Sunday 8 January 2012

"If you go down in the woods today..."

...you probably shouldn't worry about bears so much:
A Norwich teacher discovered a pile of Second World War mortars when she stopped for a toilet break while walking in the woods.
No, they weren't hidden in a toilet, this was more of the 'find a bush and hope for no stinging nettles' type of toilet break:
The mother-of-four said: “There was a little dump of about 10 of these things. I had perched right on top of them.

“It was bit of a shock really to be sitting there and to see them – you don’t expect it.

“I guess because it was off the beaten track the chances of coming across them were quite remote.

“I was in the right place to see them.”
Thank the lord for your dicky bladder, then...
On Thursday afternoon a bomb disposal crew headed into Horsford to destroyed the mortars with a controlled explosion. They are believed to have been dumped when the woods were used as a firing range in the 1940s.
Anyone else think the reporter uses the word 'dump' a little too much in this report..?

H/T
: Dave Ward via email

9 comments:

Twenty_Rothmans said...

Good thing that she had her knickers around her ankles, thus sparing her an uncomfortable journey home.

Alternative headline: 'Ammunition dump'

Dick the Prick said...

Errr....wouldn't you shuffle off somewhere else? Sure, when you've gotta go you've gotta go but i'm not really into dangerous eblusions - thrill seeker!

Captain Haddock said...

"Tinkle, tinkle, little ... BOOM !!! " ...

"Errr....wouldn't you shuffle off somewhere else ? " ...

She's a Teacher, Dick .. says it all really ... ;)

Tattyfalarr said...

Why would anyoney give such intimate detail as to what they were doing when they found them ?

Maybe she was worried sick that CSI would forensically inspect and find her DNA at the scene. :)

Captain Haddock said...

From the accompanying photo, the tail-fin looks remarkably similar to that found on the bombs fired from the old 2" Mortar ..

Which was generally used to launch Smoke bombs or bombs containing a Para-Illuminating flare ..

Still .. if they had gone off, she wouldn't have needed to worry about getting a bikini wax, ever again .. ;)

Ancient + Tattered Airman said...

Hmmm. 2" mortar eh?
I remember the RAF Regiment trying to teach 'ground defence' to my course of fledgling pilots.
His opening gambit was a classic.
"Today, gentlemen I an going to introduce you to a weapon that strikes dead our enemies and can turn night into day. It is (sweeps away the blanket that had been covering the object) The Two Inch Mortar". He didn't trust us enough to fire the thing though!

blueknight said...

Dependant on what was 'dumped' on top of the dump, I am hoping that the order before 'Take cover' was 'Raise umbrellas'. They don't pay the Army enough I say.

John Pickworth said...

Reminds me of the line from “Priscilla Queen of the Desert”

"Listen here you mullet, why don’t you light your tampon and blow your box apart as that's the only bang you’re going to get, sweetheart…"

Oh okay, world war 2 munitions will work too.

JuliaM said...

"Why would anyoney give such intimate detail as to what they were doing when they found them ? "

It never ceases to amaze me, the things people entranced by their five minutes of fame will tell the reporter...

"if they had gone off, she wouldn't have needed to worry about getting a bikini wax, ever again .."

Heh! ;)