I am of course not talking about illegal immigrants - they are well protected - but about invasive parakeets. Apparently, the London catapult yobs find them an easy target, and at least this spares our native wildlife.
A wildlife charity said 43 ring-necked parakeets were found in Priory Gardens in Orpington, south-east London, in just three weeks.
Dead, from likely catapult wielding youths. Well, saves them using native species for targets, I guess...
The charity is now calling for tighter controls on the sale of catapults to under-18s and for wildlife crime to be given greater priority by police.
Of course they are.
Gareth Bacon, the Conservative MP for Orpington, has previously called for catapult sales to be licensed.
Od course he has.
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Proof again, as if any is needed, that the Tories and Labour, sing from the same authoritarian, finger-wagging po-faced hymn-sheet.
Perhaps it's time for potential and actual MPs to have an internationally accredited qualification in critical thinking, and at least a GCSE in English, Maths, British History and Proper Science, have held full citizenship for at least ten years, be subject to full vetting, plus be licenced and having been notarised on path, as having fulfilled those criteria.
The same should apply to any elected public office. Dual Nationals automatically excluded.
As for that Blairite moron masquerading as a Tory MP, has he never heard of home made catapults, made from forked pieces of tree branches. Hey, perhaps we should ban trees unless licenced with parakeets retrained and bred to live on the ground once the parks have been felled of these potential deadly weapons.
My suggestion is that this idiot and those if a similar ilk, regardless of political leanings, be catapulted out of parliament and local councils, assemblies etc as quickly as possible.
As political now seems to be for the birds, perhaps we should now be electing the parakeets instead. Parliament, Assemblies and Councils will be indistinguishable with similar levels of squawking and screeching, but save potloads of fish as they literally could be paid peanuts, while replacing the dozy monkeys we had previously.
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