If The 'Mail' Can Trace The Mutt, Why Can't The Met Police? ...

The 'Mail' does some detective work:

The Cane Corso that savaged a Jack Russell belonging to the Queen's son guards a £30 million mansion owned by the glamorous ex-wife of a controversial Chinese mining tycoon, the Daily Mail can reveal. Maud, a two-year-old terrier owned by Tom Parker Bowles, was left fighting for life after the 10-stone mastiff tore into her on Kensington High Street last Thursday. 

...a Daily Mail investigation has traced the brute to a luxury mansion on one of Britain's most expensive streets - where Chinese businesswoman Maria Leung keeps two Cane Corsos as protection animals.

Strange that the Met Police couldn't track down a dangerous dog right under their noses, isn't it? Especially since if the mutts are registerd guard dogs, these are covered by strict regulations which have clearly been broken here, 

Local walkers say the hound is well-known in the area as guard dogs kept within the property's walled garden. The handler who was seen with the animal during the mauling was again observed taking the Corso out this week, often accompanied by another member of staff.

And yet they are clearly unable to control the four legged buglar deterrants. Shouldn't police be concerned? 

It's not helpful that the victim is such a limp rag, spouting dog nonsense usually spouted by the enthusiasts for these violent breeds, despite his ordeal and the almost-loss of his pet: 

Parker Bowles said he was 'a firm believer that there's no such thing as a bad dog, rather a bad owner' and did not want the dog responsible to be put down 

But he called for restrictions on Cane Corso-style dogs, saying: 'What I do want, though, is these big, powerful and often beautiful dogs to be muzzled when out in public. Is that too much to ask?''I'm certainly not a fan of knee-jerk legislation, of banning certain breeds, or having them destroyed. I'd much rather put the responsibility on the owner. 

'If you cannot control your dogs, or train, walk and look after them properly, then you have no right to own a dog. It's as simple as that.'

Well, Tom, now you know the mutt is owned by a citizen of a country that's an enemy of the UK, instead of the usual brain-dead chav,  perhaps you'll show a bit more backbone. 

Cane Corsos have increasingly become known as 'status dogs' since it was made illegal to own the XL Bully breed in 2023 without an exemption certificate.

As was predicted here. 

In September, Conservative MP Gregory Stafford asked whether the breed should be prohibited under the Dangerous Dogs Act, but the Government said it had no plans to do so.

No, it's far too busy regulating those far more dangerous things than 7 stone killer dogs - wetwipes and milkshakes. 

Man Up, Juan!

Helicopter footage of the near-30-minute chase was being broadcast on KCBS-TV when the suspect was shown emerging from a van in the Mount Washington neighborhood in an apparent attempt to flee. The man is seen hopping over a divider on the 110 Freeway before a car in the opposing lane speeds by, striking him as the camera had zoomed in.

And modern day male news anchors aren't made of The Right Stuff anymore, it seems... 

'Whoa, wow! Oh my god! Oh no! Oh no!' weekday anchor Juan Fernandez could be heard saying. 'Stay wide, stay wide, he got hit,' said assignment editor Mike Rogers, instructing the cameraperson to pull back.

Surely the possibility for this sort of thing exists with every live police chase? Well, not everyone lost their shit: 

The feed then cut to the studio, where Fernandez was shown with his mouth open and face frozen, with a hand on his cheek. His co-anchor, Suzie Suh, kept her composure to speak to viewers. 'We just saw the person who was being pursued get out of their car and actually get hit by another speeding car,' she said.

The only thing she did wrong was not to look at the camera, shrug, and say 'Shit happens!'... 

Animal control were also called to the scene to remove a dog from the inside the van, the Los Angeles Fire Department said.

If the dog had got out and been run over, Pussy Juan's reaction might have been a little more understandable. 

Some ‘Gladiator’

Police are investigating after Gladiators star Apollo was reportedly harassed by a stalker on set, at his flat and during a meet-and-greet with fans. Security has been increased around the star, real name Alex Gray, 33, one of several athletes appearing in the hit BBC One show, The Sun on Sunday reports.

A woman targeted Gray at TV studios in Sheffield, an apartment block where he was staying and during a personal appearance at a shopping centre, the newspaper said.

 Russell Crowe's gladiator needed no security to fend off stalking pussy....

Does 'Boss' Mean Something Different These Days?

