Friday 20 January 2012

And Just What Does ‘Almost Abstained’ Mean..?

Jason Taylor, defending, said the air rifle was not loaded – meaning it actually made louder bangs when it was fired.

He added: "It is hard to believe that a young man who is so pleasant has behaved so incredibly foolishly.

"He has been so shocked by his behaviour after consuming seven pints of cider that he has almost abstained from alcohol.
So now he just limits himself to six pints before playing loud music, getting his head handed to him by an aggrieved neighbour he assaulted and retaliating with a firearm?
"The chances of this man coming back before the court again are as low as you can imagine."
Oooh, I think not.
Judge Simon Darwall-Smith told Bryant, of Anchor Road, Kingswood, that his early guilty plea and lack of previous convictions had allowed him to suspend his prison term.

"I believe you have learned your lessons – one of which is to stop drinking cider," he said.
*sigh*

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Judge Simon Darwall-Smith: "Perhaps you enlighten me as to the meaning and purpose of Rhianna? Are they a popular music combo in the style of The Beatles? One day there will be men on the moon too, you know!

Captain Haddock said...

I'm thinking that the time is right for the introduction of legislation which would make Lawyers who offer such ludicrous mitigation .. and Judges who hand down such pathetic sentences, personally liable for ensuring that the offender does not "come before the courts" again ..

The effect being, that if said offender went on to commit further crime .. the Lawyer or Judge responsible for aiding & abetting that to happen, would be joining them behind bars ..

I believe we'd see a very sharp sea-change in attitudes then ..

Will Jones said...

Cap'n,

It's funny, Evelyn Waugh pointed out the absurdity of the 'I'm not used to strong drink' defence some 70 odd years ago in Brideshead Revisted.

Real life reflecting fiction reflecting real life. You can give yourself a headache trying to sort that shit out.

I need a drink.

RAB said...

Judge Simon Darwall-Smith told Bryant, of Anchor Road, Kingswood, that his early guilty plea and lack of previous convictions had allowed him to suspend his prison term.

"I believe you have learned your lessons – one of which is to stop drinking cider," he said.

Gawd, is this dripping Wet old fart still on the bench? he was there when I was there back in the late 70s. Yes yer Honour, he's given up the cider, he's on the Vodka now.

JuliaM said...

"I'm thinking that the time is right for the introduction of legislation which would make Lawyers who offer such ludicrous mitigation .. and Judges who hand down such pathetic sentences, personally liable for ensuring that the offender does not "come before the courts" again .."

Capital idea!

"Gawd, is this dripping Wet old fart still on the bench? he was there when I was there back in the late 70s. "

Maybe, rather than demanding the right to elect police commissioners (who'll have no power anyway) we should look at electing judges?