Saturday, 28 January 2012

Ah, That Frisson Of Anticipation! get when you look at a local newspaper thread and see this:

You know it's going to be a rich seam of chavtastic splendour:
Drivers watched in disbelief after a woman was punched during a row over a car parking space on the first day of the sales in Hull.

One woman punched another in the car park at Tesco in St Stephen's Shopping Centre as carloads of shoppers descended on the city centre for the Boxing Day sales.
So, safety ropes tied off, helmet on, let's go spelunking!


Just think two teachers lost their jobs for correctly describing such types.

If it was caught on CCTV it would be interesting to see it on Look North.”
Yes, yes indeed it would...

“Good old fashioned road rage, but as usual the HDM who never write anything positive about Hull try and act like this is unique to Hull, you couldn't make it up unless you write for the Mail.”
This is certainly true, as MacHeath points out, it seems to be unique to large shopping areas and sales, no matter where they are.

But as we know, a comment thread never really catches light until an involved party joins it, so...


“for all your information!! first of all the git driving the car ran into me!! not once but twice!! then the passenger had the cheek to call me a fat sl*g!! ye ok i might be big but so what have most of you looked in the mirror? at least im trying to do something about it!! and as for what the mail has published is mostly lies due to the interfering woman from another car that just wanted to get a quick name for herself, and started offering me out! i'm not sorry, she got what she deserved, if she hadn't have insulted me in such a nasty way maybe she wouldn't have got a good hiding!! and when i told her not to call me that she grabbed me!! i was only defending myself.

anyone else got anything to say...?”
And we're off!


Macheath said...

A vintage specimen, this!

There is now a reply from the 'victim':
'And as for you punching me in the face [...] I will be taking this incident further for physical assault.'

Does this mean that the police will be required to trawl through this feast of semi-literate verbiage as part of their investigation? That should be an interesting report...

Thanks for the link, btw. As ever, I'm amazed at your stamina in dealing with the sort of thing that makes me want to go and lie down in a darkened room (or emigrate to the wilds of British Caledonia).

Captain Haddock said...

Hully-Gully's again .. says it all really ..

Though I would query "Spelunking" .. surely, Julia, you mean Potholing ?

Let's keep alive the few bits of the English language which remain un-bastardised, eh ? .. ;)

Anonymous said...

Chavtastic indeed.

Captain Haddock said...

Perhaps where violence is involved, they ought to be called "Chavages" ? .. ;)

Mick Turatian said...


I'm with the Cap'n on this.

I find references to Lassie and Rin Tin Tin comforting and reassuring.

And then a word comes along that sends me off to the urban dictionary and, well, no, not nice.

Tattyfalarr said...

From the comments:

winegumdaze: “she was punched in the car park, what part of the body is that?”

hcfchcfc08: It's the part of the body that when touched by a Scotsman makes her say, "Oooohhh tarmac".”

Comedy gold :)

Macheath said...

...emigrate to the wilds of British Caledonia

Or, rather, British Columbia; it hasn't been Caledonia since 1858 (a Freudian slip that indicates just how far away from it all I want to be).

JuliaM said...

"As ever, I'm amazed at your stamina in dealing with the sort of thing that makes me want to go and lie down in a darkened room.."

It does indeed make you wonder, doesn't it?

"Hully-Gully's again..."

Yes, it's a fertile hunting ground!

"Perhaps where violence is involved, they ought to be called "Chavages" ?"

Heh! You should trademark that.