You Thought The Wheels Of Justice Ground Slow?

Well, try the wheels of internal investigation:

Ruby Begum, 27, was hailed an inspirational role model after footage showing her bravely confronting anti-lockdown protesters while wearing a hijab went viral two years ago.

But in the months before joining the Metropolitan Police in 2016, she used Twitter to insult Jews and mock the 9/11 attacks.

And the 'Mail' pointed this out a year ago. A complete failure of any sort of due diligence, so the Met acted swiftly. And .... wait. 

After being alerted by this newspaper, the Met referred the matter to the Independent Office for Police Conduct and Miss Begum was placed on ‘restricted duties’.

Following an investigation, the Met said yesterday that she had ‘a case to answer for gross misconduct’. She now faces a hearing ‘on a date to be determined’.

‘On 9 August 2022, she was suspended from duty.’

*blinks* 

Which Shop Would Get Your Business..?

The Guardian spoke to shop owners about their thoughts on the announcement.

Oh, this'll be good. First up, sensible pension-age shopkeeper with useful store:

“The word ‘mandatory’ is meaningless,” says 70-year-old Redmond Hanlon, who has owned his village convenience store in Devon for 35 years. “I’m not going to refuse entry to mask-free customers. I’ve got 80-year-old guys coming in first thing in the morning for newspapers. I’m not going to say, no, you can’t have your paper. These are guys I’ve known for years.”

Hanlon says most customers do not wear face coverings, but he has been handing out free masks to customers who want them. Last week, he installed a pedal-controlled hand-sanitiser dispenser at the shop entrance and a screen over the counter.

“I think government instruction might make a difference [to how many people wear face coverings]. I’m going to put up a sign thanking customers for wearing masks tomorrow, but I won’t do more,” Hanlon says. “My view is that it’s up to people how they get on with each other. By and large I like to let people do their own thing.”

Next up, scatty little millennial snowflake running currently-trendy shop that no-one considers essential:

Rosie Fletcher is delighted face coverings will be mandatory from 24 July. She was already planning to ask customers to wear them in her north London shop, but the government’s announcement “means I have some more force behind it”, she says.

“It’s not just me being wacky. I can say: ‘A-ha! The government says so too!’”Making face coverings compulsory, she says, will make her feel more secure.

“Masks aren’t magic but when people wear them, it says to me that they’re taking the pandemic seriously.”

Gosh. It's a hard choice, eh?

The Latest Front In The Entitlement Wars

I am disabled with very limited mobility and a chronic pain condition which makes commuting incredibly difficult at the best of times. I have my 'please give me a seat' badge and card which I wear whenever I travel, but it is not enough.

No, it never is, is it?

I still find myself having to plead with people for a priority seat (or any seat) on tubes and buses. Part of the problem is people do not look up at the stops. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes because they are engrossed in their phone or paper.

So what, people should obsessively scan the carriage, never relaxing? You don't expect much, do you?

This petition is to ask TFL and the Minister for Transport to launch a new campaign. A 'Look Up' campaign.

Great. Another new campaign.

TFL have pre-recorded announcements on every bus and tube in the city with upcoming stop information, with mind the gap announcements. I would like TFL to consider introducing an announcement at every stop with the message 'look up, does someone need your seat?'

Which will be 'tuned out' just the same as those other messages.

Having to ask someone to vacate a priority seat is incredibly hard. Not just because of the embarrassment or fear or rejection but because you cannot be sure if the person sitting in it is able to stand or not.

Just like everyone else, then!

We need 'Look Up' to become as common place and as instinctive as 'Mind the Gap'.

And as soon as it does, and everyone treats it just like those announcements, you'll be back demanding more action. Won't you?

Another 'Human Right'...?

Antoinette Brown (Ed: My, what big hands you have...) was shopping at One Stop in Manor Way, Borehamwood, on April 6 when she suddenly became desperate for the toilet.

The 53-year-old, from Radlett, has ulcerative colitis, which causes inflammation of the bowel, and can lead to diarrhoea, cramps and tiredness.

After paying for her items she asked a member of staff if she could use their toilet and presented a ‘Can’t Wait’ card issued by charity Crohn’s and Colitis UK that explains the condition.

But it didn't have the desired effect....

She claims a member of staff then asked the manager, who reluctantly agreed to speak to her. She was taken to the manager’s office, where he told her: “I’m not interested. You are not using it.”

Mrs Brown replied: “Please read the card”. But the manager replied: “I’m telling you, you are not using it.”

When she told him it was against her human rights, she claims the manager then said “I don’t care, take me to court, sue me”.

She told the manager she could not stand and argue with him, and says she heard him say: “I don’t care, f*** off”.

I can actually feel some sympathy for the manager here.

I can imagine the strident tone this conversation took after the first refusal. The fact she thinks being able to demand the use of private facilities is a 'human right' tells you all you need to know.

