How Very Statesmanlike...

...not!

Volodymyr Zelensky has wished for Vladimir Putin to die in his annual Christmas address - as he offers to create a demilitarised zone in Ukraine to bring an end to the war with Russia. The Ukrainian president called for his Russian counterpart to 'perish' in a pre-recorded statement posted to his X account on Christmas Eve.

Christmas being a traditional time when, no matter what has happenrdf in the world in the year, heads of state make the usual 'turn the other cheek' addresses to their nations, but I guess when your head of state ois a coked up former comedian who had to be admonished on live TV by the US president for his behaviour, the normal rules don't apply.

Mr Zelensky's strong words come after a conciliatory offer he made today in a bid to stop the conflict with Russia, which has now been raging for nearly four years. He suggested creating a demilitarised zone in the east of his country in a bid to speed up marathon peace plan negotiations with US officials in Florida.

I'd say Trump must be pulling his hair out at this, but, well... 

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished, Mrs Debenham...

An NHS mental health specialist who took in a Ukrainian refugee was reported for modern day slavery after she asked her guest to help out more with the dishes.

Hannah Debenham, 42, of Uckfield, East Sussex, was under investigation for two months following the accusation, before the case was dropped this week when no evidence was found.

Predictably, the police insisted they'd done nothing wrong: 

Detective Chief Inspector Gavin Patch, of Sussex Police, defended his force's action today, telling MailOnline the investigation was 'expedited as quickly as possible', adding that it takes any report of slavery 'very seriously'.

And when you look beyond the screaming headlines in the 'Mail', perhaps they were half-right: 

Ms Debenham's saga began when she and her husband, who also works in the NHS, were looking for an au pair to work in their eight-bedroom home.

So, not a case where someone sees the 'plight' of a refugee on the tv at all and...wait.

An eight bedroom house? For two NHS workers?  

They stumbled upon the profile of a Ukrainian woman in her 30s who claimed she was also an English teacher, and reached out to her to see if she would be a good fit. According to Ms Debenham, they came to an agreement that would allow the teacher and her ten-year-old daughter to stay with them on the basis that she would perform babysitting duties for two to three days a week, for which she would be paid £200. Ms Debenham filled out the paperwork via the Homes for Ukraine scheme, which she said was accepted 'remarkably quickly'.

So Mrs Debenham decided to get herself a house servant on the cheap. But it seems the servant had ideas above her station. Deciding she was more of a guest, and less of a worker...  

The mothers then had an argument after Ms Debenham was unable to drive her guest to an appointment as she was working from home.

The plot thickens! 

'She slammed the door on me', Ms Debenham recalled, 'and I just thought: "Wow, how could she treat me this way?"

'I had driven her to so many doctors and benefits appointments, but I explained to her that she just had to respect that I work and cannot always be available to drive her.'

I'm beginning to wish we could send both sets to Ukraine, by now. I'm not as forgiving as Longrider.

'So now whenever I see a Ukrainian flag in this country I can’t help but feel anger for the people who have no gratitude, no care and no respect for people like me who was naïve and thought I could make this world a better place if I helped by inviting them to live in our home.'

You know what, Mrs Debenham? That's exactly how I feel about NHS 'workers' who play the system... 

Shouldn't His First Priority Be...

...the country for which he's now Prime Minister..?

Both of Sunak's predecessors Boris Johnson and Liz Truss had vocally promised full support to war-torn Ukraine and on Tuesday evening the new Prime Minister said the UK's support would be as 'strong as ever' under his leadership.

Calling it a 'privilege' to speak to Mr Zelensky, who had earlier sent him congratulations, Mr Sunak tweeted: 'Both he and the Ukrainian people can count on the UK's continued solidarity and support.

'We will always stand with Ukraine.'

How nice... 

Asking For A Friend...

...now the ‘plucky little Ukrainians’ are murdering terrorists, are we still expected to cheer them on?

Once Upon A Time, You Couldn't Leave Russia...

...now it's actually being suggested as a forward step:

“I believe if you leave Russia you have to be actively against the war,” said Ira Lobanovskaya, who started a Relocation Guide from the Russian Federation chat on Telegram to advise people on leaving the country. “You can’t be outside of politics any more: that is barbaric in the current climate.”

Do you want to rebuild that wall, Ira?

Ilya Ponomarev, a former Duma deputy who has lived in exile in Ukraine since 2016, is in favour of a ban. “You cannot abstain from this war,” he said in an interview in Ukraine. “If you want to abstain, don’t complain that you are being kicked out of Europe.” He said he believed 98% of people leaving the country were not in danger but left “just because it’s uncomfortable for them [in Russia]”.

I can see why they think that.... 

What Happened To The Rule Of Law?

A Russian-owned superyacht worth £38million was detained yesterday by the UK’s anti-kleptocracy unit.

We have a what now..?!

UK investigators believe the boat, called Phi, belongs to a Russian businessman named Sergei Georgievich Naumenko. It is the first ever yacht to be detained in UK waters due to sanctions.

But mystery remained over the precise reason Phi had been detained because Mr Naumenko does not appear on sanctions lists.

Then...how can they seize his property? 

Phi was first identified as being potentially Russian owned on March 13. Investigators were left questioning how the wealth of the ‘small fry’ businessman, who is understood to work in property, matched the value of the custom-built superyacht.

But a source said the boat had been impounded over concerns a wealthy oligarch was actually being ‘shielded by a pretend owner’.

Don't they have to prove it first before seizure? Or is it open season on anyone with a Russian accent now? 

And wouldn't it be nice if they showed the same vigour when dealing with other nationalities? 

The New Black Market...

