists' fishing in the veg drawer for an onion, ready to pen a polemic about how awful it is....

Just Incompetent, Or Actively Sabotaging The Case...?

A woman beaten up in a savage late-night assault says she is doing the police's job for them by issuing crystal-clear pictures of her alleged attacker.
Micha Birgitta, 31, had her nose smashed in the brutal attack while the thug knocked out her male friend in London's East End.
Police hunting the crazed brute - thought to be high on drugs or drunk - put out blurred and grainy CCTV images of him that 'could have been anybody'.
But now Ms Birgitta has sent dramatic stills from footage shot on her friend's mobile straight to her local paper the Hackney Gazette in an attempt to catch him.
Clearly, she's realised relying on the police is an utter waste of time.

And yes, she DID make the photo available to them:
Ms Birgitta said she's 'scared of her own shadow' knowing her attacker is still at large and justice has not been done.
And she can't believe that a high-quality video taken on her friend's phone was never released by officers targeting the attacker.
'The CCTV is terrible quality,' insisted Ms Birgitta, who's still struggling to see properly.
So are the cops, love. They just can't see past the need to keep a tight lid on the amount of diverse, enriched crime that goes on in London. It's not like they aren't simply following precedent, either.

But now that she's gone to the papers, they have to respond:
Scotland Yard said they were only made aware of the new photographs yesterday. A spokesman said: “We will always use the best images we have to appeal for those wanted for questioning by police.
“In our initial appeal on this case, we used the only image we had available.
“On Wednesday we were made aware of better and clearer images which we are working to release asap once we have spoken with the victims in this case.”
Someone's lying. Once, I would have naturally assumed it was the complainant.

But that was long ago...

Friday 20 October 2017

"Well this is a song about a travellin' man who knows just what he wants."

A traveller has complained he has been stuck on a patch of land for a week after it was blocked off by the council.
Richard Brannan set up home at the 39 Acres site off Ditchling Road, Brighton, four weeks ago, and says he has been living peacefully on his own.
However, last Friday, he noticed he was unable to leave because the area was blocked off at the entrance and exit.
Really? Without warning?
He said: “The council warned me on the Wednesday they would be blocking the area off but I was waiting for the car to be looked at.
“Then on Friday it was blocked.”
Hmmmm, I have just the thing....

He said the predicament was also costing him money as he cannot get to work.
Ahahahahahaha! Stop! You're killing me!
But he claims this is not the only thing making it hard for him a financially. He said: “I usually shop at Lidl, which is really cheap.
“But I am having to shop at Asda now.
“I get some things at Lidl for 30p, for example, but in Asda it is £1.20.”
*wipes away tears of mirth*

Well, there's a good advertising slogan for Asda: "We're just expensive enough to keep out the riff-raff!"
A council spokesman said: “We have not purposely blocked Mr Brannan, who is actually trespassing, on to the land at 39 Acres.
“He fully knew we were blocking this entrance to the site to stop other trespassers and he had told the council he did not need to move his van until we served him with a court order, which will take place as soon as possible.
“Mr Brannan has also told us he can come and go easily from the site as he has both a push bike and a car that he parks outside the land.
“Mr Brannan is well known to the council and has our phone number so if he now wants to leave the site we will arrange for the entrance to be unblocked. We will however block the site again to stop other trespassers.”
You can almost imagine the weary tone of voice they used, can't you?

The UK Police Farce: Twitter Is Their Krypotonite! Part 2798435

Having lots of cops paint their nails (yes, really!) for 'Anti Slavery Day' wasn't Avon & Somerset's best idea:

Who could have predicted this?


You won't find that Tweet at their timeline, as they have since deleted it, presumably when the legal department strolled in, coffee in hand, and read it with that sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach. But the Internet is forever....

Just remember this when they whinge about resourcing.

Thursday 19 October 2017

PussyPass Declined...

