Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time!

Strawberry lovers are being warned a bumper crop for 2025 has left them “too big” to fit in their mouths. The whoppers will be sold at UK supermarkets and are “unlike anything” growers have seen in recent years.

Challenge accepted! Who said global warming was a totally bad thing? 

Bartosz Pinkosz, the operations director at the Summer Berry Company said brighter weather, longer days and rainy weather beforehand has made the monsters, which are now being picked to be sold.

Haven’t seen any yet. Hope they will be out in time for Wimbledon!

A Fringe Benefit Of Cashless Payments?

After all, we can't say it's because the standard of parenting has got better, can we?

Society's move to cashless payments may have had an unintended positive side effect, surgeons say - fewer children needing operations or procedures to remove swallowed coins. The Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) experts looked back over hospital records in England since the Millennium. Procedures to remove foreign objects, including coins, from children's throats, airways and noses saw a "significant decline", of almost 700 cases by 2022.

I know, correlation is not causation, but... 

But other factors - such as child-proof packaging and safety campaigns - probably also helped reduce cases, especially of objects stuck up the nose.

Yet curiously, these 'other factors' seem to not work with other items! 

But concern is shifting towards other potentially dangerous shiny objects, such as button batteries and magnets, which are now sometimes swallowed by children.

So much for the saviour being technology.  

Nature Is Healing

Britain’s tallest bird, the spectacular, wetland-loving crane bred in higher numbers last summer than at any point since they disappeared from the UK in the 16th century. At least 80 pairs of cranes were recorded in 2023, up from the previous high of 72 two years earlier.

It's great to see it's not all doom and gloom... 

More recently it has been boosted by a reintroduction project where hand-reared cranes were released on expanded wetlands in the Somerset Levels. Britain has drained, developed and destroyed more than 75% of its marshland but the recent restoration of some wetlands has helped the species recolonise Wales, Scotland and nature reserves across England, including in Lincolnshire.

For once, government spending on something worthwhile! Such a rare occurrence these days. 

Andrew Stanbury, an RSPB conservation scientist, welcomed recent government announcements to spend £16m on rewetting peatlands and its Landscape Recovery Fund second round, which supports net zero goals such as restoring marshland. Wetlands are effective carbon stores, as well as reservoirs of disappearing biodiversity.

Even the ridiculous Net Zero scam can occasionally prove useful. 

Every Cloud...

The Met said yesterday its main working hypothesis was the attacker had 'gone into' the River Thames after being seen leaning over the railings of Chelsea Bridge on the night of the incident before disappearing from view.

And as a result, several families might now have closure: 

Marine Policing Unit boats have been pictured on the Thames as officers search for a body. On Saturday, police found one man's body near HMS Belfast and Tower Bridge, at 10.13am, and another man's body near Limehouse, east London at 10.39am, less than half an hour later.

Both men's deaths are being treated as unexpected and the police are working to identify them so they can inform their relatives.

Will they ever find Ezedi? Who knows. But hopefully they do. The poor Thames doesn't need more human filth in it. 

War Is Indeed Hell...

...but just occasionally, there's an upside!

I Find These Immigrants Very Palatable...

They have scuttled through Scandinavian waters and muscled their way into Britain.

...which is something I don't often say about a threat to our native population, I'll admit! 

The species, which are native to North America, came to Russia in the 1960s after scientists aimed to introduce a new, lucrative market.

The king crabs then headed to Norway, spiking a fishing industry boom before finding their way to Britain.

Despite fears for the native population, the invaders have proved a winner with London restaurants so far with many snapping up the haul for their menus.

We will fight them on the dining table! Increase production of brown bread and butter. It's for the nation! 

Adapt Or Die...

The Institute for Public Policy Research (IPPR) said the UK was nearing a 'pivotal moment', when new working practices could be adopted across the economy, amid pressure from employees for a new way of working.

Many people have adapted to working from home, while even workers in industries like manufacturing are keen on more flexible working hours, even if it means being paid less, it said in a report.

However it comes amid fears that a reluctance to return to working in city and town centre offices is having a detrimental knock-on effect on service and hospitality industries.

The service and hospitality industries only exist because people leave their homes and commute long-distance to work. That's why the transport facilities, which seem also to be a 'concern' to the government, exist too.

But if the work situation changes....why should they also not change?

The report said much of the innovation in working practices made necessary by Covid-19 - including, in manufacturing, more flexible shifts at different times of day, or staff working longer but fewer shifts to spread work between them over different days - have been helpful to workers, while maintaining production.

If production is maintained, and the business is happy, and the workers are happy...what's the issue?

Downing Street was urged to toughen up its 'back to work' message last night after a string of top firms said they would not be encouraging staff back to offices for months.

A Mail audit of big companies found many are not planning for the majority of workers to return to offices until at least towards the end of the year.

The government is therefore heading towards confrontation with civil servants, as they attempt to force them back to save the sandwich industry.

Former Tory leader Sir Iain Duncan Smith told the Mail: 'The Government needs to stop with its mixed messages. It needs to stop being equivocal and be clear that it is safe to go back to work and take public transport.

'If you're under 40 and fit and healthy you have more chance of dying while riding your bike than dying from Covid. People need to start properly weighing up the balance of risk. These employers are absolutely bloody mad for not getting more employees back – all the other small firms that rely on offices being back will go bust.'

Why do so many modern Tories want the tail to be able to wag the dog?

It's Not All Bad News...

...certainly not if it drags GPs kicking and screaming into the 21st century at last:

Before lockdown, I thought it was a great innovation that I could send a text message to my patients. They couldn’t reply, but it meant I could let them know quickly if their blood results were fine, send reminders or useful links to online information. Just 48 hours after the announcement of strict restrictions on our lives, the options at my disposal expanded vastly, and we were given the green light to have video consultations with patients.

One wonders why it took a global pandemic to do this, when every other business has adapted quickly to the options available through modern technology.

But then you quickly remember that with other businesses, you're the customer. Not so with the NHS...

Using this technology I have seen new babies with their mums and keyworkers who were unable to get to an appointment, and checked up on shielding patients and care home residents too. My patients can now reply to texts, and I can send them documents such as fit notes (once known as sick notes) or referral letters securely to their phone. If you need a prescription, it’s sent straight to your pharmacy – meaning you no longer need to pick up a green slip from reception. Most surgeries now ask patients who wish to book an appointment to fill out an online form, giving plenty of information. If it’s just a letter that they need, admin staff can handle that. Complex problems can be forwarded on to your doctor – you might need a face-to-face appointment, or you might not.

And the app presumably doesn't spend 10 minutes chatting to the other apps on your phone while you wait at the counter!

But wait, you cry! What about the scare stories about people not getting their cancer and other appointments?

There have been understandable concerns that many cancer diagnoses are being missed. Last month, Cancer Research UK said an estimated two million people were waiting for breast, bowel or cervical screening.

But during lockdown, patients who have come to me with symptoms have been diagnosed quicker than ever – with most seen within 48 hours instead of the usual two, three or four week wait for that first GP appointment.

Hmmm...