Questions are urgently being asked over who is to blame for the proposed editing out of disabled children from school photos, with a boss of the photography firm at the centre of the scandal insisting 'it is not company policy.' Terence Tempest, 70, was unable to explain why parents had been given the option - as he vowed to investigate how the fiasco came to be.

Shouldn't he already know, if it's his company and he's a boss of it? Wouldn't he have tried to find out the moment this all blew up?

He revealed 'heartbroken' bosses were locked in crisis meetings to discover 'what the hell happened', and described the suggestion to delete children with complex needs from the class pictures as 'unacceptable'.

Clearly not, since someone at the company accepted the suggestion, or - worse - suggested it themselves! Maybe this company has too many 'bosses' to run properly?

'If I was in that position I would want an apology. I don't run the company and I'm in touch with the managing director at the moment and they will decide what to do.'

It sounds like he's the only one who decided to be the spokesperson, even though everything he says sounds like he's digging a deeper hole for the company... 

He said: 'I'm not sure what the current policy is frankly, it depends what we are asked to do. We just respond to what we are asked for.

'We have got another meeting coming up and will find out whether the photographer was asked to do it. Did they do it off their own back?'

If it turns out the school requested it, this is going to run and run.  

But Irony Is, It's No Longer Shocking....

Woke up this morning, put in the radio, wondered why Vanessa Feltz wasn't wittering on as usual, tuned in with half an ear as I made the tea and fed the cats.

That's how I learned about the Manchester terrorist atrocity.

Nigel Farage tweeted this morning that the bomb was targeted at children, and this would be 'a big shock for the UK'. Would it? Really?

IS ANYONE SHOCKED ANYMORE?

We go to the polls in a few weeks. Choose wisely.

Keep Crying ‘Wolf’, Ladies…

A student who caused a furore when he spoke out against sexual consent workshops fears for his academic future after a fierce campus backlash.

George Lawlor, 19, claims he has been driven out of lectures and bars at Warwick University by feminist campaigners who shout "rapist" wherever he goes.

They shout it because they know full well you aren’t. They wouldn’t be so free with their accusations if they ever had to face the consequences of them.

Mr Lawlor added: "When you search my name all you find is my name next to the word 'rapist'.

"If you want to be a doctor or a lawyer you don't want to risk having this sort of reputation... so there's a fear that stops people talking freely."

So…you want to be a doctor or a lawyer?

Mr Lawlor, who studies politics and sociology, said he feared the furore would affect his academic work and his future career.

Oh. I don’t think we need to concern ourselves much with your future career, then.

Stand Aside, Citizen! This Is A Job For Beta Man Male!

Jonathan McIntosh opines:

A staple of the superhero genre is the tendency to concoct these elaborate scenarios where "good guys" end up having to fight each other for some reason. This is often framed as a way to resolve their interpersonal issues before they can go beat up the “bad guys” and save the world. The ultimate macho pissing contest. Who’s the toughest tough guy of them all? How do superheroes make friends? By punching each other. How do you resolve conflicts, big and small? By punching each other. Whose plan will be followed? How is trust built among teammates? Face-punching can accomplish all this and more. We need to raise questions at the model of male bonding and friendship-building by way of violence.

Do we? OK. If you say so.

Back before The Avengers were household names, superheroes were the domain of geekdom, and particularly “geek guys” who, to some degree, felt personally ostracised and disillusioned by the ideals of stereotypical tough-guy manhood in mainstream culture. Despite being made to feel subordinate to concepts of hypermasculinity, many geek guys have nonetheless embraced superheroes that embody hypermasculine traits and values. They tend to idolise those ideals despite being alienated from them as individuals. This self-identification with hypermasculinity is no doubt one of the factors in the rampant misogyny that plagues the comic book industry and community. The particular brand of superhero masculinity represents a popular conception of what it means to be a “real man,” a conception that is not relegated solely to the realms of fantasy. Hypermasculinity manifests everywhere in our culture and can be seen reflected in politics….

ZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzz….

Eh? What? Sorry, I must have drifted off there for a bit.

I’m awake now! Pray carry on, Jonathan!

One common reaction I encounter whenever I bring up these questions is….

A solid punch on the nose? No?

Pity…

… the concern that there's no way to create exciting dramatic tension or conflict in movies, other than resorting to violence as the ultimate resolution. Of course, that’s not true, as evidenced by one of the most exciting and intense pictures of the year, The Martian. A remarkable thing about that film is that it contains absolutely no violence or killing. All problems are solved through science, cooperation and human creativity. And yet the filmmakers behind The Martian managed to create a widely successful, thrilling, edge-of-your-seat blockbuster. Given the current state of the world, we could certainly do with a hell of a lot more heroes who solve complex problems with innovation and ingenuity rather than by punching each other in the face. Perhaps it's time to move on from these tired masculinised concepts.