At Blackfriars crown court yesterday, the New Look shop assistant’s tearful plea for a suspended sentence was rejected by Judge Michael Simon.
“There is far too much in the way of drugs and other illicit items in prisons these days and the courts can’t condone on any basis, regardless of the mitigation there might be, attempts to contravene the rules,” he said.
“There were plenty of points along the line where you should have backed out, but having continued you must face the consequences.”
Excellent news! Well done, Judge Simon!
Radford, a trained hairdresser from north Woolwich, admitted two charges of conveying a prohibited article into prison. She waved to her mother in the public gallery as she was led sobbing from the dock.
More please, faster!

Why Is He Described As 'A Builder'...?

Surely 'serial menace' is his real job?
Adam McDermott was driving his girlfriend’s car when he sped around the corner of Montague Place in Brighton on the wrong side of the road and knocked Andrew Payne into the air.
He raced off in his fiancee’s Fiat 500 before the 53-year-old had even fallen back onto the concrete, leaving him with life threatening injuries.
The CCTV is horrific.
McDermott, 32, yesterday confessed to causing serious injury by dangerous driving as well as a string of other charges when he arrived to stand trial at Lewes Crown Court.
He also pleaded guilty to perverting the course of justice with Clark Walker.
The pair bought lighter fluid and set fire to the car in a bid to destroy evidence.
It was found partially burnt out just two streets away from the house in Vernon Terrace which McDermott shared with his mother and fiancee Robyn Burns, with whom he has a six-month-old child.
Great! It's bred already.
Described by his defence barrister Pierce Power as having a long and “chequered” criminal past, McDermott said “cheers” as he was taken down to the cells.
He is already in custody, serving a sentence for shoplifting and threatening somebody with a knife at the Lakeside shopping centre in London.
Walker, 31, of Ditchling Rise, Brighton, is also behind bars
After the arson he was recalled on an indefinite sentence for his part in a kidnapping.
They say you can tell a man by the company he keeps. They're right.

Wednesday 18 October 2017

The 'Guardian's' Efforts To Find The Least Sympathetic Cause Might Have Run Its Course....

....because I can't see them topping this one:
In a corner of a teeming refugee camp, 40 miles north of Raqqa, a small group of women and children are kept alone. They mill together at the back of a blue building; blond and brown haired children darting in between blankets that their mothers have hung as doors across small, dank rooms. Others in the Ain Issa camp call them “the Daeshis”, meaning Islamic State families. No one wants to know them.
 Hardly surprising!
International aid agencies and governments are scrambling to assess the numbers of widows and orphans now thought to be at extreme risk, both within their societies and at the hands of predatory local officials.
“No one will deal with them, or even touch them,” said Ahmed al-Raqqawi, a 25-year-old anti-Isis fighter in the centre of Raqqa.
When they were here, they used to think they were kings. Even the women.”
Well, most likely, they thought they were queens...!
“The women who chose to leave the UK and go there need to be responsible for what they did. They will not be coming home,” said a British official.
The children, though, deserve compassion.”
Do they? Why? Why take the risk? Even the French are well aware of the dangers they may pose:
On Friday, France appeared to flag an advance in its position, with the defence minister, Florence Parly, announcing on French radio that the children of its dead nationals may be taken in, but not their mothers.
“Children who are in local custody can, depending on their parents’ preference, either stay with them while their parents get tried locally, or be repatriated to France, where they will be cared for by social services. They are usually very young, but they can have been radicalised and need to be watched. The challenge for us is to turn them into citizens again,” said Parly.
Is it a challenge worth taking? I don't think so.

Mayoral Priorities...

Offered without comment.

Tuesday 17 October 2017

I Think The Problem Is Closer To Home...