She lodged a complaint with One Stop on the same day of the incident. Mrs Brown wants to use her experience to raise awareness of the illness.

And warn all other shops in the area just what they might be letting themselves in for..?

Something Doesn't Add Up....

A 78-year-old Suffolk man killed a neighbour’s dog with a shotgun and then threatened to shoot its owner, it has been alleged.

Rolfe, of Undley Road, Lakenheath, has denied affray and destroying a dog belonging to Mr Conway-Lusted on September 13 last year.

I must have missed this one!

Giving evidence, Max Kettley, Mr Conway-Lusted’s stepson, said he had been at home when he saw Coco jump through a fence into Rolph’s garden.

He said that when his stepfather had run towards Rolph and asked him if he had shot his dog, Rolph had pointed a shotgun at him and said: “I did shoot the dog and I’ll shoot you, too.”

He said that during the incident Mr Conway-Lusted, who had suffered a number of heart attacks, had become unwell and an ambulance was called.

Mr Kettley found Coco’s dead body by a perimeter fence the following day.

Wait, he found the dog's body? Weren't the police called - armed police, at that?

Well, yes, they were. And he didn't have a licence for the ammo.

So, why didn't they look for - and find - the evidence that proves their case?

"Watch Out Sarge, He's Got A Dibber!"

Let's be careful out there, officers...

The Offence-Takers Get Ambitious....

A traffic accident, a news report, and....CUE OUTRAGE!

This is what pandering to the lowest-common denominator on other matters gets you - a demand that newspapers should cease reporting news.

With the modern, thoroughly warped version of 'respect' (meaning craven capitulation for fear of injury) thrown in for good measure.

And We Wonder Why The Quality Of Our Police 'Service' Continues To Nosedive...

In an impact statement read out at Hove Crown Court yesterday, the woman said: “I completely trusted him and now see how stupid I was.

“I felt like I was his puppet. This continued for months and gradually got worse.

“He kept me in a place where I didn’t know if I was coming or going.

“He destroyed my self-esteem.”

Just another weak, low IQ female victim of a terrible cad..?

Her health deteriorated dramatically during their relationship and she said between July 2015 and July 2016 she lost three stone in weight due to the “stress of being with him”.

She said: “I 100 per cent blame Alex for causing my illness. I believe the stress he brought to me caused my illness.

“I was off work for months after this.

“He ruined me financially. I was left with no choice but to move in with my parents, which, with my two very young children, brought stresses.”

Gosh! How terrible. Say, what was your job, anyway?

Alex Rush was a Brighton-based PC and acting sergeant before being dismissed for gross misconduct last year.

He started an intimate relationship with a lower-rank constable, also based in the city, in July 2015, despite having a wife and son.

I...

Wait. You were employed by the police, and couldn't spot (or deal with) a wrong 'un?

What Is It With Ears In Liverpool..?

It must have some significance....

Today's Round Of 'Typo Or Colloquialism? You Decide'...

...and of course, it's in the 'Mail'! They what on her door...?

The Barbed Wire Fence Wasn't A Clue Then..?

Vanessa Newman, 51, was walking her dogs Dolly and Coco in a field near her home in Newhaven when she stopped to feed some carrots to the horses.

A horse pushed her aside and trampled on six-year-old miniature schnauzer Dolly and her three-year-old chihuahua cross Coco. Dolly broke her neck in the attack and later died.

It makes a change from the other way around...

She said: “I have never stopped to feed the horses before with the dogs.”

Really? What stopped you?

“I grabbed them both and got to the fence and lifted them both carefully over. Then I climbed over the barbed wire fence myself.”

Ah. Maybe that?

“I blame myself. But I don’t think aggressive horses should be kept in fields which the public can walk through.”

'Can walk through' only after they've crossed the fence designed to keep them out?

In case you were wondering....

Well, it IS Brighton!

I Don't Think It's A Dog That This Family Needs...

Eight-year-old Riley Whitehouse has autism, ADHD, anxiety, and is becoming increasingly unmanageable in the Redbourn family setting.

His conditions made him aggressive, impatient, impulsive, and rude. He sometimes lashes out at his siblings, such as pushing them at the top of the stairs.

Sounds very much like an accident waiting to happen. Who is ensuring the safety and welfare of the other children? Anyone?

Autism Life Dogs could help Riley because they are specially trained to react to their particular owners needs and develop physical, cognitive, life and social skills. However, the helper puppies cost £20,000, of which mum of four Shelley, 30, needs to contribute £9,500.

Wait, that's the answer? A dog? No matter how well trained, it'd have to be a combination of Lassie and Rin Tin Tin to prevent disaster!

Shelley is also juggling caring for 16-month-old Mikey, who has severe allergies and is fed through a tube, six-year-old Brooke and four-year-old Skyla-Louise.