*sighs* ‘The Martian’ is as much a fantasy as superheroes dukin’ it out. They are all fantasy. They are entertainment. Nothing more.

If you can’t handle that much excitement, there’s always a ‘My Little Pony’ rerun on the Cartoon Channel, or something.

I Don’t Think Deafness Is Sanjeev’s Main Handicap, Somehow….

Frances Ryan is crying wolf yet again:

Against the backdrop of this month’s jubilant A-level and GCSE results, 17-year-old Sanjeev Singh provides a different picture of what it is to be young in Conservative Britain.

Oh, the humanity! I should provide a ‘trigger warning’ here, because it seems that Sanjeev is forced to…

*readers of a nervous disposition might want to look away now*

…ride THE BUS!

In many ways, Sanjeev is a young person “doing the right thing”. He lives at home with his mum and three siblings and, since leaving school a year ago, he has persisted in looking for work. But Sanjeev, 17, is deaf and once prospective employers know he has a disability, they don’t contact him again.

He keeps trying to get interviews but, unable to travel safely alone on public transport, he has no way of getting to them.

Yes, incredible as it may seem, in a country where a double amputee once flew fighter aircraft in combat in a war zone, the removal of a taxpayer-funded taxicab to job interviews is cause for weeping, wailing and rending of garments.

Personally, having ridden the bus in term time (thanks, RMT strikers!), I’d think being deaf would be a blessed relief from the screaming & shouting that seems to take the place of normal conversation, but there we are…

This is where the welfare state’s safety net is meant to kick in. Disability living allowance (DLA), for example – a benefit Sanjeev has received since he was six years old – could pay for a taxi on the days he needs get to an interview and has no one to help him communicate with the crowds on a bus.

But the government chose to replace DLA with personal independence payment (PIP) and after being tested for the new, tougher assessment in December, Sanjeev had his benefits stopped, after more than a decade.

What you’re describing isn’t a ‘safety net’, Frances, it’s a feather bed. Hundreds of deaf people cope with public transport, why should Sanjeev not be able to cope?

Clearly, the Benefit Office realised this, which is why the payments stopped.

Sanjeev tells me he’s going to keep looking for work while starting the appeal process to try and get his disability benefit back. He asks if I know how to fill out the forms. “I’m not getting any help,” he explains. “I’ll need to tell my mum to ring them.”

So you expect to get a job, but can’t manage to fill in the appeal forms without ‘help’? Good lord, you’re seventeen! Why would anyone employ someone so hopeless?

And this hopelessness has nothing to do with your disability, but with your attitude to life. Is being deaf and jobless a picnic? No, I doubt it. Has life dealt you a harsh card? Yes, undoubtedly. But that doesn’t mean you can expect a life coddled by your mum and the taxpayer forever!

Employers aren’t going to be impressed with ‘I can’t get to the interview ‘cos I ain’t got money for a taxi, innit?’ if they can look up and see their own disabled employees at their desks, working away, having surmounted the difficulty of commuting.

I think your main ‘disability’ is perpetual childhood. Grow up.

It’s Time A Stand Was Taken…

The Rockinghorse children’s charity called off the fundraising event at Hove Greyhound Stadium – after greyhound activists waged a vicious social media campaign.

Activists sent a series of aggressive messages to the charity’s staff on social media – including making a vile joke about going to the hospital “to bet on the children’s lives”.

Several other supporters “liked” the comment.

We’re going to see more and more of this. Why? Because it works…

And part of the reason it works is because there’s a general lack of backbone:

Rockinghorse chief executive officer Ryan Heal branded their comments “despicable” .

He said he had no choice but to cancel the event – which was being held to raise money to buy a vital cardiac monitor for the Royal Alexandra Children’s Hospital.

No, he had a choice. He could have simply ignored them. Internet blowhards are ten-a-penny, but rarely do more than bitch and whine electronically. This chap should have realised this.

“When we received messages, including that the activists should go to the baby unit and bet on which baby ‘would and would not make it’ (by way of a comparison to greyhound race betting), we knew we were dealing with dangerous individuals and felt enough was enough.