According to a report by German newspaper Bild, “someone is making a fortune” out of giving non-Ukrainian economic migrants fake Ukrainian passports so they can slip into western Europe and get free welfare.

And how was this discovered? Well, when they started acting less like genuine refugees fleeing a war-torn country, grateful for the help, and more like the usual suspects: 

More than 50 migrants clashed on Saturday night during a riot at a refugee facility in Munich as chairs and paving stones were used as weapons, prompting a huge police response.

Sounds familiar, doesn't it? 

Bild cited a police source who said the overwhelming majority of the “refugees” were from the Sinti and Roma ethnic groups and that, “Only a fraction are really Ukrainian refugees.”

“They have brand-new Ukrainian passports, which are also real. Someone in Ukraine is making a fortune right now,” the newspaper quoted the police representative as saying.

The fight at the asylum center broke out “after authorities attempted to separate some of the individuals who have scabies,” reports ReMix News.

To think in the UK the height of black market profiteering during wartime was nylon stockings... 

H/T: i.r.jackson via email

It's Not Our Responsibility...

Two weeks ago, Alani Iyanuoluwa fled Kyiv as the Russian invasion intensified. Making her way across Europe, the 24-year-old hoped to be reunited with family in London. Yet for 10 days she has been stranded in a French port – because she is Nigerian.

Iyanuoluwa is among a growing number of refugees who claim the British government is ignoring black people who fled Ukraine.

No, the UK government is - quite rightly - ignoring non-Ukranians. You've got another option, haven't you? 

Iyanuoluwa is staying with two other Nigerian students in Boulogne-sur-Mer. All three fear returning to Nigeria because of the dangers of kidnapping and trafficking...

Really? So, you planned to stay in Ukraine forever? Yet never applied for citizenship, I note...  

“We’re coming from war and they are telling us that without a Ukrainian passport we can’t come to the UK, but the UK should consider all residents living in Ukraine when the war started,” she said.

Why should it? And why should the situation in Ukraine provide you - and the others - with a convenient back door into a UK that wouldn't be likely to grant you a visa in peacetime? 

Hey Biden, If You're Looking For War Crimes...

...look no further:

...footage emerged of a group six Russian soldiers calling President Vladimir Putin a 'd**khead' on the orders of their Ukrainian captors and declaring they did not want to go to war after surrendering south of Chernihiv.

The group, lead by Major Viktor Blyudin, was a reconnaissance team located in the forest near to the town of Sribne in the southern part of Chernihiv oblast. They surrendered on March 14 to civilians in Sribne after learning that a neighbouring Russian cohort was killed, according to Sribnyanshchyna newspaper which posted a video of the soldiers on Facebook.

In the video, several of the soldiers can be heard repeating after their Ukrainian captors: 'Putin is a d**khead', before asking the people of Ukraine for forgiveness and telling their family and friends that they are being treated well.

Hmmm, what does the Geneva Convention say about the treatment of PoWs?

They are protected against any act of violence, as well as against intimidation, insults, and public curiosity.

Awkward! 

In Future, You Might Want To Hide Your Vile Personality...

A security firm boss was arrested after attempting to remove all the Russian vodka from his local Sainsburys.

Mike Ockelford, 59, got into an argument with the staff at the Basildon of Sainsburys after taking the Russian Standard vodka from the shelves.

He said that after removing the bottles from the shelf, he took them to staff who eventually told him to put them back, leading to a 'slight altercation' with the workers he described as 'obnoxious'.

I can think of a few adjectives for you, chum. 'Obnoxious' is the least of them! 

Ockelford said he left the store and then returned to talk to the police - saying he had 'nothing to hide'.

But, as usual, turns out he had! 

'They asked for my details and then asked for my address, and I didn't feel like I had to give that to them so they handcuffed me and put me in the back of their car for three minutes'.

Yeah, that happens a lot when you decide to treat the police the way you've got away with treating some poor minimum wage worker. Funny how the boss of a security firm doesn't know that... 

No charges have been brought against Mr Ockelford and he said that he did not think the store would press for them.

Oh, I wish they would... 

Beyond Childish...

Hurrah! A harmless little game to take all our minds off the depressing news! Just what we need in these worrying times...

But not you, Russian kids! Not so fast!

That'll teach you for voting for Put...errr, planning to vote for Putin when you grow up!

War Is Indeed Hell...

...but just occasionally, there's an upside!

Tell That To The Bolshoi Ballet, Macron...

...and to all the Russian people unable to work or sell their products here. 

Leeds-based bar owner Arc Inspirations also confirmed it would stop serving Russian vodka. The bar business said on Twitter: 'To show our support to the people of Ukraine we will no longer be pouring any Russian vodka in any of our bars £standwithukraine.'

I'm sure Putin's quaking in his boots at your pathetically empty and vicious virtue signalling. Still, at least you aren't calling for the expulsion of Russians like this utter clown.

Pressed on whether evicting boarding school pupils from the UK would effectively impact Russia's invasion of Ukraine, he said: "The other group of people, [other] than the Russian people, that Putin listens to are the oligarchs who are his paymasters.

"Those oligarchs have children in British public schools.

"It may sound harsh and it probably is harsh...but if we want to send that message – if the oligarchs need to squeal or be made to squeal – then the way that you will do that is by taking away their privileges, and I'm afraid that is where the children come into it."

I have never been more ashamed to have voted Conservative in my life...but that's something I'll remedy in future if this old fool isn't swiftly reprimanded for his comments by the Party.

Теперь мы прерываем эту запланированную трансляцию*...

...to bring you some music. Take it away, Edwin!

Putin, though a brutal authoritarian leader, is not a charismatic madman like Hitler.

He's not even Justin, is he, Ian?

*We now interrupt this scheduled broadcast (with thanks to Google Translate)