...on his first day she was called into school over claims he attacked a dinner lady.
Ms Yourelis claims this was because he was alone and 'petrified' of the other children in the playground.
She said: 'Eli began hitting this person and as a result I was called into the school.'
Well, yes. What else would you expect?
'Eli's condition is not diagnosed yet but he has trouble understanding social situations and will often get confused and lash out.
Ms Yourelis, from Bromborough, Merseyside, had a meeting with staff and claims she was told that expelling him was an option.'
I'm wondering why someone whose initial reaction is physical violence was ever admitted to a normal school!
She said: 'I told them he needed support not exclusion and a behavioural plan was put together.
'He has lashed out a few times at school since he started but they haven't given him the support he needs.'
They aren't equipped to do so. If he's that uncontrollable, he needs to be in a special school, for his sake and everyone else's.
'They tried to show me videos of Eli striking out at teachers but I never gave them permission to film my son.'
That's a strange reaction, isn't it? To immediately think that your uncontrollable little hellion is the real victim?
Ms Yourelis received a letter on September 28 stating that Eli will be permanently excluded from the school. The letter said that Eli was excluded due to a serious breach of school behaviour policy. This included seriously harming and attacking five members of staff - thumping, kicking, biting, damaging school property and using offensive and threatening language.
She added: 'I'm going to tribunal with this case because I feel like the school have failed my son.'
They had him for one day. You had him for four years. What are the odds?

'Lenient Leigh' Strikes Again...

Sam Kent, 26, of Dovervelt Road, Canvey, and drinking buddy Jak Bruce, 27, smashed up 11 cars outside the Smuggler’s Den in Pooles Lane, Hullbridge.
Basildon Crown Court heard police found the pair in an “agitated state” after their rampage and had to forcibly restrain them on the floor.
Kent was banned from driving for two years after the court heard he also drove into a van and then gave chase as the terrified driver tried to flee.
Both had been on an all-day bender on May 25.
How on earth do you do £12,000 worth of damage and not see a day behind bars for it?
Judge Samantha Leigh (Ed: *groans*) handed both men a three-year community order, with 200 hours of unpaid work and a thinking skills course. Both must pay some compensation to the drivers who did not claim on insurance.
She said: “How on earth you have both got yourself in to this situation is really quite incomprehensible. It just doesn’t make sense. Mindless violence and vandalism are the only words that spring to mind.”
Oh, I dunno, Samantha, a few others actually spring to mind...

Monday 16 October 2017

I Don't Think Hurricane Ophelia's Going To Be So Bad After All...

...unless you're a cat lover, I suppose. Or Muslim!

"My old man's a dustman, 'e wears a dustman's 'at...."

....'e wears gorblimey trousers, and is abused by a Muslim chap."
The man filming says: 'Because there's a white woman here, he's taking everything.
'It is a matter of colour of skin here.'
 Of course it is... *rolls eyes*
The man filming ends the video by pointing the camera at the binman and saying: 'This face is going on YouTube today. That is the most racist little b*****d face.'
No, his isn't. But your's just might be...

H/T: DanSaffend via Twitter

Saturday 14 October 2017

Diversity In The Met Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving...

A former senior Metropolitan police officer and relative of Rashan Charles, whose death sparked protests in east London, has said that the family is being treated with “disdain” by the force he served for 30 years.
As a relative, shouldn't he be more concerned with the fact he has criminals in his family?
Rod Charles, a retired sergeant and the 20-year-old’s great-uncle, said Scotland Yard’s refusal to explain the circumstances of the death shortly after contact with police meant the family’s rights “are being violated”.
He refused to stop for police, tried to swallow the substance he was carrying so police wouldn't seize it, and choked on it. What more explanation do you need?
Referring to police “use of force” principles, Rod Charles wrote that when the known circumstances are set against official guidance, it appears that “the force used [against Rashan] was unreasonable, disproportionate, unnecessary and excessive”.
He added that the Met’s refusal to explain the purpose of the arrest also seems to contravene the law.
A former public support unit commander, Charles said the family was concerned that Rashan did not receive first aid. “We will continue tirelessly to secure all our legal entitlements,” the statement added.
They always know their entitlements, but are somewhat hazy on their responsibilities....

Not So Much Fun When You're On The Receiving End, Eh?