Nice crop of disabilities there, as well as chavnames!

She said: “Life is miserable and this dog is the only light at the end of our tunnel right now. We cannot cope. Well definitely not for much longer.”

So the answer is to go begging for money in the newspaper, instead of facing up to the issue? Wonderful! Welcome to modern 'parenting'...

OK, What Am I Missing Here?

Sentencing Dixon the judge said "This was a completely unprovoked attack on the streets of Cheltenham. You took part in a sustained and repeated assault. You joined in the initial attack.

"I accept that you did not use the boot, but you were there to support your friends, and when a member of the public tried to stop a vicious attack, you attacked him.

"There were nasty injuries to the victim. In my judgement it is so serious only prison is justified. You have a bad record for someone aged 26."

Wow, wonder how long he's going to give h...

Oh.

"The only question is whether I can suspend the sentence. I am prepared to suspend the sentence, just.

"Don't get involved in violence again."

*speechless*

Dixon was ordered to pay £290 in court costs and surcharges. The judge chose not to order that Dixon pay compensation to Mr Mahovo, despite an application from the prosecution.

*beyond speechless*

I can see no reason for leniency in the sentence. Even less for denying the innocent victim compensation.

Perhaps that's why I'm not a judge?

Hard Cases Making Bad Law?

The Solicitor General said: 'Having considered the application, I have given consent to the family of Carole Myers to apply to the High Court for a new inquest into her death.

'I am satisfied that it is in the interests of justice for the application for a new inquest to be heard by the High Court.'

Really? Wouldn't you have to first change the law?

Mr Felstead said that by not ruling that these memories were false the court left 'a lingering doubt, a lingering suspicion that these things are true, and our position is that they are categorically not'.

'There was a 15-month investigation and it concluded that she was not abused, she was not sexually assaulted. It was a myth,' he said.

'Carol went to the doctor with a persistent headache.

'There was nothing wrong with Carol before she had therapy.

'All of her problems came from her having therapy.'

You're asking the coroner to do something I don't think they are able to do. They've certainly done as much as they possibly can within the limits of their remit:

During the previous inquest in 2015, Mr Felstead told Westminster Coroner's Court, which was sitting at the Royal Courts of Justice, that her family 'fiercely' contest the allegations.

Addressing the court, Mr Felstead said: 'I just want to ask that the court acknowledges that Carol developed false memories.

'She had treatment and memories that were false and demonstrably not true.'

Coroner Fiona Wilcox said she could not rule that Ms Myers suffered from false memories, but acknowledged that the 'extreme allegations that were made of satanic sexual abuse and murder were investigated and found to be absolutely unsubstantiated'.

She added: 'I wish to be clear that the family absolutely protest claims that Carol was abused sexually, and that the allegations of satanic sexual abuse and murder that she made in life were investigated by police and found to be unsubstantiated.'

I have nothing but sympathy with the family, but what they are asking for is not possible, and they have been told that.

Compare and contrast this with the easy allegations that are made over historical sex abuse. It's a bugger's muddle, and no mistake.

Futile Gestures Part 24257851

South Essex College bosses have banned all staff and students from bringing in sport cap bottles...in a bid to...

Oh, I can't wait...!

...stop acid attacks.

Huh? So...has there been some at this college?

A spokesman told the Echo the decision was not prompted by any incidents at the college.

Ah. OK. Well, guess it can't hurt to be proactive.

He said: “There’s no hidden element behind our new policy. “As the weekend’s events in Stratford show, these attacks are unfortunately becoming all too common. We’ve put this in place as a purely preventative measure, we will continue to make sure the safety of our students, staff and visitors remains our top priority.

“We have more than 10,000 students, and up to 1,000 staff members, across all three of our campuses.”

Well, good job you didn't just take a knee-jerk over reaction that even they could see thr...

Oh, wait. You did!

Molly McTigue, 17, from Little Wakering, who is studying Media Make Up at the college, said: “I got told off for bringing a Lucozade bottle into class on Wednesday. I didn’t know why.

“I suppose it’s good because they’re trying to prevent acid attacks, but I don’t think it will make any difference because they will find other ways of doing it.”

Incredibly, they seem smarter than their educators already.

Heed Thy Mother And Thy Father....

On Tuesday Bristow was handed a two year community order and ordered to pay £1,000 in compensation by Judge Clement Goldstone QC after admitting being in charge of a dog dangerously out of control, causing injury.

She was also told to complete a 20 day rehabilitation course with the Probation Service.

The 49-year-old was told that, if necessary, she must sell her other dog - a 12-year-old Teacup Chihuahua - to pay the compensation after Judge Goldstone said: “It’s the least you can do to repay the wrong that is incalculable to the boy and his mother.”

I doubt it'll fetch a lot!

Describing the dog as “unmanageable”, Judge Goldstone said pictures of the boy’s injuries would “haunt you for the rest of your life.”