…

“As we don’t know how far their abuse will go, we feel it best to cancel the event and have them deal with the fallout of their ‘campaign’ that has resulted in approximately £5,000 not being raised for our cause, which would have purchased a cardiac monitor for the children’s emergency department at the Royal Alex.”

Nonsense! If you really thought they were ‘dangerous people’, why didn’t you report them to the police? You claim to have considered it, after all:

The charity even consulted Sussex Police and Crime Commissioner Katy Bourne over whether to report the matter to police – but decided against it.

*sighs* And so they get to claim a victory. Just like the loons targeting Caffé Nero.

It’s time people threatened by these idiots grew a spine and started pushing back.

H/T: @splendjoel via Twitter

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.."

Postmen are refusing to deliver to a block of flats in London unless they are escorted by a group of female pensioners.

Yes, you read that right. And no, it's not April 1st yet...

The arrangement began six months ago after a 34-year-old woman living in Rowland Hill flats was accused of assaulting a postman as well as sending threatening emails to Royal Mail.

As part of the bizarre operation, two female pensioners living at the flats watch the postman’s van in case his tyres are slashed.

*sighs*

No Decisions Please, I’m A British ‘New Man’…

Stuart Heritage is driven to angst by….charity tokens. Yes. Really.

You're supposed to put these tokens in one of three boxes, each representing an individual cause. Conservatively, I must have spent a third of my life slumped in front of these boxes, agonising over which cause to pick. Should I give it to the dilapidated care home or the local postnatal unit? There's one here collecting money for beehives. Who do I like more, babies or old people? I certainly won't give my token to the beekeepers. But what about the documentary I saw that said we'll all die if the bees go extinct? Perhaps my token would do more good there. Yeah. That's what I'll do. Screw you, premature babies. God, did I really just think, "Screw you, premature babies"? I'm an awful person. On and on and on it goes. Eventually, withered and hungry, I'll give up. I'll press the token into a stranger's hand. "You look like a kindly fellow," I'll croak. "I trust you to make the right decision."

What a man of action you are!

It's also, broadly speaking, my attitude towards voting.

Well, I’m surprised. Not.

Call me naive, but it seems sensible to assume that an MP would be better at making important decisions than me.

Really? Well, actually, you may have a point. Frankly, I don’t think there’s much in it though!

I don't think I'm alone in thinking this, which is why Nigel Farage's newfound love affair with referendums is doomed to failure. This week, Farage declared that a Ukip government would hold regular public referendums for everything from foreign affairs to housing schemes. Direct democracy, he calls it. A massive pain, I call it.

Of course you do – thinking’s hard. Better to get someone to do it for you. Relieve you of that terrible burden of responsibility.

…really, I don't want that much of a say. Nobody does. That's what elections are for. An election is a genius act of delegation. I don't want to spend the next five years embarking on an in-depth series of work and pension spending reviews. That's why I went to the trouble of picking a representative to do it for me.

Hey, I want a say. So do lots of people. You speak for them about as well as those ‘representatives’ you seem to favour speak for….well, for you.

Tom Andrew Brown’s Schooldays

They must have been awesome….

The Duke of Wellington once made me cry. I was sitting in a prep school dining hall, where we also sometimes studied, and I read in our textbook a passage where he had reacted to the horrible distress among workers and peasants in Britain after the Napoleonic wars – starvation and repression that led to the Peterloo massacre. His advice was that the poor should put curry powder in their drinking water. His troops, he said, had found this a useful substitute for food when on their campaigns in India.

When I read this I was at once seized by the most choking, terrible sadness. First my throat and then the whole building smelled thick with snot in a most disgusting way. I had to rush to the lavatories and rub my face with cold water before I could breathe and stop weeping.

Oh, wow! What can you say to that?

In those days, at the Dragon school, the food could be so awful that curry powder in water would have been better. We were given milk in bottles that held a third of a pint, and were stored, in crates, without refrigeration. This meant in summer that the good milk was tinged with sourness; the bad milk was practically acid, and the worst milk had entirely separated into curds and whey. It all got drunk.

Truly, another example of #firstworldproblems…

Yet this kind of physical hardship had nothing much to do with poverty. Our parents were paying good money to have us educated there and the school was not particularly heartless. It just had an ethos that paid little account to physical pleasure. There was an expectation that we should learn to endure discomfort. It was absolutely not the same as a belief that discomfort was all life would hold.

So much better now, in 2013, when physical pleasure is not just something to pursue, but a right!

And who endures anything any more? Why, no-one! It has gone the way of deferred gratification and the dodo…