Michael Segalov, a former University of Sussex student, was all set for the start of the conference in Brighton on Sunday, only to be informed his accreditation had not been accepted - because he did not pass the security check to enter the site.
However, the force has refused to say why the journalist has been banned.
Gosh, it's like something out of Kafka, isn't it? Good thing that's not something the Labour Party would normally condone, eh?
Mr Segalov, who is the news editor for Huck magazine, based in London, said the conference was one of the biggest events in the calendar for his publication, and said it is a huge loss not being able to attend. He does not have a criminal record and has never been arrested.
Mr Segalov, who was an officer for university’s Students’ Union during his studies, said it has prevented him from doing his job.
“Not being able to access the conference despite having no criminal record, never having been arrested or convicted of an offence while being a member of both the National Union of Journalists and the Labour Party, has meant I’m unable to fulfil my job as a journalist,” he said.
“Accessing political events is integral to the work I do, and right now, despite being given no justification or reasoning, the police are restricting me from doing this.”
Hmmm, I know it's around here somewhere....

Aha! There it is!
A spokesman for the force said: “All applications to attend the conference are subject to an accreditation process. We will not disclose details about individual applications and the reasons for their refusal for operational reasons.”
Heh! Enjoy, Mr Segalov! It's the society you helped build, after all.

Friday 13 October 2017

It's A Bit Late Now...

Detective Chief Inspector Andrew Packer, who is leading the murder investigation, urged partygoers to contact Scotland Yard.
He said: “Our enquiries so far have established there was a large group of young people from east and south London who attended this party and I need to trace as many people as possible to piece together the events that led to this murder.
“The stabbing occurred in the street and would have been clearly visible to passers-by and residents who may have been disturbed by the noise of the fight.
“This was a brutal attack that has taken a man’s life and I am urging anyone with information to come forward and speak to police.”
Yes, it's terrible when the public won't co-operate and refuse to tell the police anyth...

Oh! Hang on!
Describing the party, a neighbour, 34, said: “It was crazy. We were telling police that it was getting worse but they said they couldn’t do anything as it was a private event.
“They were playing grime music so loud and the crowd was getting more boisterous. They were swarming like bees. They all found out about it on social media.
“There were hundreds of kids waiting outside like a West End nightclub. It should’ve been shut down earlier.
There were scuffles everywhere. They were so many people rowing they were scattering in all directions.”
Ah, if only the police had turned up then, there might not have been a murder, and they could have spent their time doing what they prefer, chasing people for Facebook comments instead...

The NHS, Wonder Of The World...

Sussex Police said they were investigating the death of an 85 year old woman at the Royal Sussex County Hospital last month.
The Argus understands the investigation is looking into whether the patient was given a cup of orange liquid – which it was mistakenly believed was juice – but may have turned out to be a cleaning product.
I really don't know what's more worrying, that the cleaners put cleaning fluid in cups, or that the quality of NHS food is so poor, orange juice smells like cleaning fluid....

Thursday 12 October 2017

The Only Ones 'Targeted'....

...are the ones who deserve no help:
Pedestrians in High Street North have been parting with £20 at a time in a gambling ruse known as the shell game.
Played since Ancient Greek times, the swindle involves a small ball being shifted between one of three identical containers with players having to guess where it ends up.
Small groups have been operating up and down the high street for several months, often outside WH Smith and across the road from KFC.
Well, yes, that's where you'd expect the terminally dim to cluster, wouldn't you?
There are fears that the criminals involved are using fake players who ‘win’ to hoodwink unsuspecting people.
No, just greedy people. And thick people!
Responding, a council spokeswoman said: “The problem of illegal street gambling in the borough is a matter for the local police, however council officers are aware of the issue and have been lending support, with our CCTV team monitoring, and passing on information to the police.
“Tackling this problem requires significant police resources, as these criminal gangs are extremely well organised.”
And is this really where we want to target police resources? I really don't think so.

The Usual Demographic...