He added: “Staffies are high maintenance dogs. It’s amazing the amount of times these courts hear that the way the dog behaved was totally out of character. Well nobody could say, sadly, that it was the first time that a dog of this kind had behaved in that way.”

Quite so.

But I can't help but feel that maybe there's someone else who should have been sharing the dock with her...

The court heard the incident occurred at Bristow’s home in Citron Close, Walton, in summer last year as she chatted with the victim’s mum.

Chris Hopkins, prosecuting, told the court the pair intended to continue their conversation inside the house and aimed to go in through the back garden.

He said: “The defendant told the boy’s mother the dog would be OK but would jump up because it was excited.

“The boy told his mother he didn’t want to go in but she held his hand and told him it would be ok, as she didn’t want him to be scared of dogs.”

Gosh, nice one, mum! That worked out pretty well, didn't it?

"He ended his tirade by saying simply: "I rest my case your honour.""

During the two-day trial prosecution barristers said that after telling confused passersby to 'go back to Isis' he slapped a Chinese boy with a newspaper and then hurled abuse at the Welsh family.

He then approached three young girls and made lewd remarks, threatening them with a syringe taken out of a nearby bin, before he was arrested by police.

Representing himself in court, Brown yesterday delivered a largely incoherent rant from the dock as his closing speech.

Brown, who denied any involvement in the incident, told jurors that the 'Government was corrupt' and referred to the 'corrupt' police as 'them boys in Cowley'.

He also made references to Theresa May, 'that Scottish woman' and Brexit.

 Makes a lot more sense than a lot of defendants, I have to say...

After the jury returned a unanimous guilty verdict on all three counts he then screamed and shouted and continued to hurl abuse shouting 'respect the referendum' and 'Brexit'.

He will be sentenced at the same court after psychiatric reports are prepared on October 10.

Oh, I think we can skip that, don't you?

Cheap Food = Cheap Alcohol = ?

With more than two months to go before Philip Pullman’s long-awaited new novel from the world of His Dark Materials is published, pre-orders have sent La Belle Sauvage flying up bestseller lists.

But with booksellers already slashing the cover price in half, the award-winning author has spoken out about how cheap books devalue the experience of reading, and called for an end to the “pernicious” doctrine of “market fundamentalism” if literary culture is to survive.

Well, seems the answer is 'cheap books'.

Wait.Seriously?

“It’s easy to think that readers gain a great deal by being able to buy books cheaply. But if a price is unrealistically cheap, it can damage the author’s reputation (or brand, as we say now), and lead to the impression that books are a cheap commodity and reading is an experience that’s not worth very much.”

Maybe it isn't? There's thousands upon thousands of available books. They can't all be best sellers.

Maybe some are the equivalent of junk food, some the equivalent of cheap plonk. Isn't it up to the consumer to decide which is which?

He suggested the government should coordinate a search for new ways of working, involving representatives from across the book trade.

Oh. Of course. Leave it to the government, they'll sort it out!

Pullman said that he was “not blaming any one of the parties involved in the book trade in particular” for the current situation, because “I want the whole trade to prosper”. Instead, he looked to “a simple villain – the doctrine of market fundamentalism, that the market knows best, and that a free market is the best of all possible states”.

Maybe you're right, Phil, 'ol son...

*cancels pre-order of Pullman's new book on Amazon*

That feels better!

Maybe It's Me...

...but isn't a zoo with no live exhibits a museum?

At Least She Didn’t Put Her On The Liverpool Care Pathway…

An NHS hospital manager assaulted her disabled neighbour in a foul-mouthed spat over the noise she was making while walking up the stairs, a court heard.

Jamie Peterson, 39, flew into a rage when she heard management consultant Sarah Kinsella enter their shared building in Hornton Street, Kensington.

She dashed from her flat with her trusted pet dog, a Dachshund called Herman, to confront Ms Kinsella, angry that she was using a trolley to take heavy shopping up to her first floor home.

Peterson accused her neighbour of being “f***ing fat and lazy” for using the trolley, despite knowing Ms Kinsella was unable to lift heavy objects because of a hip disability.

Peterson said “don’t be so loud”, referred to her neighbour as “it” rather than “she”, then shoved the trolley into Ms Kinsella as she climbed the stairs.

Charming! No wonder the staff are brutal and callous, if that's the kind of 'leadership' they see every day...

Peterson, who has held senior posts at Barts and The London and Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trusts, denied attacking her neighbour but was found guilty by magistrates following a short trial.

Her lawyer, Hesham Puri, said the conviction means she faces losing her current job and being evicted from the Kensington flat.

I bet it doesn't.

She was given a two-year conditional discharge by magistrates, who ordered her to pay £620 in court costs.

Given the salary she no doubt gets, that's, what, a couple of hours work?