It’s Because We Don’t Have Real Problems…

...that things like these get blown out of all proportion:

One week it’s an airport security tray filled with carefully tessellated items that represent the owner’s personality, the next it’s a curated fridge shelf decorated with fairy lights and flowers. But is this the acme – or the nadir - of the organising cult? According to some, the trend has gone too far. We are cluttering our mental landscape with our decluttering schemes, say the experts – and when the Association of Professional Declutterers and Organisers tells you to put down the duster, you know you’ve been spoken to.

I didn't even know such a thing existed.... 

“The constant need to keep up with these decluttering and organisational trends is causing genuine mental and physical stress,” says Siân Pelleschi, the APDO president. “People are losing the ability, in some cases, to distinguish between a fad and a method that can benefit their life. They’re experiencing overwhelm and feelings of hopelessness thanks to all these different organisational trends and methods.”

No, thanks to them taking any notice of them. I don't, so I'm perfectly fine.  

Decluttering and organising has been a thing since long before the Netflix series Tidying Up with Marie Kondo made it a bone fide trend in 2019. But it has now reached heights of unparalleled intensity. The TikTok hashtag #Cleantok has more than 110.4bn views.

Once again, I'm so glad I don't do TikTok. 

J’Nae Phillips, senior trend analyst, fashion columnist and creator of the Fashion Tingz newsletter, says these curated visuals are “a way for individuals to express their creativity and values in spaces that might otherwise seem mundane”.

These are the sort of people that drive this stuff? Good grief!  

“Sharing images of aesthetic airport trays and meticulously organised fridges on social media isn’t about reducing one’s identity to simplistic snapshots,” she says. “Instead of being reductive, these posts serve as micro-narratives in which we actively reconstruct and recontextualise our identities to align with contemporary trends where online presence is a significant extension of self.”

To which I can only say: PARKLIFE! 

Who’s A Clever Boy Then?

A man who was denied his graduation for 41 years because of an unpaid bill of £64.80 relating to a parrot has finally donned his cap and gown on the same day as his son.

Jonny Clothier studied architecture at the University of Bristol and was meant to graduate with his peers in 1983. But his old flatmate had a parrot which, after being left unsupervised, had free run of their university accommodation and was said to have wrecked the place. The students found alternative housing but still had to settle the final term’s rent of £64.80, which Clothier refused to pay. A long-since abolished rule meant that students with unpaid accommodation bills were awarded degrees but were not allowed to graduate.

But now they've waived the bill. Is he grateful? Reader, what do you think?

Clothier, 62, who lives in Petersfield, Hampshire, said he viewed the unpaid bill as an “ultra-long-term, interest-free loan”. “They haven’t mentioned the money, so I’m keeping quiet,” he said. It means Clothier, his wife Helen Hill, 60, and their three children have all graduated from the University of Bristol.

Thanks for letting future employers know you can’t be trusted, Jonny!  

Clothier left architecture and also went to work in TV, as a director and executive producer, but has since returned to his former subject and is building a contemporary net-zero treehouse in the Forest of Dean.

At this point, I’m rolling my eyes pretty hard…but there’s more! 

Their eldest son, Quito, graduated with a degree in music in 2020. He is an operatic tenor in London and works as an art dealer specialising in the work of Banksy.

Gosh, his workday must be action-packed. 

The couple’s daughter, Tiger, graduated in law in 2023 and was a ski instructor in Japan before embarking on a career in marketing.

Is there no beginning to the achievements of this family? 

Carter, who is looking for a career in sustainability having recently represented England at lacrosse in Portugal, said: “It’s definitely a unique experience graduating with your dad, but it was an amazing day and a beautiful ceremony.”

The entire family should get a group ticket for that ‘B’ Ark….