Mrs Annels said she did not understand why they were allowed to move back into the house with so much left to do.
She said: “I think it’s absolutely disgusting that they left it like that.
“Surely it is against health and safety to let us move back into the house when it is like that.
“Freddie has behaviour issues and could have put his finger in one of the sockets.”
Mrs Annels says the situation has caused distress for her and husband Michael, who suffers from depression and heart problems, along with high blood pressure.

Child with 'behaviour issues' and husband on the sick. Complaining that 'the state' hasn't done what it should. In the local paper.

How'd the 'accidental' fire start, anyway?
The fire was started when someone dropped a lit cigarette which ignited the bamboo in the Annels’ garden.
*skeptical face*

Wednesday 11 October 2017

Hark, Hark, The Dogs Do Bark...!

Charley Nathan and Karen James, owners of AA Dog Rescue, of Burnham Road, Latchingdon, must pay more than £20,000 in costs after admitting the two charges at Chelmsford Crown Court on Tuesday.
The breaches occurred during May 2016. Ms Nathan and Ms James have been ordered to cease using the site as a dog rescue centre with immediate effect.
A spokesman for Maldon District Council said: “At Chelmsford Magistrates Court yesterday the defendants, Ms. Karen James and Ms. Charlene Nathan, each entered guilty pleas to one charge of breach of Noise Abatement Notice and one charge of breach of Enforcement Notice.
"Both defendants were sentenced to a two year conditional discharge (on each charge to run concurrently) and each ordered to pay costs of £10,000 plus a £10 surcharge.
“The defendants must now immediately cease the unauthorised use of the site and comply with both the Planning Enforcement Notice and Noise Abatement Notice. The council will be closely monitoring the situation to ensure that the defendants comply with the court order.
“The council, in order to fulfil its duties under both the planning and environmental health regimes, took enforcement action in the Magistrate’s Court in relation to unauthorised use of the site at Oldfield Lodge, Latchingdon, and statutory nuisance being caused through such use.”
Naturally, there's a huge hue and cry on social media, sobbing celebs pleading with everyone to help the poor wittle doggies (stuff the neighbours), and blaming the awful council for endangering them.
When sentencing, the district judge told the defendants: “You continued taking on dogs without the facility to do so and have been causing nuisance to your neighbours.
“You have got to stop and get to grips. Until you get planning permission you have to stop running a dog rescue.
“You need to close down the business so it doesn’t cause a nuisance or breach the Enforcement Notice. Otherwise the Local Authority will bring you back to court.”
Wait, a business? I thought this was run by selfless animal lovers, beggaring themselves to ensure poor Fido has a fome?

The reference to a dog they passed on having killed a child is this infamous case.

Hmmm, sounds like a lucrative business indeed!

The comments are pretty illuminating about this 'rescue organisation', aren't they? 

*Rummages* Where's My Heart Of Stone?

An exercise game encouraging participants to tap electronic fobs on boxes around Dagenham has been postponed...
Oh..? Due to weather? Lack of interest? Technical difficulties?
...after all the boxes were stolen.
Seun Oshinaike, from DigiLab, explained that the team had originally put the boxes up on Sunday, and that damage had been caused within hours.
“We put about six of them in the park and when we went back to make an adjustment we found it had been knocked off,” he said.
“I’m not quite sure what reason someone would have to steal them,” Seun said.
It's the 'Nam, fella, they don't need a reason, other than 'it was there'.
“It could be someone who stole them to try and sell the parts, or because they had a grievance.”
A grievance against a fitness company..?
But the theft isn’t going to stop the game from going ahead - it will be relaunched, complete with new boxes, on October 9, and run for six weeks.
“We’re not going to let this stop us,” Seun said. “The new boxes will have extra security.”
Unless they are electrified, I don't think that's going to work. Still, you got some publicity out of it. And, no doubt, a nice little earner from the council.

Tuesday 10 October 2017

Well, Look At It Like Chlorine For The Gene Pool, Love...

The women’s hoodie, which describes anorexia as "like bulimia, except with self control", has been heavily criticised and Amazon urged to remove it from their website.
Anorexia sufferer Beth Grant, speaking on the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire show, said the hoodie “could be extremely damaging to anyone suffering with either bulimia or anorexia."
She said: "I think it could damage their mental health even further and cause them to potentially harm their life."
*shrugs* I don't seel that would be much of a loss, frankly.

But maybe she's got a point?
The hoodie, which is from a third party seller, is not available to buy from the company's UK website and cannot be shipped to the UK.
Hmmm.... Doesn't that make a bit of a difference, then?

Reader, of course it doesn't.
However Ms Grant said this would make little difference to those with anorexia or bulimia.
She added: "You can still see it on the internet. It can still harm them, even if they're not wearing it.
"I think they should issue a statement saying it is 'so sorry it's on our website'."
I think you should sod off and eat a sandwich, love. Your 5 minutes of fame are up.
Critics expressed their outrage on the Amazon sellers page.
One person commented: “So disgusting. There is a special place in hell for people like you who profit off of young girls dying of eating disorders.”
Is it next to the one for people who use 'off of' to mean 'off'...?

Has Someone Boobed Here..?

Labour Party chiefs in Southend have blocked an activist from standing in local elections – because of his career as a...
Abortionist? Communist dictator? IRA hitman?

Well, no, obviously. They've no problem at all with those!
...Page 3 photographer.
Mike Fieldhouse, from Westcliff, stood in last year’s Southend Council elections in the Prittlewell ward, losing out to Conservative candidate David Garston by just 78 votes.
But this time around Mr Fieldhouse, a member of hard left faction Momentum, has been told his profession as a glamour photographer could be used as a “political weapon” by opponents.
Oh, the irony!
A selection panel labelled his job an “embarrassment” to the party and criticised the dad-of-two for considering it a “trivial matter”.
How's it feel to be on the wrong side of the Star Chamber for a change, chum? And you spent so long polishing your SJW credentials, too!
But Mr Fieldhouse told the Echo he has worked for national newspapers, including the Daily Star, for more than 25 years and his work is “no secret”. He said: “It was disappointing and surprising. Just last month the party put out a press release saying I was a ‘valuable member of the local party’.
“So it’s come as an absolute shock that in just over a month I’ve become someone who they don’t think is suitable to stand.”
Mr Fieldhouse volunteers at Southend’s Night Shelter Project and is a qualified counsellor who works with a charity providing support to victims of rape and child sex abuse.
I can't wait for the appeal! *gets popcorn*

Monday 9 October 2017

Customer Service In A Diverse Society....

GoAhead is the bus company that operates this route on TfL's behalf.
The spokesman added: "We're in the business of safely transporting all our passengers and we seek to do so in a professional manner, with due regard to the law and TfL's rules."
Then might I suggest you only hire staff who, when asked to perform their statutory duties, don't have a meltdown at the customer?

Oh, and if you could hire people who can pronounce 'ask' correctly, it might help....
The driver grew frustrated when Mr Stapleton got out his camera and repeatedly asked: "Why are you filming me?".
She then went to ask passengers occupying the disabled space to make room.
When she returned to the drivers' cab, she said: “You’re ignorant and selfish. No one put you in there, but we must show you pity because [of] the law.
“You have no manners. Put it [the footage] on News at Ten because I watch that channel.
What a disgusting excuse for a human being this woman is. And how dim must you be to stand there while someone's filming you and further compound your error?
TfL said in statement that it was appalled by the footage, and apologised to Mr Stapleton.
Claire Mann, TfL’s Director of Bus Operations, said: “We are appalled by this and apologise to our customer. An urgent investigation is underway.
“We expect the highest standards from bus operators and their drivers and something has clearly gone wrong here."
I hope by now this woman is an ex-driver.

And maybe another company could be found who'd do more than make a mealy-mouthed excuse when their employees are caught abusing their fare-paying customers?

Well, At Least This Time, They're Asking!

Usually, they just go ahead and do it without telling anyone:
Parents are outraged after a letter was sent out asking if they would like a New Addington school to serve only halal certified meat.
Oh dear! Let fly a thousand angry Facebook shares!
Wolsey Academy headteacher Claire Majumdar said the school was happy to talk to parents about concerns and noted the letter did not mean a change was imminent.
"This all began after a parent wrote me a letter asking if we offered halal meat in the kitchen because that was their preference," she said.
"I then talked to our chef about it and he said that meat would either have to be all halal or no halal. So I sent out the letter hoping to hear what parents had to say.
"It was about hearing parents' voices and going with the majority."
Well, you've heard them now! Did you really expect a different response?
Ms Majumdar said she was surprised by the quick backlash.
Good to see that 'breathtaking naivety' is no bar to a teaching career...

Sunday 8 October 2017

Saturday 7 October 2017

A Fool And His Money...

Philip Moore said his world fell apart when a man who called himself David rang from Natwest's listed customer services number at around 8.30pm on September 7.
Oh oh!
A series of phone calls followed over the next three days where the man, who claimed to be based in Bristol, told the father-of-three fraudsters were trying to hack his business accounts and make thousands of pounds of withdrawals.
Gosh, really? I hope they didn't try to get you to do something totally implaus...

He urged him to move all his money from his business and personal accounts to a holding account set up in his name with Barclays.
Because banks do that, don't they? Suggest a rival bank?
It was only when the 41-year-old rang back later to ask a question that he discovered no such employee existed.
You'd need a heart of stone, wouldn't you?
Mr Moore said: "He knew so much about me and my account, his call came from a recognised number. I was so panicked by what he was telling me I just acted.
"This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I have no idea how I am going to survive financially. I'm living off the small amounts of money I make with my part-time taxi service at the moment.
"The money was to help me launch by new business venture - a pillow to reduce snoring - in November so now I don't know what to do. I think I'm going to have to re-mortgage my house.
"I've had a breakdown about it and am now on medication.
"I wished there was a protocol in place which meant the cashier should question such a big transaction."
Oh, gosh, yes! We'd all love to have yet more hoops to jump through to get our money because some people have a room temp IQ!
"I'm worried the man had been an employee as he knew so much."
He just knew more than you. Not hard, you'd think. But then....
"I've been a victim of fraud before and the bank recovered the money..."
Sussex Police do not investigate such cases of fraud unless they class the victim as vulnerable. Instead, they refer them to Action Fraud, which happened in this incident.
I'm not sure he shouldn't be classed as 'vulnerable'. He should certainly be classed as something!

The Next Social Media Bullying Campaign Is About To Leave The Station...

All aboard!
Burger King has been criticised by social media users for...
Too much salt? Too much fat? Litter?
...no longer serving free tap water in their North Street branch.
Hmmmm. Why would they do that?
A Burger King manager told The Argus: “We had a lot of problems with free tap water, especially later at night.
“When we gave tap water out people were throwing it around. Some of the customers fell on the floor because it was slippery.”
Ah. The late night scene. Well, can't force them to serve it, can you?
Under current law, only establishments licensed to serve alcohol are legally required to provide free drinking water.
See! But that doesn't stop the usual suspects.
Many Burger King customers expressed their disagreement with the decision on Facebook.
Chloë Kristel Amy-Hannah Hall wrote: “It's not a legal requirement but it's definitely the right, human thing to do.”
If they want to drink it, yes. If they want to throw it around the shop because they are drunk or stupid, no.
“Water should never be denied to anyone,” wrote Rooti Burgs.
This isn't the Sahara, love. They'll be fine.
Smashburger, also on North Street, provide free tap water for all customers, and are welcoming the introduction of the new app.
Assistant manager Michelle Green said: “We have Deliveroo drivers come in all the time and on a hot day we give them a drink.
It’s a basic human right.
Blimey, that list grows and grows....
Harry Woodhams, general manager of Trading Post Coffee Roasters on Ship Street, said: “We will definitely do it.
Tap water costs us nothing so there is no reason not to.”
Yes there is. Burger King have pointed that out.

Friday 6 October 2017

Action, Meet Consequences...

“About three weeks into it all I went up to the headteacher and said, ‘sir, you know what’s going to happen and the time has come, we’re going to have to leave on March 4. Unfortunately because everything’s up in the air the kids are going to be gone about three weeks’.
“He said, ‘wow, you can’t get three weeks off, I won’t confirm it’.
“I said there’s nothing you can do about it, I have got to take the kids. We have never been apart.
“We went, we came back and I received a notice from the council that we were fined.
Well, you can't say you weren't warned...
Craig, who is disabled because of a spinal injury, said it was important he travelled with his family because his wife, Nicola, 33, is his carer.
Bet he 'can't work'. But can go lay down the law to the head & travel...
He added: “The headteacher said the kids should have just gone to Jamaica for one week and your wife should have come back with the kids and left me there.
“I said how can I come back home? I’m vulnerable.”
“I paid the fine but I just think it’s not fair because it’s not humane, it can’t be human to think like that, to think that somebody’s family does not matter.”
Like your kids' education & the rules everyone else has to follow don't matter, you mean?

A Small Victory...

Proposals to amend Brighton and Hove City Council’s animal welfare charter to ban the use of domestic animals in circuses were voted down by the tourism development and culture committee on Thursday, in large part due to legal precedent.
Or as we laymen put it 'a fear of getting sued'.
The vote has caused bad blood, with one Green councillor accusing committee chairman councillor Alan Robbins, Labour, of a u-turn.
Cllr Robbins hit back by saying the Greens were indulging in “political point-scoring”.
Good job the Labour politicians would never do that, eh?
Zippos presented the meeting with its own 2,000-strong petition of support for the circus, which uses horses and budgerigars in its acts.
Its director Martin Burton said: “The petition is based on moral, not welfare, grounds and its supporters aggressively seek to impose their extreme political agenda on everyone.”
And it's long past time someone stood up to them.

Thursday 5 October 2017

Just As 'No Plan Survives Contact With The Enemy'...

...so 'No sob story in a local newspaper survives closer examination':
A homeless single mother and her ten-year-old son are having to share a bed in a flat that has had no hot water for 12 days.
OK, everyone ready? Let's go!
Lisa Sullivan, was placed in the bedsit in a homeless shelter in South Coast Road, Peacehaven, with autistic son Thomas Ellis six weeks ago after her relationship with her partner broke down and she had nowhere to live.
'Autistic' again? Why are they always autistic in these stories?
She was told by Brighton and Hove City Council they would only have to stay there for four weeks – but has now been informed it could take up to a year to find somewhere else.
Seems fairly normal so far.
Ms Sullivan, 33, who a few years ago appeared on TV dating show Take Me Out...
Oh oh! More red flags in this one than a F1 season!
...said: “It is inhumane to be left living like this with my young boy.”
As the commenters point out, you're fed, warm, dry, have a roof over your head. That's not really 'inhumane', is it? And why no hot water?
“It has been 12 days we have gone without hot water and we have complained both to the council and the landlord but both just say it is not their problem and there is nothing they can do.”
Really? They are legally responsible for it. I think we aren't getting the whole truth here...
“I am not homeless through my own fault so I don’t understand why we haven’t had any support.”
What a pity the 'Argus' didn't let the father have a say in....


Well well well!

That Moment When....

Pop star Florence Welch has scolded the Conservatives for using her music after her version of You Got The Love was played at the party's conference in Manchester.
The lead singer of Florence And The Machine said she did not approve the use of the song and would not have permitted it if asked.
...you're so determined to virtuesignal and get your name in the papers, you forget it wasn't even 'your music' to begin with!
The song is a cover of a 1986 single by Candi Stanton (sic).

Maybe there's a message here: the original is always, without exception, a better choice.